Just spent the whole day at the lake with Jenni. And I am exhausted. And my face is bright red.
((Sigh))
Fail.
I gotta work all day tomorrow, then Monday is class, and then Tuesday I leave for Houston! I can't wait to see Jenna. She's 8 months preggers now! It'll be the first time I get to see her with her belly. Also can't wait to spend the weekend with Taryn and the gang! It's gonna be a blast.
So I should have some exciting posts coming up soon!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
The Guests
Well Todd and Laura just left. Their visit was a lot shorter than I thought it was going to be, but we had so much fun in the short time they were here! They got in Sunday night, and I took them to one of my favorite cafes for dinner. I wanted to take them to an improv show that night too, cuz a lot of my class members were going, but Todd was too tired after several days of being out in the sun and working hard. So we came home instead and I set up Todd and Laura in my room. I wasn't nearly ready for bed, so I stayed up, watched True Blood and surfed the net on the couch upstairs, where I would be sleeping. It was while I was watching True Blood that the telltale sounds of fornication reached my ears. Ughhh... Really?!?! They did it in my bed! First I was really shocked, then really grossed out, and then really annoyed. I mean, isn't there like an unspoken rule that you just don't have sex in your friend's bed?? I mean a guest room, maybe. But that is my room, and my bed that I sleep in every night! Either they're both uncontrollably horny, or Laura really gets off on having sex with Todd while I'm in the vicinity. Maybe she's marking her territory? Ugh. All I know is, now I have to change the sheets again. ((Sigh)) Awkward...
Well the next morning, I woke up early from a restless, uncomfortable sleep on the couch. Being that I was upstairs and in a high traffic area, I couldn't help but be woken up by the comings and goings of my roommates. So I decided to just get up and get a head start on breakfast. I made scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes, and the company enjoyed them, especially Todd. It's always a good feeling to feed someone. Hehe. Todd was pretty much glued to the TV since they were making all those announcements about the end of the lockout (YAY!) After breakfast, we talked about what they wanted to do that day, since it was pretty much their only day in the city. Laura confessed it was her first time in Chicago, so I decided right then that we had to head downtown and do some touristy stuff. So I took them to the John Hancock Observatory room and we took pictures. They loved it. Then we did a little shopping at the water tower, ate some Wow Bao, and headed back to my place, rather tired and full.
After a couple hours of relaxation, I made us all a round of shots (we had plenty to celebrate after all) and we headed out for pizza to meet one of Todd's friends from college, and one of Laura's childhood friends. Todd's friend, Brad, is a department manager at some kind of staffing company out in the burbs, and he actually offered me a job! I mean we were just bullshitting and talking and stuff, and he started asking me all these questions. Then Todd started laughing and said, "He's totally interviewing you for a job right now." So now, I have an interview with him tomorrow! Haha. So that's pretty sweet, but I don't know if I'm even interested or capable of taking the job, since I'm in school and everything. But it's always good to put feelers out. So I'm meeting Brad at his office at 3 o'clock tomorrow!
Towards the end of our meal, Bruce met up with us, and then we headed to the improv show. Brad, and Laura's friend had to head home, so it was just the 4 of us. The show wasn't the best I've seen, but it was definitely still funny, and we had a good time. Will and Lane were actually at the downstairs show, texting me, and asking why I missed class. Apparently Bruce and I both played hooky. But we're gonna make up the class together on Wednesday, with Max. So I invited the guys to all come out with us after the show, but they all ended up not coming. Lane actually said he "could be convinced to meet at Ravens later", but of course he bailed. And we ended up calling it a night around 1:30 anyway. Todd and Laura just don't really party the way me and my friends do, apparently. So by 2am, I was tucked into my very small couch bed, and woken up several times, once again, throughout the morning today. ((Sigh))
So Todd and Laura are on their way to the airport now, and I'm still on the couch, typing this post. I'm waiting for a package today anyway, so I might as well stay upstairs. Plus, I don't feel like changing my sheets at the moment, as awesome as a real bed sounds...
But I'm really glad that Todd and Laura came. It was really nice to see Todd again after so long. Things are completely back the way they were between us now. Only took us over a year, but hey. He even asked me if I was gonna make it to some games this season, now that the lock out is over. And of course I am! I'm looking forward to it already. :)
Well the next morning, I woke up early from a restless, uncomfortable sleep on the couch. Being that I was upstairs and in a high traffic area, I couldn't help but be woken up by the comings and goings of my roommates. So I decided to just get up and get a head start on breakfast. I made scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes, and the company enjoyed them, especially Todd. It's always a good feeling to feed someone. Hehe. Todd was pretty much glued to the TV since they were making all those announcements about the end of the lockout (YAY!) After breakfast, we talked about what they wanted to do that day, since it was pretty much their only day in the city. Laura confessed it was her first time in Chicago, so I decided right then that we had to head downtown and do some touristy stuff. So I took them to the John Hancock Observatory room and we took pictures. They loved it. Then we did a little shopping at the water tower, ate some Wow Bao, and headed back to my place, rather tired and full.
After a couple hours of relaxation, I made us all a round of shots (we had plenty to celebrate after all) and we headed out for pizza to meet one of Todd's friends from college, and one of Laura's childhood friends. Todd's friend, Brad, is a department manager at some kind of staffing company out in the burbs, and he actually offered me a job! I mean we were just bullshitting and talking and stuff, and he started asking me all these questions. Then Todd started laughing and said, "He's totally interviewing you for a job right now." So now, I have an interview with him tomorrow! Haha. So that's pretty sweet, but I don't know if I'm even interested or capable of taking the job, since I'm in school and everything. But it's always good to put feelers out. So I'm meeting Brad at his office at 3 o'clock tomorrow!
Towards the end of our meal, Bruce met up with us, and then we headed to the improv show. Brad, and Laura's friend had to head home, so it was just the 4 of us. The show wasn't the best I've seen, but it was definitely still funny, and we had a good time. Will and Lane were actually at the downstairs show, texting me, and asking why I missed class. Apparently Bruce and I both played hooky. But we're gonna make up the class together on Wednesday, with Max. So I invited the guys to all come out with us after the show, but they all ended up not coming. Lane actually said he "could be convinced to meet at Ravens later", but of course he bailed. And we ended up calling it a night around 1:30 anyway. Todd and Laura just don't really party the way me and my friends do, apparently. So by 2am, I was tucked into my very small couch bed, and woken up several times, once again, throughout the morning today. ((Sigh))
So Todd and Laura are on their way to the airport now, and I'm still on the couch, typing this post. I'm waiting for a package today anyway, so I might as well stay upstairs. Plus, I don't feel like changing my sheets at the moment, as awesome as a real bed sounds...
But I'm really glad that Todd and Laura came. It was really nice to see Todd again after so long. Things are completely back the way they were between us now. Only took us over a year, but hey. He even asked me if I was gonna make it to some games this season, now that the lock out is over. And of course I am! I'm looking forward to it already. :)
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Last Minute Visitors
Dude...the last few days have been a disaster. We got some really bad storms on Friday night while I was at work and the downstairs at my bar flooded! Like...there was a foot of water down there. Then our phone lines went down so we couldn't close credit card tabs, or adjust tips. So needless to say, we were all there till 5:30 in the morning. The good thing about that is, I think I've finally been accepted as "one of the gang", and I'm no longer just the new girl at work. The four bartenders that were working that night were Warren, who practically runs the place, he's been there so long; Abbie, who kind of looks like a supermodel, but not in the bombshell kind of way; Ronnie, a girl who always bartends downstairs and has awesome blue eyes; and Felix, who looks like he belongs in the band Weezer, and is really nerdy and sweet. Warren was definitely the least accepting of the group, so it's like once you've won him over, you've won everyone over. And I definitely won him over with cookies that I brought for everybody to snack on. Lol. But back to the story...
Several shots of tequila later, when it finally stopped pouring, and the phone lines started working again, we were able to finish doing our checkouts and head home. As soon as I walked in the door though, I smelled something...peaky. I went out in search of the smell and tracked it down to the "maintenance" closet where the water heater is hidden. There was a mysterious black sludge seeping out from under the door. Low and behold, the mysterious black sludge was SHIT. MUDDY SHIT. It was so disgusting, and the smell was intoxicatingly rank.
"I soooo can't deal with this right now." I said to myself.
I immediately texted Dane, who then called and asked me what was going on. I explained the situation as best I could. Apparently the whole city was having flooding issues. So I went to bed around 7am with the promise that the plumber would be coming when Dane got home from work in a few hours. When I woke up to get ready for work the next afternoon, Dane was in the hallway in his fireman's boots, with rubber gloves on and some kind of drain cleaner trying to fix the drain. I've never seen him mad before but boy did he look pissed! And I don't blame him!
I was all too glad to get out of there. My night last night was relatively interesting as well. I agreed to barback cuz Caleb asked me to, as a favor to him. And he said it would be a "good introduction to bar training". As if I need bar training... ((sigh)). But it wasn't that bad. I only had to work from 6 to midnight, and it wasn't even that busy. So at least I got a bit familiar with the bar. Warren and Abbie were working again too, so I got to hang out with them. But while I was at work, I got a text from Laura (Todd's on-again-off-again girlfriend, currently on). "Hey it's still cool if we stay with you tomorrow night, right?"
I had completely forgotten they were coming, and that I had offered to let them stay with me. In my defense however, Todd said he wasn't sure where they were going to stay, and that he would let me know, but he never did, obviously! So they couldn't have picked a worse time to come stay, considered the literal shitstorm that just hit our condo! Ugh...
I told her it was cool for the them to stay, but warned them about the flooding and that it might smell a little funny in the hallway...
When I got home, I immediately started cleaning everything. I swept and washed the floor upstairs, swept my room, and cleaned up the hallway as best I could. There was a box of my stuff in that closet when it flooded. Mostly photos, in plastic storage containers, but there was some pictures that weren't in plastic, and got wet ((shudder)). So I had to sort through the whole box, and throw a bunch of stuff away. Luckily I didn't lose anything of value, but it was still really disgusting. Then I had to sweep and tidy up my room. And now it's 2:22 on Sunday and I'm frantically doing laundry so that they have fresh sheets to sleep on since yes, they're sleeping in my bed. ((Sigh))
I only had like 6 hours of sleep. And Todd isn't even sure exactly when they're getting here! He's in Wisconsin (I think) teaching a football camp (he does it every summer) so they're not very far from Chicago. He said he thinks they'll be here around 6:30 but it depends on what time the camp ends today. And of course, it's Sunday, so everyone in the complex is doing laundry too. UGh. I usually like to do mine in the middle of the night during the week when there's nobody in the laundry room. So here's hoping I finish the laundry in time!
Other than that, I'm actually really excited they're coming! I'm going to take them to see the improv show on Tuesday night, and bring them to my bar for dinner, maybe go to the lake on Wednesday... We're gonna have a blast!
So, I'm all caught up on posting now! I can't promise to keep posting every day, but I will definitely try. Next post, remind me to write about the nightmare I had involving Lane, and Facebook...
Several shots of tequila later, when it finally stopped pouring, and the phone lines started working again, we were able to finish doing our checkouts and head home. As soon as I walked in the door though, I smelled something...peaky. I went out in search of the smell and tracked it down to the "maintenance" closet where the water heater is hidden. There was a mysterious black sludge seeping out from under the door. Low and behold, the mysterious black sludge was SHIT. MUDDY SHIT. It was so disgusting, and the smell was intoxicatingly rank.
"I soooo can't deal with this right now." I said to myself.
I immediately texted Dane, who then called and asked me what was going on. I explained the situation as best I could. Apparently the whole city was having flooding issues. So I went to bed around 7am with the promise that the plumber would be coming when Dane got home from work in a few hours. When I woke up to get ready for work the next afternoon, Dane was in the hallway in his fireman's boots, with rubber gloves on and some kind of drain cleaner trying to fix the drain. I've never seen him mad before but boy did he look pissed! And I don't blame him!
I was all too glad to get out of there. My night last night was relatively interesting as well. I agreed to barback cuz Caleb asked me to, as a favor to him. And he said it would be a "good introduction to bar training". As if I need bar training... ((sigh)). But it wasn't that bad. I only had to work from 6 to midnight, and it wasn't even that busy. So at least I got a bit familiar with the bar. Warren and Abbie were working again too, so I got to hang out with them. But while I was at work, I got a text from Laura (Todd's on-again-off-again girlfriend, currently on). "Hey it's still cool if we stay with you tomorrow night, right?"
I had completely forgotten they were coming, and that I had offered to let them stay with me. In my defense however, Todd said he wasn't sure where they were going to stay, and that he would let me know, but he never did, obviously! So they couldn't have picked a worse time to come stay, considered the literal shitstorm that just hit our condo! Ugh...
I told her it was cool for the them to stay, but warned them about the flooding and that it might smell a little funny in the hallway...
When I got home, I immediately started cleaning everything. I swept and washed the floor upstairs, swept my room, and cleaned up the hallway as best I could. There was a box of my stuff in that closet when it flooded. Mostly photos, in plastic storage containers, but there was some pictures that weren't in plastic, and got wet ((shudder)). So I had to sort through the whole box, and throw a bunch of stuff away. Luckily I didn't lose anything of value, but it was still really disgusting. Then I had to sweep and tidy up my room. And now it's 2:22 on Sunday and I'm frantically doing laundry so that they have fresh sheets to sleep on since yes, they're sleeping in my bed. ((Sigh))
I only had like 6 hours of sleep. And Todd isn't even sure exactly when they're getting here! He's in Wisconsin (I think) teaching a football camp (he does it every summer) so they're not very far from Chicago. He said he thinks they'll be here around 6:30 but it depends on what time the camp ends today. And of course, it's Sunday, so everyone in the complex is doing laundry too. UGh. I usually like to do mine in the middle of the night during the week when there's nobody in the laundry room. So here's hoping I finish the laundry in time!
Other than that, I'm actually really excited they're coming! I'm going to take them to see the improv show on Tuesday night, and bring them to my bar for dinner, maybe go to the lake on Wednesday... We're gonna have a blast!
So, I'm all caught up on posting now! I can't promise to keep posting every day, but I will definitely try. Next post, remind me to write about the nightmare I had involving Lane, and Facebook...
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Living With It
Last night, against my better judgement, I met up with Will, Lane, and Rose at the theater. The show was actually hilarious, so I am glad I went. I still chuckle when I think about it... Lol. But anyway, Will went home afterwards, as usual, but Lane and Rose wanted to grab a drink somewhere. So we headed back to the Ginger Man, as per usual, and each grabbed a beer. I was determined to not let it be awkward, and it wasn't. Granted, Rose was there as a buffer, and I really like her, she's funny and we have a lot in common. But things with Lane seem to be actually, completely normal now. Thank god. At one point we even ended up alone, when Rose went to the bathroom. And we just kept the conversation going, no big deal.
What I've noticed about him though is he's kind of full of himself. I mean he's always talking about himself in a flattering way, and it's starting to get kind of annoying. For example, he went in to apply for a barrister position, and left with an audition to be the lead in a play. I've heard him tell that story like 6 times. Seriously. And he's always talking about how he knows all these important people, and how all these opportunities are always dropping into his lap. He even told me (half-jokingly) that he hopes he dies at 27 (which just happens to be my age!) because Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix died at 27 and they're some of the most famous people in history. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! He is ridiculous! I told him maybe he should work on becoming famous before he starts planning his untimely death. ((Rolls eyes))
I dunno...it could be just that I've been searching for some kind of flaw in him that I can cling to with an iron grip to help me get over him. But I'm like...80% over him already. So maybe it's working? Or maybe he really is just totally full of himself.
I just feel a tinge of regret for never asking him what the deal is. Not about "us", but about why he suddenly pulled away. But I could never ask him that. That would be completely foolish. And I guess that's what every girl wants to know when a guy suddenly, mysteriously loses interest. And it's just one of those things I'll never learn the answer to and I'll just have to live with it.
What I've noticed about him though is he's kind of full of himself. I mean he's always talking about himself in a flattering way, and it's starting to get kind of annoying. For example, he went in to apply for a barrister position, and left with an audition to be the lead in a play. I've heard him tell that story like 6 times. Seriously. And he's always talking about how he knows all these important people, and how all these opportunities are always dropping into his lap. He even told me (half-jokingly) that he hopes he dies at 27 (which just happens to be my age!) because Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix died at 27 and they're some of the most famous people in history. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! He is ridiculous! I told him maybe he should work on becoming famous before he starts planning his untimely death. ((Rolls eyes))
I dunno...it could be just that I've been searching for some kind of flaw in him that I can cling to with an iron grip to help me get over him. But I'm like...80% over him already. So maybe it's working? Or maybe he really is just totally full of himself.
I just feel a tinge of regret for never asking him what the deal is. Not about "us", but about why he suddenly pulled away. But I could never ask him that. That would be completely foolish. And I guess that's what every girl wants to know when a guy suddenly, mysteriously loses interest. And it's just one of those things I'll never learn the answer to and I'll just have to live with it.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Mind Over Matter
Since I made the decision to stop worrying about Lane, and get on with my life, things have actually, surprisingly, been easier. Tonight, class was fun again, and I did way better than last week. Lane and I kind of avoided each other's eyes, but it wasn't like I was chatting it up with anyone else in the class. I just tried to pay attention and stick with the program, all personal feelings aside. I did have to do a one-on-one scene with Lane though, and I was super nervous, and freaking out a little, but once we got started it was like nothing had ever happened, and we were just classmates again. So that was a relief, as far as class is concerned anyway.
After class a group of us went out for dinner and beers, like we used to, and it actually seemed like things might be getting back to normal. In the end it was me, Rose (who recently broke things off with JJ), Lane and Will. So pretty much the usual group. We only stayed till about 11:30 and then we all went home. Will left us at the stop light, and I walked with Rose and Langston, since their train stop was on the way to my house. When we got to the train, I started to say my goodbyes.
"Wait, where are you going?" Lane asked, looking a little confused.
"Home..." I said.
"On the train?" He asked.
"No, I live like 2 blocks from here." I said, giving him a look that clearly said, "Remember??"
"Ohhhh, right." He laughed almost uncomfortably, "Well Will and I are going to the show again tomorrow night if you wanna go."
"Of course you are." I teased. They both have idolizing crushes on the guy-girl improv duo that performs every Tuesday.
"Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow," Rose said, "Do you wanna go?" She looked at me expectantly.
I was actually planning to skip tomorrow, just to put some distance between Lane and I, but instead I agreed, not wanting to be left out should everyone decide to actually do something tomorrow night.
So I guess I'm meeting them tomorrow night at the theater. Still not really sold on it though. I would almost rather just hang out at home and save money, than spend an awkward 2 hours with Lane, trying to decide how I should act. ((Sigh)) Oh well. I guess I'd rather us get through the awkward phase and just go back to how things were sooner than later. Mind over matter.
After class a group of us went out for dinner and beers, like we used to, and it actually seemed like things might be getting back to normal. In the end it was me, Rose (who recently broke things off with JJ), Lane and Will. So pretty much the usual group. We only stayed till about 11:30 and then we all went home. Will left us at the stop light, and I walked with Rose and Langston, since their train stop was on the way to my house. When we got to the train, I started to say my goodbyes.
"Wait, where are you going?" Lane asked, looking a little confused.
"Home..." I said.
"On the train?" He asked.
"No, I live like 2 blocks from here." I said, giving him a look that clearly said, "Remember??"
"Ohhhh, right." He laughed almost uncomfortably, "Well Will and I are going to the show again tomorrow night if you wanna go."
"Of course you are." I teased. They both have idolizing crushes on the guy-girl improv duo that performs every Tuesday.
"Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow," Rose said, "Do you wanna go?" She looked at me expectantly.
I was actually planning to skip tomorrow, just to put some distance between Lane and I, but instead I agreed, not wanting to be left out should everyone decide to actually do something tomorrow night.
So I guess I'm meeting them tomorrow night at the theater. Still not really sold on it though. I would almost rather just hang out at home and save money, than spend an awkward 2 hours with Lane, trying to decide how I should act. ((Sigh)) Oh well. I guess I'd rather us get through the awkward phase and just go back to how things were sooner than later. Mind over matter.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
All Dressed Up...
...and Lane just backed out. He just started a new job I guess, and he picked up a shift at 6am tomorrow. We were supposed to meet up with Will in an hour. So now I guess it's just me and Will. Another really cute outfit wasted. I'm tired of being blown off by Lane, regardless of his reasons. I think it's safe to say it's over between us. I need to meet someone new. ASAP.
Friday, July 15, 2011
YAYYYYY HARRY POTTER!!! :D
Just got back from Harry Potter. Such a happy yet sad conclusion to the Harry Potter era!! :'(
I still can't believe it's over! I'm probably gonna cry myself to sleep tonight. ((Sigh))
I also really really wanna text Lane. I'm not gonna do it though. He texted me last night actually, at 2am. Here's our convo...
Lane: My car got broken into. My no drinking heavily on weekends diet will have to be extended.
I waited about 10 minutes to respond, because I was debating whether or not I should respond, but since he reached out to me, I decided I should.
Me: Well that fucking blows. What did they take?
Lane: Surprisingly just the dash. Went through everything else but left it all. Even tossed my tire pressure gauge in the back seat. Made off with my lupe cd, which was still in the player, but left the rest.
Me: Did they break a window or what?
Lane: Yea. Fixing that Friday and the rest later.
Me: That sucks. I'm sorry.
Lane: It's okay. I came out better than I might have under different circumstances.
Me: Such as...?
Lane: Having valuable things in the car, or if they had taken my bag without checking it first.
Lane: Or gotten a parking ticket with it.
Me: Ohhhh right. Yea I had a huge case of cds stolen out of the back of my car when I was HS...you know before the mp3 days. Lol. It was quite a tragedy.
Lane: Yea so a window, dash console and one cd isn't the end of the world
Lane: Had I not already lost my old iPod on the bus, they would have gotten that too
I didn't know what else to say after that, so I didn't say anything, and that was the end of our conversation. I'm just really confused now. I feel like he's sending me mixed signals and I don't know what to think! But I'm NOT going to text him. I'm working tomorrow, and I think I'm gonna pick up Saturday, so that's 2 days I don't have to worry about. Then Sunday I'll probably just chill and Monday I'll see him in class. ((Sigh)) So we'll see how that goes...
I still can't believe it's over! I'm probably gonna cry myself to sleep tonight. ((Sigh))
I also really really wanna text Lane. I'm not gonna do it though. He texted me last night actually, at 2am. Here's our convo...
Lane: My car got broken into. My no drinking heavily on weekends diet will have to be extended.
I waited about 10 minutes to respond, because I was debating whether or not I should respond, but since he reached out to me, I decided I should.
Me: Well that fucking blows. What did they take?
Lane: Surprisingly just the dash. Went through everything else but left it all. Even tossed my tire pressure gauge in the back seat. Made off with my lupe cd, which was still in the player, but left the rest.
Me: Did they break a window or what?
Lane: Yea. Fixing that Friday and the rest later.
Me: That sucks. I'm sorry.
Lane: It's okay. I came out better than I might have under different circumstances.
Me: Such as...?
Lane: Having valuable things in the car, or if they had taken my bag without checking it first.
Lane: Or gotten a parking ticket with it.
Me: Ohhhh right. Yea I had a huge case of cds stolen out of the back of my car when I was HS...you know before the mp3 days. Lol. It was quite a tragedy.
Lane: Yea so a window, dash console and one cd isn't the end of the world
Lane: Had I not already lost my old iPod on the bus, they would have gotten that too
I didn't know what else to say after that, so I didn't say anything, and that was the end of our conversation. I'm just really confused now. I feel like he's sending me mixed signals and I don't know what to think! But I'm NOT going to text him. I'm working tomorrow, and I think I'm gonna pick up Saturday, so that's 2 days I don't have to worry about. Then Sunday I'll probably just chill and Monday I'll see him in class. ((Sigh)) So we'll see how that goes...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
What To Do About Dad
I just got off the phone with my mom, who is seriously worried about my dad. She said she just went to see the lawyer because my dad is in such a hurry to get the divorce done with. ((Sigh))
She thinks he has a girlfriend.
When I asked her why, she said she there was a strange car over there the other day when he wasn't home. And she found a necklace in their old bathroom. It had a 'K' on it. When she asked him about it, he said he had found it and was going to give it to her, meaning my mom. But why would he give my mom a necklace with a K on it?? Her name doesn't even HAVE a K in it.
When I asked her that she said, "I don't know Peyton, I can just tell he's hiding things from me. I also found a statement from one of our retirement funds that he forgot to mention, which has a lot of money in it! And if I hadn't found it and brought it to the lawyer, then I might be totally screwed out of that money!"
"Ok, well I don't think Dad is trying to screw you out of any money. He just...wouldn't do that. I'm not so sure about the girlfriend thing either. I mean, I know he's been going to see cover bands and he's always hanging out with these same 2 women, but...I just can't believe he already has a girlfriend. It's too soon!"
The thing is, my dad and I are now facebook friends. And lately I've been starting to wonder if friending him was a horrible idea. I keep seeing all these pictures of him out with different women, at bars, seeing concerts and stuff. And they all just look like floozies to me! I mean I've worked in bars for years, and I see the kind of 40-50-something single women that go out "to watch bands". They're mostly desperate, horny, gold diggers! And they're all trashy! And I don't think my dad should be hanging out with women like that!
So one these women he hangs out with happens to me named Kelly. WITH A K. And I do not like her. Why?? Well, for the obvious reasons of course. But there's more. One night, my dad posted a picture of 2 women (one of them was Kelly) making cheesy smiles, captioned, "Beautiful girls!"
And feeling, disgusted and angry I commented on it, "Eh, they're ok. What are they, like 25?"
My dad texted me the next morning explaining that he did not post the picture, the girls did. They apparently took his phone. I still can't decide if that's worse. But then I got a notification that Miss Kelly herself responded to my comment.
First my dad had written, "I'm sure they'll love that, about looking 25!"
And then Kelly writes, "Uh huh. I'm sure."
Uhh...wtf?? I know what I said was bitchy, but she fucking knows I'm his daughter. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME BITCH.
Maybe I'm being completely infantile, but that's how I feel. I am sooooo not ready to deal with my dad dating, let alone having a girlfriend!
I talked to Jenna on the phone yesterday, and she said she saw my dad at a family get together on the 4th, and that he kept talking to her about how he goes out all the time now and meets women, and she thought it was creepy hearing him talk about anyone other than my mom. ((Sigh)) Now I think I'm gonna have to have a talk with him. But what do I say?? I don't want to come off as judgmental, or accusatory, but...I'm seriously worried about him. I know my dad. He doesn't like to be alone. Not to mention he's a good looking guy. Especially for his age. You would never think he's in his early 50's. He doesn't look a day over 40! Both my parents look very young for their age actually, so I guess I have that to look forward to. But anyway! I'm afraid my dad is gonna take up with the first money-grubbing skeaze that gives him a compliment. And I definitely don't want that to happen. Part of me wishes I was still in Houston so I could really scope out this situation. I am going to be there next month. Maybe I can convince him to bring me out with his new "friends"...
She thinks he has a girlfriend.
When I asked her why, she said she there was a strange car over there the other day when he wasn't home. And she found a necklace in their old bathroom. It had a 'K' on it. When she asked him about it, he said he had found it and was going to give it to her, meaning my mom. But why would he give my mom a necklace with a K on it?? Her name doesn't even HAVE a K in it.
When I asked her that she said, "I don't know Peyton, I can just tell he's hiding things from me. I also found a statement from one of our retirement funds that he forgot to mention, which has a lot of money in it! And if I hadn't found it and brought it to the lawyer, then I might be totally screwed out of that money!"
"Ok, well I don't think Dad is trying to screw you out of any money. He just...wouldn't do that. I'm not so sure about the girlfriend thing either. I mean, I know he's been going to see cover bands and he's always hanging out with these same 2 women, but...I just can't believe he already has a girlfriend. It's too soon!"
The thing is, my dad and I are now facebook friends. And lately I've been starting to wonder if friending him was a horrible idea. I keep seeing all these pictures of him out with different women, at bars, seeing concerts and stuff. And they all just look like floozies to me! I mean I've worked in bars for years, and I see the kind of 40-50-something single women that go out "to watch bands". They're mostly desperate, horny, gold diggers! And they're all trashy! And I don't think my dad should be hanging out with women like that!
So one these women he hangs out with happens to me named Kelly. WITH A K. And I do not like her. Why?? Well, for the obvious reasons of course. But there's more. One night, my dad posted a picture of 2 women (one of them was Kelly) making cheesy smiles, captioned, "Beautiful girls!"
And feeling, disgusted and angry I commented on it, "Eh, they're ok. What are they, like 25?"
My dad texted me the next morning explaining that he did not post the picture, the girls did. They apparently took his phone. I still can't decide if that's worse. But then I got a notification that Miss Kelly herself responded to my comment.
First my dad had written, "I'm sure they'll love that, about looking 25!"
And then Kelly writes, "Uh huh. I'm sure."
Uhh...wtf?? I know what I said was bitchy, but she fucking knows I'm his daughter. DO NOT FUCK WITH ME BITCH.
Maybe I'm being completely infantile, but that's how I feel. I am sooooo not ready to deal with my dad dating, let alone having a girlfriend!
I talked to Jenna on the phone yesterday, and she said she saw my dad at a family get together on the 4th, and that he kept talking to her about how he goes out all the time now and meets women, and she thought it was creepy hearing him talk about anyone other than my mom. ((Sigh)) Now I think I'm gonna have to have a talk with him. But what do I say?? I don't want to come off as judgmental, or accusatory, but...I'm seriously worried about him. I know my dad. He doesn't like to be alone. Not to mention he's a good looking guy. Especially for his age. You would never think he's in his early 50's. He doesn't look a day over 40! Both my parents look very young for their age actually, so I guess I have that to look forward to. But anyway! I'm afraid my dad is gonna take up with the first money-grubbing skeaze that gives him a compliment. And I definitely don't want that to happen. Part of me wishes I was still in Houston so I could really scope out this situation. I am going to be there next month. Maybe I can convince him to bring me out with his new "friends"...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Ok everybody, I don't how to make this any more clear! Lol.
I HAVE been posting EVERY DAY! In fact, today I posted twice!! But these posts are being posted on the actual date they were written!! Which is mostly in JUNE! So they are going to be BEFORE this one, and the other 2 you guys have been commenting on.
So I'm going to make this as easy as possible.
HERE is a link to June!!! Click on it, and read to your heart's content!
If you still can't find the posts, comment on this one and I will respond to you.
:)
I HAVE been posting EVERY DAY! In fact, today I posted twice!! But these posts are being posted on the actual date they were written!! Which is mostly in JUNE! So they are going to be BEFORE this one, and the other 2 you guys have been commenting on.
So I'm going to make this as easy as possible.
HERE is a link to June!!! Click on it, and read to your heart's content!
If you still can't find the posts, comment on this one and I will respond to you.
:)
Discouraged
So Lane texted me today asking if I would do headshots for him. And of course I said yes. He got an audition for the lead role in some play, so he needs them ASAP. So we chatted about that for a bit, and then made plans to meet before the show, so we could talk about it.
So when I went to meet him, expecting it to just be the 2 of us, Will was there. Which was fine, cuz I love Will, I just...wasn't expecting him to be there. And Lane acted weird and standoffish AGAIN tonight. We all went out for one drink, but there was this other girl with us, I can't even remember her name. She was nice, and cute, with plastic framed glasses. But it just seemed like our whole dynamic was sort of thrown, cuz I didn't know her, and neither did Will I don't think. Or maybe he did, I dunno. But we met up with her friends afterwards, and none of us knew them. And they were all wasted.
So we're sitting at the table with them, and Lane was talking to one of the guys, and to that girl, but he wasn't paying all that much attention to me, and I was starting to get really discouraged. So when Will said he was heading out, I said I would go with him. So he and I took the train together. We both get off at the same stop. And the whole time I wanted so badly to ask him about Lane! You know, to get the dets, and see if he knows anything that I don't. But I didn't have the guts to bring it up, and I wasn't even sure if he knew anything about Lane and I.
But when I got home, I saw that Will was on FB chat, so I messaged him and came clean. He said Lane never told him anything, but that he suspected. He didn't have any info for me though, just that he knows Lane has had a really strange week. ((Sigh))
I'm just feeling like I should walk away now, before this gets worse. I'm not really getting any encouraging signals from Lane at this point, and I don't wanna go out on a limb and get shot down. That would just...really fuck me up right now and I don't think I could deal with it.
So for now, I'm putting on the brakes with Lane. I'm just going to wait and see what happens. He is going to have to make the next move, and it's going to have to be a big one because I'm done. I'm done flirting, done texting, done playing Words With Friends with him, done cleaning my room and making my bed in the hopes that he'll come over later. I'm just done trying.
I'm not gonna lie though, I'm sad.
So when I went to meet him, expecting it to just be the 2 of us, Will was there. Which was fine, cuz I love Will, I just...wasn't expecting him to be there. And Lane acted weird and standoffish AGAIN tonight. We all went out for one drink, but there was this other girl with us, I can't even remember her name. She was nice, and cute, with plastic framed glasses. But it just seemed like our whole dynamic was sort of thrown, cuz I didn't know her, and neither did Will I don't think. Or maybe he did, I dunno. But we met up with her friends afterwards, and none of us knew them. And they were all wasted.
So we're sitting at the table with them, and Lane was talking to one of the guys, and to that girl, but he wasn't paying all that much attention to me, and I was starting to get really discouraged. So when Will said he was heading out, I said I would go with him. So he and I took the train together. We both get off at the same stop. And the whole time I wanted so badly to ask him about Lane! You know, to get the dets, and see if he knows anything that I don't. But I didn't have the guts to bring it up, and I wasn't even sure if he knew anything about Lane and I.
But when I got home, I saw that Will was on FB chat, so I messaged him and came clean. He said Lane never told him anything, but that he suspected. He didn't have any info for me though, just that he knows Lane has had a really strange week. ((Sigh))
I'm just feeling like I should walk away now, before this gets worse. I'm not really getting any encouraging signals from Lane at this point, and I don't wanna go out on a limb and get shot down. That would just...really fuck me up right now and I don't think I could deal with it.
So for now, I'm putting on the brakes with Lane. I'm just going to wait and see what happens. He is going to have to make the next move, and it's going to have to be a big one because I'm done. I'm done flirting, done texting, done playing Words With Friends with him, done cleaning my room and making my bed in the hopes that he'll come over later. I'm just done trying.
I'm not gonna lie though, I'm sad.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Fail.
Well tonight's improv class kind of sucked. Mainly because I was looking forward to it so much, for a couple of reasons...
1) We didn't have class last week, cuz of the holiday
2) I would finally get to see Lane since he was out of town all weekend
3) I was sure we would be going out again afterwards for another night of debauchery, followed by (hopefully) some more making out and a possible sleepover
Well, Lane was there, of course, but he seemed really...strange. Just not himself, I guess. And I was trying to not be weird myself, since it was the first class we had since we started...whatever we're doing. And I swore to him (and myself) it wouldn't be weird between us. So I made it a point to talk to him and Will during the short break we had, and I sat next to him at some point, but I could just tell there was something wrong. He wasn't being his normal, upbeat, outgoing self. So naturally, I thought maybe it was something to do with me. Maybe after spending a little time apart over the last week, he decided he just wanted to stay friends, and he wasn't really that interested? Or maybe he reconnected with an old girlfriend back home, or maybe he just met someone new...?! ((Sigh))
All these thoughts ended up being a terrible distraction for me during class, so I totally sucked today. And that pisses me off because I never wanted our relationship (or whatever you wanna call it) to affect class! In ANY way! Especially not my performance. Ugh...
Anyway, after class, everybody stayed at the theater to watch a show, so I assumed we'd be going out later as usual. So we all convened outside when the show ended.
"So what's the plan guys?" I asked cheerfully.
"I gotta go home. Gotta get up in the morning." Will said.
"Yea, I think I'm gonna peace out too. I just don't wanna drink tonight." Lane chimed in.
"Really??" I said, genuinely shocked.
"Yea, I have an interview tomorrow, and I my weekend was just..." He sort of trailed off.
"Oooookay then." I said, trying to hide my disappointment.
"I just need to give my wallet a break during the week. And we're gonna go to the show tomorrow night, if you're interested." He recovered.
"Yea, sure. Just...text me tomorrow and let me know what's up."
So Will and Lane left, and I hung back for a minute before heading home myself. As I walked, I couldn't stop analyzing everything Lane had said and done. He was distracted and distant all night, quiet, brooding almost, and not up for drinks. SOOO NOT like him.
So I decided to shoot him a text. When I pulled out my phone, I saw that I already had a message, from Will.
"Sorry to be captain buzzkill", it said.
I laughed and wrote back, "You should be! Now EVERYONE is going home!!!"
Then I wrote a message to Lane that said, "Dude are you ok? You seemed...I dunno. Weird."
A minute later I got a response.
"Umm I am feeling a little weird but I'm gonna try to shake it off. This weekend was weird for me."
"Awe, how come?" I asked, trying not to seem like I was prying, but still concerned.
"It's hard to explain and everyone keeps advising me not to get so distraught about it." He responded.
"Distraught? That's a good word. I think you might have actually talked to me a little bit about this that night you were drunk, but everyone deals with shit in their own way."
"I did? Oh shit, what did I say?"
"Lol, relax! You didn't say anything terrible. You were majorly ADD when we were talking so you kept going off on random tangents, but you told me about your friends from high school, some chick and her bf who hate you because they're jealous and think you're copying them or something, and how your friends from home keep spreading your shit around, and you're sick of it. Am I right?"
"Oh yea, that's all true. That's not really what got to me though. It was more family related and not inherently bad which is why it's hard to explain."
"Hmmm...very cryptic. Ok well...I honestly don't know what to say, but if you wanna talk, I'm a good listener, and if you don't, that's cool too. Whatevs."
"Yea, I'm not ready to talk on this yet but I appreciate it. Ebb and flow. I'll come around."
So, I feel pretty good about how that conversation ended. I mean, I know it's not me anymore for one. And he knows I care, but I'm not gonna pester him for info if he doesn't wanna share. So I just let him know that I'm willing to listen when he's ready to talk.
That's good, right? God, I'm so rusty at this shit. Lol. But if anyone knows anything about family bullshit, it's me. Ugh...
Well, hopefully he'll be feeling more like himself tomorrow when we meet up for the show. But what really sucks is...
1) I wasted a really cute outfit
2) I cleaned my room AND MADE MY BED, cuz I figured he would be coming over! Well, all I had to do to clean was sweep, but still...
3) I shaved my legs
AND FOR WHAT?!? I guess you can never really plan for anything. Nothing is ever easy.
1) We didn't have class last week, cuz of the holiday
2) I would finally get to see Lane since he was out of town all weekend
3) I was sure we would be going out again afterwards for another night of debauchery, followed by (hopefully) some more making out and a possible sleepover
Well, Lane was there, of course, but he seemed really...strange. Just not himself, I guess. And I was trying to not be weird myself, since it was the first class we had since we started...whatever we're doing. And I swore to him (and myself) it wouldn't be weird between us. So I made it a point to talk to him and Will during the short break we had, and I sat next to him at some point, but I could just tell there was something wrong. He wasn't being his normal, upbeat, outgoing self. So naturally, I thought maybe it was something to do with me. Maybe after spending a little time apart over the last week, he decided he just wanted to stay friends, and he wasn't really that interested? Or maybe he reconnected with an old girlfriend back home, or maybe he just met someone new...?! ((Sigh))
All these thoughts ended up being a terrible distraction for me during class, so I totally sucked today. And that pisses me off because I never wanted our relationship (or whatever you wanna call it) to affect class! In ANY way! Especially not my performance. Ugh...
Anyway, after class, everybody stayed at the theater to watch a show, so I assumed we'd be going out later as usual. So we all convened outside when the show ended.
"So what's the plan guys?" I asked cheerfully.
"I gotta go home. Gotta get up in the morning." Will said.
"Yea, I think I'm gonna peace out too. I just don't wanna drink tonight." Lane chimed in.
"Really??" I said, genuinely shocked.
"Yea, I have an interview tomorrow, and I my weekend was just..." He sort of trailed off.
"Oooookay then." I said, trying to hide my disappointment.
"I just need to give my wallet a break during the week. And we're gonna go to the show tomorrow night, if you're interested." He recovered.
"Yea, sure. Just...text me tomorrow and let me know what's up."
So Will and Lane left, and I hung back for a minute before heading home myself. As I walked, I couldn't stop analyzing everything Lane had said and done. He was distracted and distant all night, quiet, brooding almost, and not up for drinks. SOOO NOT like him.
So I decided to shoot him a text. When I pulled out my phone, I saw that I already had a message, from Will.
"Sorry to be captain buzzkill", it said.
I laughed and wrote back, "You should be! Now EVERYONE is going home!!!"
Then I wrote a message to Lane that said, "Dude are you ok? You seemed...I dunno. Weird."
A minute later I got a response.
"Umm I am feeling a little weird but I'm gonna try to shake it off. This weekend was weird for me."
"Awe, how come?" I asked, trying not to seem like I was prying, but still concerned.
"It's hard to explain and everyone keeps advising me not to get so distraught about it." He responded.
"Distraught? That's a good word. I think you might have actually talked to me a little bit about this that night you were drunk, but everyone deals with shit in their own way."
"I did? Oh shit, what did I say?"
"Lol, relax! You didn't say anything terrible. You were majorly ADD when we were talking so you kept going off on random tangents, but you told me about your friends from high school, some chick and her bf who hate you because they're jealous and think you're copying them or something, and how your friends from home keep spreading your shit around, and you're sick of it. Am I right?"
"Oh yea, that's all true. That's not really what got to me though. It was more family related and not inherently bad which is why it's hard to explain."
"Hmmm...very cryptic. Ok well...I honestly don't know what to say, but if you wanna talk, I'm a good listener, and if you don't, that's cool too. Whatevs."
"Yea, I'm not ready to talk on this yet but I appreciate it. Ebb and flow. I'll come around."
So, I feel pretty good about how that conversation ended. I mean, I know it's not me anymore for one. And he knows I care, but I'm not gonna pester him for info if he doesn't wanna share. So I just let him know that I'm willing to listen when he's ready to talk.
That's good, right? God, I'm so rusty at this shit. Lol. But if anyone knows anything about family bullshit, it's me. Ugh...
Well, hopefully he'll be feeling more like himself tomorrow when we meet up for the show. But what really sucks is...
1) I wasted a really cute outfit
2) I cleaned my room AND MADE MY BED, cuz I figured he would be coming over! Well, all I had to do to clean was sweep, but still...
3) I shaved my legs
AND FOR WHAT?!? I guess you can never really plan for anything. Nothing is ever easy.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Today Sucked
Well today started out pretty awesome, and ended pretty horribly. Jenni and I went to the lake this afternoon, and I brought my old mermaid tail that I used for photoshoots, cuz she wanted to see me swim in it. Lol. So I brought my waterproof camera, a bottled water, my beach bag, and a book. You know, the usual...
Well as soon as we got in the water with my camera, something happened to it and it stopped working! Water somehow got in the screen and the lens, which shouldn't even be possible because it's a WATERPROOF CAMERA! And I've taken it swimming countless times! I've had it for years! Ugh...
So we get out of the water, to take a look at my camera, and I'm rummaging through my bag when I notice that EVERYTHING in there is WET. Including my phone!!!!! WHICH NOW ALSO NO LONGER WORKS!!!! Ughhhh.... Somehow the cap came off my water bottle and spilled all over everything.
So I took my phone and my camera apart and laid them out in the sun to dry. The phone still turns on and everything, but it's an HTC with a touch screen, and the touch screen no longer works. So it's pretty much useless. ((Sigh))
And my day just continues to get better...
On our way home from the lake, we stopped at Starbucks, because I was so thirsty. And while we were waiting for our drinks, I set down the bag with my mermaid tail, and LEFT IT THERE.
And I didn't realize it until much later, and they're already closed. So now I have my alarm set for 5:30am when they open, so I can call and see if they still have it. They better still have it!
Oh, and my shoulders are sunburned, even though I was wearing SPF50.
How could this day possibly get any worse?!?!?!??!?!
((Sigh)) The one good thing about today was I woke up thinking about Lane. Lol. He had texted me around 1am the night before. Here's our convo...
Lane: I'm at a typical skeaze bar
Me: Oh, so you miss me, huh? Lane: Is that what that translated to? Me: No, that would be me being a smartass. I thought you'd be used to it by now. Lol.
Lane: It wasn't false
Me: Well how dare you go to a skeaze bar without me?!
Lane: I was thinking the same
Lane: Super skeazy
Lane: Oh man, does this mean I'm thinking of you?
Me: I miss you too
Lane: I hate coming home for some reasons that I should share at some point
Me: Uh oh...lol. How come?
Lane: I might call you to explain
Me: Well you better do it soon then, or I might fall asleep
Lane: Just relax
[I literally laughed out loud at this]
Me: I am very relaxed at the moment. Lol.
So then he called, and we ended up talking for a little over an hour. He was kind of drunk at the time, so our conversation was erratic at best, but I gotta give him credit. He carries the best drunk conversation of anyone I know. He spoke very clearly and concisely and nothing he said was confusing. He was just all over the place! I didn't have to do much talking at all, actually. Although I don't think he ever really got to why he hates going home...
Well as soon as we got in the water with my camera, something happened to it and it stopped working! Water somehow got in the screen and the lens, which shouldn't even be possible because it's a WATERPROOF CAMERA! And I've taken it swimming countless times! I've had it for years! Ugh...
So we get out of the water, to take a look at my camera, and I'm rummaging through my bag when I notice that EVERYTHING in there is WET. Including my phone!!!!! WHICH NOW ALSO NO LONGER WORKS!!!! Ughhhh.... Somehow the cap came off my water bottle and spilled all over everything.
So I took my phone and my camera apart and laid them out in the sun to dry. The phone still turns on and everything, but it's an HTC with a touch screen, and the touch screen no longer works. So it's pretty much useless. ((Sigh))
And my day just continues to get better...
On our way home from the lake, we stopped at Starbucks, because I was so thirsty. And while we were waiting for our drinks, I set down the bag with my mermaid tail, and LEFT IT THERE.
And I didn't realize it until much later, and they're already closed. So now I have my alarm set for 5:30am when they open, so I can call and see if they still have it. They better still have it!
Oh, and my shoulders are sunburned, even though I was wearing SPF50.
How could this day possibly get any worse?!?!?!??!?!
((Sigh)) The one good thing about today was I woke up thinking about Lane. Lol. He had texted me around 1am the night before. Here's our convo...
Lane: I'm at a typical skeaze bar
Me: Oh, so you miss me, huh? Lane: Is that what that translated to? Me: No, that would be me being a smartass. I thought you'd be used to it by now. Lol.
Lane: It wasn't false
Me: Well how dare you go to a skeaze bar without me?!
Lane: I was thinking the same
Lane: Super skeazy
Lane: Oh man, does this mean I'm thinking of you?
Me: I miss you too
Lane: I hate coming home for some reasons that I should share at some point
Me: Uh oh...lol. How come?
Lane: I might call you to explain
Me: Well you better do it soon then, or I might fall asleep
Lane: Just relax
[I literally laughed out loud at this]
Me: I am very relaxed at the moment. Lol.
So then he called, and we ended up talking for a little over an hour. He was kind of drunk at the time, so our conversation was erratic at best, but I gotta give him credit. He carries the best drunk conversation of anyone I know. He spoke very clearly and concisely and nothing he said was confusing. He was just all over the place! I didn't have to do much talking at all, actually. Although I don't think he ever really got to why he hates going home...
Friday, July 8, 2011
Where To Draw The Line
Ok, I really feel like I'm starting to go crazy! Lane is in St. Louis for the weekend, and I haven't seen him since he left the morning after the 4th. ((Sigh))
All I keep thinking about is, "What's he thinking about? Is he thinking about me? I hope he's thinking about me."
I had a long conversation with my old friend, Nick, on the phone the other night about him. I'm just...still trying to figure him out I guess. I mean, I just want to know if he really likes me, and wants actually date me, or if this is just a matter of what's convenient. Nick says I should just flat out ask him what he wants out of this. I don't know if I can do that though. I still think it's too soon. But I just can't stop over analyzing and obsessing! Especially now that he's gone. The idea of going through this weekend without seeing him is such a drag!
But here's the kicker.
The big thing I purposely haven't told any of you...
He's only twenty-two!!!! ((Sigh)) I didn't know he was that young when I first decided I was into him! I thought he was at least twenty-five! He doesn't look or act young, although it does sort of explain his job situation, or lack thereof. It's just...I don't feel like a guy his age could possibly want the same things I do. And as much as I like him, I'm afraid that if I really get involved with him, I could be missing out on other guys, who are more...suitable?
I dunno... It's just that I had all these requirements...he has to have a good job, a good education, be taller than me, be older than me, not be a douche, not have any kids, not have tons of baggage...which, actually Lane meets all of those except the job and the age. ((Sigh)) So where do I draw the line?? Do I just say "Fuck it!" and go for it, or should I stop now before it's too late??? Should I even be worrying about this right now??? I mean, I'm having so much fun, and I finally feel like I really belong here. I don't wanna lose that. And I don't want things to get weird between Lane and I because if it doesn't work out between us, I'd like us to remain friends, if at all possible. But the thing is, I think I do want it to work out!
But I definitely said I'd never date a 22 year old that night we went to JJ's house. And he heard me say it. So what if he thinks he doesn't have a chance? What if he thinks I'm just out to have a good time, no strings attached? I'm not gonna lie, it may have started out that way, me just doing whatever I felt like doing, but now it's more than that. I just don't know if I can get past his age. I swore to myself after Rusty that I'd never date another guy that's younger than me. But he's nothing like Rusty!
He's sweet, and funny, and considerate, and kind, and I'm attracted to him, and we have amazing conversations, and I love kissing him, and I think about him all the time, and I miss him when he's gone... So what do I do??
All I keep thinking about is, "What's he thinking about? Is he thinking about me? I hope he's thinking about me."
I had a long conversation with my old friend, Nick, on the phone the other night about him. I'm just...still trying to figure him out I guess. I mean, I just want to know if he really likes me, and wants actually date me, or if this is just a matter of what's convenient. Nick says I should just flat out ask him what he wants out of this. I don't know if I can do that though. I still think it's too soon. But I just can't stop over analyzing and obsessing! Especially now that he's gone. The idea of going through this weekend without seeing him is such a drag!
But here's the kicker.
The big thing I purposely haven't told any of you...
He's only twenty-two!!!! ((Sigh)) I didn't know he was that young when I first decided I was into him! I thought he was at least twenty-five! He doesn't look or act young, although it does sort of explain his job situation, or lack thereof. It's just...I don't feel like a guy his age could possibly want the same things I do. And as much as I like him, I'm afraid that if I really get involved with him, I could be missing out on other guys, who are more...suitable?
I dunno... It's just that I had all these requirements...he has to have a good job, a good education, be taller than me, be older than me, not be a douche, not have any kids, not have tons of baggage...which, actually Lane meets all of those except the job and the age. ((Sigh)) So where do I draw the line?? Do I just say "Fuck it!" and go for it, or should I stop now before it's too late??? Should I even be worrying about this right now??? I mean, I'm having so much fun, and I finally feel like I really belong here. I don't wanna lose that. And I don't want things to get weird between Lane and I because if it doesn't work out between us, I'd like us to remain friends, if at all possible. But the thing is, I think I do want it to work out!
But I definitely said I'd never date a 22 year old that night we went to JJ's house. And he heard me say it. So what if he thinks he doesn't have a chance? What if he thinks I'm just out to have a good time, no strings attached? I'm not gonna lie, it may have started out that way, me just doing whatever I felt like doing, but now it's more than that. I just don't know if I can get past his age. I swore to myself after Rusty that I'd never date another guy that's younger than me. But he's nothing like Rusty!
He's sweet, and funny, and considerate, and kind, and I'm attracted to him, and we have amazing conversations, and I love kissing him, and I think about him all the time, and I miss him when he's gone... So what do I do??
I can't stop thinking about him...
I bet you wanna know who! Keep your eyes on the blog, guys! I know I haven't posted in a while, but I HAVE been blogging! I just haven't gone public yet. But I'm going to post a blog a day until we're all caught up! Comment if you've seen this, so I know I still have readers!! :D
Love,
Peyton
I bet you wanna know who! Keep your eyes on the blog, guys! I know I haven't posted in a while, but I HAVE been blogging! I just haven't gone public yet. But I'm going to post a blog a day until we're all caught up! Comment if you've seen this, so I know I still have readers!! :D
Love,
Peyton
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
4th of July
On Monday I woke up well rested after an entire Saturday of doing nothing. I worked Sunday, and it was absolutely insane, which was great, since I just paid my rent. Now I'm officially broke though after yesterday...
So anyway, I texted Will, Bruce, and Lane when I woke up around...3pm. Lol. Bruce said he and Max were going to the Sox game and invited me to join. So I asked Lane and Will if they were down, and we all decided to go. So I hurried to get ready, and hopped the train to meet the guys. Lane brought his friend Travis with him, who was surprisingly good looking, but he seriously needed to brush his teeth. It grossed me out for like the whole day. But anyway! Lol. I brought a couple flask-sized bottles of liquor with me so that we wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for drinks. I cannot go to a baseball game without sitting in the nosebleeds and getting drunk. It just wouldn't feel right! Lol. So that's exactly what we all did. And the Sox won. Not that I'm a fan or anything, but hey. The fireworks were awesome too!
Afterwards, we all caught the train together and headed back towards home. I stuck a sign on Bruce's back that said, "I like it in the pooper". Hehe. It didn't take him too long to figure it out though. Only the whole walk from the park to the train. Lol.
We ended up at this dive bar that I've never been to before. It was full of old people. Haha. But they had $2 shots of Ice Hole, which is cheap imitation Rumpleminz, which is AWFUL! Lol. But I drank 2 shots of it anyway, cuz that's what the guys bought me. I can't remember how long we stayed there, but it wasn't late. Bruce and Max left, cuz Bruce had to work in the morning, of course. So me, Will and Lane headed to Crows again. We always end up there, it seems! I can't remember when Will left, but he did, and then it was just me, Lane and his friend, Travis.
We eventually tired of Crows, so we walked down the street to another bar called Reynold's, which was much nicer, and had a great liquor selection and a really friendly bartender. That's one thing I'll say for Crows. They have THE WEIRDEST bartenders I've ever met. Lol.
I realize I've been drinking a lot lately, and sometimes I feel I'm being just plane irresponsible, but then I stop and think, "Hey! It's summer, and I'm having fun, and I actually am being responsible, all things considered!" I'm just drinking a lot more than usual. Lol.
So we're at Reynold's and Travis is trying to pick up some chick, but I doubt he was having much luck with all that crap in his teeth. Haha. When it was time to go, I asked Lane if he had to go home that night.
"Well...Travis is staying with me..."
"So? He's a big boy." I teased.
"Well...let me ask him if he's going home with this chick or what."
"I doubt it." I said. Lol.
When he came back, he said he worked everything out with Travis, and gave him his keys, and no, the girl wasn't taking him home. Haha.
So Lane and I grabbed a cab and headed back to my place.
I remember practically force-feeding him pizza, and putting a movie in, and getting into bed. And then I remember things getting pretty hot and heavy. Lots of making out, grinding, and heavy petting, and the removal of both of our shirts. But I was still wearing a sports bra! When he tried to go the 3rd base (he completely skipped 2nd! Lol), I stopped him.
I am not going to sleep with him. Not any time soon (I don't think!). Especially not when we're both drunk. So we stopped there. Although he did convince me to take off my bra, so he could more easily rub my back. Hehe. But it felt so good! I can never say no to a backrub before bed! Ahhh...
So this time, I snuggled up to him, and we fell asleep. :)
So anyway, I texted Will, Bruce, and Lane when I woke up around...3pm. Lol. Bruce said he and Max were going to the Sox game and invited me to join. So I asked Lane and Will if they were down, and we all decided to go. So I hurried to get ready, and hopped the train to meet the guys. Lane brought his friend Travis with him, who was surprisingly good looking, but he seriously needed to brush his teeth. It grossed me out for like the whole day. But anyway! Lol. I brought a couple flask-sized bottles of liquor with me so that we wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for drinks. I cannot go to a baseball game without sitting in the nosebleeds and getting drunk. It just wouldn't feel right! Lol. So that's exactly what we all did. And the Sox won. Not that I'm a fan or anything, but hey. The fireworks were awesome too!
Afterwards, we all caught the train together and headed back towards home. I stuck a sign on Bruce's back that said, "I like it in the pooper". Hehe. It didn't take him too long to figure it out though. Only the whole walk from the park to the train. Lol.
We ended up at this dive bar that I've never been to before. It was full of old people. Haha. But they had $2 shots of Ice Hole, which is cheap imitation Rumpleminz, which is AWFUL! Lol. But I drank 2 shots of it anyway, cuz that's what the guys bought me. I can't remember how long we stayed there, but it wasn't late. Bruce and Max left, cuz Bruce had to work in the morning, of course. So me, Will and Lane headed to Crows again. We always end up there, it seems! I can't remember when Will left, but he did, and then it was just me, Lane and his friend, Travis.
We eventually tired of Crows, so we walked down the street to another bar called Reynold's, which was much nicer, and had a great liquor selection and a really friendly bartender. That's one thing I'll say for Crows. They have THE WEIRDEST bartenders I've ever met. Lol.
I realize I've been drinking a lot lately, and sometimes I feel I'm being just plane irresponsible, but then I stop and think, "Hey! It's summer, and I'm having fun, and I actually am being responsible, all things considered!" I'm just drinking a lot more than usual. Lol.
So we're at Reynold's and Travis is trying to pick up some chick, but I doubt he was having much luck with all that crap in his teeth. Haha. When it was time to go, I asked Lane if he had to go home that night.
"Well...Travis is staying with me..."
"So? He's a big boy." I teased.
"Well...let me ask him if he's going home with this chick or what."
"I doubt it." I said. Lol.
When he came back, he said he worked everything out with Travis, and gave him his keys, and no, the girl wasn't taking him home. Haha.
So Lane and I grabbed a cab and headed back to my place.
I remember practically force-feeding him pizza, and putting a movie in, and getting into bed. And then I remember things getting pretty hot and heavy. Lots of making out, grinding, and heavy petting, and the removal of both of our shirts. But I was still wearing a sports bra! When he tried to go the 3rd base (he completely skipped 2nd! Lol), I stopped him.
I am not going to sleep with him. Not any time soon (I don't think!). Especially not when we're both drunk. So we stopped there. Although he did convince me to take off my bra, so he could more easily rub my back. Hehe. But it felt so good! I can never say no to a backrub before bed! Ahhh...
So this time, I snuggled up to him, and we fell asleep. :)
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I Haven't Done This In A While!
Last night was AWESOME SAUCE! First of all, I haven't been out on a Friday night in a looooong time. And I was determined to enjoy it! Lane, Bruce and I had plans to go to a show at the theater. We get into most of the shows for free with our student IDs, so we all take advantage of it.
So I put on my black Rock & Republic skinny jeans, black wedge pumps, and a light blue tunic, and headed out, (with flip flops in my purse, just in case lol). Here's a picture of my outfit, just so you get the idea...
Needless to say, I was taller than all the boys, but no one seemed to mind. And it felt so good to strut my stuff after so long. Lol. So I met Lane at the theater, and we were supposed to meet Bruce there too, but he missed his train, and promised to meet us afterwards. So Lane and I got seats near the back, cuz it was pretty crowded. As I was walking, I totally caught him looking me up and down. It was the first time he'd really seen me decked out, and to be honest, I didn't think I was really decked out. Just...dressed up a little. ;)
The way we were sitting, we had to turn to the right to face the stage, so he ended up a little bit behind me. And the whole time I was super self conscious, wondering if he was looking at me or not. And I couldn't steal any glances at him without being totally obvious, so it was actually rather awkward for me. I mean, we were watching a show, so we couldn't talk. And to be honest, it wasn't that great as far as shows there go. Not the best one I've seen anyway. So when it ended, I was really relieved to get out of there!
We decided to head back to The Ginger Man, and Bruce and Will met us there. Bruce brought a friend of his along too, a really tall guy, with gorgeous blue eyes, named Max. I'm not gonna lie, it felt great being the only girl. And not because I worry about competition, it was just nice to be surrounded by so many guys! Haha.
So the drinking commenced, and when Ginger Man closed, we headed to Crows. We ordered another round, and pretty soon I needed to take a trip to the ladies. While I was waiting in line, sitting on a stool, a strange short guy in a french cap came up and started talking to (read: annoying) me. I humored him, since I was in good spirits, and I learned that he was from Canada, visiting. Being that it was 2 days before the 4th, I teased him a bit. Then he shamelessly hit on me. I asked him if he wanted to take a shot with me, which he interpreted as me asking him to buy me a drink, so when I came back from the bathroom, he'd already latched himself onto some other poor girl. Darn!
When I got back to the guys, they started teasing me about getting hit on while waiting for the bathroom, and I told them the story. This somehow evolved into them daring me to call him out and cause a scene. And being drunk, and never one to turn down a dare, I approached him. He was sitting at the bar next to a girl, who clearly looked disinterested.
"Uh...excuse me?" I said, "I'm gone for 5 minutes and I come back to find you already with some other girl? I thought you were into me!"
He stammered and looked shocked. The girl looked confused.
"Fine. I see how it is. I see what kind of guy you are. Well have fun with her!" I said and stormed off. I burst into a fit of giggles as soon as my back was turned. The guys high fived me, surreptitiously of course. A couple minutes later, the girl he'd been talking to walked up to me.
"Hey, were you serious back there or...?"
I laughed, "NO! Ohmygod, that guy is a total skeaze! I was just fucking with him cuz I thought it'd be funny." I explained.
"Ohhh!" She laughed and looked relieved.
"Ohmygod! He's coming!" I whispered as I saw him approaching, "Play along!"
The girl winked.
"You are such a fucking slut! You just swoop in as soon as I leave!" I started yelling.
"Bitch! I did NOT steal your man!"
At that moment, I stood up off my stool, and was towering over her in my heels.
"Bitch! I will STEP ON YOU!" It was all I could do not to bust out laughing. The Canadian guy looked like he was in a state of shock with ill contained flattery.
"Whatever, skank! I'm Mexican! I'll kick your ass!" The girl yelled back.
Right then, her friend, who had no clue we were just acting, came up and pushed us apart. We were nose to nose by this point. So Will jumped in and acted like he was holding me back, while the girl dragged her friend off to explain. The Canadian guy immediately ran off to tell his friends what just happened.
When I turned around, the guys were doubled over and we were all reduced to tears of laughter.
For the rest of the night, I had to avoid the Canadian guy's glance or I'd start laughing again. At 4am, they finally kicked us out of the bar. While we were standing outside, trying to hail a cab, the Canadian guy came up to me and asked me to go somewhere with him!
"Look dude, everything we said back there was an act. A joke! And I'm not going anywhere with you."
Just then, the girl walked by and gave me a high 5.
It.Was.Awesome!
So anyways, we hopped in a cab, and I invited everyone back to my place! Lol. Dane was at the firehouse, so I knew he wouldn't be home, and Joey has practically moved out already. So everyone came over. My room is actually clean right now, miraculously! So Max sat down at my piano and started playing, Will and Lane made themselves comfy on my bed, Bruce sat in my chair, and Jasper was going nuts! Lol. I got each of them a beer from the fridge and I have no idea what we did for the next hour. But around 8, I suggested we all go to IHOP. We were all starving, and drunk, and it was 8am, so why not??? So we walked the few blocks down to IHOP and grubbed. It was awesome. Bruce and Max got a cab, and then Will took the train, and once again...it was me and Lane. I gave him directions to the red line and we hugged goodbye and then went our separate ways. But as soon as I got home, I texted him, "Wait! Come back!" in a half-serious, half-joking way.
"Really? Is that an option? I'm not that far..." He wrote back.
"Sure, why not?" I said.
About and HOUR later, he made it here. Lol. He knocked on my bedroom door (the one that leads to the courtyard! Apparently he got lost, and couldn't remember which house it was, and his phone died. I was starting to think he just wasn't coming. But there he was, on my doorstep! Apparently he jumped the courtyard fence, since he couldn't called me. :)
I was already in my PJs, which consisted of a sports bra, t-shirt and boxers. So I got back under the covers, and he laid down next to me on top of the covers. We laid there, just talking for a while. Then my eyelids started to get heavy, so I turned off the lamp.
"Sorry," I said. "I had to turn that off, I'm starting to get really tired." It was probably 9:30am by this point.
Then he leaned over and kissed me. It was like 3 long pecks, or 3 short regular kisses. I dunno what you'd call it, but it surprised me. I didn't kiss back really the first time, cuz I was so caught off guard, but I did the second and third time. And I'm sure I was blushing! Then he laid back down.
"Well I just had to get that out of the way." He said, "Now it's gonna be weird in class."
"Why would you say that?" I asked.
"I dunno, maybe not."
"Well if it's weird, it's not gonna be because of me." I said.
Then we laid in the dark and talked some more. And he took his pants off because it was so fucking hot in my room. Lol. I eventually had to go turn the air down cuz we were both sweating. When I came back, I decided to kiss him again. Because he seemed so uncertain about the last one, I figured I should reciprocate a little more. So I did. He was under the covers this time, right next to me, and I could feel him pressed up against me. I could also feel something else, pressing up against me. Lol. He actually apologized and adjusted himself. Hahaha, what a gentleman!
Then he said, "I hope it doesn't bother you, but I like to cuddle."
And then he snuggled up to me and we went to sleep.
So I put on my black Rock & Republic skinny jeans, black wedge pumps, and a light blue tunic, and headed out, (with flip flops in my purse, just in case lol). Here's a picture of my outfit, just so you get the idea...
Needless to say, I was taller than all the boys, but no one seemed to mind. And it felt so good to strut my stuff after so long. Lol. So I met Lane at the theater, and we were supposed to meet Bruce there too, but he missed his train, and promised to meet us afterwards. So Lane and I got seats near the back, cuz it was pretty crowded. As I was walking, I totally caught him looking me up and down. It was the first time he'd really seen me decked out, and to be honest, I didn't think I was really decked out. Just...dressed up a little. ;)The way we were sitting, we had to turn to the right to face the stage, so he ended up a little bit behind me. And the whole time I was super self conscious, wondering if he was looking at me or not. And I couldn't steal any glances at him without being totally obvious, so it was actually rather awkward for me. I mean, we were watching a show, so we couldn't talk. And to be honest, it wasn't that great as far as shows there go. Not the best one I've seen anyway. So when it ended, I was really relieved to get out of there!
We decided to head back to The Ginger Man, and Bruce and Will met us there. Bruce brought a friend of his along too, a really tall guy, with gorgeous blue eyes, named Max. I'm not gonna lie, it felt great being the only girl. And not because I worry about competition, it was just nice to be surrounded by so many guys! Haha.
So the drinking commenced, and when Ginger Man closed, we headed to Crows. We ordered another round, and pretty soon I needed to take a trip to the ladies. While I was waiting in line, sitting on a stool, a strange short guy in a french cap came up and started talking to (read: annoying) me. I humored him, since I was in good spirits, and I learned that he was from Canada, visiting. Being that it was 2 days before the 4th, I teased him a bit. Then he shamelessly hit on me. I asked him if he wanted to take a shot with me, which he interpreted as me asking him to buy me a drink, so when I came back from the bathroom, he'd already latched himself onto some other poor girl. Darn!
When I got back to the guys, they started teasing me about getting hit on while waiting for the bathroom, and I told them the story. This somehow evolved into them daring me to call him out and cause a scene. And being drunk, and never one to turn down a dare, I approached him. He was sitting at the bar next to a girl, who clearly looked disinterested.
"Uh...excuse me?" I said, "I'm gone for 5 minutes and I come back to find you already with some other girl? I thought you were into me!"
He stammered and looked shocked. The girl looked confused.
"Fine. I see how it is. I see what kind of guy you are. Well have fun with her!" I said and stormed off. I burst into a fit of giggles as soon as my back was turned. The guys high fived me, surreptitiously of course. A couple minutes later, the girl he'd been talking to walked up to me.
"Hey, were you serious back there or...?"
I laughed, "NO! Ohmygod, that guy is a total skeaze! I was just fucking with him cuz I thought it'd be funny." I explained.
"Ohhh!" She laughed and looked relieved.
"Ohmygod! He's coming!" I whispered as I saw him approaching, "Play along!"
The girl winked.
"You are such a fucking slut! You just swoop in as soon as I leave!" I started yelling.
"Bitch! I did NOT steal your man!"
At that moment, I stood up off my stool, and was towering over her in my heels.
"Bitch! I will STEP ON YOU!" It was all I could do not to bust out laughing. The Canadian guy looked like he was in a state of shock with ill contained flattery.
"Whatever, skank! I'm Mexican! I'll kick your ass!" The girl yelled back.
Right then, her friend, who had no clue we were just acting, came up and pushed us apart. We were nose to nose by this point. So Will jumped in and acted like he was holding me back, while the girl dragged her friend off to explain. The Canadian guy immediately ran off to tell his friends what just happened.
When I turned around, the guys were doubled over and we were all reduced to tears of laughter.
For the rest of the night, I had to avoid the Canadian guy's glance or I'd start laughing again. At 4am, they finally kicked us out of the bar. While we were standing outside, trying to hail a cab, the Canadian guy came up to me and asked me to go somewhere with him!
"Look dude, everything we said back there was an act. A joke! And I'm not going anywhere with you."
Just then, the girl walked by and gave me a high 5.
It.Was.Awesome!
So anyways, we hopped in a cab, and I invited everyone back to my place! Lol. Dane was at the firehouse, so I knew he wouldn't be home, and Joey has practically moved out already. So everyone came over. My room is actually clean right now, miraculously! So Max sat down at my piano and started playing, Will and Lane made themselves comfy on my bed, Bruce sat in my chair, and Jasper was going nuts! Lol. I got each of them a beer from the fridge and I have no idea what we did for the next hour. But around 8, I suggested we all go to IHOP. We were all starving, and drunk, and it was 8am, so why not??? So we walked the few blocks down to IHOP and grubbed. It was awesome. Bruce and Max got a cab, and then Will took the train, and once again...it was me and Lane. I gave him directions to the red line and we hugged goodbye and then went our separate ways. But as soon as I got home, I texted him, "Wait! Come back!" in a half-serious, half-joking way.
"Really? Is that an option? I'm not that far..." He wrote back.
"Sure, why not?" I said.
About and HOUR later, he made it here. Lol. He knocked on my bedroom door (the one that leads to the courtyard! Apparently he got lost, and couldn't remember which house it was, and his phone died. I was starting to think he just wasn't coming. But there he was, on my doorstep! Apparently he jumped the courtyard fence, since he couldn't called me. :)
I was already in my PJs, which consisted of a sports bra, t-shirt and boxers. So I got back under the covers, and he laid down next to me on top of the covers. We laid there, just talking for a while. Then my eyelids started to get heavy, so I turned off the lamp.
"Sorry," I said. "I had to turn that off, I'm starting to get really tired." It was probably 9:30am by this point.
Then he leaned over and kissed me. It was like 3 long pecks, or 3 short regular kisses. I dunno what you'd call it, but it surprised me. I didn't kiss back really the first time, cuz I was so caught off guard, but I did the second and third time. And I'm sure I was blushing! Then he laid back down.
"Well I just had to get that out of the way." He said, "Now it's gonna be weird in class."
"Why would you say that?" I asked.
"I dunno, maybe not."
"Well if it's weird, it's not gonna be because of me." I said.
Then we laid in the dark and talked some more. And he took his pants off because it was so fucking hot in my room. Lol. I eventually had to go turn the air down cuz we were both sweating. When I came back, I decided to kiss him again. Because he seemed so uncertain about the last one, I figured I should reciprocate a little more. So I did. He was under the covers this time, right next to me, and I could feel him pressed up against me. I could also feel something else, pressing up against me. Lol. He actually apologized and adjusted himself. Hahaha, what a gentleman!
Then he said, "I hope it doesn't bother you, but I like to cuddle."
And then he snuggled up to me and we went to sleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)