Bill

Well the sushi party turned out to be lots of fun. There were a lot of people I didn't know, Rose's friends, but we all got along great! We took tons of saki bombs and ate sushi till our stomachs were all full. It was so much fun seeing everybody from class. Except Bill wasn't there. A couple other people noticed too and were asking around to find out where he was, so I offered to text him. This guy Jonathan gave me his number, cuz I didn't have it. When I texted him, Bill said he had a family thing to go to, and he'd meet up with us after. And he did! We all went to this bar a few blocks down from the restaurant. It was great cuz it was a laid back pub downstairs, but more like a club with loud music and a huge dance floor upstairs. We all hung out downstairs for a while, and I definitely started putting my plan into action. Plan Bill, that is. Bill and I were sitting at the bar talking when Lane walked up. He didn't really have anything to say, so I guess he just...wanted to see what we were talking about. I dunno. He left after a few minutes. I even found out that Rose has been spending some time with this other guy that was with our party. Not Lane. So that made me feel tons better. I dunno why... Eventually everybody decided to head upstairs, so Bill and I followed. Rose, some of her friends, and Lane were already on the dance floor, so we joined them. I tried to just sort of dance in the circle, not really with anyone in particular, but Bill danced with me anyways. After a while, I started to get really hot, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I told Rose I was going to sit down and cool off for a while. After I went to the bathroom I found an empty table in front of a vent and sat down. It felt amazing. I could see Bill's tall head poking out where our group was dancing. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, wondering if he'd see me. Eventually he did. He must've been looking for me. He came and sat down. We talked for a long time. I watched Rose and everybody dancing still. Then he kissed me. I can't say it was unexpected. It was bound to happen eventually. Why else would he come over here and sit with me instead of hanging out and partying with everybody else? I had to kiss him back. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss him. It just wasn't like I was dying to either. ((Sigh))
Before I realized it, everyone else from our group was gone! They thought we had left, since we'd been gone so long. So then it was just me and Bill. He tried so hard to get me to go back to his place and smoke a bowl with him. He lives just a couple blocks from the bar we were at. But I told him I had to work tomorrow, and I have a dog and I need to get home. He countered that he wasn't inviting me to spend the night. I responded that if I smoked with him, there would be a real good chance of me passing out, and I definitely didn't want that to happen. There was no way I was going home with him. It's not that he's sleazy, or that he was just trying to get me to sleep with him. Not at all. He just didn't want me to go home! He was so sweet actually... Telling me I looked beautiful, and that he always wanted to ask me for my number in class... I asked him why he never did. Maybe if he had, all that nonsense with Lane would have never happened. ((Sigh)) He said I was a good kisser, and he wants to take me out sometime.
Now I don't know what to do. I'm at home, sitting in my bed thinking, I'd be stupid not to give him a chance. For one thing, he's taller than me, even in heels! Which is rare. For another, he's smart, attractive, funny, and has a good job. But on the other hand, I feel like it might be cruel to go out with him. I mean, I could maybe talk myself into really liking him, but this all started out as just a...game. I hate to say it. But it was just a way for me to feel like I had other options, and a way for me to show Lane that I had other options. But that was stupid. Now I know that. It would have been so much better if I just showed Lane I'm perfectly happy without him and leave it at that. Now I've gone and gotten somebody else involved and it looks like he might really like me.
So what should I do??

Sushi Party

I am on my way to an all you can eat sushi party with everyone from my improv class. It was Rose's idea to wear cocktail dresses. I felt awesome when I put on my purple superbowl party dress and sequined heels, but now I'm in the cab fidgeting with my spanks and feeling super ridiculous. Lane will be there. And I still got that sneaking suspicion that he and Rose are dating. Guess I'll find out tonight. Ugh...I dunno why I'm so nervous. I'm gonna try to sit next to Bill. He's kinda cute. I'll just flirt with him all night and see what happens I guess. I'll update soon.

Mind Over Matter

Since I made the decision to stop worrying about Lane, and get on with my life, things have actually, surprisingly, been easier. Tonight, class was fun again, and I did way better than last week. Lane and I kind of avoided each other's eyes, but it wasn't like I was chatting it up with anyone else in the class. I just tried to pay attention and stick with the program, all personal feelings aside. I did have to do a one-on-one scene with Lane though, and I was super nervous, and freaking out a little, but once we got started it was like nothing had ever happened, and we were just classmates again. So that was a relief, as far as class is concerned anyway.
After class a group of us went out for dinner and beers, like we used to, and it actually seemed like things might be getting back to normal. In the end it was me, Rose (who recently broke things off with JJ), Lane and Will. So pretty much the usual group. We only stayed till about 11:30 and then we all went home. Will left us at the stop light, and I walked with Rose and Langston, since their train stop was on the way to my house. When we got to the train, I started to say my goodbyes.

"Wait, where are you going?" Lane asked, looking a little confused.

"Home..." I said.

"On the train?" He asked.

"No, I live like 2 blocks from here." I said, giving him a look that clearly said, "Remember??"

"Ohhhh, right." He laughed almost uncomfortably, "Well Will and I are going to the show again tomorrow night if you wanna go."

"Of course you are." I teased. They both have idolizing crushes on the guy-girl improv duo that performs every Tuesday.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow," Rose said, "Do you wanna go?" She looked at me expectantly.

I was actually planning to skip tomorrow, just to put some distance between Lane and I, but instead I agreed, not wanting to be left out should everyone decide to actually do something tomorrow night.
So I guess I'm meeting them tomorrow night at the theater. Still not really sold on it though. I would almost rather just hang out at home and save money, than spend an awkward 2 hours with Lane, trying to decide how I should act. ((Sigh)) Oh well. I guess I'd rather us get through the awkward phase and just go back to how things were sooner than later. Mind over matter.

4th of July

On Monday I woke up well rested after an entire Saturday of doing nothing. I worked Sunday, and it was absolutely insane, which was great, since I just paid my rent. Now I'm officially broke though after yesterday...
So anyway, I texted Will, Bruce, and Lane when I woke up around...3pm. Lol. Bruce said he and Max were going to the Sox game and invited me to join. So I asked Lane and Will if they were down, and we all decided to go. So I hurried to get ready, and hopped the train to meet the guys. Lane brought his friend Travis with him, who was surprisingly good looking, but he seriously needed to brush his teeth. It grossed me out for like the whole day. But anyway! Lol. I brought a couple flask-sized bottles of liquor with me so that we wouldn't have to pay an arm and a leg for drinks. I cannot go to a baseball game without sitting in the nosebleeds and getting drunk. It just wouldn't feel right! Lol. So that's exactly what we all did. And the Sox won. Not that I'm a fan or anything, but hey. The fireworks were awesome too!
Afterwards, we all caught the train together and headed back towards home. I stuck a sign on Bruce's back that said, "I like it in the pooper". Hehe. It didn't take him too long to figure it out though. Only the whole walk from the park to the train. Lol.
We ended up at this dive bar that I've never been to before. It was full of old people. Haha. But they had $2 shots of Ice Hole, which is cheap imitation Rumpleminz, which is AWFUL! Lol. But I drank 2 shots of it anyway, cuz that's what the guys bought me. I can't remember how long we stayed there, but it wasn't late. Bruce and Max left, cuz Bruce had to work in the morning, of course. So me, Will and Lane headed to Crows again. We always end up there, it seems! I can't remember when Will left, but he did, and then it was just me, Lane and his friend, Travis.
We eventually tired of Crows, so we walked down the street to another bar called Reynold's, which was much nicer, and had a great liquor selection and a really friendly bartender. That's one thing I'll say for Crows. They have THE WEIRDEST bartenders I've ever met. Lol.
I realize I've been drinking a lot lately, and sometimes I feel I'm being just plane irresponsible, but then I stop and think, "Hey! It's summer, and I'm having fun, and I actually am being responsible, all things considered!" I'm just drinking a lot more than usual. Lol.
So we're at Reynold's and Travis is trying to pick up some chick, but I doubt he was having much luck with all that crap in his teeth. Haha. When it was time to go, I asked Lane if he had to go home that night.

"Well...Travis is staying with me..."

"So? He's a big boy." I teased.

"Well...let me ask him if he's going home with this chick or what."

"I doubt it." I said. Lol.

When he came back, he said he worked everything out with Travis, and gave him his keys, and no, the girl wasn't taking him home. Haha.
So Lane and I grabbed a cab and headed back to my place.
I remember practically force-feeding him pizza, and putting a movie in, and getting into bed. And then I remember things getting pretty hot and heavy. Lots of making out, grinding, and heavy petting, and the removal of both of our shirts. But I was still wearing a sports bra! When he tried to go the 3rd base (he completely skipped 2nd! Lol), I stopped him.
I am not going to sleep with him. Not any time soon (I don't think!). Especially not when we're both drunk. So we stopped there. Although he did convince me to take off my bra, so he could more easily rub my back. Hehe. But it felt so good! I can never say no to a backrub before bed! Ahhh...
So this time, I snuggled up to him, and we fell asleep. :)

I Haven't Done This In A While!

Last night was AWESOME SAUCE! First of all, I haven't been out on a Friday night in a looooong time. And I was determined to enjoy it! Lane, Bruce and I had plans to go to a show at the theater. We get into most of the shows for free with our student IDs, so we all take advantage of it.
So I put on my black Rock & Republic skinny jeans, black wedge pumps, and a light blue tunic, and headed out, (with flip flops in my purse, just in case lol). Here's a picture of my outfit, just so you get the idea...


Needless to say, I was taller than all the boys, but no one seemed to mind. And it felt so good to strut my stuff after so long. Lol. So I met Lane at the theater, and we were supposed to meet Bruce there too, but he missed his train, and promised to meet us afterwards. So Lane and I got seats near the back, cuz it was pretty crowded. As I was walking, I totally caught him looking me up and down. It was the first time he'd really seen me decked out, and to be honest, I didn't think I was really decked out. Just...dressed up a little. ;)
The way we were sitting, we had to turn to the right to face the stage, so he ended up a little bit behind me. And the whole time I was super self conscious, wondering if he was looking at me or not. And I couldn't steal any glances at him without being totally obvious, so it was actually rather awkward for me. I mean, we were watching a show, so we couldn't talk. And to be honest, it wasn't that great as far as shows there go. Not the best one I've seen anyway. So when it ended, I was really relieved to get out of there!
We decided to head back to The Ginger Man, and Bruce and Will met us there. Bruce brought a friend of his along too, a really tall guy, with gorgeous blue eyes, named Max. I'm not gonna lie, it felt great being the only girl. And not because I worry about competition, it was just nice to be surrounded by so many guys! Haha.
So the drinking commenced, and when Ginger Man closed, we headed to Crows. We ordered another round, and pretty soon I needed to take a trip to the ladies. While I was waiting in line, sitting on a stool, a strange short guy in a french cap came up and started talking to (read: annoying) me. I humored him, since I was in good spirits, and I learned that he was from Canada, visiting. Being that it was 2 days before the 4th, I teased him a bit. Then he shamelessly hit on me. I asked him if he wanted to take a shot with me, which he interpreted as me asking him to buy me a drink, so when I came back from the bathroom, he'd already latched himself onto some other poor girl. Darn!
When I got back to the guys, they started teasing me about getting hit on while waiting for the bathroom, and I told them the story. This somehow evolved into them daring me to call him out and cause a scene. And being drunk, and never one to turn down a dare, I approached him. He was sitting at the bar next to a girl, who clearly looked disinterested.

"Uh...excuse me?" I said, "I'm gone for 5 minutes and I come back to find you already with some other girl? I thought you were into me!"

He stammered and looked shocked. The girl looked confused.

"Fine. I see how it is. I see what kind of guy you are. Well have fun with her!" I said and stormed off. I burst into a fit of giggles as soon as my back was turned. The guys high fived me, surreptitiously of course. A couple minutes later, the girl he'd been talking to walked up to me.

"Hey, were you serious back there or...?"

I laughed, "NO! Ohmygod, that guy is a total skeaze! I was just fucking with him cuz I thought it'd be funny." I explained.

"Ohhh!" She laughed and looked relieved.

"Ohmygod! He's coming!" I whispered as I saw him approaching, "Play along!"

The girl winked.

"You are such a fucking slut! You just swoop in as soon as I leave!" I started yelling.

"Bitch! I did NOT steal your man!"

At that moment, I stood up off my stool, and was towering over her in my heels.

"Bitch! I will STEP ON YOU!" It was all I could do not to bust out laughing. The Canadian guy looked like he was in a state of shock with ill contained flattery.

"Whatever, skank! I'm Mexican! I'll kick your ass!" The girl yelled back.

Right then, her friend, who had no clue we were just acting, came up and pushed us apart. We were nose to nose by this point. So Will jumped in and acted like he was holding me back, while the girl dragged her friend off to explain. The Canadian guy immediately ran off to tell his friends what just happened.
When I turned around, the guys were doubled over and we were all reduced to tears of laughter.
For the rest of the night, I had to avoid the Canadian guy's glance or I'd start laughing again. At 4am, they finally kicked us out of the bar. While we were standing outside, trying to hail a cab, the Canadian guy came up to me and asked me to go somewhere with him!
"Look dude, everything we said back there was an act. A joke! And I'm not going anywhere with you."
Just then, the girl walked by and gave me a high 5.
It.Was.Awesome!

So anyways, we hopped in a cab, and I invited everyone back to my place! Lol. Dane was at the firehouse, so I knew he wouldn't be home, and Joey has practically moved out already. So everyone came over. My room is actually clean right now, miraculously! So Max sat down at my piano and started playing, Will and Lane made themselves comfy on my bed, Bruce sat in my chair, and Jasper was going nuts! Lol. I got each of them a beer from the fridge and I have no idea what we did for the next hour. But around 8, I suggested we all go to IHOP. We were all starving, and drunk, and it was 8am, so why not??? So we walked the few blocks down to IHOP and grubbed. It was awesome. Bruce and Max got a cab, and then Will took the train, and once again...it was me and Lane. I gave him directions to the red line and we hugged goodbye and then went our separate ways. But as soon as I got home, I texted him, "Wait! Come back!" in a half-serious, half-joking way.

"Really? Is that an option? I'm not that far..." He wrote back.

"Sure, why not?" I said.

About and HOUR later, he made it here. Lol. He knocked on my bedroom door (the one that leads to the courtyard! Apparently he got lost, and couldn't remember which house it was, and his phone died. I was starting to think he just wasn't coming. But there he was, on my doorstep! Apparently he jumped the courtyard fence, since he couldn't called me. :)
I was already in my PJs, which consisted of a sports bra, t-shirt and boxers. So I got back under the covers, and he laid down next to me on top of the covers. We laid there, just talking for a while. Then my eyelids started to get heavy, so I turned off the lamp.

"Sorry," I said. "I had to turn that off, I'm starting to get really tired." It was probably 9:30am by this point.
Then he leaned over and kissed me. It was like 3 long pecks, or 3 short regular kisses. I dunno what you'd call it, but it surprised me. I didn't kiss back really the first time, cuz I was so caught off guard, but I did the second and third time. And I'm sure I was blushing! Then he laid back down.

"Well I just had to get that out of the way." He said, "Now it's gonna be weird in class."

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"I dunno, maybe not."

"Well if it's weird, it's not gonna be because of me." I said.

Then we laid in the dark and talked some more. And he took his pants off because it was so fucking hot in my room. Lol. I eventually had to go turn the air down cuz we were both sweating. When I came back, I decided to kiss him again. Because he seemed so uncertain about the last one, I figured I should reciprocate a little more. So I did. He was under the covers this time, right next to me, and I could feel him pressed up against me. I could also feel something else, pressing up against me. Lol. He actually apologized and adjusted himself. Hahaha, what a gentleman!
Then he said, "I hope it doesn't bother you, but I like to cuddle."
And then he snuggled up to me and we went to sleep.

I Think I Like Where This Is Heading...

So last night, Lane and I tried to go to the show, but it was sold out by the time we got there! Will and Bruce were already inside, so we decided to head down the street and have some drinks in the meantime, and then catch the next show with them. So there we were again, just the 2 of us. And we just hung out and talked! It was so...easy.
So let me help you get to know Lane a little bit. He's from St. Louis, and he moved here around the same time I did, because he wanted to take improv classes! Lol. Surprisingly, a lot of the people in my class really want to become actors or comedians, or writers for SNL and stuff. And most of them have already taken classes at other comedy theaters! I just wanted to meet people! Lol. But apparently, Lane is one of the serious ones. Well...as serious as you can be about comedy. He interns once a week at another comedy club somewhere. This somewhat concerns me, cuz he apparently doesn't have an actual job. So how does he afford to go out? Pay his rent? Take improv class??? This will need some investigating... Anyway, he's the youngest of 3, with 2 older sisters. What else... Oh! He went to Tulane, and yes he has a degree! In English and Philosophy! So he's smart, which is a plus (and a requirement!). And of course, I'm totally into him, for sure now. Lol. And we text, and facebook chat frequently. Often at odd hours of the morning, since he's a night owl like me. :)

So anyway, we spent about 2 hours at the bar, till the show let out and Will came to meet us. I guess Bruce went home. So Will joined us for one more drink, before we headed back to the theater for the late show. And the show was hilarious, of course. Afterwards, we went to this little bar, called The Ginger Man. It's a really cool little dive, with pool tables, and an ancient jukebox. We met up with these two girls from Austria, who were couch surfing at Lane's house at the time. One was really skinny, and one was really big. The skinny one was shy and quiet, and the big one was loud and outgoing. So they made an interesting pair. Completely opposite in every way! But they were really fun, and friendly. When Ginger Man closed, Will went home cuz he had to work in the morning, but the rest of us still wanted to party, so Lane suggested a 4am bar called Crows. Apparently he knows a bartender there. So we took a cab and headed over there. But when we got there, the 2 Austrian girls decided to go home! Apparently they were flying out the next day. So Lane and I proceeded into Crows, alone once again. We stayed for about an hour, and I made him try all my favorites: shots of Pinnacle Whipped, UV Cake, and various Three Olives flavors. Lol. Then we had one shot with the bartender, before we headed out. He walked me to the train again. This time, we didn't stay talking till the sun came up, because I have to work today. In fact, I gotta finish getting ready!

Is There a Such Thing as Too Much Fun??

OMG, last night was hilarious!! After class, our same group went out for drinks again, and after the bar closed, we all piled (literally, we piled) into a cab and headed over to JJ's house. I don't know who's idea this was, but once people started getting into the cab, we all just sort of followed. So JJ warned us that his place was a bit messy, and you know, that's what everyone says when they have last minute and/or unexpected company.

But OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

I have NEVER seen a house so messy in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!

In my drunken stupor, the first thing I said when I walked in was, "Are you guys like...hoarders or something??" Lol. To which Bruce chuckled nervously, and Lane laughed uproariously at. Bruce was literally about to wig out. He was just staring at his surroundings with this shell-shocked look on his face, and muttering to himself. Lol. It was so funny.
But I'm not kidding. I don't think I could even begin to describe the mess. There were just PILES AND PILES of SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!! LOL. It looked like a LANDFILL!

So we all started playing this game. Bruce would pick up 2 random items, and I would snap a picture. Lol. The next day, the pictures were a real riot to look through. Here are a couple of examples:
An aerosol butane can and Welch's Concorde Grape Jelly (Yes it was open, No it wasn't refrigerated)
A dirty steak knife and Old Spice Swagger deodorant
A box cutter and a vaporizer (for marijuana)
A can of Pringles and a vacuum cleaner hose
An empty Fruit Loops box and a tub of white acrylic paint

So, you get the picture, right? It was like walking into an Eye Spy book! So we hung out there for a while, until Bruce finally freaked out.

"Don't you people have jobs?! Responsibilities?! I have to get up in 3 hours!!"
LMAO!

So we all trickled out shortly after Bruce caught a cab, which was around 4:00 in the morning. So it was me, Antonio and Lane, walking towards...?? And Antonio had to go the opposite direction from Lane and I.
And then there were two...

"Do you know where we are?" I asked him, "Because I don't. I totally wasn't paying attention when we were in that cab on the way here."

"Yea, I don't live too far from here. I can walk you to the train." He offered.

So we walked, and chatted companionably to the Red Line stop. When we got there, we stood outside the Red Line stop talking for an hour and a half! The sun was coming up! I don't even remember what we were talking about. Anything. And everything! We could have seriously kept talking for probably another few hours, but the sun was coming up! Lol.

"Well, I should probably get going, since it's sunrise and all." I finally said.

"Yea... Well there's a really good show Wednesday at the theater. I know some of the guys were talking about checking it out, if you're down." He said.

"Yea, that sounds like fun! Here," I handed him my phone, "Give me your number, and I'll text you tomorrow, and we'll iron out the details."
We exchanged numbers, and then, finally I walked through the turnstile. When I got up onto the platform, I could still see Lane, walking down the street towards the rising sun, and I sighed to myself, and smiled.