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Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Turkey Day!

So here I am in New Orleans! Thanksgiving dinner was amazing, as always. Sophie and I ate so much today, we named our inner fat girls. Lol. This post is gonna be short cuz I'm just about to go to sleep. We're all going to Cafe Du Monde for breakfast tomorrow morning and I definitely wanna be awake for that!
I'm missing Brandon like crazy...his warm body next to mine, his kisses, his voice, his scent, his perfect smile... He's been calling and texting me a lot though so I know he misses me too. :) I just can't wait to see him! I mean I'm falling so hard for him it's scary. Or at least it should be scary, but it's not! For once, it's a welcome feeling. And you know why that is? Because I know that no matter how far, or how hard I fall, Brandon will still be there to catch me when I reach the bottom. ((Sigh))

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Just Can't Get Over It

Ladies!
There are wonderful guys out there!
Don't give up!!

Haha, I don't mean to rub it in or anything, it's just...I'm so happy! And things are so...simple!
There's no drama.
No second-guessing myself.
No second-guessing how he feels about me.
No worries!
Just...bliss.

This weekend I went to the Renaissance Festival again with my Mom to get my dress for Sophie's wedding. I found the perfect dress, but it was like $450!! I bought it anyways. Lol. It's a shimmery black/burgundy corset with burgundy fleurs and a long burgundy chemise. It's really pretty! I can't wait to wear it! I invited Brandon to come with me to the wedding too, and he said he would. So tonight I put both of our names in the request off book for that weekend. :)

So almost everyone at work knows about us now, but there are a few people who still don't know. But now, I don't care who knows! I have an amazing boyfriend, and I'm happy to tell people!

Tonight is the first night in a really long time that Brandon isn't staying with me. He's starting his new position at the engineering firm tomorrow, so he wanted to make sure he got lots of sleep. I'm so proud of him! Of all the guys I've ever been with, he's the hardest worker. I mean he's a real go-getter. He's good at making things happen.

Anyways, I'll stop bragging about him now, it's just that I can't get over how great he is! Every day is better than the last! And it's not just that everything seems perfect, it's that it's real. ((sigh))

I'm leaving for New Orleans on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. It's gonna be a long boring drive with my dad, and a long 5 nights without Brandon...
But, like they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"!
I hope everyone has a happy and safe Thanksgiving Holiday! I'll try to write again soon. Hopefully my next post will be more exciting!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Brainstorm

OMG OMG OMG!!! GOOD NEWS ALL AROUND!!!

Well, today I spent the entire day at MD Anderson with my mom. She has chemo every Monday, and she signed up to do this case study so...aside from the 3 hours of waiting, we spent a lot of time in different rooms talking to different people. But the good news is, the chemo appears to be working!! When her doctor gave her a breast exam today he said he can tell that the lump is significantly smaller! And that's really saying something considering there's only a 7% chance of chemotherapy doing it's job. And my Mom is one of the 7%!!
I'm so relieved. I mean last week at work, I literally had a breakdown. It was the day after my parents got home from their cruise, and the first time I'd seen my mom since she lost all her hair. I was supposed have off that day, but I got called in, and I was just having a bad day you know? And then work was awful, and at the end of the night, I was talking to one of my coworkers about it, his name is Adam, and he just hugged me and told me that everything happens for a reason, and just... He was really really sweet. And I actually shed a few tears. ((Sigh))
But I'm past all that now, things are looking up! It was just kind of like I experienced the shock all over again. Ya know?

So anyways, the other good news is that Brandon and I are doing wonderful! He's so sweet, and considerate, and affectionate... It's like I'm getting back a whole year's worth of hugs, kisses and hand holds! :)
He spends then night almost every night. He calls me sweetheart, and baby. And the other night, we had the most amazing sex ever! I mean...almost every position; we went for hours! It was awesome.
On Saturday, we went to the Renaissance Festival with my parents. It was his first time meeting them, and my mom told me today that he's the best guy I've ever brought home! She really likes him. :) And so do I. ((sigh)) I'm really falling for him. Fast. Too fast! I'm almost afraid. I mean you can never be too careful.
His birthday is this Wednesday and I have no idea what to get him. Anybody have any ideas?? I want it to be something personal, but it can't be too much, ya know cuz we haven't been together that long. So I'm having a really hard time thinking of something. The only thing I know he really likes is golf. He doesn't watch TV, he doesn't buy CDs, he doesn't really have time for that many hobbies...
So yea, I need ideas. And I need them fast!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Falling Fast

Tuesday night, after a miserable 8 straight days of working, Brandon and I were laying in bed, discussing the movie we had just watched, Changeling. SUPER good btw, omg. Jolie was amazing, and the story was amazing...it was just awesome!
So anyways, we're talking and I kind of just blurted out, "I can't believe you're still here!"
"What do you mean 'here'?" He asked.
"I dunno it's just...most guys would have run off by now." I said uncomfortably.
"Well I'm not like most guys." He stated.
"I know." I smiled, "But still...as soon as I start to get comfortable with someone, that's usually when they split."
"Well you don't have to worry about that. I'm gonna be here for a while."
"Yea, they all say that." I sighed.
"You gotta give me some credit! I wouldn't drive 25 minutes everyday, or miss work if I wasn't really into you."
"You can't blame me for missing work!" I interjected, "I told you to get up this morning, but you didn't want to!"
"Yea, that's the point. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay here. With you."
He stared at me so intensely that I started to blush.
"So...you never answered that question I asked you before." He said with a glint in his eye.
"What question?" I stalled.
"You know, about what you want out of this...?"
I sighed and pulled the covers up over my head.
"Well...I don't know! I mean, what do you expect from me? Do you not want me to see other people, do you-"
"Of course I don't!" He interrupted, momentarily scattering my thoughts.
"You don't?" I asked, genuinely surprised.
"No."
"Soo...you're not...seeing other people?" I said in a small voice.
"No, I'm not." He said, matter-of-factly.
"So, if I was, how would you feel about that?"
"If I heard you were seeing other people, I'd say, 'Ok now I know', and move on. I wouldn't talk to you anymore."
"Hmm." A light came on in my head, "So, let me get this straight: if you're not seeing other people, and I'm not seeing other people, wouldn't you call this situation a relationship?"
"Yea, I guess you would."
"Well then there's just one thing missing!"
"What's missing?" He asked.
"You don't know??" I teased.
"No..." He looked thoughtful.
"Do I need to spell it out for you?"
"Yea I guess!" He smiled.
"Y-O-U H-A-V-E T-O A-S-K..." I began to spell.
"I have to ask you to be my girlfriend?" He grinned, flashing his brilliantly white teeth.
"Yes, you do." I said with a smile.
"Ok," He blushed crimson, "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?" He asked.
"Sure." I said with a huge smile.
Then he pulled me in for a big kiss and he held me tight till we fell asleep.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

What I Like About You

So it turned out I was totally fretting over nothing the other night. Brandon called me literally an hour after I'd fallen asleep, at like 6am. He apologized profusely for not coming over; said he'd passed out at his friend's house. He was on his way to work when he called and then he asked me if he could come over after lunch. And of course, I told him sure!
So he came over around 2 and we both hopped into bed! We goofed off, I made fun of him for being so drunk the night before, we had some amazing sex, and then we just started talking.
And I mentioned something to him about how he never likes to give anything away. If I wanna know something, I have to ask him very directly.
"It's not that I'm afraid to talk about my feelings or anything I just don't...I dunno, I don't say much." He said.
"You don't say much??? Are you kidding me?!" I teased.
"Well I didn't mean it like that!" He said, and we both started laughing.
"Let me ask you something." He said, "What do you want from me?"
"Don't ask me that." I said.
I was so shocked that the conversation was heading in that direction, and that he was the one to bring it up! I mean normally, it's me who brings up the whole "what are we and where is this going" conversation, and it never bodes well. So I'd already decided to just leave it alone and wait things out. But here he was, asking me straight up what I wanted!
"Why can't I ask you that??" He asked.
"Well, what do you want from me?" I countered.
"Hey, I asked you first!"
"Yea, but if you're going to ask me something like that, you better be prepared to answer it yourself. So you go first." I said with a hint of finality.
"Ok..." He paused as if to consider the question. "Well, I really like you. I mean you're fun, and I think you're hot, and I dig your personality. I don't know why guys don't go after you.
"Unless they do!" He blurted, interrupting his own thoughts, "I mean, do you go out on dates?"
I sighed, "That's the problem with guys today. They don't ask girls out on dates anymore."
"Well I'd like to take you out on some dates. I mean honestly, I'm not trying to rush into anything but I'd like to see where this goes..." He smiled. "I'm not gonna hide my feelings from you anymore, ok?? The more time I spend with you, the more I'm drawn to you."
My heart was pounding so hard against my rib cage I was almost certain he'd hear it. I mean no guy has ever been so honest, and so sweet at the same time. I've never been so happy to hear that from someone, because I could just tell how much he meant it. Usually guys don't like to talk about commitments, or the future, or any of that stuff. But he doesn't shy away from it at all!
All I could do was smile at him and kiss him.
We had some more sex, and then we finally got out of bed. We goofed off in the shower together, and talked some more; about our past relationships, about what we want out of life, stuff like that. And it's like we've reached some new plane, where the unknown isn't scary, and we don't have to second guess our words or actions. I can confidently invite him over, and not have to worry about seeming too available. I can cuddle with him in bed without worrying about him thinking I'm too clingy. I can tell him what I'm thinking and how I feel, without being insecure, or sounding desperate.
It's just so...perfect.
He took me out to dinner last night, and then we rode to work together. And of course, he came home with me after work too.
((sigh))
I think, I may have landed myself in a relationship that may actually last.
:)

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love,
And be loved in return

Friday, November 7, 2008

Bummed...

Brandon was supposed to come over tonight. He even made me leave my key under the mat so he wouldn't have to wait for me to get off work. And then I came home and...he's not here.
((sigh))
I mean I saw him earlier, and he was drunk. At like 11:30! He came into my bar with a couple of his friends, and he almost gave our secret away! I mean he walked right up to me and put his arm around my waist! Lol. Oh well, nobody saw.
Anyways, he told me he was going out tonight. He was supposed to work tonight, but I guess they ended up not needing him so he got the night off and decided to go out. But at least he had a good time I guess.
I was just disappointed when I got home cuz I thought he'd be here! :/
Maybe he rode with his friends and they dropped him off at home. Well...hopefully he'll call me tomorrow. I mean I'm not gonna make a big deal out of it because I don't wanna push him away.
And yesterday, he actually told me he likes me! He doesn't really talk about his feelings much. I mean, he definitely shows me how he feels, but from what I know about guys, they all do. And then you think they really like you, but... You know the rest of the story.
So I'm just gonna sleep alone tonight, and hope I see him tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Guess What?!

He finally invited me over!
"So when are you gonna come see my ranch?"
Those were his exact words. I mean, he doesn't actually live on a ranch, but he lives in a house, with some property I think. Anyways, I've never been to his place before! He always comes to mine. So tomorrow, I'm going over to his place! Yay!! :)

I started painting my living room today! I got one coat done, but I gotta go buy another can of paint and do the next coat tomorrow. But so far it looks good! It's bright green. But I have all black furniture, with purple and green accents, so it looks awesome!
YAYYYY for this week!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

My New Favorite

Halloween weekend was insane! We made soooo much money both Friday and Saturday! Annnnnd, with all that money, I was finally able to buy a complete studio light kit for my camera!! I'm so excited!! And so is Bethany! Hehe. I'm gonna set it up in my feaux-dining room where my electric piano is now. Only now I'm gonna have to find a new place for the piano... Oh well. Everything should be here by the end of the week!
On Saturday night after work, I drove Brandon to his car and asked him if he was coming over or going home. He said he really wished he could stay over, but he had friend in from Lake Charles that he needed to entertain the next day. Then he kissed me goodbye and said he'd call me tomorrow.
So I headed over to Blinn's, where a few other coworkers were gathering for some late night action. We were all ready for a beer; after the daylight savings and doing inventory, it had been an extremely long night for us!
When I got there, everybody was just pulling up. A few of the door guys, including John, Blinn, and DJ.
We went upstairs and turned on some music, and John, who had already had a few beers, immediately started his usual routine of antagonistic flirting. Only this time, I wasn't humoring him.
He kept poking me, pushing me, etc., but I wasn't reciprocating at all. DJ and Blinn were out on the patio smoking cigs, so it was just me and the door guys inside. I hadn't been planning on staying for very long, so I hung out for a bit, had one drink, and then decided to leave.
Well apparently, John didn't want me to go, so he snatched my phone off the counter and refused to give it back to me.
"Come on, seriously?? I really need to go! I have a puppy at home who needs to be let out!" I insisted, but he just chuckled and put my phone in his pocket.
I sighed and tried to grab it out of his pocket when he wasn't looking, but he grabbed my arm and restrained me. I stopped fighting.
"I'm serious John! I'm not gonna play games with you, just give me my phone!"
"Why do you need it so bad?"
"Do I really have to answer that? Just give it back!"
"Let's see..." He pulled the phone out of his pocket and started pressing buttons.
"What are you doing?!" I lunged for my phone. I couldn't take the risk of him going through my phone. I mean, there were tons of incriminating text messages in there! And so far, absolutely no one has a clue about Brandon and I, and I intend to keep it that way! At least for now...
But John just seemed to be enjoying the fact that he'd finally gotten a rise out of me. I threatened to knee him in the groin, punch him in the throat, slap in him in the face...but he didn't care.
Finally Blinn came to my rescue.
"Come on you guys, you're gonna wake up [The Albanian], he's sleeping! John, just give her back her phone."
John sighed and reluctantly handed me my phone. I swatted him in the stomach with my keys as I stomped down the stairs.
When I got in my car, I sent him a text that said, "Well I certainly hope you found what you were looking for."
"Well I know what it is, but you didn't stay." He replied.
"What what is?? What are you talking about?" I demanded.
"Quit being coy."
"I'm not. You are one of the most frustrating people I know. You're so damn passive aggressive! I don't know what you were thinking was gonna happen, but I lost my patience with you a long time ago." I said.
"Why have you stayed in my bed twice and I've stayed in yours twice?" He asked.
"Fuck if I know! What kind of question is that!?" At this point, he'd almost completely lost me, and I was already at home in bed, so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning I had a text from him that said, "I looked back at the sequence of messages and yeah, I don't know where I was going with that last question either. Peyton, I don't know what it is, but I think when I get a couple drinks in me, I just really love to argue with you. Even if it doesn't make sense apparently."
Great.
I am so over it. I wish he would stop.

So Sunday I went out to lunch/dinner with Bethany, and we had a nice long girl talk. Then we went to Ikea, again, cuz she needed to get some stuff, and I figured I could always use more picture frames. I really love Bethany! As much drama as she has, at least none of it involves me! Our friendship is really cut and dry and I love that. Cuz I know she'll always be there for me when I need her. :)
Anyways, I called Brandon on our way home and told him to come over and hang out. So he did. :)
We watched a couple episodes of Malcolm In The Middle and then got in bed. We talked for a while, and I tickled him a little (I love doing that! He's so ticklish!), and then we made out a little, and then we had sex a lot, and then we cuddled. :)
((sigh)) I seriously don't know how this all happened, but I'm so happy. I mean, I have yet to hear anything bad about him from anybody, he doesn't have any drama, and he's so nice to me! He's just an all around great guy. He had to get up at 5:30 in the morning to leave for work again though, which sucks. When he came over to give me a kiss goodbye, I pulled him in close and begged him to stay.
"Man, I really wish I could, believe me." He said, and kissed me again.
"Call me when you wake up." He said as he walked to the door.
"Ok." I smiled.
I laid there for a minute and then reached for my phone.
"You're kinda my new favorite :)" I wrote, and sent it to Brandon.
"Don't tell Olive Juice that." He said. (Olive Juice is his nickname for Oliver. Hehe.)
"He can share." I said.
"Yeah true that!!! :)" He wrote.
And then I fell asleep.