Thursday, November 12, 2009
Make a Move
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Just Fade Away...
Monday, November 9, 2009
Keeps Coming Back...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Exciting Opportunities
OMG. So I'm at work right now, and I'm totally wired on aderol and coffee. I'm on my second cup of double espresso. AHHH! We have an awesome automatic coffee maker downstairs with all these different flavors in it. Anyways... Izzie and I have been texting in the mornings, since she's like the only other person I know who has a normal job and is up at these hours! It definitely helped me get through yesterday morning! So today, I was asking her how she does this every day! You know, how she stays awake, and how she doesn't go out of her mind with boredom! At the time, my coffee high hadn't hit yet, and I was struggling to keep my eyes open. So she mentioned that she wasn't planning on staying at her current job forever, and she wants to open her own ad agency. And I was like, "OMG IZ! I wanna come work for you! I'll move to Austin! I can take photos for your ads, and do photoshop stuff, and entertain you, and just whatever else you need! That would be soooo awesome!" Izzie: Hmmm, I don't know, Do you have any references? Jk you tard, I've been trying to get you to move to Austin for decades. But don't run out and quit your job though, it'll be at least 6 months before I can really get something started. Me: Lol, I know. But other than you, I had no real reason to move to Austin. But now that I'm getting some corporate experience on my resume, I think it'll be easier for me to branch out. Plus, I'm single now, and there's nothing really holding me back. Obviously I'm not gonna go quit my job, it's only my second day! lol. But I'm serious though. Izzie: Who knows if you'll be single in 6 months though? I would really, really, reallyreallyreallyreally love for you to help me start an ad agency. Really. Me: I really reallly reallllllly would love that too! Really. We should have a business meeting about this. Really. Perhaps I'll come to Austin soon. Hmmm... Izzie: Do it. I have another friend that wants in on this too. And I really like the business meeting idea. Let's do this soon. Me: Dammit, I wish I could come this weekend, but it's too late for me to try and get off work bartending, and next weekend is someone's birthday, so I doubt I'll be able to get off then. But maybe if I say it's business travel, I can pull it off! I'll talk to my manager tonight and see what I can do. Izzie: For next weekend? Me: Yea, would that work for you? Izzie: Let me check my calendar, and I'll get back to you ASAP. I'm still waiting to hear back from her, but nothing has gotten me this excited in a while. I mean, our own ad agency!?? That would be AWESOME! And I would actually be doing something I love to do, with photo editing and stuff. Plus I would be working with Izzie, who to this day is the best friend I have ever had through the years. Tried and true! :) And even if I end up totally hating this job I have now, I can deal with it for as long as it takes, just knowing that I have something else to look forward to. It's being stuck here forever that really scares me. Plus, you know, Austin is much closer to San Antonio... ;) |
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
To The Future!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Damaged Goods
Well I start the new job tomorrow. I'm pretty anxious about it. I'm not really sure what to expect. I went shopping with Melissa yesterday to get some comfy pumps, and couple more things to add to my professional wardrobe. I didn't do anything last night, because Bethany, Tugg, Summer and Ben were on a double date. :/
How is it that in every relationship I've ever been in (save one), I always have to question the guy's feelings. He never calls when he says he's going to. Always makes me wait around, takes me for granted, treats me with indifference, doesn't express his feelings, verbally, or otherwise. They've all been the same. Disappointment after disappointment. I just want a guy to really love me, and not be afraid to show it. Not try to change me, or make me less of a woman, less independent, less of who I am, just to make himself feel bigger, stronger, better…
Why does everything have to be a competition??? I'm not looking for competition. I'm looking for companionship. So what if we work together? Why do we have to be competitors? Why can't we just be coworkers? Friends?
Why are men so selfish, inconsiderate, and egocentric?? Why do they have to act so spiteful and mean when they feel they've been bested. Who's even counting?? Why do they always feel like they have to trade up. Like there just might be something better out there. Not to sound narcissistic but, what could be better than me?? I have a lot to offer. I'm smart, unique, and fun. I like to go out do things, travel, laugh, be goofy. I don't get mad easily, and I'm not catty, and I don't like to play games. WHERE are the men who are looking for THOSE things??? And how come the ones who claim to be looking for those things, don't ask me out!? I can't help it if I'm intimidating! If I intimidate anyone, it's because I know who I am, and what I bring to the table. I don't do it intentionally. I'm not mean, or condescending, or patronizing. I'm accepting, and outgoing, and friendly. I'll talk to anyone! But apparently people are afraid to talk to me. ((Sigh))
I'm tired of doing all the work. All the heavy lifting, the worrying, the texting, making all the plans…
I want somebody to make plans with me for once. Invite me out to dinner, or something. Text me goodnight. Call me when he's thinking of me.
I just want somebody to be crazy about me.
And I want to go back to the way I was.
Where is that girl??
And who is this person I have become??
Has the world really shaped me into this hardened, skittish, bitter, cynical, pessimist??
I really am damaged goods.
I think I may be losing faith in humanity.
