Monday, August 29, 2011


For one, I'm bored. I'm broke. And I'm dieting. So that pretty much eliminates EVERYTHING I can do that's fun.

And second??


He said he wanted to get together, that he wanted to take me out on a date. Like a real date! Not like, "hey let's sit at your place and drink beer cuz I don't have a job or any money huh huh."

I need to get out of my own head BAD. I can't wait for Wednesday!!!!!!!!!



All day I've had this weird feeling like...like last night didn't really happen. Like I must've just dreamed it or something. I mean, there I was in a public place kissing some guy I hardly know! And now I just feel...weird about it. I dunno. There must be something wrong with me. I just can't decide how I feel about Bill!
And you know what else? I didn't hear from him all day, and it bothers me. It bothers me! WHY?? I can't even decide if I like the dude or not, but I'm irritated that he didn't at least text me all damn day. ((Sigh)) GOD I am fucked up. Thank goodness school is starting on Wednesday. I'll be too busy with class to think or worry about anything else. I hope.

Sunday, August 28, 2011


Well the sushi party turned out to be lots of fun. There were a lot of people I didn't know, Rose's friends, but we all got along great! We took tons of saki bombs and ate sushi till our stomachs were all full. It was so much fun seeing everybody from class. Except Bill wasn't there. A couple other people noticed too and were asking around to find out where he was, so I offered to text him. This guy Jonathan gave me his number, cuz I didn't have it. When I texted him, Bill said he had a family thing to go to, and he'd meet up with us after. And he did! We all went to this bar a few blocks down from the restaurant. It was great cuz it was a laid back pub downstairs, but more like a club with loud music and a huge dance floor upstairs. We all hung out downstairs for a while, and I definitely started putting my plan into action. Plan Bill, that is. Bill and I were sitting at the bar talking when Lane walked up. He didn't really have anything to say, so I guess he just...wanted to see what we were talking about. I dunno. He left after a few minutes. I even found out that Rose has been spending some time with this other guy that was with our party. Not Lane. So that made me feel tons better. I dunno why... Eventually everybody decided to head upstairs, so Bill and I followed. Rose, some of her friends, and Lane were already on the dance floor, so we joined them. I tried to just sort of dance in the circle, not really with anyone in particular, but Bill danced with me anyways. After a while, I started to get really hot, so I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I told Rose I was going to sit down and cool off for a while. After I went to the bathroom I found an empty table in front of a vent and sat down. It felt amazing. I could see Bill's tall head poking out where our group was dancing. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, wondering if he'd see me. Eventually he did. He must've been looking for me. He came and sat down. We talked for a long time. I watched Rose and everybody dancing still. Then he kissed me. I can't say it was unexpected. It was bound to happen eventually. Why else would he come over here and sit with me instead of hanging out and partying with everybody else? I had to kiss him back. It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss him. It just wasn't like I was dying to either. ((Sigh))
Before I realized it, everyone else from our group was gone! They thought we had left, since we'd been gone so long. So then it was just me and Bill. He tried so hard to get me to go back to his place and smoke a bowl with him. He lives just a couple blocks from the bar we were at. But I told him I had to work tomorrow, and I have a dog and I need to get home. He countered that he wasn't inviting me to spend the night. I responded that if I smoked with him, there would be a real good chance of me passing out, and I definitely didn't want that to happen. There was no way I was going home with him. It's not that he's sleazy, or that he was just trying to get me to sleep with him. Not at all. He just didn't want me to go home! He was so sweet actually... Telling me I looked beautiful, and that he always wanted to ask me for my number in class... I asked him why he never did. Maybe if he had, all that nonsense with Lane would have never happened. ((Sigh)) He said I was a good kisser, and he wants to take me out sometime.
Now I don't know what to do. I'm at home, sitting in my bed thinking, I'd be stupid not to give him a chance. For one thing, he's taller than me, even in heels! Which is rare. For another, he's smart, attractive, funny, and has a good job. But on the other hand, I feel like it might be cruel to go out with him. I mean, I could maybe talk myself into really liking him, but this all started out as just a...game. I hate to say it. But it was just a way for me to feel like I had other options, and a way for me to show Lane that I had other options. But that was stupid. Now I know that. It would have been so much better if I just showed Lane I'm perfectly happy without him and leave it at that. Now I've gone and gotten somebody else involved and it looks like he might really like me.
So what should I do??

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Sushi Party

I am on my way to an all you can eat sushi party with everyone from my improv class. It was Rose's idea to wear cocktail dresses. I felt awesome when I put on my purple superbowl party dress and sequined heels, but now I'm in the cab fidgeting with my spanks and feeling super ridiculous. Lane will be there. And I still got that sneaking suspicion that he and Rose are dating. Guess I'll find out tonight. Ugh...I dunno why I'm so nervous. I'm gonna try to sit next to Bill. He's kinda cute. I'll just flirt with him all night and see what happens I guess. I'll update soon.

Monday, August 8, 2011

A Great Week

So I just got back to Chicago this morning, and I have been sleeping for the past 7 hours. Lol. Being out in the sun all day and running on ~4 hours of sleep a night will do that to you I guess. I didn't even make it to improv! Oh well... In fact, I've been perusing facebook and noticing that Lane and Rose have been spending a lot of time together, and it's really irritating me. I dunno WHY, because I like Rose, and I'm totally over Lane. I just feel...resentful I guess. That he could just drop me like that and move on to some other girl who also happens to be in our class. I mean I don't know if they're really seeing each other or anything. I'm probably just reading into it too much. ((Sigh)) I fuckin' hate guys.
Well at least my facebook page is currently littered with happy posts and tons of pictures of all the awesome shit I've done in the past week. So he can suck on that! Lol, not really, but I wish... I just can't get that feeling out of my stomach like I really need to one-up him somehow. This is fucking stupid! Why do I even care?? They're probably not even dating! I mean, she just broke up with her boyfriend! But who knows? I mean we weren't really dating either.

Anyway, I'll pick up from where I left off at the ranch...

So Carrie, Rory and I got back and everyone was out by the fire pit, which has this really long sidewalk, which leads to this like giant circle with these huge pillars all around it. It's really neat looking. And of course there's a gas powered fire pit in the middle of it, and speakers and an iPod hookup all connected everywhere. The whole house was like that! It's ridic. So anyway, Carrie and I didn't waste any time opening our wine and chugging a glass. Haha. Dawn and Tommy were still shitfaced and causing trouble. Tommy almost fell into the fire, at which point we all noticed his shorts were ripped and his balls were hanging out, literally. His balls were hanging out of his shorts. And when someone brought this to his attention, he proceeded to stick his butt up in the air and wave his balls in everyone's face. It was fucking sick. ((Shudder)) Dawn was being a total white trash bitch about it too. Rory kept trying to get her to eat something and she just wouldn't. Ugh...something about that girl just realllly rubbed me the wrong way after that weekend.
But anyway... The good part is, all the drunkies past out by like midnight, around which time this guy Donny showed up. Taryn had been telling me she wanted to hook me up with him, but he's totally not my type. Really nice guy, just...not my type. So anyway, me, Carrie, Donny and George were the only people still awake. And we were just getting started! I mean, Donny had just arrived, and Carrie and I were just getting our buzz on and I guess George must have gotten a second wind or something. Lol. So we decided to go swimming. And we were having noodle fights, and goofing off when suddenly all the lights went off. I mean utter pitch blackness. We're in the middle of nowhere! The lights for the pool, patio and cabana were all on a timer so they went off at like 2am or something. So we're all just floating silently in the pool like, "What do we do now?" Haha. Then we noticed the sky.
I have never seen a sky so beautiful in all my life. It was like we could see every star in the universe! The whole Milky Way, the planets...It was just breath taking. So we all just kind of lay there on pool floats, staring at the sky for who knows how long. It was really an experience. Did I mention we'd smoked some "potpourri" earlier? Lol. I mean the sky really was that awesome, but our heightened state of mind probably made it even more mind-boggling.

Eventually Carrie and I decided to turn in. And the beds were soooo comfortable! I didn't wanna get up in the morning, but I was too hyped about horseback riding to stay in bed! And we finally got to ride! Dahmer and I were the only ones actually interested in riding, but still. It felt so great to be back on a horse. It's been so long! ((Sigh)) I miss riding.
After that, we were all sweaty and gross, so of course we jumped back in the pool for one last dip before hitting the road. Oh, I and I feel like I should mention that Taryn did apologize to everyone for her Little Miss Princess attitude the day before. Which of course, was due to over consumption. Lol.
Before we all left, there was icecream cake for Rory's birthday, and we all thanked Rory's family for putting up with us. On the drive home, the whole gang stopped for some good ole' Texas BBQ. I had my dad pick me up from Taryn and Dahmer's place. And when I got back home, with the intention of napping, I found I couldn't sleep. My shoulders were burned for one, and I wanted to catch up on the blog while the memories were still fresh! :)
But now I'm back in Chi-Town, and finally caught up on my rest. Ahhh...
It really was a great week.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Trouble in Paradise

So somehow, Dahmer and I made it out Friday night. We went to my old bar, then to the shot bar to visit Taryn. After that we headed to a new bar that's opened since I moved. My old friend Tara, who I used to work with at the country bar is working there now! So she totally hooked us up. We also ran into Ben, who's notorious for only partying at the hottest spots. Lol. But we had fun, and were in a cab by 1:30am. Taryn didn't get home for another couple of hours, and Dahmer was already asleep.
The next morning we loaded up the car and were headed out to Rory's family's ranch by 11. We pulled up about an hour later. And it was absolutely breath taking! So much more than what I was expecting. Sooo much land, so many horses, the barn looked like a house, and the house was...whoa. Very impressive. Rory gave us the grand tour upon our arrival, and then we all suited up and jumped in the pool. The awesome saltwater infinity pool with a cabana and hot tub! We spent the entire day in the pool. There was a pretty big group there, which included me Taryn and Dahmer, George, Carrie, and some of Rory's family. And it is sooo hot in the Houston area right now! It was over 110 every single day. But we were in and out of the pool so much it's like we only got out to eat! And I got the most amazing tan!
So last night, I didn't want to drink, because Rory said we were gonna go riding after dinner, and I didn't want to be too drunk to ride. No one else seemed concerned however, and I was pretty much the only sober person. When the sun started setting and dinner still wasn't ready, I began to give up hope that our evening ride was going to happen. It was around this time that all the drama started to go down. I had just walked in the house to wash up for dinner when Dahmer approached me.
"Hey...Taryn's in the last bedroom. Did you wanna talk to her?"

Since I wasn't looking for Taryn, and hadn't even inquired about her, I thought this was a rather odd question, and I'm sure it showed on my face.

"Do I need to talk to her?" I asked.

Dahmer shrugged, "I dunno. She's pretty pissed."

"Why? At who?" I asked.

"At me, maybe?? I don't know, I think she's mad that I didn't put my foot down about us getting our own room."

I raised a brow, "What??"
"Well Rory said it's his parents rule that only the married couples get their own bedroom, so we're all sleeping out in the cabana."
"So?" I said. The cabana happens to be a really bitchin' little house, with 8 beds (4 twins with trundles), all with TempurPedic mattresses, 2 full baths and a pool table. So no complaints here!

"Well I dunno...she's all mad about it."

I sighed. "Ok. I'll go talk to her. But she has no reason to be mad at you."

Dahmer just shrugged again as I walked down the reallllly long hallway past all the suites to the last bedroom. Lol. I knocked on the door.

"Come in."

The room was dark, and all the curtains were drawn.

"Hey," I said as I walked in, "Dinner's almost ready."

Taryn was laying on top of the covers, looking extremely sunburned and very drunk.

"Ok." She said in her soft, higher than normal drunk voice, "I'll come eat in a minute."

"Are you sick?" I asked.

"No...I'm just really tired."

There was another knock at the door.

"Come in!" We both said.

Carrie came in and turn on the light.

"Turn the light off!" Taryn said in a hoarse whisper.

"I just need to get my stuff and move it to the cabana. My shit is everywhere..." Carrie said as she began picking things up and tossing them into her suitcase.

"Ok just turn the light off." Taryn said again, a little impatiently. Carrie and I exchanged, WTF? looks, and she reluctantly turned the light off.

"What's the matter, Taryn? Are you not feeling well?" Carrie asked in a concerned voice.

Taryn signed, "I'm fine...I'm just a little disappointed that [Dahmer] and I don't get our own room. I mean we live together. And I was told before we came out here that we would have our own room, and our own bathroom, and now we're here and I find out we have to sleep in the cabana in a twin bed in a room full of people." She pouted.

"So what? We're guests here. It's only for one night. It'll be like summer camp!" I said, trying to cheer her up.

"Well...I mean, we're not gonna get any privacy."

"It's not like it's your fucking honeymoon!" Carrie interrupted with a laugh.

"I know that, but this is just not what I was expecting. And it really pisses me off that [insert couple here] get to have their own room, just because they're married."

"Those are Rory's parents' rules. They're very conservative." Carrie said, starting to look annoyed. She was pretty sober as well.

"Well, we might end up driving back tonight." Taryn said haughtily. My jaw almost dropped. They were my ride!

"You're kidding me." I said flatly.

Taryn sighed, "Somebody tell me to suck it up."

"SUCK IT UP." I said, more loudly than I intended to, "This place is amazing, and we should be kissing Rory's family's feet for letting us stay here at all. Let's just have a good time, and not stress about stupid shit. Ok?"

"Ok." Taryn sighed with a pout.

Carrie and I left her to get changed while we went to eat.

"I can't believe she's being like this." Carrie said under her breath.

"Me neither! I've never known her to be so..."

"Rude? Selfish? Demanding??" Carrie finished my sentence.

"Uh...yea." I said.

"I need to get the fuck out of here. Where's Rory? He said he wanted to make a beer run. Wanna come?"

"Yes please!" I said.

So as soon as we finished dinner, we piled into Rory's SUV for a drama free drive. We all bitched about the drama that was happening. Apparently Rory was dealing with drama of his own. This girl, Dawn and her husband, Tommy were both completely shitfaced. And Dawn kept talking to Rory's mom about his ex, who she is still friends with. And apparently she was pretty rude. So Rory's mom got all mad at Rory about it...((Sigh)) Poor guy. It's his birthday weekend and he can't even relax and enjoy himself. So the 3 of us made a pact to get hammered. Lol. Hey, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? So we loaded up on beer and wine, and headed back to the ranch, for round 2 of excitement.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

I Present To You...


These pictures are sausage and cheese, which are my favorite. Although they come in many other flavors! The bread is soft and sweet, almost like a donut, without the glaze.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Houston So Far

The last 2 days have been so great! I got into Houston Tuesday night, and Dad and I just hung around the house really. I was pretty tired from all the running around and packing I'd been doing. But on Wednesday, Dad woke up early and went out to get kolaches! One of my favorite and most missed food items that you can only get in the south. SOOOO good! Then we went to the zoo, cuz I've been dying to see their new chimpanzee exhibit. It was super hot of course, but we had a good time. After that, we had a late lunch and headed home.
Mom picked me up around 3:30 and we headed up to my aunt Suzanne's. I hung out with my cousins, and Lexi and I made a fresh blueberry cobbler. It was delicious! We went to bed pretty early that night cuz my mom had to go to work early in the morning. But just when I was starting to fall asleep, Gavin called. I wasn't that surprised to hear from him, being in Houston and all, but usually he just texts, and he didn't even seem interested in seeing me last time I was in town!
As it turned out, he didn't even know I was in Houston! It was just a total coincidence that he called. Then he scolded me for not telling him I was coming. Lol. To which I replied that he definitely gave me the good old brush off last time I was in town, and he said that was because he was afraid if he saw me, he'd cheat on his girlfriend. Hehe. Silly boy... But we chatted for a bit, he said some more dirty and inappropriate things, and I passed out with a guilty smile on my face.

Yesterday, bright and early, Mom and I headed back into the city. She dropped me off at Jenna's, so I could spend the day with her, but we both just went back to sleep for an hour. I went with Jenna to her doctor's appointment at 9:30. Apparently when you're 7 1/2 months pregnant you have to go to the doctor every other week. Ugh... But Jenna and I always have fun no matter what we're doing, so we just talked and goofed off the whole time. After that, we headed to the kolache factory for a quick breakfast (can't get enough kolaches!!) and then we got our nails done. I haven't had a manicure since before her wedding! When we got home, Justin took us out for an authentic Tex Mex dinner, which was really nice of him. Jenna confessed to me that she's worried about Justin not being fully on board for the baby. I guess he's pretty nervous. Hopefully when the baby is born, he'll be more excited, and less anxious. I really like Justin, but sometimes I just can't help but feel that he isn't good enough for Jenna. ((Sigh)) I hope I'm not right.

Anyway, after dinner, I met up with an old friend from high school, Prudence. We rarely see each other anymore, but when we do get to hang out, it's like no time has passed. We're a lot alike: super goofy, same sense of humor, and up for anything, anytime. We went to my old bar, and took wayyy too many (free!) shots. Lol. But I got to see Aaron and Tanya, Mr. P, and Brandon, of course. So over it. Thank god... But Prudence and I had a blast! And I crashed at her and her boyfriend's place last night. Today I am super hungover and wondering how I'm going to make it out again tonight with Dahmer. Lol. I'm staying with him and Taryn tonight. She's actually on her way to get me right now. Prudence and I went and saw Harry Potter again. Well, again for me, first time for her. And I got a free movie ticket! Long story...
But it's off to Taryn's now, and then to the ranch tomorrow morning. I can't wait! Stay tuned...