Sushi Party

I am on my way to an all you can eat sushi party with everyone from my improv class. It was Rose's idea to wear cocktail dresses. I felt awesome when I put on my purple superbowl party dress and sequined heels, but now I'm in the cab fidgeting with my spanks and feeling super ridiculous. Lane will be there. And I still got that sneaking suspicion that he and Rose are dating. Guess I'll find out tonight. Ugh...I dunno why I'm so nervous. I'm gonna try to sit next to Bill. He's kinda cute. I'll just flirt with him all night and see what happens I guess. I'll update soon.

A Great Week

So I just got back to Chicago this morning, and I have been sleeping for the past 7 hours. Lol. Being out in the sun all day and running on ~4 hours of sleep a night will do that to you I guess. I didn't even make it to improv! Oh well... In fact, I've been perusing facebook and noticing that Lane and Rose have been spending a lot of time together, and it's really irritating me. I dunno WHY, because I like Rose, and I'm totally over Lane. I just feel...resentful I guess. That he could just drop me like that and move on to some other girl who also happens to be in our class. I mean I don't know if they're really seeing each other or anything. I'm probably just reading into it too much. ((Sigh)) I fuckin' hate guys.
Well at least my facebook page is currently littered with happy posts and tons of pictures of all the awesome shit I've done in the past week. So he can suck on that! Lol, not really, but I wish... I just can't get that feeling out of my stomach like I really need to one-up him somehow. This is fucking stupid! Why do I even care?? They're probably not even dating! I mean, she just broke up with her boyfriend! But who knows? I mean we weren't really dating either.

Anyway, I'll pick up from where I left off at the ranch...

So Carrie, Rory and I got back and everyone was out by the fire pit, which has this really long sidewalk, which leads to this like giant circle with these huge pillars all around it. It's really neat looking. And of course there's a gas powered fire pit in the middle of it, and speakers and an iPod hookup all connected everywhere. The whole house was like that! It's ridic. So anyway, Carrie and I didn't waste any time opening our wine and chugging a glass. Haha. Dawn and Tommy were still shitfaced and causing trouble. Tommy almost fell into the fire, at which point we all noticed his shorts were ripped and his balls were hanging out, literally. His balls were hanging out of his shorts. And when someone brought this to his attention, he proceeded to stick his butt up in the air and wave his balls in everyone's face. It was fucking sick. ((Shudder)) Dawn was being a total white trash bitch about it too. Rory kept trying to get her to eat something and she just wouldn't. Ugh...something about that girl just realllly rubbed me the wrong way after that weekend.
But anyway... The good part is, all the drunkies past out by like midnight, around which time this guy Donny showed up. Taryn had been telling me she wanted to hook me up with him, but he's totally not my type. Really nice guy, just...not my type. So anyway, me, Carrie, Donny and George were the only people still awake. And we were just getting started! I mean, Donny had just arrived, and Carrie and I were just getting our buzz on and I guess George must have gotten a second wind or something. Lol. So we decided to go swimming. And we were having noodle fights, and goofing off when suddenly all the lights went off. I mean utter pitch blackness. We're in the middle of nowhere! The lights for the pool, patio and cabana were all on a timer so they went off at like 2am or something. So we're all just floating silently in the pool like, "What do we do now?" Haha. Then we noticed the sky.
OH.MY.GOD.
I have never seen a sky so beautiful in all my life. It was like we could see every star in the universe! The whole Milky Way, the planets...It was just breath taking. So we all just kind of lay there on pool floats, staring at the sky for who knows how long. It was really an experience. Did I mention we'd smoked some "potpourri" earlier? Lol. I mean the sky really was that awesome, but our heightened state of mind probably made it even more mind-boggling.

Eventually Carrie and I decided to turn in. And the beds were soooo comfortable! I didn't wanna get up in the morning, but I was too hyped about horseback riding to stay in bed! And we finally got to ride! Dahmer and I were the only ones actually interested in riding, but still. It felt so great to be back on a horse. It's been so long! ((Sigh)) I miss riding.
After that, we were all sweaty and gross, so of course we jumped back in the pool for one last dip before hitting the road. Oh, I and I feel like I should mention that Taryn did apologize to everyone for her Little Miss Princess attitude the day before. Which of course, was due to over consumption. Lol.
Before we all left, there was icecream cake for Rory's birthday, and we all thanked Rory's family for putting up with us. On the drive home, the whole gang stopped for some good ole' Texas BBQ. I had my dad pick me up from Taryn and Dahmer's place. And when I got back home, with the intention of napping, I found I couldn't sleep. My shoulders were burned for one, and I wanted to catch up on the blog while the memories were still fresh! :)
But now I'm back in Chi-Town, and finally caught up on my rest. Ahhh...
It really was a great week.

Living With It

Last night, against my better judgement, I met up with Will, Lane, and Rose at the theater. The show was actually hilarious, so I am glad I went. I still chuckle when I think about it... Lol. But anyway, Will went home afterwards, as usual, but Lane and Rose wanted to grab a drink somewhere. So we headed back to the Ginger Man, as per usual, and each grabbed a beer. I was determined to not let it be awkward, and it wasn't. Granted, Rose was there as a buffer, and I really like her, she's funny and we have a lot in common. But things with Lane seem to be actually, completely normal now. Thank god. At one point we even ended up alone, when Rose went to the bathroom. And we just kept the conversation going, no big deal.
What I've noticed about him though is he's kind of full of himself. I mean he's always talking about himself in a flattering way, and it's starting to get kind of annoying. For example, he went in to apply for a barrister position, and left with an audition to be the lead in a play. I've heard him tell that story like 6 times. Seriously. And he's always talking about how he knows all these important people, and how all these opportunities are always dropping into his lap. He even told me (half-jokingly) that he hopes he dies at 27 (which just happens to be my age!) because Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix died at 27 and they're some of the most famous people in history. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! He is ridiculous! I told him maybe he should work on becoming famous before he starts planning his untimely death. ((Rolls eyes))
I dunno...it could be just that I've been searching for some kind of flaw in him that I can cling to with an iron grip to help me get over him. But I'm like...80% over him already. So maybe it's working? Or maybe he really is just totally full of himself.
I just feel a tinge of regret for never asking him what the deal is. Not about "us", but about why he suddenly pulled away. But I could never ask him that. That would be completely foolish. And I guess that's what every girl wants to know when a guy suddenly, mysteriously loses interest. And it's just one of those things I'll never learn the answer to and I'll just have to live with it.

Mind Over Matter

Since I made the decision to stop worrying about Lane, and get on with my life, things have actually, surprisingly, been easier. Tonight, class was fun again, and I did way better than last week. Lane and I kind of avoided each other's eyes, but it wasn't like I was chatting it up with anyone else in the class. I just tried to pay attention and stick with the program, all personal feelings aside. I did have to do a one-on-one scene with Lane though, and I was super nervous, and freaking out a little, but once we got started it was like nothing had ever happened, and we were just classmates again. So that was a relief, as far as class is concerned anyway.
After class a group of us went out for dinner and beers, like we used to, and it actually seemed like things might be getting back to normal. In the end it was me, Rose (who recently broke things off with JJ), Lane and Will. So pretty much the usual group. We only stayed till about 11:30 and then we all went home. Will left us at the stop light, and I walked with Rose and Langston, since their train stop was on the way to my house. When we got to the train, I started to say my goodbyes.

"Wait, where are you going?" Lane asked, looking a little confused.

"Home..." I said.

"On the train?" He asked.

"No, I live like 2 blocks from here." I said, giving him a look that clearly said, "Remember??"

"Ohhhh, right." He laughed almost uncomfortably, "Well Will and I are going to the show again tomorrow night if you wanna go."

"Of course you are." I teased. They both have idolizing crushes on the guy-girl improv duo that performs every Tuesday.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow," Rose said, "Do you wanna go?" She looked at me expectantly.

I was actually planning to skip tomorrow, just to put some distance between Lane and I, but instead I agreed, not wanting to be left out should everyone decide to actually do something tomorrow night.
So I guess I'm meeting them tomorrow night at the theater. Still not really sold on it though. I would almost rather just hang out at home and save money, than spend an awkward 2 hours with Lane, trying to decide how I should act. ((Sigh)) Oh well. I guess I'd rather us get through the awkward phase and just go back to how things were sooner than later. Mind over matter.

Is There a Such Thing as Too Much Fun??

OMG, last night was hilarious!! After class, our same group went out for drinks again, and after the bar closed, we all piled (literally, we piled) into a cab and headed over to JJ's house. I don't know who's idea this was, but once people started getting into the cab, we all just sort of followed. So JJ warned us that his place was a bit messy, and you know, that's what everyone says when they have last minute and/or unexpected company.

But OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.

I have NEVER seen a house so messy in my ENTIRE LIFE!!!

In my drunken stupor, the first thing I said when I walked in was, "Are you guys like...hoarders or something??" Lol. To which Bruce chuckled nervously, and Lane laughed uproariously at. Bruce was literally about to wig out. He was just staring at his surroundings with this shell-shocked look on his face, and muttering to himself. Lol. It was so funny.
But I'm not kidding. I don't think I could even begin to describe the mess. There were just PILES AND PILES of SHIT EVERYWHERE!!!! LOL. It looked like a LANDFILL!

So we all started playing this game. Bruce would pick up 2 random items, and I would snap a picture. Lol. The next day, the pictures were a real riot to look through. Here are a couple of examples:
An aerosol butane can and Welch's Concorde Grape Jelly (Yes it was open, No it wasn't refrigerated)
A dirty steak knife and Old Spice Swagger deodorant
A box cutter and a vaporizer (for marijuana)
A can of Pringles and a vacuum cleaner hose
An empty Fruit Loops box and a tub of white acrylic paint

So, you get the picture, right? It was like walking into an Eye Spy book! So we hung out there for a while, until Bruce finally freaked out.

"Don't you people have jobs?! Responsibilities?! I have to get up in 3 hours!!"
LMAO!

So we all trickled out shortly after Bruce caught a cab, which was around 4:00 in the morning. So it was me, Antonio and Lane, walking towards...?? And Antonio had to go the opposite direction from Lane and I.
And then there were two...

"Do you know where we are?" I asked him, "Because I don't. I totally wasn't paying attention when we were in that cab on the way here."

"Yea, I don't live too far from here. I can walk you to the train." He offered.

So we walked, and chatted companionably to the Red Line stop. When we got there, we stood outside the Red Line stop talking for an hour and a half! The sun was coming up! I don't even remember what we were talking about. Anything. And everything! We could have seriously kept talking for probably another few hours, but the sun was coming up! Lol.

"Well, I should probably get going, since it's sunrise and all." I finally said.

"Yea... Well there's a really good show Wednesday at the theater. I know some of the guys were talking about checking it out, if you're down." He said.

"Yea, that sounds like fun! Here," I handed him my phone, "Give me your number, and I'll text you tomorrow, and we'll iron out the details."
We exchanged numbers, and then, finally I walked through the turnstile. When I got up onto the platform, I could still see Lane, walking down the street towards the rising sun, and I sighed to myself, and smiled.