Monday, July 18, 2011

Mind Over Matter

Since I made the decision to stop worrying about Lane, and get on with my life, things have actually, surprisingly, been easier. Tonight, class was fun again, and I did way better than last week. Lane and I kind of avoided each other's eyes, but it wasn't like I was chatting it up with anyone else in the class. I just tried to pay attention and stick with the program, all personal feelings aside. I did have to do a one-on-one scene with Lane though, and I was super nervous, and freaking out a little, but once we got started it was like nothing had ever happened, and we were just classmates again. So that was a relief, as far as class is concerned anyway.
After class a group of us went out for dinner and beers, like we used to, and it actually seemed like things might be getting back to normal. In the end it was me, Rose (who recently broke things off with JJ), Lane and Will. So pretty much the usual group. We only stayed till about 11:30 and then we all went home. Will left us at the stop light, and I walked with Rose and Langston, since their train stop was on the way to my house. When we got to the train, I started to say my goodbyes.

"Wait, where are you going?" Lane asked, looking a little confused.

"Home..." I said.

"On the train?" He asked.

"No, I live like 2 blocks from here." I said, giving him a look that clearly said, "Remember??"

"Ohhhh, right." He laughed almost uncomfortably, "Well Will and I are going to the show again tomorrow night if you wanna go."

"Of course you are." I teased. They both have idolizing crushes on the guy-girl improv duo that performs every Tuesday.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow," Rose said, "Do you wanna go?" She looked at me expectantly.

I was actually planning to skip tomorrow, just to put some distance between Lane and I, but instead I agreed, not wanting to be left out should everyone decide to actually do something tomorrow night.
So I guess I'm meeting them tomorrow night at the theater. Still not really sold on it though. I would almost rather just hang out at home and save money, than spend an awkward 2 hours with Lane, trying to decide how I should act. ((Sigh)) Oh well. I guess I'd rather us get through the awkward phase and just go back to how things were sooner than later. Mind over matter.

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