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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Discouraged

So Lane texted me today asking if I would do headshots for him. And of course I said yes. He got an audition for the lead role in some play, so he needs them ASAP. So we chatted about that for a bit, and then made plans to meet before the show, so we could talk about it.

So when I went to meet him, expecting it to just be the 2 of us, Will was there. Which was fine, cuz I love Will, I just...wasn't expecting him to be there. And Lane acted weird and standoffish AGAIN tonight. We all went out for one drink, but there was this other girl with us, I can't even remember her name. She was nice, and cute, with plastic framed glasses. But it just seemed like our whole dynamic was sort of thrown, cuz I didn't know her, and neither did Will I don't think. Or maybe he did, I dunno. But we met up with her friends afterwards, and none of us knew them. And they were all wasted.

So we're sitting at the table with them, and Lane was talking to one of the guys, and to that girl, but he wasn't paying all that much attention to me, and I was starting to get really discouraged. So when Will said he was heading out, I said I would go with him. So he and I took the train together. We both get off at the same stop. And the whole time I wanted so badly to ask him about Lane! You know, to get the dets, and see if he knows anything that I don't. But I didn't have the guts to bring it up, and I wasn't even sure if he knew anything about Lane and I.

But when I got home, I saw that Will was on FB chat, so I messaged him and came clean. He said Lane never told him anything, but that he suspected. He didn't have any info for me though, just that he knows Lane has had a really strange week. ((Sigh))
I'm just feeling like I should walk away now, before this gets worse. I'm not really getting any encouraging signals from Lane at this point, and I don't wanna go out on a limb and get shot down. That would just...really fuck me up right now and I don't think I could deal with it.

So for now, I'm putting on the brakes with Lane. I'm just going to wait and see what happens. He is going to have to make the next move, and it's going to have to be a big one because I'm done. I'm done flirting, done texting, done playing Words With Friends with him, done cleaning my room and making my bed in the hopes that he'll come over later. I'm just done trying.

I'm not gonna lie though, I'm sad.

4 comments:

MeMeMe said...

Girl, you've known Lane all of 2 seconds...give it some time. He told you he had a weird weekend. Give him time to process and digest whatever is going on with him. Just go with the flow and quit stressing over something which obviously isn't about you. He will come around.

Ashley said...

That sucks. It sounds like more is going on with him than meets the eye. Don't put yourself out there if he isn't, though.

Guys can be such douchebags.

Anonymous said...

That seems like a good plan, I think should you just back off for a bit and let him make whatever move he is possibly thinking of making. You've made your feelings clear so you shouldn't have to do anything more and you shouldn't worry about getting any more info from Lane or possibly Will about Lane. If Lane wants to share what is going on with him then he will, until then just let it be. I mean if I'm interpreting the timeline correctly you and Lane still don't know each other all that well so it's not as if he owes you anything, especially if it's super personal. I would just keep going out and having fun and push Lane to the back of your mind.

-janelle

Jennifer said...

I know this is kind of lame... but I totally went AWW when you said you guys play words with friends. only cause it's a fun, cute game to keep going on over a long period of time. ALSO I think it's good you're putting on the breaks. No reason to devotes oneself into something that isn't anything yet!!!