Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Living With It

Last night, against my better judgement, I met up with Will, Lane, and Rose at the theater. The show was actually hilarious, so I am glad I went. I still chuckle when I think about it... Lol. But anyway, Will went home afterwards, as usual, but Lane and Rose wanted to grab a drink somewhere. So we headed back to the Ginger Man, as per usual, and each grabbed a beer. I was determined to not let it be awkward, and it wasn't. Granted, Rose was there as a buffer, and I really like her, she's funny and we have a lot in common. But things with Lane seem to be actually, completely normal now. Thank god. At one point we even ended up alone, when Rose went to the bathroom. And we just kept the conversation going, no big deal.
What I've noticed about him though is he's kind of full of himself. I mean he's always talking about himself in a flattering way, and it's starting to get kind of annoying. For example, he went in to apply for a barrister position, and left with an audition to be the lead in a play. I've heard him tell that story like 6 times. Seriously. And he's always talking about how he knows all these important people, and how all these opportunities are always dropping into his lap. He even told me (half-jokingly) that he hopes he dies at 27 (which just happens to be my age!) because Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, and Jimi Hendrix died at 27 and they're some of the most famous people in history. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! He is ridiculous! I told him maybe he should work on becoming famous before he starts planning his untimely death. ((Rolls eyes))
I dunno...it could be just that I've been searching for some kind of flaw in him that I can cling to with an iron grip to help me get over him. But I'm like...80% over him already. So maybe it's working? Or maybe he really is just totally full of himself.
I just feel a tinge of regret for never asking him what the deal is. Not about "us", but about why he suddenly pulled away. But I could never ask him that. That would be completely foolish. And I guess that's what every girl wants to know when a guy suddenly, mysteriously loses interest. And it's just one of those things I'll never learn the answer to and I'll just have to live with it.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

I think we always find flaws after the fact. It's a coping mechanism, and certainly understandable in your situation. Don't ask him about you two though. You're right, every girl wants too. But if you're smart you won't because I'm sure it would make "normal" turn to "awkward" real fast.