So he came over around 2 and we both hopped into bed! We goofed off, I made fun of him for being so drunk the night before, we had some amazing sex, and then we just started talking.
And I mentioned something to him about how he never likes to give anything away. If I wanna know something, I have to ask him very directly.
"It's not that I'm afraid to talk about my feelings or anything I just don't...I dunno, I don't say much." He said.
"You don't say much??? Are you kidding me?!" I teased.
"Well I didn't mean it like that!" He said, and we both started laughing.
"Let me ask you something." He said, "What do you want from me?"
"Don't ask me that." I said.
I was so shocked that the conversation was heading in that direction, and that he was the one to bring it up! I mean normally, it's me who brings up the whole "what are we and where is this going" conversation, and it never bodes well. So I'd already decided to just leave it alone and wait things out. But here he was, asking me straight up what I wanted!
"Why can't I ask you that??" He asked.
"Well, what do you want from me?" I countered.
"Hey, I asked you first!"
"Yea, but if you're going to ask me something like that, you better be prepared to answer it yourself. So you go first." I said with a hint of finality.
"Ok..." He paused as if to consider the question. "Well, I really like you. I mean you're fun, and I think you're hot, and I dig your personality. I don't know why guys don't go after you.
"Unless they do!" He blurted, interrupting his own thoughts, "I mean, do you go out on dates?"
I sighed, "That's the problem with guys today. They don't ask girls out on dates anymore."
"Well I'd like to take you out on some dates. I mean honestly, I'm not trying to rush into anything but I'd like to see where this goes..." He smiled. "I'm not gonna hide my feelings from you anymore, ok?? The more time I spend with you, the more I'm drawn to you."
My heart was pounding so hard against my rib cage I was almost certain he'd hear it. I mean no guy has ever been so honest, and so sweet at the same time. I've never been so happy to hear that from someone, because I could just tell how much he meant it. Usually guys don't like to talk about commitments, or the future, or any of that stuff. But he doesn't shy away from it at all!
All I could do was smile at him and kiss him.
We had some more sex, and then we finally got out of bed. We goofed off in the shower together, and talked some more; about our past relationships, about what we want out of life, stuff like that. And it's like we've reached some new plane, where the unknown isn't scary, and we don't have to second guess our words or actions. I can confidently invite him over, and not have to worry about seeming too available. I can cuddle with him in bed without worrying about him thinking I'm too clingy. I can tell him what I'm thinking and how I feel, without being insecure, or sounding desperate.
It's just so...perfect.
He took me out to dinner last night, and then we rode to work together. And of course, he came home with me after work too.
I think, I may have landed myself in a relationship that may actually last.
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love,
And be loved in return