So my friend Lauren who lives here recently found out that her dad has cancer. He started chemo a couple weeks ago, but on Thursday his doctors told them that his liver has completely shut down and they're stopping chemo, and he has 2-3 weeks left. She said she doesn't want sympathy or the "Are you ok?" treatment, she just wants to take her mind off it every once in a while. So Saturday night, we went out. I had to shoot a concert that night, but I met up with Lauren and her friends afterwards around 10:30. We hit a couple spots and then Lauren said she wanted to go Frenchman, so I loaded up all of us in my car and drove us down there. I'd only had 1 drink at this point, so still good to drive. Well as soon as I got us there and parked, Lauren said she needed to go home. She's the kind drinker where when she says, "I gotta go home", she really means it. Lol. If she doesn't go home, she'll either get sick or pass out somewhere. So she left with the guy she was with, and then it was just me and this other dude who I'd just met, and wasn't into. I mean, he was nice, but like... I wouldn't have wanted to go out on the town alone with him or anything. But I had just parked my car, and it was only midnight, so me and the dude decided to at least have 1 drink on Frenchman. So we walked into the closest bar. There was a live band playing and people dancing, and it was crowded. As we were making our way through the crowd, I noticed a group of like 4 or 5 guys, dancing, sans girls, on the dancefloor and just being goofy. And one of those guys was HOT. I made a mental note of this. He looks like a cross between The Model and Brandon Boyd from Incubus. ((Drool)) So I hit the ladies and the guy went to grab us drinks and then we chatted a bit. Then he said he needed to use the restroom, so I figured I would take that opportunity to see if the hot guy was still around. Well the dance floor was crowded enough that I was able to brush right by his friend, and he just happened to be wearing a pair of Luna Lovegood glasses. So I immediately asked him about the glasses, and boom! Conversation with hot guy was on. His name is Chris. We chatted about Harry Potter, music, and other silly things. And he kept saying he thought it was super cool that I was alone at the bar, even after I explained to him that I didn't actually show up alone. Of course, it turns out he doesn't live here. HE LIVES IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA. Ugh. But he's in tv production, and working on a show here until September. WORTH IT. Lol. So we had a few shots, and then things get a little fuzzy... I ended up going back to his hotel with him, and we had a pretty awesome time. It was after 6am by the time we went to sleep and he was supposed to be at work at 8:30 Sunday morning. Yea, that didn't happen lol. He says he set his alarm, but neither of us heard it and he shot out of bed at 9am in a panic. I was a bit hungover, but mostly just tired, and I had to work at noon. So after I left, he texted me! He said he wanted to see me again. So I worked, napped, showered, he did the same, and we met for dinner. Annnnd I spent another night with him.
Except this time things didn't go so smoothly...
My hungover self went through the drive through and ordered a fucking cheeseburger on my way home Sunday morning. I'm a pescatarian. I never eat meat. I felt ok though. Until after dinner. Then my stomach got the lurches and I was starting to worry. But it seemed to go away for a while, until we got back to his place. I had to take a shit. I just couldn't hold it! Lol. And he's staying at an extended stay hotel, not like a house, so the bathroom isn't as private and isolated as it could be! Luckily the exhaust fan turns on automatically with the lights, and Chris was playing music (Jeff Buckley - swoon!) so I figured I had a chance!
*DISCLAIMER* If you don't find toilet humor funny, you should stop reading now.
So I sit down on the toilet, and immediately I can tell that it's not going to be quiet. But I have this theory, that if you pull your ass cheeks apart, your farts will just escape silently, because there's no friction! It actually does work, if it's a dry fart, but that was not the case. It wasn't like a classic BBRRRRFFFT! fart noise that came out. It was abrupt and echoed in the toilet bowl, but still could be misconstrued as me knocking over the trash can, or perhaps opening the toilet lid. So I sat, frozen in mortification for a moment, hoping Chris didn't hear. But there was more. A couple more. Not as loud as the first, but still. UGhhhh, I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I just NEEDED to get it out, I knew as soon as I did I would be 100%, but I didn't have the time or proper isolation to just take a shit! So I shat conservatively and then left the bathroom after what seemed not TOO long. I was just hoping against hope that he hadn't heard or noticed what had just happened.
And he actually seemed totally normal. But then things started getting a little hot and heavy, and I was so sure that I was going to let one rip mid coitus, that I couldn't relax or enjoy myself. ((Sigh)) I mean, we still had fun, but it was mostly strictly missionary position for me, or I risked literally shitting the bed lol.
So finally we "went to sleep". Not me. I laid there literally holding in my poop for hours. Waiting for it to either go away, or for Chris to fall asleep so I could go back to the bathroom. But then I realized it wasn't just poop anymore. My bladder was also quite full, and the pressure of a full bladder really wasn't helping my current situation! So I figured it was safe to get up and have a pee.
But again, once I was on the toilet, I knew what was coming. A big shit was coming, that's what. So I peed first and then waited till I knew it was going to all come out and I timed the flushing of the toilet with that moment so that he wouldn't hear it. I mean he was sleeping, but still. Success!! Or so I thought... I obviously still had to wipe and flush the toilet again. And when I did...nothing was going down! So there was just a big blob of poopy toilet paper floating in there! And no plunger. So I'm standing there whispering, "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" to myself as I frantically search around the tiny hotel bathroom for something...to what? I don't know! I waited till the water stopped and tried to flush again. Still nothing. FUCK! So I carefully and quietly took the lid off the tank and slowly lifted the lever to keep the water draining. That didn't work either, but fortunately, all the replacing of the water left what seemed to be clean toilet paper instead of shitty toilet paper. So I tried to carefully and quietly replace the tank lid. NOPE! LOUD FUCKING CLANKING PORCELAIN SOUND. UGHHHHH FML!!! Literally, "fuck it", is what I thought, and in the most clandestine moment of quick thinking I came up with a story. I hurried out of the bathroom, seemingly worried.
"Hey! Are you awake?" I whispered to him hoarsely. No answer, so I shook him a little, "Hey!"
"Hmmm...?" Either he was deeply asleep, or he's a really good actor, but he seemed totally out of it.
"Uhhh...earlier, did you happen to uh...feel anything inside me?"
"Huh? What you mean, like your birth control?"
"Yea, my ring. I can't find it."
"Well it was definitely there earlier."
"Well sometimes it can become...dislodged during sex. And usually I just check to make sure it's there afterward, but we fell asleep so I didn't. And I just spent like the better part of 13 minutes in the bathroom digging around in my vagina and I couldn't feel it. And then I think I may have put too much toilet paper in the toilet cuzzz it won't flush."
He still looked pretty out of it, but my worried act must've been convincing.
"Ok...well it was definitely there before. I felt it."
"Ok. Well...it could be in the bed. Or...possibly in the toilet."
"Do you need to look in the bed for it?"
"No, it's fine. I can look in the morning. Sorry about the toilet."
"Don't worry about it."
And we went to sleep. And this time, I actually slept. And I think he really did buy that story!!
So this morning, he got up to pee. I heard him flush the toilet, but I could tell it wasn't really flushing. When he came back from the bathroom, he said, "I guess I need to get maintenance up here. Did you ever find your ring?"
"Uhhhh no, but it's fine. I'll check later."
So we laid in bed talking for like 2 hours, and then finally he said he couldn't lay in bed anymore. I actually think he may have needed to take a shit because he called the maintenance person first thing. And I also really just wanted to sit on a toilet privately for a while. Lol. So he walked me to my car, which was sweet, and kissed me goodbye. A LOT. And he said, "Let's hang out again soon." And I, of course, acquiesced.
We texted some more after I got home and finally farted and shat and all that good stuff lol. UGH. I still can't believe that happened to me. Coulda been worse though I guess...
Well I do hope I see him again. I told him I have a whole list of restaurants he needs to try and he said we should start the tour on his next day off. So we'll see...
In other news, Adam. We've been having the same conversation all week. Are you home? No. Are you still sick? Yes. Have you been to the doctor? No. Why not?? I don't have time, but I'm seriously dying. Wah Wah WAhhhhh...
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. ((Sigh))
It's starting to get really old. My prediction for this weekend is he'll spend it in bed, being sick, instead of taking me out, because he refused to go to the doctor and get some fucking antibiotics. Which means, I'll hang out with Chris again, if that's an option. We'll see...
I honestly haven't had this much excitement or activity in my dating life in years. It must be the 20 lbs I lost. I really need to keep that weight off, so help me God!
Showing posts with label Cali. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cali. Show all posts
Monday, March 21, 2016
Saturday, March 12, 2016
FUCK YOU, CALIFORNIA!!
He's gonna fucking move there, I can just feel it. UGGGGHHHH... This does not bode well.
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
I Have a Plan
Things are starting to feel more normal for me. Partly because I'm back on my anxiety meds, which I stopped taking when Lane was here because of all the boozing we were doing, and partly because the sun is out and shining again. We had several weeks of dreary, rainy weather, and I think I suffer a bit from seasonal depression. So sunshine helps. But mainly, I think it's because things seem back to normal with Lane and I. We are talking regularly again, just like we used to. So yes, I was probably just doing what I always do and overanalyzing/overreacting.
But I've also done a lot of thinking. I started asking myself those hard questions some of you mentioned. Why am I unhappy? What do I think would make me happy? How do I go about doing the things that will make me happy?
A lot of that revolved around Lane, but a lot of it revolves around just me, obviously. I feel stuck. Like I haven't accomplished much in the last year, which is rubbish really, because I know that I have accomplished a lot photography-wise. But it isn't enough. I want to be better. I want to be more desireable to a company. And of course, I need to be more stable financially. I don't want to pull away from things due to fear. I talked with Izzie a lot about the Lane situation too, and we got way ahead of ourselves of course, but she said that's important for women to do. To think way ahead. And maybe she's right! Who knows. What I do know is that my plan is to try to go to visit Lane in March, around Spring Break cuz he should have time off from the university he works at. And if things are still going well at that point between us and we haven't lost touch, and all the chemistry and feelings are still there, then I will talk to him about dating/living in the same city. And see what he says.
I was freaking out about the idea before because initially it was like, Well I have to tell him how I feel, and see if he's into it. And then we'd have to get over the obstacle of living in different states. And that got me thinking about moving to California and how expensive it is and, What would I do there? And how would I afford to move? And where would I live? Etc. etc... And those questions were just swimming around and around in my head, and I kept checking myself like, WHY are you even worrying about this?! This is all conjecture! But then I thought, You know what, I wanna know if I can do this. I'm gonna do some research. So I did! And I can do it. I know a guy in the photo circuit there who could put me in touch with some publications, and in the meantime, there are tons of well-paying real estate photo gigs. I have plenty of experience in that. And I could always bartend until I got on my feet. There's also a couple affordable neighborhoods right outside of LA, I'd just need a roommate or 2. No big deal. The biggest obstacle, I think, would be finding a place that allows both my pets. But it's doable.
So I have a plan. Sort of. And step one of that plan is to just play it cool with Lane, not say anything to him just yet about my feelings, just...maintain the relationship, see if it grows, and plan a visit.
We've been talking the past 2 days about our respective futures, career-wise. And both of us feel kinda stuck in a rut, and we've been commiserating/offering each other advice. And we both agree that we need to step out of our comfort zones a bit, and not be afraid to make big/strange/uncomfortable life moves. And for me, that could mean going to California, who knows! I know he's mostly concerned with his career, but I know what I wanna do. That isn't the thing that's missing in my life. But at least after that conversation, maybe the idea of me moving there won't come as a huge shock to him should I suggest it.
But I've also done a lot of thinking. I started asking myself those hard questions some of you mentioned. Why am I unhappy? What do I think would make me happy? How do I go about doing the things that will make me happy?
A lot of that revolved around Lane, but a lot of it revolves around just me, obviously. I feel stuck. Like I haven't accomplished much in the last year, which is rubbish really, because I know that I have accomplished a lot photography-wise. But it isn't enough. I want to be better. I want to be more desireable to a company. And of course, I need to be more stable financially. I don't want to pull away from things due to fear. I talked with Izzie a lot about the Lane situation too, and we got way ahead of ourselves of course, but she said that's important for women to do. To think way ahead. And maybe she's right! Who knows. What I do know is that my plan is to try to go to visit Lane in March, around Spring Break cuz he should have time off from the university he works at. And if things are still going well at that point between us and we haven't lost touch, and all the chemistry and feelings are still there, then I will talk to him about dating/living in the same city. And see what he says.
I was freaking out about the idea before because initially it was like, Well I have to tell him how I feel, and see if he's into it. And then we'd have to get over the obstacle of living in different states. And that got me thinking about moving to California and how expensive it is and, What would I do there? And how would I afford to move? And where would I live? Etc. etc... And those questions were just swimming around and around in my head, and I kept checking myself like, WHY are you even worrying about this?! This is all conjecture! But then I thought, You know what, I wanna know if I can do this. I'm gonna do some research. So I did! And I can do it. I know a guy in the photo circuit there who could put me in touch with some publications, and in the meantime, there are tons of well-paying real estate photo gigs. I have plenty of experience in that. And I could always bartend until I got on my feet. There's also a couple affordable neighborhoods right outside of LA, I'd just need a roommate or 2. No big deal. The biggest obstacle, I think, would be finding a place that allows both my pets. But it's doable.
So I have a plan. Sort of. And step one of that plan is to just play it cool with Lane, not say anything to him just yet about my feelings, just...maintain the relationship, see if it grows, and plan a visit.
We've been talking the past 2 days about our respective futures, career-wise. And both of us feel kinda stuck in a rut, and we've been commiserating/offering each other advice. And we both agree that we need to step out of our comfort zones a bit, and not be afraid to make big/strange/uncomfortable life moves. And for me, that could mean going to California, who knows! I know he's mostly concerned with his career, but I know what I wanna do. That isn't the thing that's missing in my life. But at least after that conversation, maybe the idea of me moving there won't come as a huge shock to him should I suggest it.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Water Under The Bridge
I appreciate everyone's advice and insight about Cali, but really...it's all just water under the bridge now. If you all remember, we never really had that spark anyways. I don't hate him for not telling me, it just kind of makes me second guess myself, because I knew there had to be something he wasn't telling me! The signs were there. You know, whenever I would ask him questions about his life, he would always turn the conversation around, and deflect my questions back to me. And I always felt like he knew so much more about me, than I knew about him. And that's just not fair. Plus, it just didn't seem feasible that an attractive 31-year old guy with a good job could still be on the market. So I'm kind of kicking myself in the ass for not thinking about that stuff. Oh, and let's not forget, I have dated a guy with a kid before, (Daniel!) and I was totally ok with it. Because I knew about her, going into the relationship.
But really, it doesn't matter, because Cali and I both agreed that things weren't really lifting off. He did send me a couple drunk text messages on New Year's Eve. They just said things like, "i'm soreryr Peyton. im an asshloe." I had to tell him to stop texting me. That was another thing that bothered me. His drinking habits/drunk text messaging. So juvenile! But whatever, it doesn't matter. Maybe Cali and I can be friends later down the line, but you have to understand how this makes me feel, because...here I was spending all this time with this guy, against my gut instinct, trying to give him a chance and spilling my guts to him and...I totally put myself out there, and he didn't at all. That just...wasn't fair to me. So for now, I don't foresee us talking any time soon.
Last night at work was decent. It was the old crew working! Brandon was out of town (yay!) so I didn't have to work with him, and most of the newer bartenders were off. So we were kickin' it old school last night, and it was lots of fun. Ali and I got a little tipsy while doing inventory. Lol. And something I haven't mentioned yet... Gavin and I have been having some interesting text message conversations lately. Very flirtatious, very...enticing. Hehe. I anticipate a tryst finally culminating after years of sexual tension and bad timing. Lol.
The thing I've always liked about Gavin is that he's so humble. He's hot, but completely unaware of that, and he's funny, and very down to earth. And ever since we both got dumped, at about the same time, we've sort of bonded through our commiseration. Lol. So...I am interested to see where this is headed. Definitely not looking for a relationship with him, but maybe just a little fun.
Law School is coming home today too. I wonder if I'll hear from him? I'm supposed to hang out with Greg today. We both have off work, but right now I'm just sitting on my couch in my PJ's watching Todd's football game. I really miss Todd! Now that he's pseudo-famous and he's always so busy, we hardly ever get to talk anymore. Sucks... I talk to his little bro more than him now!
Well I made a sketch in Photoshop of my New Year's Eve dress! I got a pen touch pad for Christmas and it's awesome! So I just sketched this over an actual picture. Tell me what you think!
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Dime: 20twentyten10
So I was right to be pissed, because apparently his marriage wasn't the only thing he was keeping from me. This is the last email he sent me:
Peyton,
Thank you for the email. I appreciate your honesty, and I'm saddened by what I've done to make you believe I can't be trusted, or that everything you know about me is based on half truths. Here it is, my story...
I met Britney (my ex) 6 years ago while out with a bunch of friends in San Diego; she was our waitress at a restaurant/bar. She was finishing up school and I was fresh off a two month stint at sea (oil tanker). She was one of the coolest girls I had ever met...snowboarded, surfed, mountain biked, quoted funny movies, etc. However, what was lacking was a strong physical attraction, which I discredited as superficial and unimportant (I was wrong). We dated for three years and decided to get married in 2006. The key word there is "decided." Another lesson I had to learn the hard way. It was an ultimatum she had given me that I approached from a pros and cons standpoint, something I thought was logical and made sense; once again, not something I will ever do again. Our marriage, in fact our entire relationship, was based on a strong friendship, which is usually a good thing, as long as you're intimate as well. We were not. She was my best friend/sister, and that's how I treated her. To put things in perspective, in our three years of marriage we had sex probably a grand total of 20 times (and that's rounding up). About a year ago we had a son, and I decided to leave my life at sea and officially settle down. I took a job at [oil company's] headquarters in Houston, and we left our life in San Diego. The move to Texas was tough for both of us, but more so for her. I was traveling a lot and she felt isolated, away from family and friends. She started traveling back to California, for one month stints, and our relationship started to spiral out of control. I resented her for leaving all the time and she resented me for traveling and not taking all my vacation time. Then, while she was away in California for a month, I cheated on her.
Any excuse I give to why I did it or the circumstances under which it happened would only cheapen my deep remorse and sincerity for it ever happening. It was a cowardly and selfish act on my part and proved to be the final straw in our relationship. Do I think our marriage would have survived had I not done that? No. But I could have, and should have, handled it differently. The saddest part is that a child is involved; the sweetest, most precious, beautiful boy in the world has to suffer because of me. The divorce was very cordial, and I credit Britney with that. She could have handled it differently. We went to a mediator and had the papers drawn up...no court battles with attorneys, just a simple exchange of hands. She moved back to California and took our son and our dog with her. I fly to California as often as possible to see him.
There is a permanent tear in my heart because of what I've done and the hurt I have caused to both her and my son. I miss him immensely and love him with all my heart. When I was at your bar, the night I met you, I wasn't there to meet anyone, but I guess that's how it happens. I've learned so much about myself and what I need to do and how to act in order to have a healthy and loving relationship. That unfortunately was not the case when I met Brit, and most likely would not have been realized had I not gone through the pain I just went through (and caused).
That Peyton, is the weight in my back pack, and I'm so sorry you had to read about it in an email. It's emotional baggage that I am very ashamed of, and hard for me to share. But please believe me when I say I am doing everything I can to be a much better person, so that I never hurt anyone like this ever again. If I never hear from you again, I understand. I'm sorry.
[Cali]
That's touching and all, but kids are something you have to be up front about from the beginning. For some people, that's a major deal breaker, and you have to be fair, and honest about something that serious. Also, why would you want to keep your kid a secret? I mean, most people I know who have kids can't wait to talk about them! And I think that is just...weird. So, anyway, I doubt that I will be continuing to talk to Cali anymore after that revelation.
Peyton,
Thank you for the email. I appreciate your honesty, and I'm saddened by what I've done to make you believe I can't be trusted, or that everything you know about me is based on half truths. Here it is, my story...
I met Britney (my ex) 6 years ago while out with a bunch of friends in San Diego; she was our waitress at a restaurant/bar. She was finishing up school and I was fresh off a two month stint at sea (oil tanker). She was one of the coolest girls I had ever met...snowboarded, surfed, mountain biked, quoted funny movies, etc. However, what was lacking was a strong physical attraction, which I discredited as superficial and unimportant (I was wrong). We dated for three years and decided to get married in 2006. The key word there is "decided." Another lesson I had to learn the hard way. It was an ultimatum she had given me that I approached from a pros and cons standpoint, something I thought was logical and made sense; once again, not something I will ever do again. Our marriage, in fact our entire relationship, was based on a strong friendship, which is usually a good thing, as long as you're intimate as well. We were not. She was my best friend/sister, and that's how I treated her. To put things in perspective, in our three years of marriage we had sex probably a grand total of 20 times (and that's rounding up). About a year ago we had a son, and I decided to leave my life at sea and officially settle down. I took a job at [oil company's] headquarters in Houston, and we left our life in San Diego. The move to Texas was tough for both of us, but more so for her. I was traveling a lot and she felt isolated, away from family and friends. She started traveling back to California, for one month stints, and our relationship started to spiral out of control. I resented her for leaving all the time and she resented me for traveling and not taking all my vacation time. Then, while she was away in California for a month, I cheated on her.
Any excuse I give to why I did it or the circumstances under which it happened would only cheapen my deep remorse and sincerity for it ever happening. It was a cowardly and selfish act on my part and proved to be the final straw in our relationship. Do I think our marriage would have survived had I not done that? No. But I could have, and should have, handled it differently. The saddest part is that a child is involved; the sweetest, most precious, beautiful boy in the world has to suffer because of me. The divorce was very cordial, and I credit Britney with that. She could have handled it differently. We went to a mediator and had the papers drawn up...no court battles with attorneys, just a simple exchange of hands. She moved back to California and took our son and our dog with her. I fly to California as often as possible to see him.
There is a permanent tear in my heart because of what I've done and the hurt I have caused to both her and my son. I miss him immensely and love him with all my heart. When I was at your bar, the night I met you, I wasn't there to meet anyone, but I guess that's how it happens. I've learned so much about myself and what I need to do and how to act in order to have a healthy and loving relationship. That unfortunately was not the case when I met Brit, and most likely would not have been realized had I not gone through the pain I just went through (and caused).
That Peyton, is the weight in my back pack, and I'm so sorry you had to read about it in an email. It's emotional baggage that I am very ashamed of, and hard for me to share. But please believe me when I say I am doing everything I can to be a much better person, so that I never hurt anyone like this ever again. If I never hear from you again, I understand. I'm sorry.
[Cali]
That's touching and all, but kids are something you have to be up front about from the beginning. For some people, that's a major deal breaker, and you have to be fair, and honest about something that serious. Also, why would you want to keep your kid a secret? I mean, most people I know who have kids can't wait to talk about them! And I think that is just...weird. So, anyway, I doubt that I will be continuing to talk to Cali anymore after that revelation.
So, now onto New Year's Eve!
Well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely hungover! Lol. I had so much fun last night though! I got tons of compliments on my dress, and nobody had one even sort of like it! I got to hang out with all my friends, be carefree, and I even kissed a boy at midnight! His name was Ross and he was only 22, but very sweet. That is, until he got wasted and started following me around everywhere. At one point, he put his arm around my neck from behind me, and then proceeded to fall down, almost taking me with him. Everyone was going, "Omg are you ok??" Because he practically choked me in the process. But...oh well. I probably won't ever see him again. It was just one of those situations where everyone around us was kissing, and we both just looked at each other and kind of shrugged like, What the hell? ya know, and so we kissed. But it was innocent, and fun! And that was before he was wasted!
Also, I got a text from Law School last night! Here's our conversation...
LS: So the word on the street is that you look super sexy tonight.
Me: Word on the street, huh? Who told you that?
LS: Can't teelll you! But that is the word on the street.
Me: I think you're just making that up cuz you KNOW I look good!
LS: Aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha... love you too Peyton.
Me: lol, so how's it up North?
LS: It's been really good! I'm actually in Chicago right now...one of my best friends talked me into coming here for NYE.
Me: What!??! Lucky!
LS: Haha...I guess.
Me: I wanna go there soooo bad! My sister lives there now and I've never been.
LS: I love Chicago.
Me: I hate you.
LS: Love you too.
I didn't respond after that. And I do have to say, in Law School's defense, that he doesn't treat me like crap. He's my friend, and a good guy. And I actually know that. I'm not sure where things are headed with us, or even where they stand right now, but he'll be back in 2 days, and hopefully I'll be able to paint a clearer picture soon.
So after we left the bar, we all went back to Ben's house. By we, I mean me, Summer, and Bethany. Then Tug came over and Bethany dumped him. THAT was a bit dramatic... But it was a long time coming. They've been together for 6 years and she was tired of waiting for him. So we decided that when our leases are up, which happens to be next October for both of us, we're gonna move into a house together! I'm excited! I've been wanting to get a house, and have a yard for Jasper to play in, but there's no way I could afford it by myself. So it works out perfectly!
Well, it's back to watching movies and eating junkfood! The perfect medicine for a hangover! :)
Happy New Year everyone!!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Dreams
Last night I had 2 really strange dreams...
First, I dreamed I lived in an apartment, right across from Law School. And I was playing with Jasper in the living room of my apartment, and I happened to notice Law School, through the window of his apartment. My blinds were halfway drawn, so he couldn't really see me, unless he was really looking. So I peaked through the blinds to see what he was doing, and there was a girl there! She had long, dark brown hair, and she would have been pretty, except that she had a really long, prominent nose. And she was wearing his shirt...and that's it. And they were flirting or whatever, and I just...couldn't take my eyes away from the window! I don't know why. And then he saw me! And he kinda waved, and I just pretended I was picking something up off the floor (Jasper's ball) and I kinda waved back. Then I left the window and went back to playing with Jasper, and suddenly, they were both in my living room. I don't know why, or how they got there, but that's dreams for ya! So anyways, I can't remember why they were there. I think I had something of his, maybe? But I was pissed, because here he was, the guy I like, with some chick, that he'd obviously just had sex with, in my living room! So I was kind of short with them. He made some blithe comment about them having sex, and I said, "Yea, I could feel the walls vibrating. Now both of you, out! I have to practice piano." And they scooted as I shooed them, and then I sat down at the piano and began playing a very melancholy song.
In my second dream, it was New Year's Eve, and I was at the club, with this guy, I have no idea who! He doesn't exist in real life, but I knew him in this dream. And the night started out kind of fun, and then before I knew it, I was sitting at the bar alone, wondering where all my friends were, and it was 11:48. Almost midnight. And I had this sudden sense of urgency, "Oh no! I have to get out of here! I have go to my bar, and kiss...kiss who?? I have no one to kiss!"
And then that strange guy that I was with, was suddenly sitting next to me, and then we were kissing. But I didn't really wanna kiss him, I just did, because he kissed me. Ugh... It was horrible.
Gee, I wonder what those 2 dreams mean??? It's so weird how dreams are such pure reflections of our thoughts. Anyways, Cali called me 3 times yesterday, and sent me a text, asking me if he was "in the dog house". I just didn't feel like talking to him. I needed time to process, and absorb, ya know? So I didn't respond. But by the time I got in bed last night, I decided I wasn't upset anymore. I mean, I understand how it can be hard to talk about something like that, and I know he wasn't trying to deceive me or anything it's just... I have lots of ex boyfriends, ok?? There's no reason for me to talk about any of them, because clearly they weren't for me! But I don't have any ex-husbands! I didn't make any lifetime commitments to anyone, or possibly have any children! But he did. And I don't think you can really compare a marriage to just a relationship, because it's so much more profound than that. But whatever, I'm over it now. When I got to work this morning, I had an email from him. This is what it said:
Peyton,
It's obvious that I've upset you, and my guess is that it's because I didn't tell you I was divorced. I'm sorry. In about a week from now you'll have forgotten all about me, and I just want you to know that I never intended to be deceptive, nor did I have any ulterior motives or bad intentions. I really liked you and I wanted to tell you when I thought it was right. It's apparent to me now that I should have said something earlier. I truly am sorry.
Take care Peyton, and I wish you all the best in 2010.
Kindest Regards,
[Cali]
Kindest regards??? Who says that?? ((sigh)) Well anyways, I wrote him back. And this is what I said:
Obviously, you're pretty good at making assumptions, but before you go off thinking that I hate you and never wanna talk to you again, let me just explain where I'm coming from.
I didn't feel like talking to you yesterday, because I needed some time to process that information, and I was afraid that if I did talk to you, I might end up saying something smarmy, sarcastic and mean. I mean, you drop a bomb on me, and then just expect me to blithely carry on a conversation with you as though it never happened??
Yea, I'm kinda pissed that you didn't tell me, because you pretty much assumed I would react a certain way, therefore making that decision for me, instead of letting me make the decision to react, however I would have reacted, on my own. You should know that that's not the type of thing you keep from someone you may possibly, eventually have a relationship with. Even if you think you wanna wait and tell them, the more you get to know a person, and the more time you spend with them, the harder it is to tell them, and the easier it is to avoid the subject, and ultimately, someone ends up getting pissed off, or hurt. Obviously, since we both agreed that this didn't seem to be going anywhere, it's not that big of a deal, but I just think you should know that, for future reference.
Also, I kind of feel like everything I thought I knew about you, all the opinions I formed about you, were based on half truths. So I kind of just wanted to think about things, and not deal with any bullshit. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a pretty no nonsense person, and I don't like people hiding things from me. I just put up with too much of that shit in the past.
And I find it hard to believe that you could just be totally over your ex-wife after only 6 months! I mean...I'm just barely over my ex, and we weren't even married.
Now, since I don't know the story, or the circumstances, I'm not going to make any assumptions about it, I just know that divorce can be a very messy, emotional situation. And while I understand you not wanting to tell me that you were married, I still don't agree with it.
I don't think you had bad intentions, or ulterior motives, and I wasn't going to just write you off and never speak to you again. But at this point, I kind of feel like you know a lot about me, and I obviously know nothing about you. So..how does that work?? I guess I'm just frustrated, and I really need a stiff drink.
So, I said my piece! He knows how I feel, and I think I put it pretty diplomatically. ((sigh)) Well, I know he already read it, but he hasn't written back yet. I'm sure he will though. But for now...it's back to work.
First, I dreamed I lived in an apartment, right across from Law School. And I was playing with Jasper in the living room of my apartment, and I happened to notice Law School, through the window of his apartment. My blinds were halfway drawn, so he couldn't really see me, unless he was really looking. So I peaked through the blinds to see what he was doing, and there was a girl there! She had long, dark brown hair, and she would have been pretty, except that she had a really long, prominent nose. And she was wearing his shirt...and that's it. And they were flirting or whatever, and I just...couldn't take my eyes away from the window! I don't know why. And then he saw me! And he kinda waved, and I just pretended I was picking something up off the floor (Jasper's ball) and I kinda waved back. Then I left the window and went back to playing with Jasper, and suddenly, they were both in my living room. I don't know why, or how they got there, but that's dreams for ya! So anyways, I can't remember why they were there. I think I had something of his, maybe? But I was pissed, because here he was, the guy I like, with some chick, that he'd obviously just had sex with, in my living room! So I was kind of short with them. He made some blithe comment about them having sex, and I said, "Yea, I could feel the walls vibrating. Now both of you, out! I have to practice piano." And they scooted as I shooed them, and then I sat down at the piano and began playing a very melancholy song.
In my second dream, it was New Year's Eve, and I was at the club, with this guy, I have no idea who! He doesn't exist in real life, but I knew him in this dream. And the night started out kind of fun, and then before I knew it, I was sitting at the bar alone, wondering where all my friends were, and it was 11:48. Almost midnight. And I had this sudden sense of urgency, "Oh no! I have to get out of here! I have go to my bar, and kiss...kiss who?? I have no one to kiss!"
And then that strange guy that I was with, was suddenly sitting next to me, and then we were kissing. But I didn't really wanna kiss him, I just did, because he kissed me. Ugh... It was horrible.
Gee, I wonder what those 2 dreams mean??? It's so weird how dreams are such pure reflections of our thoughts. Anyways, Cali called me 3 times yesterday, and sent me a text, asking me if he was "in the dog house". I just didn't feel like talking to him. I needed time to process, and absorb, ya know? So I didn't respond. But by the time I got in bed last night, I decided I wasn't upset anymore. I mean, I understand how it can be hard to talk about something like that, and I know he wasn't trying to deceive me or anything it's just... I have lots of ex boyfriends, ok?? There's no reason for me to talk about any of them, because clearly they weren't for me! But I don't have any ex-husbands! I didn't make any lifetime commitments to anyone, or possibly have any children! But he did. And I don't think you can really compare a marriage to just a relationship, because it's so much more profound than that. But whatever, I'm over it now. When I got to work this morning, I had an email from him. This is what it said:
Peyton,
It's obvious that I've upset you, and my guess is that it's because I didn't tell you I was divorced. I'm sorry. In about a week from now you'll have forgotten all about me, and I just want you to know that I never intended to be deceptive, nor did I have any ulterior motives or bad intentions. I really liked you and I wanted to tell you when I thought it was right. It's apparent to me now that I should have said something earlier. I truly am sorry.
Take care Peyton, and I wish you all the best in 2010.
Kindest Regards,
[Cali]
Kindest regards??? Who says that?? ((sigh)) Well anyways, I wrote him back. And this is what I said:
Obviously, you're pretty good at making assumptions, but before you go off thinking that I hate you and never wanna talk to you again, let me just explain where I'm coming from.
I didn't feel like talking to you yesterday, because I needed some time to process that information, and I was afraid that if I did talk to you, I might end up saying something smarmy, sarcastic and mean. I mean, you drop a bomb on me, and then just expect me to blithely carry on a conversation with you as though it never happened??
Yea, I'm kinda pissed that you didn't tell me, because you pretty much assumed I would react a certain way, therefore making that decision for me, instead of letting me make the decision to react, however I would have reacted, on my own. You should know that that's not the type of thing you keep from someone you may possibly, eventually have a relationship with. Even if you think you wanna wait and tell them, the more you get to know a person, and the more time you spend with them, the harder it is to tell them, and the easier it is to avoid the subject, and ultimately, someone ends up getting pissed off, or hurt. Obviously, since we both agreed that this didn't seem to be going anywhere, it's not that big of a deal, but I just think you should know that, for future reference.
Also, I kind of feel like everything I thought I knew about you, all the opinions I formed about you, were based on half truths. So I kind of just wanted to think about things, and not deal with any bullshit. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a pretty no nonsense person, and I don't like people hiding things from me. I just put up with too much of that shit in the past.
And I find it hard to believe that you could just be totally over your ex-wife after only 6 months! I mean...I'm just barely over my ex, and we weren't even married.
Now, since I don't know the story, or the circumstances, I'm not going to make any assumptions about it, I just know that divorce can be a very messy, emotional situation. And while I understand you not wanting to tell me that you were married, I still don't agree with it.
I don't think you had bad intentions, or ulterior motives, and I wasn't going to just write you off and never speak to you again. But at this point, I kind of feel like you know a lot about me, and I obviously know nothing about you. So..how does that work?? I guess I'm just frustrated, and I really need a stiff drink.
So, I said my piece! He knows how I feel, and I think I put it pretty diplomatically. ((sigh)) Well, I know he already read it, but he hasn't written back yet. I'm sure he will though. But for now...it's back to work.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
The Clincher
Well...the date with Cali last night didn't go exactly as I'd hoped. Well, the date itself was fine, but I was hoping it would reassure me about New Year's Eve. But it did just the opposite. And I was up all night panicking, and worrying, and second-guessing myself. So I consulted The Oracle of Izzie this morning about my dilemma, and she suggested I just tell him the truth. That he's nice, and I enjoy his company, but I'm just not...feeling it!
So I waited for him to write me an email, which he did, and then I responded in kind...
Ok, I’ve been mulling this over in my head for the past 12+ hours, and arguing with myself about it. And I know we haven’t had any conversations about this or anything, and I’m not exactly sure what your expectations are, but I really feel like I just need to be up front with you, because I don’t want to mislead you. I like you, and I think you’re a great guy, but I'm not sure I'm ready for what I think you’re looking for, and I don’t want to lead you on. I just… feel like I'm not really ready to date anyone. And that’s the God’s honest truth. I just can’t keep seeing you without letting you know how I feel. I mean, it wasn’t too long ago that I got out of a serious relationship, and right now, the idea of being with someone just kind of freaks me out. Sorry, if that sounds bad, but…I don’t really know how else to put it. I thought that I was ready to date, but I guess I’m just not. Please don't think I went into this with false intentions. I was trying to take things slowly in hopes that something would jump out at me but it still hasn’t, and I wanted to let you know. I know this is horrible timing and I’m really sorry, but I didn’t want to take it any further without being honest with you. If you decide you want to make other plans for new year’s eve, I totally understand, and I won’t be mad or anything. It’s completely up to you.
I sent him that from my work email address, and then forwarded it Izzie, from my private account. When I went back to my private account, I noticed I had a message from Cali, received at almost the exact time I sent him mine! This is what it said:
Peyton,
I just called your cell, but no answer.
I had a good time last night, but I get that feeling we're still testing the waters in terms of where this will go…friends, more than friends, etc.? At least that's how I feel. My point is, if you're not feeling it, and would rather just spend NYE with your friends, I certainly understand. There will be plenty of other times we can hang out and see if there's something there between us;
Let me know...
Apparently, we both had the same thing on our brains, which was kind of a relief. So I wrote him back:
Lol, wow what are the odds. Sorry, I went downstairs with a coworker to let the pizza guy in, and then we were all eating, so I just saw that you called, read your emails, etc… If you call me when I’m still at work, I won’t be able to talk, because there is absolutely no privacy in this office. Lol. But I’m leaving at 4 for sure. As for New Years, you’re still more than welcome to come with us. I mean, it’s gonna be a lot of fun, but if you would rather do something with YOUR friends, that’s totally understandable. I mean, I know you don’t really know any of my friends, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to come. So it’s completely up to you.
Now, here's the clincher. I sat and waited for an hour, for him to return from lunch, wondering if he would still be accompanying me tomorrow or not. Then finally, around 2pm, I got his response...
Hey Peyton,
This is too funny. Both thinking and writing the same thing at the same time! Here are my thoughts: there was an initial attraction, well, let me speak for myself, I know I was definitely attracted to you (and still am - I think you're a beautiful girl). However, it felt like we couldn't get past that point...we never left the starting gate so to speak. It feels like we've been trying to make something work, instead of it just happening, like it should. I don't know, maybe it was the lack of communication, in terms of where this was headed and what each of us expected out of it. I just got out of a serious relationship too. Actually, to be more precise, I was married. That ended about 6 months ago. She moved back to California and I stayed here in Texas - long sad story behind that one. So I'm not looking to jump back into a long term relationship either. I'm still picking up the pieces, doing some self reflection, trying to figure things out, etc. I was certainly going to tell you all this, but it just never felt like the time was right; hopefully that doesn't upset you.
As for new years, I think I'm either going to go to Austin with one of my friends or just hang here with some friends. I'm sure I'd have a great time with you, but it would just be a little weird - if you know what I mean. I really do hope we can stay friends, and I'm very sincere about that. I'm still relatively new to this town, and my friends are mostly limited to the people I work with. Your emails crack me up and I think we've always been able to click in that regard. Which is why I don't understand why we couldn't get off the ground in person? Anyway, I have some cute friends, and perhaps one day when you're ready for a relationship I can introduce you to one of them! ;-) Let's keep in touch, ok? Happy new year Peyton!
WTF?!?! MARRIED?!?! How could he just not tell me something like that!! As soon as I read that, all the blood rushed to my face. I felt like hyperventilating, or crying, or shouting. I felt REALLY REALLY WEIRD. I felt betrayed. I felt like all the opinions I'd formed about him, everything I thought I knew about him, was based on something that was a total lie! Now I'm not sure I ever wanna talk to him again! It's like he just revealed to me that he secretly works for the FBI and his real name is Bob Flannigan!
And it's not that I'm mad that he was married; I'm mad that he didn't tell me. I mean, that's not something you should keep from someone you're dating, even if it is casual. Because eventually, when it becomes serious, it just gets harder and harder to tell that person, and easier and easier to avoid the subject. And ultimately, people end up getting hurt. BAD IDEA. I'm ALWAYS honest with people up front. God, I wonder if he has any kids!! I haven't written him back, and I'm not sure I'm going to. ((Sigh)) I dunno what I'm gonna do.
All I know is, I'm flying solo on New Year's Eve this year.
So I waited for him to write me an email, which he did, and then I responded in kind...
Ok, I’ve been mulling this over in my head for the past 12+ hours, and arguing with myself about it. And I know we haven’t had any conversations about this or anything, and I’m not exactly sure what your expectations are, but I really feel like I just need to be up front with you, because I don’t want to mislead you. I like you, and I think you’re a great guy, but I'm not sure I'm ready for what I think you’re looking for, and I don’t want to lead you on. I just… feel like I'm not really ready to date anyone. And that’s the God’s honest truth. I just can’t keep seeing you without letting you know how I feel. I mean, it wasn’t too long ago that I got out of a serious relationship, and right now, the idea of being with someone just kind of freaks me out. Sorry, if that sounds bad, but…I don’t really know how else to put it. I thought that I was ready to date, but I guess I’m just not. Please don't think I went into this with false intentions. I was trying to take things slowly in hopes that something would jump out at me but it still hasn’t, and I wanted to let you know. I know this is horrible timing and I’m really sorry, but I didn’t want to take it any further without being honest with you. If you decide you want to make other plans for new year’s eve, I totally understand, and I won’t be mad or anything. It’s completely up to you.
I sent him that from my work email address, and then forwarded it Izzie, from my private account. When I went back to my private account, I noticed I had a message from Cali, received at almost the exact time I sent him mine! This is what it said:
Peyton,
I just called your cell, but no answer.
I had a good time last night, but I get that feeling we're still testing the waters in terms of where this will go…friends, more than friends, etc.? At least that's how I feel. My point is, if you're not feeling it, and would rather just spend NYE with your friends, I certainly understand. There will be plenty of other times we can hang out and see if there's something there between us;
Let me know...
Apparently, we both had the same thing on our brains, which was kind of a relief. So I wrote him back:
Lol, wow what are the odds. Sorry, I went downstairs with a coworker to let the pizza guy in, and then we were all eating, so I just saw that you called, read your emails, etc… If you call me when I’m still at work, I won’t be able to talk, because there is absolutely no privacy in this office. Lol. But I’m leaving at 4 for sure. As for New Years, you’re still more than welcome to come with us. I mean, it’s gonna be a lot of fun, but if you would rather do something with YOUR friends, that’s totally understandable. I mean, I know you don’t really know any of my friends, and I don’t want you to feel obligated to come. So it’s completely up to you.
Now, here's the clincher. I sat and waited for an hour, for him to return from lunch, wondering if he would still be accompanying me tomorrow or not. Then finally, around 2pm, I got his response...
Hey Peyton,
This is too funny. Both thinking and writing the same thing at the same time! Here are my thoughts: there was an initial attraction, well, let me speak for myself, I know I was definitely attracted to you (and still am - I think you're a beautiful girl). However, it felt like we couldn't get past that point...we never left the starting gate so to speak. It feels like we've been trying to make something work, instead of it just happening, like it should. I don't know, maybe it was the lack of communication, in terms of where this was headed and what each of us expected out of it. I just got out of a serious relationship too. Actually, to be more precise, I was married. That ended about 6 months ago. She moved back to California and I stayed here in Texas - long sad story behind that one. So I'm not looking to jump back into a long term relationship either. I'm still picking up the pieces, doing some self reflection, trying to figure things out, etc. I was certainly going to tell you all this, but it just never felt like the time was right; hopefully that doesn't upset you.
As for new years, I think I'm either going to go to Austin with one of my friends or just hang here with some friends. I'm sure I'd have a great time with you, but it would just be a little weird - if you know what I mean. I really do hope we can stay friends, and I'm very sincere about that. I'm still relatively new to this town, and my friends are mostly limited to the people I work with. Your emails crack me up and I think we've always been able to click in that regard. Which is why I don't understand why we couldn't get off the ground in person? Anyway, I have some cute friends, and perhaps one day when you're ready for a relationship I can introduce you to one of them! ;-) Let's keep in touch, ok? Happy new year Peyton!
WTF?!?! MARRIED?!?! How could he just not tell me something like that!! As soon as I read that, all the blood rushed to my face. I felt like hyperventilating, or crying, or shouting. I felt REALLY REALLY WEIRD. I felt betrayed. I felt like all the opinions I'd formed about him, everything I thought I knew about him, was based on something that was a total lie! Now I'm not sure I ever wanna talk to him again! It's like he just revealed to me that he secretly works for the FBI and his real name is Bob Flannigan!
And it's not that I'm mad that he was married; I'm mad that he didn't tell me. I mean, that's not something you should keep from someone you're dating, even if it is casual. Because eventually, when it becomes serious, it just gets harder and harder to tell that person, and easier and easier to avoid the subject. And ultimately, people end up getting hurt. BAD IDEA. I'm ALWAYS honest with people up front. God, I wonder if he has any kids!! I haven't written him back, and I'm not sure I'm going to. ((Sigh)) I dunno what I'm gonna do.
All I know is, I'm flying solo on New Year's Eve this year.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
PANIC ATTACK!
Omg, I'm starting to get really nervous about New Year's Eve! What if inviting Cali was a bad idea?? What if he's not social enough for me to leave him alone?? What if he doesn't fit in with my friends? What if they don't like him?? I don't wanna have to babysit him all night, cuz when I start drinking, I'm very gregarious. I'm all over the place! Especially when I'm at a bar where I know everyone that works there. ((Sigh)) I really hope this night isn't a total disaster!!
We're supposed to meet over at Ben's house for cocktails at 7:30 and then take a cab to the bar. I got the perfect dress!! It's a plum colored, form fitting sheath, above the knee, with a sweetheart neckline. But then there's this heavily beaded piece that comes up from the middle of the bust, in a straight light, and wraps around the neck. It's so pretty! And different. Nobody will have a dress like mine! It was the only one on the rack at this really obscure boutique I love. I also got the perfect shoes to match! They're a dark, silvery grey, and there's like a small bead type design that comes up the arch and wraps around the ankle. I'll have to post pictures of my outfit later.
Anyways, I have another date with Cali tonight. Dinner and a movie. We're gonna go see Up In The Air. So, maybe I'll feel a little better about NYE after our date tonight.
On Saturday night at work, Brandon spoke to me. For the first time since...well I don't even know. He said, "Hey! How are you?" while we were both in line for the computer. I just said, "Swell!" and went about my business. And then I got to thinking, why can't he and I just be friends? I mean, it feels so weird to just cut someone completely out of my life. He was such a big part of it for a time, he knew me better than anyone, he was like my best friend! And now we don't even speak. And that kind of makes me sad. But then I think, he sure as hell wasn't a very good friend! At least not for the last 2/3rds of our relationship. A friend would never do or say the things to me that he did. But...I don't know. I think it's for the best if things just remain the way they are. It's easier that way. Not thinking about him, I mean. Maybe someday...farther down the road.
Speaking of friends, I'm starting to feel really lonely lately. And really mad, at Bethany in particular. She never calls me anymore, yet she calls me her best friend, but I've practically been replaced, with Summer! And I love Summer and all, but it's like, just because I don't work with them anymore, and I don't have a bartender's lifestyle anymore, I can't hang out with my friends anymore! They never call me, or invite me to do things, and I'm always just...by myself. Lately, I haven't been lonely so much, cuz of the holidays, but now that Sophie's gone, I can already feel things slipping back into their old routine. Summer texted me yesterday, and I mentioned that I never get to see them anymore, and she suggested that me, her and Bethany go to a movie. And I said, sure. Then when I got off work, I texted and called her, and she never answered or responded! I'm gonna be really mad if I find out they went without me and never called. ((Sigh)) I really hope I'm not losing my friends.
We're supposed to meet over at Ben's house for cocktails at 7:30 and then take a cab to the bar. I got the perfect dress!! It's a plum colored, form fitting sheath, above the knee, with a sweetheart neckline. But then there's this heavily beaded piece that comes up from the middle of the bust, in a straight light, and wraps around the neck. It's so pretty! And different. Nobody will have a dress like mine! It was the only one on the rack at this really obscure boutique I love. I also got the perfect shoes to match! They're a dark, silvery grey, and there's like a small bead type design that comes up the arch and wraps around the ankle. I'll have to post pictures of my outfit later.
Anyways, I have another date with Cali tonight. Dinner and a movie. We're gonna go see Up In The Air. So, maybe I'll feel a little better about NYE after our date tonight.
On Saturday night at work, Brandon spoke to me. For the first time since...well I don't even know. He said, "Hey! How are you?" while we were both in line for the computer. I just said, "Swell!" and went about my business. And then I got to thinking, why can't he and I just be friends? I mean, it feels so weird to just cut someone completely out of my life. He was such a big part of it for a time, he knew me better than anyone, he was like my best friend! And now we don't even speak. And that kind of makes me sad. But then I think, he sure as hell wasn't a very good friend! At least not for the last 2/3rds of our relationship. A friend would never do or say the things to me that he did. But...I don't know. I think it's for the best if things just remain the way they are. It's easier that way. Not thinking about him, I mean. Maybe someday...farther down the road.
Speaking of friends, I'm starting to feel really lonely lately. And really mad, at Bethany in particular. She never calls me anymore, yet she calls me her best friend, but I've practically been replaced, with Summer! And I love Summer and all, but it's like, just because I don't work with them anymore, and I don't have a bartender's lifestyle anymore, I can't hang out with my friends anymore! They never call me, or invite me to do things, and I'm always just...by myself. Lately, I haven't been lonely so much, cuz of the holidays, but now that Sophie's gone, I can already feel things slipping back into their old routine. Summer texted me yesterday, and I mentioned that I never get to see them anymore, and she suggested that me, her and Bethany go to a movie. And I said, sure. Then when I got off work, I texted and called her, and she never answered or responded! I'm gonna be really mad if I find out they went without me and never called. ((Sigh)) I really hope I'm not losing my friends.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Content
Well it certainly has been a busy week! Sophie got here on Friday, but I didn't get to see her that night, since I had to work. And Friday was definitely an interesting night...
Cali had promised to stop by the bar and see me, but instead, I got bombarded with drunk texts messages from him, professing his undying love for me and telling me how much he misses me, and how wasted he is. Ugh... Not the biggest turn on. I thought dating an older guy would mean I wouldn't have to put up with that crap! I mean, "I love you love you I love you" may be exactly what a girl wants to hear, but not under those circumstances!
The next day, he texted me several apologies. And apparently, he had also sent a few of those drunk messages to his mortgage loan officer, by mistake. Her name is also Peyton, but spelled "Payton". Even he is not sure how he made that mistake. Still funny though. And well deserved, in my opinion.
So Sophie and I went out Saturday night. I had hoped that Law School would meet up with us, but he had other "commitments" that night. A work party I think. He did text me though, to say he would try to meet up afterwards, but apparently that didn't pan out. Oh well, we still had fun. And I decided to just...stop pursuing or entertaining any ideas with Law School all together. Because 1) He's not going anywhere, and I have enough stress with holidays as it is, and 2) If we have chemistry, then he knows it, and he can't deny it.
We did end up seeing Cali on Saturday night though. After his series of apologies, he had texted me saying he'd like to meet up just for one drink, to say hi and meet my sister. So I decided I'd allow it, despite my new confusing feelings about him, and he met us at the first bar. Sophie thinks he's super hot and nice and that I should go for him, despite his drunken debauchery. She also pointed out that he's successful, and thoughtful, and he listens to what I say. He actually bought me The Hangover on DVD because I'd mentioned I really wanted to get it. Melissa agrees with Sophie. ((Sigh)) So that definitely gave me some food for thought. So Sunday, Sophie and I hung around the apartment, did a little Christmas shopping and watched The Hangover.
Monday after work, my mom and Sophie came over and we went out to eat for Sophie's birthday. Then yesterday, we all went over to my aunts house to visit with family. That was really fun. I have 2 twin cousins who just turned 17, and another 18 year old cousin, with a baby! See the Peyton Family Tree if you want more details. Quite the family we have... But they're all so much fun to hang out with.
So I left my aunts around 9pm, since I was getting a little tired, and I knew I had about a 30 minute drive ahead of me. And as I was driving home, guess who calls??
Law School.
I answered with some trepidation, but I figured, he must be calling for some particular reason. And after a minute of small talk and "how are you"s, I figured he'd get down to it. But he didn't! Apparently, he just called to ask about my weekend. Hmmm...
So we talked for about 20 minutes. He's leaving tomorrow at 6:30am to go back East for Christmas and he won't be back till January 3rd. So there goes all my pipe dreams about kissing him at midnight. Oh well. Actually, I'm kind of relieved, because that's just one less thing for me to stress out about this New Years Eve. And now that I know what he's doing, I was finally able to decide on my plans for NYE! I got a text from Summer late last night, begging me to take off NYE so I could hang out with her, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Ben and Michael had told me Saturday night that they bought 20 tickets, and reserved a table at our bar on Washington for NYE. So I'm gonna go. And I think I'm gonna invite Cali. He mentioned that he didn't have any definite plans yet for New Year's, and I don't wanna be a 3rd wheel, so what the hell! And even though this pretty much guarantees a kiss, I think it will be fun. And a little alcohol can't hurt the situation, right? And when I say a little, I mean a little. Not copious amounts. NOT doing that again. And hopefully, neither is Cali!
Tonight is the party I'm throwing for Sophie's party. It's gonna be mostly her friends, but hopefully a few of mine will show up, since I promised games, alcohol, and white elephant. I'm gonna be super busy cleaning and setting up as soon as I get home, but I'm looking forward to it!
So I've made all my decisions, and made all my plans, and I feel pretty good about them. In fact, I feel pretty good about everything right now. My life, in general, seems to be at peace. I'm content. Maybe not blissful, but content. And that's good enough for me right now.
Cali had promised to stop by the bar and see me, but instead, I got bombarded with drunk texts messages from him, professing his undying love for me and telling me how much he misses me, and how wasted he is. Ugh... Not the biggest turn on. I thought dating an older guy would mean I wouldn't have to put up with that crap! I mean, "I love you love you I love you" may be exactly what a girl wants to hear, but not under those circumstances!
The next day, he texted me several apologies. And apparently, he had also sent a few of those drunk messages to his mortgage loan officer, by mistake. Her name is also Peyton, but spelled "Payton". Even he is not sure how he made that mistake. Still funny though. And well deserved, in my opinion.
So Sophie and I went out Saturday night. I had hoped that Law School would meet up with us, but he had other "commitments" that night. A work party I think. He did text me though, to say he would try to meet up afterwards, but apparently that didn't pan out. Oh well, we still had fun. And I decided to just...stop pursuing or entertaining any ideas with Law School all together. Because 1) He's not going anywhere, and I have enough stress with holidays as it is, and 2) If we have chemistry, then he knows it, and he can't deny it.
We did end up seeing Cali on Saturday night though. After his series of apologies, he had texted me saying he'd like to meet up just for one drink, to say hi and meet my sister. So I decided I'd allow it, despite my new confusing feelings about him, and he met us at the first bar. Sophie thinks he's super hot and nice and that I should go for him, despite his drunken debauchery. She also pointed out that he's successful, and thoughtful, and he listens to what I say. He actually bought me The Hangover on DVD because I'd mentioned I really wanted to get it. Melissa agrees with Sophie. ((Sigh)) So that definitely gave me some food for thought. So Sunday, Sophie and I hung around the apartment, did a little Christmas shopping and watched The Hangover.
Monday after work, my mom and Sophie came over and we went out to eat for Sophie's birthday. Then yesterday, we all went over to my aunts house to visit with family. That was really fun. I have 2 twin cousins who just turned 17, and another 18 year old cousin, with a baby! See the Peyton Family Tree if you want more details. Quite the family we have... But they're all so much fun to hang out with.
So I left my aunts around 9pm, since I was getting a little tired, and I knew I had about a 30 minute drive ahead of me. And as I was driving home, guess who calls??
Law School.
I answered with some trepidation, but I figured, he must be calling for some particular reason. And after a minute of small talk and "how are you"s, I figured he'd get down to it. But he didn't! Apparently, he just called to ask about my weekend. Hmmm...
So we talked for about 20 minutes. He's leaving tomorrow at 6:30am to go back East for Christmas and he won't be back till January 3rd. So there goes all my pipe dreams about kissing him at midnight. Oh well. Actually, I'm kind of relieved, because that's just one less thing for me to stress out about this New Years Eve. And now that I know what he's doing, I was finally able to decide on my plans for NYE! I got a text from Summer late last night, begging me to take off NYE so I could hang out with her, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Ben and Michael had told me Saturday night that they bought 20 tickets, and reserved a table at our bar on Washington for NYE. So I'm gonna go. And I think I'm gonna invite Cali. He mentioned that he didn't have any definite plans yet for New Year's, and I don't wanna be a 3rd wheel, so what the hell! And even though this pretty much guarantees a kiss, I think it will be fun. And a little alcohol can't hurt the situation, right? And when I say a little, I mean a little. Not copious amounts. NOT doing that again. And hopefully, neither is Cali!
Tonight is the party I'm throwing for Sophie's party. It's gonna be mostly her friends, but hopefully a few of mine will show up, since I promised games, alcohol, and white elephant. I'm gonna be super busy cleaning and setting up as soon as I get home, but I'm looking forward to it!
So I've made all my decisions, and made all my plans, and I feel pretty good about them. In fact, I feel pretty good about everything right now. My life, in general, seems to be at peace. I'm content. Maybe not blissful, but content. And that's good enough for me right now.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
50 First Dates
So on Thursday night, Cali and I went on our first date. He had suggested coffee or drinks, and told me to pick the place. So I suggested a Starbucks inside a Barnes & Noble. That way, if the date was really horrible, I could just escape into the bookstore. Lol. But that ended up not being necessary. :)
He arrived a couple minutes after I did. And upon first seeing him, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed. I just remembered him in my head as being so much hotter! Don't get me wrong, he is very attractive! I just didn't feel that initial spark you feel when you meet someone that you're undeniably attracted to. So anyways, he bought our drinks, a peppermint mocha for me, and a caramel macchiatto for him. I didn't wanna drink caffeine at that point, cuz I knew I'd never get any sleep if I did. So we sat down at a small 2 person table and chatted away! We talked about everything from my family, to his family, to our interests and hobbies and jobs. I learned that he works for a major company in the oil industry. He does something in oil trading. He used to work on ships offshore for months-on/months-off, and he really enjoyed it because he loves to travel. And he could pretty much live wherever he wanted, which is why he chose California. He's an avid surfer as well. But he said after doing that for several years, he started to get lonely, and he was never able to maintain a relationship, because he was away so much. So he found another position within the company, which ultimately led him here. He owns his own house, has a brand new sports car, he likes dogs, works out (I can tell he has a great body under those clothes!), and he reads!!! All things that I definitely require in a guy!
But despite all that, I just can't seem to shake this feeling that something is missing. And I can't figure out if it's me, or if it's him. Maybe it's the fact that I can tell he's about ready to settle down, and that makes me nervous. Or maybe it's the fact that I've never dated someone this much older than me. I mean, 6 years really isn't that much, but the maturity difference between him, and all the other guys I've dated is exponential! And that's probably a good thing, but it's still a little intimidating. Maybe it's because I'm just not ready to date. With TB, the whole situation is very nonthreatening because I know nothing can actually come of it. He just distracts me and makes me smile, and feel good. And Cali does that too, but obviously I don't know him as well yet. And then there's the fact that I'm just not as attracted to Cali as I am to Brandon. ((Sigh)) And I can't help that.
So all these things are going through my head during the date. And our conversation was really easy flowing, and I feel like he and I could be really good friends, because we have a lot in common and I feel comfortable with him. But I just don't know if it can be more than that. But I'm not gonna give this guy up yet. I'm gonna give him a chance, which is what I've been advised to do by all my friends.
So the day after our date, which was Friday, Cali asked me out again. Saturday lunch. But I had way too much stuff to do that day, so I asked him if Sunday would be ok. And he said, "Sure, how 'bout dinner?"
So we decided on Sunday dinner.
And when Sunday rolled around, I was soooooooo tired from work, and the past week, and everything catching up to me. I slept most of the day, and even thought about canceling. Just cuz I didn't wanna get up, shower and get ready. But I forced myself to do it. I wasn't going to cancel on him!
He picked me up at 8 sharp, and we went to a nice little Italian restaurant. Once again, conversation was good, although I did notice he tends to redirect most of the questions I ask him back to me. So I feel like the conversation gets a little one sided at times. Like I'm talking too much or something. But the dinner was great, and we shared some tiramasu afterwards. On the drive home, I was having an internal panic attack, cuz I was afraid he was gonna try to kiss me. I really didn't want him to! I'm just not ready!
So he pulls up to my apartments.
"Well I won't do that whole awkward thing." He said, "I'll just get out of the car and give you a hug."
"Ok." I said. *phew* I had been expecting that conversation to go in a whole other direction!
So we both got out, I thanked him for dinner and we hugged, and I pulled away before the idea of kissing could even cross his mind.
"Do you wanna maybe do something Tuesday?" He asked.
"Um...let me find out what I've got going on this week first, and I'll get back to you." I said with a smile.
"Ok, lookin' forward to it! Goodnight, Peyton." He said as he got in his car.
Tuesday. At this rate, we'll be going out every other day! That's way too fast for me. I mean I admire his persistence. I don't think I've ever been courted with such vigor before. But this is all a bit overwhelming for me, ya know? I mean I hadn't expected or planned for this, and I'm definitely not ready for a serious relationship. And I'm thinking maybe he is. But Cali and I haven't had any kind of conversation about that. And I'm not about to bring it up! So I'm just gonna let it ride for now. I ended up telling him no for Tuesday. I was doing laundry all night and cleaning my apartment. I'm picking up TB from the airport today after work. Seeing him will be refreshing I think. No pressure, just fun.
Here's a little sidenote. On Saturday night after work, Liza and I were talking while we were cleaning the bar. I was telling her about my date with Cali, since she's the waitress who sort of hooked us up.
"He called you?? OMG! I can't believe you actually went out with him! That is so cool! He seems really nice. How old was he again, 31?"
"Yea, " I said, "He's really nice. We're going out again tomorrow night." I couldn't help but notice that Brandon was concentrating a little too hard on cleaning that glass rack.
"Where are you guys going??" Liza asked.
"Out to dinner. He's picking me up!! I dunno why, but I think that's so weird. No one's ever been like, 'Hey I'm taking you here, and I'm picking you up at this time.'" I said, truthfully.
"Wow. He's hot, dude...I could see his muscles under his shirt! I was checking him out for you last Saturday! Haha!"
Way to go, Liza! If Brandon wasn't jealous before, he surely was by now.
So Greg and I were doing inventory together about 30 minutes later, and he asked me about Cali.
"Dude, you can't say that stuff in front of Brandon!" He said half-jokingly.
"Why not?? He doesn't care about me!"
"Sweetie...you know how he is. Even if he doesn't admit it, it bothers him. And he gets all pouty, and quiet-"
"And mopey, and he storms and stomps around, and broods and slams things down, and doesn't talk to anybody?" I said, completing the sentence for Greg.
"Yea, I mean you know! I'm gonna have to comfort him later." He joked.
"Whatever! He brings that trashy new girlfriend of his in here all the time. I'm sick of looking at her pasty, whorish face. So he can just deal with it. I don't care."
"Good for you. I mean you're right, you deserve to be happy, and it's his fault, I mean..."
"He broke up with me! I mean, what, does he just want me to be miserable for the rest of my life???"
"Yep. He just doesn't want you to move on." Greg stated.
"That's ridiculous. I've spend enough time pining over him already. And I may not like him very much, but I wouldn't wish him a lifetime of unhappiness!"
"I know, Sweetie. He's just... You know how Brandon is."
"Unfortunately."
Another 30 minutes later, we were all sitting in the back counting money, when I noticed Brandon in the corner all by himself. I nudged Greg and whispered, "I think what we were talking about earlier is happening right now!"
Greg looked up, smiled, and nodded emphatically.
"Is it horrible of me to feel absolutely giddy about that?"
Greg just laughed and shook his head. "NO." He said.
So Brandon is a little jealous, huh? I'm honestly surprised. I mean he has his cheap, easy, no-strings-attached fuck. And apparently that's all he wants since he can't deal with anyone expecting anything from him. Plus, I was convinced he didn't have any feelings for or about me whatsoever. Maybe it's finally occurred to him that he should have traded up when he dumped me, instead of sleeping with the first piece of trash that spread her legs. None of his friends like her, and no one can understand why he's with her. And seriously, I'm not saying that because I hate or resent her. I'm just stating the facts. EVERYONE I've talked to about that girl tells me she is trashy, and slutty. I'm not woman-bashing right now. I'm sure each and every one of you has met one of these girls before. You know how they are. They have no self-respect, no morals, no standards. And they'll sleep with anyone and everyone. Well wait till Brandon sees me out with TB on Friday night. He can finally have a taste of his own medicine. Bastard.
He arrived a couple minutes after I did. And upon first seeing him, I'm not gonna lie, I was a little disappointed. I just remembered him in my head as being so much hotter! Don't get me wrong, he is very attractive! I just didn't feel that initial spark you feel when you meet someone that you're undeniably attracted to. So anyways, he bought our drinks, a peppermint mocha for me, and a caramel macchiatto for him. I didn't wanna drink caffeine at that point, cuz I knew I'd never get any sleep if I did. So we sat down at a small 2 person table and chatted away! We talked about everything from my family, to his family, to our interests and hobbies and jobs. I learned that he works for a major company in the oil industry. He does something in oil trading. He used to work on ships offshore for months-on/months-off, and he really enjoyed it because he loves to travel. And he could pretty much live wherever he wanted, which is why he chose California. He's an avid surfer as well. But he said after doing that for several years, he started to get lonely, and he was never able to maintain a relationship, because he was away so much. So he found another position within the company, which ultimately led him here. He owns his own house, has a brand new sports car, he likes dogs, works out (I can tell he has a great body under those clothes!), and he reads!!! All things that I definitely require in a guy!
But despite all that, I just can't seem to shake this feeling that something is missing. And I can't figure out if it's me, or if it's him. Maybe it's the fact that I can tell he's about ready to settle down, and that makes me nervous. Or maybe it's the fact that I've never dated someone this much older than me. I mean, 6 years really isn't that much, but the maturity difference between him, and all the other guys I've dated is exponential! And that's probably a good thing, but it's still a little intimidating. Maybe it's because I'm just not ready to date. With TB, the whole situation is very nonthreatening because I know nothing can actually come of it. He just distracts me and makes me smile, and feel good. And Cali does that too, but obviously I don't know him as well yet. And then there's the fact that I'm just not as attracted to Cali as I am to Brandon. ((Sigh)) And I can't help that.
So all these things are going through my head during the date. And our conversation was really easy flowing, and I feel like he and I could be really good friends, because we have a lot in common and I feel comfortable with him. But I just don't know if it can be more than that. But I'm not gonna give this guy up yet. I'm gonna give him a chance, which is what I've been advised to do by all my friends.
So the day after our date, which was Friday, Cali asked me out again. Saturday lunch. But I had way too much stuff to do that day, so I asked him if Sunday would be ok. And he said, "Sure, how 'bout dinner?"
So we decided on Sunday dinner.
And when Sunday rolled around, I was soooooooo tired from work, and the past week, and everything catching up to me. I slept most of the day, and even thought about canceling. Just cuz I didn't wanna get up, shower and get ready. But I forced myself to do it. I wasn't going to cancel on him!
He picked me up at 8 sharp, and we went to a nice little Italian restaurant. Once again, conversation was good, although I did notice he tends to redirect most of the questions I ask him back to me. So I feel like the conversation gets a little one sided at times. Like I'm talking too much or something. But the dinner was great, and we shared some tiramasu afterwards. On the drive home, I was having an internal panic attack, cuz I was afraid he was gonna try to kiss me. I really didn't want him to! I'm just not ready!
So he pulls up to my apartments.
"Well I won't do that whole awkward thing." He said, "I'll just get out of the car and give you a hug."
"Ok." I said. *phew* I had been expecting that conversation to go in a whole other direction!
So we both got out, I thanked him for dinner and we hugged, and I pulled away before the idea of kissing could even cross his mind.
"Do you wanna maybe do something Tuesday?" He asked.
"Um...let me find out what I've got going on this week first, and I'll get back to you." I said with a smile.
"Ok, lookin' forward to it! Goodnight, Peyton." He said as he got in his car.
Tuesday. At this rate, we'll be going out every other day! That's way too fast for me. I mean I admire his persistence. I don't think I've ever been courted with such vigor before. But this is all a bit overwhelming for me, ya know? I mean I hadn't expected or planned for this, and I'm definitely not ready for a serious relationship. And I'm thinking maybe he is. But Cali and I haven't had any kind of conversation about that. And I'm not about to bring it up! So I'm just gonna let it ride for now. I ended up telling him no for Tuesday. I was doing laundry all night and cleaning my apartment. I'm picking up TB from the airport today after work. Seeing him will be refreshing I think. No pressure, just fun.
Here's a little sidenote. On Saturday night after work, Liza and I were talking while we were cleaning the bar. I was telling her about my date with Cali, since she's the waitress who sort of hooked us up.
"He called you?? OMG! I can't believe you actually went out with him! That is so cool! He seems really nice. How old was he again, 31?"
"Yea, " I said, "He's really nice. We're going out again tomorrow night." I couldn't help but notice that Brandon was concentrating a little too hard on cleaning that glass rack.
"Where are you guys going??" Liza asked.
"Out to dinner. He's picking me up!! I dunno why, but I think that's so weird. No one's ever been like, 'Hey I'm taking you here, and I'm picking you up at this time.'" I said, truthfully.
"Wow. He's hot, dude...I could see his muscles under his shirt! I was checking him out for you last Saturday! Haha!"
Way to go, Liza! If Brandon wasn't jealous before, he surely was by now.
So Greg and I were doing inventory together about 30 minutes later, and he asked me about Cali.
"Dude, you can't say that stuff in front of Brandon!" He said half-jokingly.
"Why not?? He doesn't care about me!"
"Sweetie...you know how he is. Even if he doesn't admit it, it bothers him. And he gets all pouty, and quiet-"
"And mopey, and he storms and stomps around, and broods and slams things down, and doesn't talk to anybody?" I said, completing the sentence for Greg.
"Yea, I mean you know! I'm gonna have to comfort him later." He joked.
"Whatever! He brings that trashy new girlfriend of his in here all the time. I'm sick of looking at her pasty, whorish face. So he can just deal with it. I don't care."
"Good for you. I mean you're right, you deserve to be happy, and it's his fault, I mean..."
"He broke up with me! I mean, what, does he just want me to be miserable for the rest of my life???"
"Yep. He just doesn't want you to move on." Greg stated.
"That's ridiculous. I've spend enough time pining over him already. And I may not like him very much, but I wouldn't wish him a lifetime of unhappiness!"
"I know, Sweetie. He's just... You know how Brandon is."
"Unfortunately."
Another 30 minutes later, we were all sitting in the back counting money, when I noticed Brandon in the corner all by himself. I nudged Greg and whispered, "I think what we were talking about earlier is happening right now!"
Greg looked up, smiled, and nodded emphatically.
"Is it horrible of me to feel absolutely giddy about that?"
Greg just laughed and shook his head. "NO." He said.
So Brandon is a little jealous, huh? I'm honestly surprised. I mean he has his cheap, easy, no-strings-attached fuck. And apparently that's all he wants since he can't deal with anyone expecting anything from him. Plus, I was convinced he didn't have any feelings for or about me whatsoever. Maybe it's finally occurred to him that he should have traded up when he dumped me, instead of sleeping with the first piece of trash that spread her legs. None of his friends like her, and no one can understand why he's with her. And seriously, I'm not saying that because I hate or resent her. I'm just stating the facts. EVERYONE I've talked to about that girl tells me she is trashy, and slutty. I'm not woman-bashing right now. I'm sure each and every one of you has met one of these girls before. You know how they are. They have no self-respect, no morals, no standards. And they'll sleep with anyone and everyone. Well wait till Brandon sees me out with TB on Friday night. He can finally have a taste of his own medicine. Bastard.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I Got A Feelin'... That Tonight's Gonna Be A Good Night
Sorry, it's been so long since I've blogged! I've been meaning and meaning to write, but I've been so busy, and I'm about a week behind on sleep now! Ugh...
So let's start from the beginning. Thanksgiving week was nice and relaxing. I had to leave work early on Tuesday for my doctor's appointment. I got my blood work done, so they could try to find out what's going on with my hair, and nothing turned up. :( So I have to go see a dermatologist. But hey, at least I'm healthy! I mean, other than the obvious.
Wednesday was my last day of the work week, and Sheila and I went out and got pretty crazy that night! Cory and I were supposed to hang out, and he had texted me earlier that day, but when I was ready to go, he didn't answer the phone! So I just figured, oh well. And Sheila and I had tons of fun, just the two of us, anyway. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. Lol. But don't worry, we took cabs, so we were safe. I crashed pretty hard that night after a much needed carefree night of partying. A little too hard though, because I did not wanna get out of bed the next morning! I was an hour late to Thanksgiving lunch/dinner at the grandparents, and everyone had already eaten. My parents were in Florida, and Sophie was spending the holiday with Brent's parents, so it was just me. But Jenna and Paul were there, and I scarfed down a plate of food before everyone started packing it all up. We actually had a pretty good time, the 3 of us. We sat at the table in the kitchen, talking and goofing off, while the rest of the family was in the living room being boring. Lol. My grandfather is a bit crotchety in his old age, and he's very particular, and likes to give his grandsons a hard time. He's also going deaf, so he shouts a lot. Lol. So Paul was just sitting in his chair reading a GQ, and Grandpa kept harassing him. Lol. Yelling at him to get his lazy ass up and help clean up. Jenna and I could hardly stifle our laughs.
So I had fun, catching up with them. Jenna had to leave that night though, because her boyfriend had a death in the family that week. So unfortunately, she and I didn't get to spend any more time together after Thanksgiving dinner.
I had been planning on going out again Thursday night, but I was just so tired, I ended up staying in, cuddling with Jasper on the couch, and going to bed early. Cory called to tell me he was sorry about the night before, but he'd passed out on his friends couch, and woke up at 4am fully clothed. And of course, I was too tired to do anything, so we ended up never getting to see each other! I was pretty disappointed I guess, but having too much fun to really notice.
Friday night I had to work at the bar; that kinda sucked. I didn't even leave my apartment during the day, because I was afraid of Black Friday traffic. I live pretty close to the mall, so it gets really insane over there. I had a really horrible dream about Brandon that night too. I dreamt that it was my birthday, and he was trying to give me something; he had bought it when we were still together. But I told him it was too much, and I didn't think it was appropriate for me to accept his gift. And he kinda just shrugged, said ok, and then walked off. And we were in the parking lot of the mall or something, so I turned and started to walk the other way, and I just started crying. The my mom came and picked me up, and as we were leaving the parking lot, I saw Brandon and his new slore standing on the curb, kissing. I woke up sobbing. Needless to say, I wasn't in the greatest mood. But I had to run errands and pack my things for my trip with the girls to go watch Todd's football game! My first NFL game ever!! So that definitely cheered me up. Our plane was slotted to leave at 7am Sunday morning! Work was kinda slow, but I didn't have to work behind the same bar as Brandon, which was nice. ANNNND...I met someone!
I was working the waitress well, and I noticed one of my favorite waitresses, Liza, talking to this guy. He was tall, with olive skin and dark hair, and he had kind of an exotic look to him. Like he might be Hawaiian or half Filipino. So I asked her if he was a friend of hers.
"No, he's just sitting at one of my tables.", she said, "Why?"
"Because he's hot!" I said.
She laughed. "You wanna know what he said about you??"
"WHAT!" I could hardly contain myself. Surely, this had to be a joke.
"He said, 'That girl looks mean, and a little scary, but I like it!'"
I busted out laughing. "Find out how old he is, but don't tell him I asked."
So she came back, and reported that he's 31.
Perfect! I thought. No more immature guys who need to get their lives together!
I quickly whipped up 4 of my best shots.
"Bring these to him and his friends, one is for you, and tell him they're from me." I said to Liza.
"One's for me? Thanks!" She beamed, and bustled off to his table.
I sorta got busy for a while after that, and before I knew it, he was standing in front of my well!
"Hey! Thanks for the shots, they were really good!" He said.
"You're welcome." I said, "I'm Peyton."
I shook his hand, blushing slightly. I've never dated someone that much older than me before. And the thought of it was kind of intimidating. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it! Lol. I mean, it's only 6 years, but the most I've ever done is 4.
"I'm [Cali]." He said. (That's what I'm calling him, cuz I later learned, he's from San Diego.)
"So, my friends and I are actually about to take off... Do you think I could call you sometime?" He asked.
"Sure! Um...one second." I ran to the other end of the bar to grab my purse. I whipped out one of my photography business cards and handed it to him. Much quicker than writing down my name and number.
"Thanks!" He said, "I'll see ya later."
"Bye!" I said.
My night got considerably better after that. But wait till you guys read about our trip!
So let's start from the beginning. Thanksgiving week was nice and relaxing. I had to leave work early on Tuesday for my doctor's appointment. I got my blood work done, so they could try to find out what's going on with my hair, and nothing turned up. :( So I have to go see a dermatologist. But hey, at least I'm healthy! I mean, other than the obvious.
Wednesday was my last day of the work week, and Sheila and I went out and got pretty crazy that night! Cory and I were supposed to hang out, and he had texted me earlier that day, but when I was ready to go, he didn't answer the phone! So I just figured, oh well. And Sheila and I had tons of fun, just the two of us, anyway. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. Lol. But don't worry, we took cabs, so we were safe. I crashed pretty hard that night after a much needed carefree night of partying. A little too hard though, because I did not wanna get out of bed the next morning! I was an hour late to Thanksgiving lunch/dinner at the grandparents, and everyone had already eaten. My parents were in Florida, and Sophie was spending the holiday with Brent's parents, so it was just me. But Jenna and Paul were there, and I scarfed down a plate of food before everyone started packing it all up. We actually had a pretty good time, the 3 of us. We sat at the table in the kitchen, talking and goofing off, while the rest of the family was in the living room being boring. Lol. My grandfather is a bit crotchety in his old age, and he's very particular, and likes to give his grandsons a hard time. He's also going deaf, so he shouts a lot. Lol. So Paul was just sitting in his chair reading a GQ, and Grandpa kept harassing him. Lol. Yelling at him to get his lazy ass up and help clean up. Jenna and I could hardly stifle our laughs.
So I had fun, catching up with them. Jenna had to leave that night though, because her boyfriend had a death in the family that week. So unfortunately, she and I didn't get to spend any more time together after Thanksgiving dinner.
I had been planning on going out again Thursday night, but I was just so tired, I ended up staying in, cuddling with Jasper on the couch, and going to bed early. Cory called to tell me he was sorry about the night before, but he'd passed out on his friends couch, and woke up at 4am fully clothed. And of course, I was too tired to do anything, so we ended up never getting to see each other! I was pretty disappointed I guess, but having too much fun to really notice.
Friday night I had to work at the bar; that kinda sucked. I didn't even leave my apartment during the day, because I was afraid of Black Friday traffic. I live pretty close to the mall, so it gets really insane over there. I had a really horrible dream about Brandon that night too. I dreamt that it was my birthday, and he was trying to give me something; he had bought it when we were still together. But I told him it was too much, and I didn't think it was appropriate for me to accept his gift. And he kinda just shrugged, said ok, and then walked off. And we were in the parking lot of the mall or something, so I turned and started to walk the other way, and I just started crying. The my mom came and picked me up, and as we were leaving the parking lot, I saw Brandon and his new slore standing on the curb, kissing. I woke up sobbing. Needless to say, I wasn't in the greatest mood. But I had to run errands and pack my things for my trip with the girls to go watch Todd's football game! My first NFL game ever!! So that definitely cheered me up. Our plane was slotted to leave at 7am Sunday morning! Work was kinda slow, but I didn't have to work behind the same bar as Brandon, which was nice. ANNNND...I met someone!
I was working the waitress well, and I noticed one of my favorite waitresses, Liza, talking to this guy. He was tall, with olive skin and dark hair, and he had kind of an exotic look to him. Like he might be Hawaiian or half Filipino. So I asked her if he was a friend of hers.
"No, he's just sitting at one of my tables.", she said, "Why?"
"Because he's hot!" I said.
She laughed. "You wanna know what he said about you??"
"WHAT!" I could hardly contain myself. Surely, this had to be a joke.
"He said, 'That girl looks mean, and a little scary, but I like it!'"
I busted out laughing. "Find out how old he is, but don't tell him I asked."
So she came back, and reported that he's 31.
Perfect! I thought. No more immature guys who need to get their lives together!
I quickly whipped up 4 of my best shots.
"Bring these to him and his friends, one is for you, and tell him they're from me." I said to Liza.
"One's for me? Thanks!" She beamed, and bustled off to his table.
I sorta got busy for a while after that, and before I knew it, he was standing in front of my well!
"Hey! Thanks for the shots, they were really good!" He said.
"You're welcome." I said, "I'm Peyton."
I shook his hand, blushing slightly. I've never dated someone that much older than me before. And the thought of it was kind of intimidating. For some reason, I couldn't stop thinking about it! Lol. I mean, it's only 6 years, but the most I've ever done is 4.
"I'm [Cali]." He said. (That's what I'm calling him, cuz I later learned, he's from San Diego.)
"So, my friends and I are actually about to take off... Do you think I could call you sometime?" He asked.
"Sure! Um...one second." I ran to the other end of the bar to grab my purse. I whipped out one of my photography business cards and handed it to him. Much quicker than writing down my name and number.
"Thanks!" He said, "I'll see ya later."
"Bye!" I said.
My night got considerably better after that. But wait till you guys read about our trip!
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