Runaway Trains

I know, I know...it's been a while. I've been kind of avoiding blogging because it means I have to confront and acknowledge my feelings. Lol. I'm not really sure where to start. I've been super busy the last couple months with work, which hasn't left a lot of room for dating, or anything like that.
But in regards to my those feelings I've been avoiding... it's Jamie. We've been talking a lot more lately. I mean we have been keeping in touch, but kind of just sporadically. But over the last couple months, our communication has become much more frequent. We talk almost every day now. And a couple months ago he was talking about coming back to NOLA in the new year, so I offhandedly suggested he come the first week of February and be my date to Bethany's wedding. At first he was like, "Well isn't that kind of a big deal?" And I was like, "HA! No. As many weddings as I have to go to?" Then we laughed and I mentioned how it would be fun - dressing up, open bar, dancing, and of course having him for arm candy lol. And he basically said he'd be delighted to go with me. Of course at the time, it was still kind of a ways off and I didn't really expect him to commit to something like that right then and there. But it's come up twice more since, and he still says he wants to go with me. And then today he told me there's a restructuring going on at his work, and he may be transferred, promoted or laid off. Most likely promoted, but he still may have to move to another city. Anyway, he's going to let me know about the wedding by the weekend. So hopefully I'll know for sure by then!
The other thing is, a lot of the times our conversations begin with him telling me he's thinking of me and he's lonely/horny. Lol. But lately, our conversations have been more about life, and and stuff he likes and stuff I like, and funny stories about our past and our families... Today he even let me pick out a suit for him! He's going to buy it next month lol. And he asked me about my past relationships. That felt kind of like...we crossed over into some new territory. And there was something else he said...I have to go back and find it.

"I mean New Orleans is my favourite place, the food, culture, music, I love the Saints, despite the rain today your weather's pretty amazing and then there's this extremely beautiful girl there who's offering to tie me up..."

Lol, about the tying up, I said I wished he could come watch TV in bed with me and he said he didn't think he'd be able to watch the TV if he was in bed with me, so I said I'd just have to tie him up. Haha. Of course that led to some sexy talk.
But anyway...I don't know what this is exactly, and I'm not naive enough to believe he doesn't pursue girls across the pond, or date, or fuck, or whatever, but it feels like something. We've never actually really said anything about our feelings towards each other, other than physical attraction, and fun.
But when he comes back, because I know he will, weather he goes with me to the wedding or not, we are going to see each other and sparks are going to fly, and I'm not going to be able to pretend this is just a friendly casual thing anymore. I'm afraid it will turn into another Lane situation and that left me totally wrecked...
I'm still willing to risk it though, because I feel like, if I fell for him, and he fell for me, and the stars aligned and all that crap, I would move to England to be with him in a heartbeat. Or maybe he'd consider moving here since he loves it so much. Who knows!? Maybe you think I'm crazy, since I said the same thing about Lane, but I meant that too! It's really rare to have such an intellectual, emotional, AND sexual connection with someone. And in my opinion, that's worth sacrificing things for. I realize this is all so far fetched and it's silly to even consider, but sometimes I just can't control my trains of thought. ((Sigh)) And having been single for so long, sometimes those runaway trains are all I've got.

This Could Be Heaven or This Could Be Hell

Chris texted me around 7 or 8 last night and asked if I was going out. I was hoping to go out, but had no plans, so I said I wasn't sure. He said he was flying back from NYC, getting in around midnight and planning to go out for a few drinks and we should meet up. So we did! It was me, Chris, and his friend Joey, who was with him on the first night we met. He's pretty cool. By the time we got out, it was like 1:30am, but hey! We had a great time. We all ended up back in Chris's hotel room, and smoked pot out of an apple lol. Lauren asked me today if I'm sure I'm not in my 20's. I'm starting to think I might be, because I wasn't drunk enough to black out, but the last thing I remember is smoking that pot, and apparently Chris and I had sex and I have absolutely ZERO memory of that. But I woke up in my top and bra, naked from the waist down. Lol, hot. We had sex again this morning though, and that was pretty great, in addition to the benefit of me remembering it. God, he is so beautiful. He has these full, perfect lips that make you just wanna bite them. And the most charming smile. And his tattoos are so sexy. Oh, and his hair! It's so soft and shiny and full and running my hands through it, I imagine it's what quicksilver feels like. Every time I see him, I'm taken aback by how attractive he is. And it doesn't hurt that he's fun, and down to earth, and I don't feel like I have to play games with him, because I know it can't go anywhere. ((Sigh)) That's both an upside and a downside to the situation. I know I said I wasn't looking for a friends with benefits kind of situation, buuuuut that's basically what this is. Whatever. I don't wanna overthink it. I like Chris and we're having fun.

Didn't hear from Adam all weekend soooo I guess that's done. Again, whatever. It's not like I didn't have other things (read: hot guy) to do. 

I've Been Bad

So my friend Lauren who lives here recently found out that her dad has cancer. He started chemo a couple weeks ago, but on Thursday his doctors told them that his liver has completely shut down and they're stopping chemo, and he has 2-3 weeks left. She said she doesn't want sympathy or the "Are you ok?" treatment, she just wants to take her mind off it every once in a while. So Saturday night, we went out. I had to shoot a concert that night, but I met up with Lauren and her friends afterwards around 10:30. We hit a couple spots and then Lauren said she wanted to go Frenchman, so I loaded up all of us in my car and drove us down there. I'd only had 1 drink at this point, so still good to drive. Well as soon as I got us there and parked, Lauren said she needed to go home. She's the kind drinker where when she says, "I gotta go home", she really means it. Lol. If she doesn't go home, she'll either get sick or pass out somewhere. So she left with the guy she was with, and then it was just me and this other dude who I'd just met, and wasn't into. I mean, he was nice, but like... I wouldn't have wanted to go out on the town alone with him or anything. But I had just parked my car, and it was only midnight, so me and the dude decided to at least have 1 drink on Frenchman. So we walked into the closest bar. There was a live band playing and people dancing, and it was crowded. As we were making our way through the crowd, I noticed a group of like 4 or 5 guys, dancing, sans girls, on the dancefloor and just being goofy. And one of those guys was HOT. I made a mental note of this. He looks like a cross between The Model and Brandon Boyd from Incubus. ((Drool)) So I hit the ladies and the guy went to grab us drinks and then we chatted a bit. Then he said he needed to use the restroom, so I figured I would take that opportunity to see if the hot guy was still around. Well the dance floor was crowded enough that I was able to brush right by his friend, and he just happened to be wearing a pair of Luna Lovegood glasses. So I immediately asked him about the glasses, and boom! Conversation with hot guy was on. His name is Chris. We chatted about Harry Potter, music, and other silly things. And he kept saying he thought it was super cool that I was alone at the bar, even after I explained to him that I didn't actually show up alone. Of course, it turns out he doesn't live here. HE LIVES IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA. Ugh. But he's in tv production, and working on a show here until September. WORTH IT. Lol. So we had a few shots, and then things get a little fuzzy... I ended up going back to his hotel with him, and we had a pretty awesome time. It was after 6am by the time we went to sleep and he was supposed to be at work at 8:30 Sunday morning. Yea, that didn't happen lol. He says he set his alarm, but neither of us heard it and he shot out of bed at 9am in a panic. I was a bit hungover, but mostly just tired, and I had to work at noon. So after I left, he texted me! He said he wanted to see me again. So I worked, napped, showered, he did the same, and we met for dinner. Annnnd I spent another night with him.
Except this time things didn't go so smoothly...
My hungover self went through the drive through and ordered a fucking cheeseburger on my way home Sunday morning. I'm a pescatarian. I never eat meat. I felt ok though. Until after dinner. Then my stomach got the lurches and I was starting to worry. But it seemed to go away for a while, until we got back to his place. I had to take a shit. I just couldn't hold it! Lol. And he's staying at an extended stay hotel, not like a house, so the bathroom isn't as private and isolated as it could be! Luckily the exhaust fan turns on automatically with the lights, and Chris was playing music (Jeff Buckley - swoon!) so I figured I had a chance!
*DISCLAIMER* If you don't find toilet humor funny, you should stop reading now.
So I sit down on the toilet, and immediately I can tell that it's not going to be quiet. But I have this theory, that if you pull your ass cheeks apart, your farts will just escape silently, because there's no friction! It actually does work, if it's a dry fart, but that was not the case. It wasn't like a classic BBRRRRFFFT! fart noise that came out. It was abrupt and echoed in the toilet bowl, but still could be misconstrued as me knocking over the trash can, or perhaps opening the toilet lid. So I sat, frozen in mortification for a moment, hoping Chris didn't hear. But there was more. A couple more. Not as loud as the first, but still. UGhhhh, I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I just NEEDED to get it out, I knew as soon as I did I would be 100%, but I didn't have the time or proper isolation to just take a shit! So I shat conservatively and then left the bathroom after what seemed not TOO long. I was just hoping against hope that he hadn't heard or noticed what had just happened.
And he actually seemed totally normal. But then things started getting a little hot and heavy, and I was so sure that I was going to let one rip mid coitus, that I couldn't relax or enjoy myself. ((Sigh)) I mean, we still had fun, but it was mostly strictly missionary position for me, or I risked literally shitting the bed lol.
So finally we "went to sleep". Not me. I laid there literally holding in my poop for hours. Waiting for it to either go away, or for Chris to fall asleep so I could go back to the bathroom. But then I realized it wasn't just poop anymore. My bladder was also quite full, and the pressure of a full bladder really wasn't helping my current situation! So I figured it was safe to get up and have a pee.
But again, once I was on the toilet, I knew what was coming. A big shit was coming, that's what. So I peed first and then waited till I knew it was going to all come out and I timed the flushing of the toilet with that moment so that he wouldn't hear it. I mean he was sleeping, but still. Success!! Or so I thought... I obviously still had to wipe and flush the toilet again. And when I did...nothing was going down! So there was just a big blob of poopy toilet paper floating in there! And no plunger. So I'm standing there whispering, "FUCK FUCK FUCK!" to myself as I frantically search around the tiny hotel bathroom for something...to what? I don't know! I waited till the water stopped and tried to flush again. Still nothing. FUCK! So I carefully and quietly took the lid off the tank and slowly lifted the lever to keep the water draining. That didn't work either, but fortunately, all the replacing of the water left what seemed to be clean toilet paper instead of shitty toilet paper. So I tried to carefully and quietly replace the tank lid. NOPE! LOUD FUCKING CLANKING PORCELAIN SOUND. UGHHHHH FML!!! Literally, "fuck it", is what I thought, and in the most clandestine moment of quick thinking I came up with a story. I hurried out of the bathroom, seemingly worried.
"Hey! Are you awake?" I whispered to him hoarsely. No answer, so I shook him a little, "Hey!"
"Hmmm...?" Either he was deeply asleep, or he's a really good actor, but he seemed totally out of it.
"Uhhh...earlier, did you happen to uh...feel anything inside me?"
"Huh? What you mean, like your birth control?"
"Yea, my ring. I can't find it."
"Well it was definitely there earlier."
"Well sometimes it can become...dislodged during sex. And usually I just check to make sure it's there afterward, but we fell asleep so I didn't. And I just spent like the better part of 13 minutes in the bathroom digging around in my vagina and I couldn't feel it. And then I think I may have put too much toilet paper in the toilet cuzzz it won't flush."
He still looked pretty out of it, but my worried act must've been convincing.
"Ok...well it was definitely there before. I felt it."
"Ok. Well...it could be in the bed. Or...possibly in the toilet."
"Do you need to look in the bed for it?"
"No, it's fine. I can look in the morning. Sorry about the toilet."
"Don't worry about it."
And we went to sleep. And this time, I actually slept. And I think he really did buy that story!!
So this morning, he got up to pee. I heard him flush the toilet, but I could tell it wasn't really flushing. When he came back from the bathroom, he said, "I guess I need to get maintenance up here. Did you ever find your ring?"
"Uhhhh no, but it's fine. I'll check later."
So we laid in bed talking for like 2 hours, and then finally he said he couldn't lay in bed anymore. I actually think he may have needed to take a shit because he called the maintenance person first thing. And I also really just wanted to sit on a toilet privately for a while. Lol. So he walked me to my car, which was sweet, and kissed me goodbye. A LOT. And he said, "Let's hang out again soon." And I, of course, acquiesced.
We texted some more after I got home and finally farted and shat and all that good stuff lol. UGH. I still can't believe that happened to me. Coulda been worse though I guess...
Well I do hope I see him again. I told him I have a whole list of restaurants he needs to try and he said we should start the tour on his next day off. So we'll see...

In other news, Adam. We've been having the same conversation all week. Are you home? No. Are you still sick? Yes. Have you been to the doctor? No. Why not?? I don't have time, but I'm seriously dying. Wah Wah WAhhhhh...
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. ((Sigh))
It's starting to get really old. My prediction for this weekend is he'll spend it in bed, being sick, instead of taking me out, because he refused to go to the doctor and get some fucking antibiotics. Which means, I'll hang out with Chris again, if that's an option. We'll see...

I honestly haven't had this much excitement or activity in my dating life in years. It must be the 20 lbs I lost. I really need to keep that weight off, so help me God!

My English Gentleman

Last night I went to this crazy Mardi Gras costume party. Very exclusive. Kevin invited me a while back and despite the way he's been acting lately, he said he still wanted me to go. So we had plans to meet at this bar and he and his friends had arranged for some sort of shuttle to take us to the venue. My plan was to Uber to the bar so I wouldn't have to drive, but there were no Ubers available because of all the parades and whatnot, so I had to call a regular taxi, which was going to mean I'd miss the shuttle. So Kevin told me to just meet him at the venue, and they'd probably be in the line. So I got there and called him, and their bus hadn't even gotten there yet! So basically, I ended up standing on a street corner alone for 45 minutes waiting in the freezing cold. But he ended up texting a friend of his, Dave, who was already in the line, and he was able to get me in. So Dave was with a small group, and he introduced me to everyone, but the most interesting person was definitely Jamie, the British guy. He was dressed in all pink, including a wig, and was apparently dressed as a rugby player. Turns out, he actually plays rugby (of course). Well we just sort of hit it off immediately, and were talking and found we had lots of common interests - books, BBC Tv, political views, etc. So it ended up just being Jamie and I at the bar alone and his other friends wandered off. Eventually we went into one of the stage rooms to find everybody. I still hadn't heard from Kevin, and it was close to midnight by this time. But then when we found Dave, he said he's just seen him! He didn't even text me to let me know he was there! And then Jamie kept saying, "Oh well we should probably go find him, since you need to say hi and everything." But I was hesitant to do so because of the way Kevin has been acting lately. Ever since I told him I just wanted to be friends, he's been kind of a dick. Trying to make me jealous, and just being generally immature. So I ended up explaining the whole situation to Jamie, who apparently had been under the impression that Kevin and I were some sort of item. I set him straight quickly though, and I told him I'd rather hang out with him than with Kevin. So I did! :)
And we had the best time. I didn't drink too much, which is good. Just enough to catch a buzz. And Jamie and I, both being virgins to this particular party, had a good time people watching. There were people there that were basically naked. Sooo that was interesting. He kept telling me I wasn't like any of the other American girls he'd met, because I'm much more progressive, and I'm very sarcastic, and straight forward, like British people. I laughed and said I'd take that as a compliment. At one point, we were on the dance floor and he was just staring at me, and I said, "What? Why are you staring at me like that?" and he said, "Because I'd really like to kiss you right now."
So I kissed him! It was wonderful. It felt so...organic. I just can't remember the last time I just met someone out of nowhere and liked him like that. I mean he's hot, he's tall, he has a sexy accent, and he's smart and well-read. What's not to like?? Well...there is the part about him living in Manchester. ((Sigh)) Why can't I ever find a good guy that lives HERE?! He's only going to be here till Wednesday. So after we kissed for a while, he asked me if I was free any time this week, because he'd like to see me again. And I told him I didn't really know what my schedule was yet (which is true), but that I'm sure I can squeeze him in. Then we went back to kissing.
Inevitably, I did have to go find Kevin and say hi. It would have been rude not to. So Jamie went off to find Dave, who was holding all his cash since Jamie didn't have any pockets lol, and I went to find Kevin. He was dancing, and super fucked up. Apparently he took ecstasy. ((rolls eyes)) He introduced me to a couple of his friends, but really didn't seem too interested in talking to me. Which was totally ok by me, cuz I just wanted to get back to Jamie, but I didn't want Kevin to see us together, because I figured...I dunno, that would just be too wrong, seeing as Kevin was the one who invited me to the party in the first place. So after Kevin and I chatted for a bit, I told him I was going to grab another drink, and went to find Jamie. Then we continued with our fun night. We stayed until the place shut down, around 4am, and then finally walked outside to find a taxi. I was really uncertain at this point about inviting him back to my place. I mean I wanted to, but 1) my place is a huge mess right now with all these puppies and 2) I told myself I wasn't going to have any more casual hookups, because ultimately, that's not what I'm looking for. But of course, I gave in, and invited him back with me. I mean he had no phone and no money and his friends were gone. I couldn't, in good conscious, leave this foreigner to fend for himself! I warned him about the puppies, and the messy house, but he said he loves puppies, and didn't care. Good thing it was dark. Lol.
So things went basically the way you'd expect. Except, I took off all my makeup. I wasn't worried about what he'd think. And he said I was beautiful. He also said he respected me, and we didn't have to anything I didn't wanna do, but I wanted to. So we did.
It's funny because he's very proper, in a way. He never swears, he apologizes constantly (which is definitely a British thing) and he was bashful to even say the words, "have sex". Lol. He was just kind of like, "Well if you want to..." and he sort of made this gesture that said, "you know what I mean" and I just laughed. While we were at the party, he actually used the words "make love". BAHA! He's so cute. And he literally could not keep his hands off me. Even when we were just laying there, he was constantly rubbing my back, my arms, anywhere my skin was exposed. It was heaven... The sun was up by the time we went to sleep. And it wasn't like real sleep. It was like a nap, followed by more sex, and then more napping. Around 4, we actually got out of bed, and then I drove him back to his friends house on my way to Bethany's for a Super Bowl Party. I only stayed for the first half though, cuz I was exhausted. Jamie doesn't have a working phone here, since he lives in England, but he told me he would Facebook message me. I'm still waiting for that to happen, but hopefully I see him again before he leaves. And if I don't, that's ok. I had a great time, and that's what matters.

Am I Crazy, Or What?

First thing's first. I deleted Tinder. NO MORE TINDER. Ugh. Anyway...

Yesterday afternoon, after work, I met my friend Lauren at this bar cuz she wanted to watch the Broncos game. She was hoping this guy she likes would meet her there, but had a feeling he would cancel and she didn't wanna go alone. I wasn't really that interested in the game, but I had nothing else going on so I figured what the hell! We were 2 of only 4 people that were there at the time, lol, but Lauren knows all the bartenders that work there because she used to hang out there so much. So we hung out, watched the game, and had a couple beers. Right around the time the game ended, the bartenders had a shift change, and a new guy came on. Kevin. And he was HOT. 6'4", nice smile, beautiful creamed coffee skin. He's black, and I've never actually dated a black guy. Not because I haven't wanted to, I just...never have! Although there was that one brief makeout sesh I had with the DJ who worked at my bar in Chicago...lol. Anyway, shortly after he got there, Kevin gave us a round of shots. Then Lauren heard from her dude, and he was asking her to come over. So she wanted to leave! I begged to her to stay, because after taking that shot, I was in no fit state to drive, and of course, I didn't want her to leave me alone at this bar! But Kevin said he'd keep me company, so Lauren left and I stayed. I texted my roommate, Jenn, and told her to take the ferry over and meet us, hoping she could drive us home in my car. So Kevin gave me another shot and we chatted and hung out till Jenn arrived. The night went on basically like that for a while, and then Kevin starts talking about how his birthday is this week and he's going to Austin. And I was like, "Oh!  That's so awesome, I love Austin!" And he was like, "Yea, I've never been. You wanna come?" And I was like, "Uhhhh...what?" And I'm like really buzzed at this point, and of course Kevin and I have been flirting, but that was just very unexpected. Well then he says if I come with him, he'll buy my plane ticket. And Jenn is like "Just go! What else do you have going on?" And I'm like, "Well...let me check with my boss." So I texted him asking him what are the chances I could have a couple days off this weekend, and he said, "Do what you wanna do." 

So then Kevin comes back from the other end of the bar where he was helping people, and he's like, "Well, what did your boss say?" And I told him, and he was like, "Sweet, let's book it!" And he did!!

He bought me a plane ticket right then and there on his phone behind the bar. I still kinda can't believe it. Well then I went to bathroom, and I guess Jenn was talking to him about me, cuz when I came back, she told me he asked her all kinds of questions about me like, "Is she real? There has to be SOMETHING wrong with her! Why is she single?"

And she told him I don't hit the bar scene much, and I don't meet a lot of people cuz of my job, and that if he's just looking for a one night stand type thing, then he should look elsewhere. I'm SO glad she told him that too, cuz I am gonna be traveling and staying in a hotel with a guy I BARELY know, and I don't wanna hook up with him just to hook up with him. I wanna get to know him, and see if the chemistry we have could be more than just physical attraction. But she said he responded positively to that, and that he's not looking for just a hookup.

Throughout the night, Kevin kept taking my hands and holding them from across the bar, and randomly kissing me on the cheek. And he kept telling me my eyes were mesmerizing. 😍I don't do so well with compliments. I never know how to respond! I'm pretty sure I just blushed. But he was acting really into me, and I'm just not used to that I guess. It almost makes me uncomfortable.

After a while, Jenn got bored cuz she wasn't really drinking, since she had to be the D.D. (which she wasn't thrilled about. She kept saying I lured her there under false pretenses lol.) So I asked Kevin if we could close our tab, but he refused to let us pay for anything. Then he came out from behind the bar to hug me goodbye, and he kissed me! On the lips! Not like a makeout kiss, just a short, tender one, on the lips. It was nice! And he's sooooo tallllll I LOVE IT. Then he said he'd like to get together this week before we leave for Austin, which of course, I agreed was a good idea. So he wants to take me out to dinner tomorrow night!

This morning, he even texted me, first thing: Good morning pretty lady. Happy Monday 😘

I'm still a little freaked out that I did something so impulsive. I mean it's great to be spontaneous, and I told myself I was gonna go out and do more things, but...I'm just so surprised at myself! He's like a complete stranger! If it wasn't for the fact that Lauren has known him for years, and she told me he's a really good guy, then I never would have agreed to it. But, everything happens for a reason, right?? I'll keep you posted on our date tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Date Tomorrow

Omg. I have a date tomorrow.With a guy that's even hotter than Richard! We just started chatting this afternoon, and our conversation lasted all night! I ended up getting off around 11 and we were still talking so I said, "I don't wanna sound too forward, but I just got off work and I'm about to go have a beer. Would you like to join? If you can't, it's not big deal, just thought I'd throw that out there."
And he said he would if he wasn't already in his PJ's, but suggested we go out for beers later this week, beers on him, to be precise! And I told him I'm working this weekend so then he suggested we go out tomorrow! So it's settled. Date with superhotguy tomorrow at 8. Let's hope this one doesn't cancel on me...

FWB+...?, Christian Bale, and Bethany

Over the past week or two (during which I have been sick, as I always am at this time of year) I've been seriously considering asking Matt out. Like...for drinks or coffee or something. I mean the booty call thing is great, but initially, I feel like we had chemistry, and I was into him. And I mean the sex is great, so maybe it could work for us if we gave it a shot, right? But of course, there's that age old debate about whether or not I wanna put something that's working so well at risk. I mean, if he's not interested in dating, do I lose my trusty booty call? And if he was interested in dating, why are we still hooking up? I mean if he wanted to date people, he wouldn't need a booty call, right?? I dunno, I guess I've never really analyzed the psychology behind boys and their booty calls, I only get it from my end. To me, sex is important. It's necessary for my health. And while I prefer to be getting it from someone I care about, who cares about me in return, that's not always an option. And finding an attractive, drama-free booty call who actually knows his way around the female anatomy is not easy! Trust me. Oh, and there's that small problem of him being only 25. ((Sigh)) So, do I ask him out, or not?

My trips to NOLA and Houston are coming up quick! There's only 25 more days till Christmas, AH!! In my efforts to avoid having to spend my entire time in Houston with Bethany, I never told her about my trip. But apparently, Taryn got drunk and spilled the beans last week, so I had to do some quick thinking in the damage control department. Bethany posted on my facebook wall yesterday, asking if I was gonna be home for Christmas. I very diplomatically replied that I would be spending Christmas with my mom this year, but that I was thinking about coming to Houston in January. But that I was still trying to finalize dates and things with work and my dad. The backlash from this response was quite funny. First Izzie texted me.

"So I saw you and Bethany's FB exchange. Your Houston trip, is it really not finalized or are you just trying to avoid her? Cuz I'm planning to go to Houston that week specifically to see you..."

Then Jenna texted me.

"I see you folded under pressure."


BAHAHAHA! I reassured both of them that everything is still on, I'm just trying to avoid any more drama with Bethany. But now comes the hard part. I really don't know how I'm going to deal with her when I get there. She left Chicago in the worst possible way, and she never apologized to me for all that bullshit she put me through. I'm willing to forgive, as is my tendency with good friends, but I can't forget. And it's really hard to forgive someone who doesn't even seem remorseful, let alone aware that what they did was completely shiteous. I mean she apologized to Carrie and Ali, so why not me??? Taryn said that when she told her I was coming, Bethany acted awkward and just said "We haven't really talked much since Chicago" and then changed the subject. G, I wonder why!!?? I really do value Bethany's friendship, and I know she's been through a rough couple of years, what with her mom passing away and everything... But she has changed so much that it's like...I hardly recognize the person I used to call my best friend. What's a girl supposed to do in a situation like that???







Well anyway, I have one more juicy tidbit for you guys. :P Last night at work, I was standing in the waitress well staring at this guy facing me from across the bar, for the better part of an hour. He was totally hot, and totally looked like Christian Bale, and I wasn't gonna let him walk out of the bar without at least attempting to talk to him. So I formulated a plan. Lol. I asked Warren to pour me a shot of tequila, and then give Mr. Bale a shot of Jameson from me. Then ideally, he would look across the bar at me, I would hold up my shot, we would take it together, and then he would come over and talk to me. Lol. That was the plan. So I tell Warren the plan, and omg...IT WORKED! JUST LIKE THAT!!
So he's walking over to me, and I'm like "Omgomghe'scomingoverherehow'smyhair?!" to Warren and he just laughs. So then he comes over, and this is sort of how our conversation started...



"Hey thanks for the shot! What was that for?"
"Oh, I was just telling my friend how I thought you looked like Christian Bale, so I thought what the hell! I'm gonna send him a shot."
Then we briefly discussed which Christian Bale he looks like (Batman? American Psycho? The Machinist??? Lol), because apparently he's been told before he looks like American Psycho Christian Bale. And I assured him that that is a compliment, as Christian was much younger then, and in very good shape. Lol. Then I said, "I hope you like Jameson? I wasn't sure what you were drinking over there."
And he said, "Hey, a free shot is a free shot!" Now that's what I like to hear.
He asked me where I'm from, I told him to guess. He said Canada?? WTF? Lol. I asked why, and he said because Canadians are nice. Lol. I said so are Texans. We chitchatted a bit more, but then one of my tables flagged me down, so he said he was gonna go back to his friends, implying I should go talk to him later. So I took care of my business and then he got my attention again as I was heading towards the stairs.
"Sorry, duty calls." I said.
"No, no, I understand! What's your name?"
"Peyton."
"I'm [Christian Bale]." Lol. We shake hands.
"It's nice to meet you." I tell him. I'm sure I could not stop grinning. :)
"Well, would you like to get coffee or something some time?"
"Sure." :D
"I mean I gotta get your number before you leave again."
I laughed and told him I had to grab something from downstairs, but that I would be right back.
So I went downstairs, grabbed one of my business cards and powdered my nose, and then went back up to find him. And he was gone! I couldn't find him anywhere! So I asked the door guy if he'd seen a guy in a maroon v-neck leave. He said no, so I started walking back towards the back room again. Then we ended up practically running into each other at the top of the stairs. So I gave him my business card, and we chatted a bit more. He asked me what my schedule looks like and I told him it just so happens I have this week off school. Then he grimaced, and said he'll be traveling all week.  Which got us talking a little bit about how he travels for work. I asked him what he does, and he said, "Well we'll talk about it. What's your Sunday look like?"
And at first I thought he said "Sundays", meaning all my Sundays, so I said my Sundays are generally free, and I usually do whatever I want, because I don't have school or work. And then I realized he meant this Sunday specifically. So hopefully that didn't make me sound desperate. And then he said, "Well let's do something on Sunday. Forget about coffee, let's do something exciting." And I laughed and said ok! And that was that! He went back to his friends, and I went back to work, and I think he left shortly afterwards, but he has my number! And I really, really hope he calls!
I have this complex where when I first meet a guy, if he seems really into me, I just think it's too good to be true. I dunno why, it just sorta puts me on my guard. Like I don't wanna get my hopes up, ya know? Because if he doesn't call, I'm gonna be really disappointed! :( But the ball is in his court. This is completely out of my control now. ((Sigh)) This is going to be a long day.

The Hottie Next Door

So a couple of weeks ago like a troop of youngish people moved in next door. They're basically all living in a commune and I have no idea what their exact numbers are, but they all seem pretty cool. Tonight when I got home from work, one guy and one girl were sitting outside drinking a beer. When I took Jasper out to walk him, the guy was petting him and fawning all over him. So I stopped to chat with them for a while. Their names are Tara and Roan (sp?) - pronounced R0-en, two syllables. He said he goes by Ro for short. And he's Irish. And SOOOO FINE.... Lol. For one, he's got that sexy Irish accent, two he has a sexy Irish name, and three, he has a sexy, very masculine aura about him. Lol. And he's tall! I have no idea how old he is though. But they told me that they're here for the summer on a work visa, and he's still looking for a job. Lucky for me, I actually know someone who is looking for a guy bartender, so I asked him if he had any experience and if he would be interested. And he said yes, and he would be very interested and that would be great! So I'm trying to hook him up with a job. He also said that if I ever wanted someone to walk Jasper, he loves dogs, and will play with him/walk him anytime. So I definitely might take him up on that, if only for an excuse to talk to him.
Damn he's hot... Lol.

In other news, Bethany tried calling me again yesterday, and I didn't answer. I'm still not over everything that happened and I just don't feel like I really have anything to say to her. In fact, I've already taken most of the pictures I had of us around my apartment down, and replaced them with pics of me and Abbie. Not because I feel like I'm replacing Bethany with Abbie, but mostly because I couldn't stand looking at Bethany's face, and I didn't really have any pictures of me and Abbie up.

A couple weekends ago I hooked up with Matt again. I hadn't seen him since...well since the first time we hooked up in early January, and he just kinda texted me out of the blue. And I was overdue for some birthday sex, so I figured what the hell. And god it was awesome... Just SEX. No drama, no strings attached! And he's lost weight since I last saw him. Not that he was fat or anything before, but now he's like really cut. HOTT. Also, he said we're definitely gonna have to do that again. Haha. I'm down.

Anyway, my dad is coming to visit this weekend for Father's Day. Hopefully there won't be any girlfriend shenanigans. Ugh... I am looking forward to seeing him though. I haven't seen my mom since Christmas and I miss her too! It's weird going for so long without seeing my parents. It's also weird living in a new place that they've never been in or seen. Like...being here and not having memories of them being here, ya know?? Well that's all for now. Hopefully I will have some more exciting news about Ro soon... ;)

The Perfect...

Finally saw Brazil last night! He came over and we ordered in and watched Harry Potter. His flight had been delayed due to plane issues, so he just got in yesterday morning and both of us were too tired to go anywhere, which is why we decided on the movie. And he was the one who picked Harry Potter! Lol, it was the The Order of the Phoenix, since he's seen the first four, but he kept asking me questions the whole time! Lol. We were downstairs watching the movie in my room, cuz I didn't wanna disturb the roommates. Anyway, about halfway through the movie, he started getting sleepy.
"Help me stay awake!" He said.
"Do you want me to slap you?" I teased.
"No! There are other ways you can keep me from falling asleep."
"And what might those be?"
"Well, there's this..."
And he leaned in and kissed me. It's funny cuz he kissed me right at the part where Harry and Cho kissed for the first time. Lol. So we even had kissing music. Lawlz... But damn, he is a really, really good kisser. He kept running his fingers through my hair, and caressing my face. Eventually we made it through the whole movie, granted I had to keep pausing and rewinding due to his kissing and questioning, but we finished it!
And then it was back to kissing. And then that started to lead to other things...
I didn't stop him when he got to second base, but then as he was rounding third I hesitated.
"Let me do something for you..." He whispered to me in that sexy accent of his.
I sighed and caved.
Oh. My. God...
I thought guys that enjoyed going down on girls were just a myth. But they're real! And it was like...mind-blowing good. I mean...wow. I'm getting chills just thinking about it now. I was practically in a state of paralysis afterwards. Then he told me he really likes doing it, and that he would do it again if I'd let him! Lol. He also said women are complicated and special, and that it's flattering if you can give a woman an orgasm. G's, I would be more than happy to oblige him any time after that performance!
So I just laid there a while and he was running his fingers across my skin everywhere, giving me goosebumps. The way he touched me it was like...it was like...so tender, like he was genuinely fascinated or something. Maybe I've just forgotten what it feels like to be spoiled. But here I am talking all about the sexy stuff, and not about the conversation, which was also amazing. I learned a lot about him, and he definitely calmed my fears about a lot of things regarding him. The band thing, the age thing, and otherwise. Apparently he usually dates older women because he said he doesn't have the patience for the younger girls, or something like that. Lol. And he kept telling me I was beautiful, and that I'm a great person and he loves talking to me. Ok now I'm just gushing. But really it was like the perfect night. Perfect. He stayed and we cuddled and he gave me backrubs. :)
I can't wait to see him again.

Hottie #1 and Hottie #2

OH.MYGOD.

Just earlier today I was telling one of the new waitresses at my bar how I'm beginning to feel like Chicago might be a wasteland as far as guys are concerned.
And then I met not one, but two hot guys in one night!!

The first hottie was sitting with about 5 other dudes at one of my tables. They were all friends with one of the doorguys. He wasn't super tall, but he was still taller than me, dark brown hair, and dimples. Really nice, and cute. And at the end of the night, they wanted to play credit card roulette. For those of you who aren't familiar with this game, everyone at the table puts their credit card in a hat, and then someone, usually the waiter or bartender, blindly draws credit cards out of the hat until there's only one left. Whichever card is the last one in the hat, that person has to pay for the whole bill. So I was drawing out the cards, and the cute guy ended up being the one who had to pay. I felt so bad! Lol. So when I closed him out, I wrote him a little note that said,

"Sorry for picking your card!

I owe you one.
[insert my phone number here]
-Peyton."

And I also bought him a shot. I figured what the hell, I mean it's been FOREVER since I've been with any guy, what have I got to lose!?

[Quick side note! DID NOT hook up with Gavin when I was at home. OVER IT. But that's another story...]

So anyway, after they all left, I went over to the doorguy who was friends with all of them to get the deets. And he told me that Hottie #1 lives in D.C.!!! ((Sigh)) Disappointing, but oh well.

So the second hot guy came along about an hour and a half later. I had just walked over to the waitress well for a breather, and he was there in the corner with 3 friends, all guys. I didn't really pay him much attention, because I usually ignore anyone standing close to the waitress well, in order to discourage them from invading my space. It SUCKS when people crowd the waitress well and it makes it practically impossible for me to do my job. So I get a little territorial. But anyway, he turns to me and says, "Can you tell me if you guys have any triple hops brewed beer?"
And my initial thought was that he was looking for a real hoppy beer, like an IPA or something, so I started listing off our PAs and such.
Then he laughed and went on to explain that he was joking, and that Miller Lite is actually advertised as being triple hops brewed. So that just kind of opened up a conversation window, and he continued to talk to me and I continued to stand there and be entertained. I also began to notice how incredibly good looking he was.

I would say he looks like a cross between this guy:




and this guy:




SUPER HOT RIGHT?!?
But that immediately put me on my guard, because generally a guy that good looking who just strikes up a conversation with random girl is only out to get laid. And of course guys like that know they're good looking, and they know they're charming, and they know they've got it in the bag. So I was a little wary...
But he was completely ignoring all his friends to talk to me! And then when his friends went to leave, he hesitated like he wasn't sure if he should go with them, or stay. And he stayed! BY HIMSELF just to hang out with me!
After a while though, he said he had to leave to go meet up with his friends, and he said, "Tell ya what. I'm gonna ask you for your number."
And I gave it to him. :) Didn't even have to offer.
So he left, and Abbie and I gossiped about how hot he is, till I realized he left his scarf behind!
So I pulled out my phone to text him, and saw that I already had a message from him that said, "I'm coming back, I left my scarf!"
Warren said it was cuz he wanted an excuse to come back and talk to me some more. Which is exactly what he did. He stayed and we talked till close. Finally I told him I needed to start doing some work. Lol. So he told me to call him if I wanted to go out afterwards. I don't normally go out after work cuz I'm just tired and sick of being around drunk people, but I debated...

Warren and Abbie told me I should definitely "go get laid" since it has now been over a year, yes a YEAR, since I've had sex. Ugh... And I did consider it but...I just didn't wanna throw away the possibility that maybe, just maybe me and this guy really actually did hit it off. Maybe it wasn't him just trying to get laid...

As I was pondering all these things, I got a text from Hottie #1! I was so shocked, definitely not expecting to hear from him. He said he was only in town for the weekend, but he wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow (NYE) which of course, I told him I'm working. Then he asked what I was doing before or after work, because he had no plans before, and he was heading to some after party later. But by this time, I was already losing interest in Hottie #1, due to the attentions of Hottie #2. Lol. So I texted Hottie #2 and asked him if he was out. He said yes, and we decided to meet at this really shitty bar down the street since a couple of my coworkers were going there. I texted Hottie #1 that I had no idea what my before and after work plans were, but that I'm off Sunday if he was still going to be in town.
I headed out to meet Hottie #2 and then all thoughts of Hottie #1 escaped me. When I saw him at the bar, he was just as hot as I remembered. He smiles a lot too, and you don't really realize how much guys don't smile until you meet a guy that smiles a lot. It's a total turn on.
So he bought me a drink, and we sat down at a table and talked, for about 30 minutes, until the bouncers started walking around kicking everyone out.

Then we wondered outside, still deep in conversation, and ended up getting in a cab.
"Wait, where are we going?" I asked as I closed my door.
He gives the cab driver his address. I almost protested, but then I thought, What the hell? I'm on my period and haven't shaved my legs so I'm definitely not going to have sex with him. Lol. So since I knew I was safe, we headed back to his place. He has a rather large apartment in a decent part of down with hardwood floors. Very creeky hardwood floors. Lol. It's an old building I guess. Him and his roommate had just finished painting the hallway and living room and everything was covered in dropcloths, so we headed in the direction of the kitchen...and his bedroom. And we were talking about who knows what, some nonsense, and then he said, "Ok I'm going to kiss you." And he did.
:)
Then he kept telling me how attracted to me he is, which always makes me feel...uncomfortable. I'm just not good at taking compliments on my looks. I mean it's not like I can really take credit for it, and I don't like to appear vain, so I just never know what to say! So I said, "Thanks, I guess." and he laughed and kept kissing me.

The first thing I noticed about his place is that he has 3 guitars. And he plays VERY well. I made him get one out and play me something. HOTT.

Second thing I noticed is he's a total nerd. He likes math, and the more comfortable he got around me, the dorkier her got! Lol.

Eventually we ended up in his room. So I said, "Look, I cannot stay here tonight."
"I know, I know, I just wanna make out with you." he said. Then his roommate went into the kitchen so he shut off his light cuz for some reason, he didn't want his roommate to know he was awake. And then of course we ended up in his bed. But I did not sleep with him!! Lol. We made out, and he did get my shirt off, but that's it. And he just kept complimenting me! Lol. And we talked a lot, about, oh I dunno, random things. He did try to get me to stay. He said that as much as he wanted to, he knew we weren't going to have sex, but that he's a good cuddler. Lol. But I couldn't stay anyway cuz of Jasper! I would never just leave him like that.
And then he kept saying, "Just 10 more minutes!" But finally I had to put my foot down. It was 5am by the time I left. He walked me all the way to the train.
"So...am I gonna hear from you again? I mean it's ok if you say no, I just...would rather know is all. I don't like to play games."
"Yes you're gonna hear from me again, are you kidding me?!" He said, "And I don't play games either."
"ALL guys play games." I said.
"Well so do girls." He said.
"Well I don't. I'd rather just be honest."

So I'm really hoping that he was being honest, and that I will hear from him again, because I think I really like him....so far anyway.

He doesn't have ANY plans for NYE either! Who just doesn't make NYE plans?! Lol. Maybe I'll invite him over after work tomorrow night...
Oh yea, his name is Matt.