This Could Be Heaven or This Could Be Hell

Chris texted me around 7 or 8 last night and asked if I was going out. I was hoping to go out, but had no plans, so I said I wasn't sure. He said he was flying back from NYC, getting in around midnight and planning to go out for a few drinks and we should meet up. So we did! It was me, Chris, and his friend Joey, who was with him on the first night we met. He's pretty cool. By the time we got out, it was like 1:30am, but hey! We had a great time. We all ended up back in Chris's hotel room, and smoked pot out of an apple lol. Lauren asked me today if I'm sure I'm not in my 20's. I'm starting to think I might be, because I wasn't drunk enough to black out, but the last thing I remember is smoking that pot, and apparently Chris and I had sex and I have absolutely ZERO memory of that. But I woke up in my top and bra, naked from the waist down. Lol, hot. We had sex again this morning though, and that was pretty great, in addition to the benefit of me remembering it. God, he is so beautiful. He has these full, perfect lips that make you just wanna bite them. And the most charming smile. And his tattoos are so sexy. Oh, and his hair! It's so soft and shiny and full and running my hands through it, I imagine it's what quicksilver feels like. Every time I see him, I'm taken aback by how attractive he is. And it doesn't hurt that he's fun, and down to earth, and I don't feel like I have to play games with him, because I know it can't go anywhere. ((Sigh)) That's both an upside and a downside to the situation. I know I said I wasn't looking for a friends with benefits kind of situation, buuuuut that's basically what this is. Whatever. I don't wanna overthink it. I like Chris and we're having fun.

Didn't hear from Adam all weekend soooo I guess that's done. Again, whatever. It's not like I didn't have other things (read: hot guy) to do. 

Late Night Musings with Adam

So just when I thought time was about to run out on Adam, he texted me in the middle of the night. And it just happened, I was awake. So we're chatting for a bit, and he suggests I come over. I'm like, "It's almost 4 in the morning..." and then this conversation happened. Sorry it's so long, but shit got a bit heavier than I anticipated and I want your thoughts.

So he must have passed out at this point, because our correspondence was getting more and more delayed, and since he told me he was probably gonna sleep another full day, I'm not surprised that I still haven't heard from him. I expect I will late tonight again. So since it HAS basically been 3 weeks since I've seen him, I feel like at this point, I would be totally fine with just not seeing him again. I mean not totally fine, but...it's not like I'd be smarting from rejection. I'm just not sure if that's really what this is? He said he'd be willing to try, I'm just not sure if he wants to. I dunno. The fact that we haven't seen each other in so long probably makes it easier for him to part ways as well. So part of me wants to give him another chance to be crazy about me, and part of me wants to just quit while we're ahead if this is going to be a waste of time. He seems like a great guy, and I like him, and I'd like to continue seeing him if this possibly has a future, but if he's not into it then....? Maybe it's just not meant to be. So what do you guys think?
P.S. "Murder Porn" means binge watching crime dramas lol.

Oh Well

Annnnd that's the end of that. The guy I hooked up with, we'll call him Eyebrows, is not lasting booty call material. But oh well. I'm starting to think maybe I don't really want a friends with benefits situation. I mean I definitely wanted to have sex with someone, because it had been wayyyyy too long. But really what I want is a relationship. I just can't go looking for one now that I'm moving.
Oh, why Eyebrows, you ask? No, he doesn't have huge bushy eyebrows. He just does this weird, annoying thing, where he's always raising one eyebrow. Ugh. Over it.