Friend Boy, Jake and Vette Guy

I gave in and texted FB yesterday. I just don't want him to think that because of our conversation the other day, that I'm gonna go off and forget about him. So I wrote, "You know...I'm starting to miss you!"
About 4 hours later, he responded.
"We will hang out soon. I got a lot of responsibility right now. Hang in there."
Melissa didn't like that comment about me "hanging in there".
"As if you just...don't have a life?!" she said.
Lol.

Omg, he just texted me! Brb.

Ok he said, "Today is outrageously beautiful!"
I'm on the phone with Melissa right now and she said he must be thinking about me. I sure hope so! I'll text him back in a little while...

Last night at work, I parked my car over by the shot bar because I never get towed, and it's just a couple blocks over from my bar. As I was walking over, I saw Jake, the door guy, standing outside the shot bar. I was on the phone, but he said hi and came over to give me a hug. I got off the phone so I could talk to him for a little bit. I can't really tell for sure, but I think he may be interested in me. I'm just a little suspicious of his motives, you know since he was talking to Melissa.

So work was definitely great. Haha. Vette Guy came in. Yup, a blast from the past. And he just swaggered up to me and said, "Hey babe! How have you been?"
You know, like nothing ever happened between us. As if he didn't act like an immature asshat the last time I saw him. Anyways, I kinda gave him the eyebrow raise, told him I was fine
"You need a haircut!" I couldn't help but blurt out. He looked completely unkempt and ridiculous.
"Oh...yea well Dolce won't let me cut it, they want it long for this shoot..." I stopped listening at this point. He's so fucking full of it. I really wish The Model and he could meet, and that I could be there. So he would shut up about his stupid pathetic small-town runway gigs that he thinks make him the shit.

Anyways, then I asked him what he wanted to drink. Well it just so happened, that the barback had just stacked some clean glasses on my glass rack. And they were still wet. So I reached to pick one up and it slipped out of my hand and broke. No big deal, all of us bartenders break glasses all the time!
But Vette Guy goes, "Am I making you nervous??" with that sickeningly familiar smirk of his.
But before I could even respond, the blonde standing next to him said, "She should be making you nervous! She's way hotter than you are!"
I busted out laughing!
"I fucking love you!" I said to the girl, and I gave her a high five, and walked away in a fit of giggles. That totally made my night.
And just for the record, I don't know how I was ever into that guy! He's so completely juvenile! Ugh...thank god I didn't have to see him again for the rest of the night.

Well after work, while we were all counting money, Jake came over to my bar and pulled up a chair right next to me. I mean right next to me...touching me. Again, I was on the phone, with Bethany this time cuz she and Tugg were in a huge fight. Why do people always call me with their drama?? ((sigh)) That's what happens when you're a good listener I guess. Lol. Anyways, Jake and I ended up talking for the rest of the night, about work, school, etc. We both went to the same university, so it was nice to reminisce with him. Then I went to clock out, and I yelled, "Who wants to walk me to my car??" Because we never walk alone; it's dangerous.

"I will." Jake volunteered. Again...interested??

So he drove me over there actually, and it was a very short drive, so there wasn't much time for talk. But...I dunno. I haven't really been able to get him out of my head since. I mean, I think he's gorgeous for one. And secondly, all that stuff he told me on Superbowl Sunday about looking for a girlfriend... If that's true, would he really be just trying to play me? Maybe he just wants to be friends, but I dunno...I just get this vibe from him. It's a little too intense for friendship, ya know?

Well I know I'm gonna see him again at work tonight. Perhaps I'll park at the shot bar again just so I can see him. Omg I'm so horrible! AH! I just can't help but be intrigued. I mean if he and Melissa had never ended up talking, however brief that was, I probably would have pursued him. But then I met FB, and I do really like him, but he can't seem to give me the time of day! ((Sigh))

I'm meeting Melissa and her boyfriend for sushi tonight before work. I can't wait!! I freakin' love sushi. Well...that's all for now I suppose!

Demetri Of The Day:
“I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.”

Unexpected Things

Yesterday afternoon found me laying in bed, reading my book as usual. Around 6 I supposed I should get in the shower, in case I decided to go out later. Then when I was on my way home from feeding my horse, Melissa called and told me I'd better come to midtown with her and the girls. So, somewhat reluctantly, I agreed. I immediately went to my closet when I got home to start looking for something to wear. I tried on so many outfits, and nothing seemed right! I was about to just call it quits, and get back in bed with my book, when I stumbled upon an old shirt that I'd only worn once before, because none of my bras seemed to look right with it. BUT, I recently got that new 100 Different Ways convertible bra from Victoria's Secret, so I tried it on, and voila! It was perfect. So I was feeling much better already. There's nothing quite like that feeling when you just know you look good!
So I drove out to meet the girls in midtown. Melissa and the group were eating at a Mexican cantina, so I parked a block away and started walking. I walked behind the buildings instead of in front, so that I wouldn't have to pass by the shot bar and risk running into someone from work. But, I ended up running into someone anyway! Jayme called my name from the patio of the pub right behind the cantina. I turned to see who it was, and went over to say hi.
"I heard what happened." she said.
"Great...I guess everyone knows now huh?" I sighed.
"Um...probably. But I did overhear Blinn and Mr. P. talking about it today."
"Really!? What were they saying??" I haven't heard back from Mr. P. since his last email, and I'm pretty anxious to know what's going on.
"Well, Mr. P. was defending you, and Blinn was pretty much being an ass. He said he saw you do something. But Mr. P. was really sticking up for you. And I heard him say something like why did they have to punish you like that. So I think you might get off the suspension." Jayme answered casually.
"Hmm...well, who knows. But until I hear something, I'm avoiding that place."
Jayme laughed, and we exchanged a few pleasantries before I told her I was on my way to meet some friends, and left.

When I got to the restaurant, I sat down next to Melissa at the head of the table, and immediately told her what I'd heard. She and all the girls are boycotting my bar till I go back to work. Haha, I love them! So there were 4 boys sitting at the table with us who I had never met. Charlotte and Amanda were there too. Apparently they had all gone to high school together, but Melissa and I didn't know any of them. I did notice that the one sitting at the opposite end of the table from me was pretty cute. He had light eyes, dark curly hair, and a nice smile. I asked Melissa about him and she said he was a friend of Amanda and Charlotte's and that he came from a lot of money. Leave it to Melissa to list that as a characteristic. Lol. But she didn't seem to know much else about Friend Boy.

When everyone finished eating, Melissa and I took a cab over to Whiskey Creek where we were supposed to be meeting some more people. The boys didn't seem to like the place all that much, and it was pretty crowded and stuffy in there. I can only handle Whiskey Creek in small doses. Well, after a couple shots, Melissa and Amanda wanted to hit the dance floor, so they handed me their coats and purses and took off. I was a little put out by it at first, but then Friend Boy approached and we started chatting. Conversation flowed easily, and I found that I really enjoyed his company! After about 15 minutes of talking, he asked for my number, which I was delighted to give him. Around this time, Charlotte approached, and Friend Boy was called away by one of his friends.
"Omg Charlotte, he is so cute!"
"Yea, well he has a girlfriend." she said matter-of-factly.
"Seriously!?" I said. Disappointment must have been written on my face.
"Yea..." She sounded like she felt bad for me.
"Darn." I sighed.
Charlotte was walking away just as Amanda and Melissa came back from the dance floor with rosy cheeks.
"So, did you talk to him??" Melissa asked.
"Yea, but Charlotte just told me he has a girlfriend!"
"Well, yea but he's gonna break up with her like...tomorrow!" Amanda said.
"Really? Why? How do you know?" I asked, my interest piqued once more.
"Because they've been having issues, and he was planning on breaking up with her." Amanda answered.
"Hmm... Well...I dunno if I wanna get mixed up in that. I mean he still has a girlfriend! And he just got my phone number!"
I wasn't exactly sure what to think about Friend Boy anymore!

We hung out at Whiskey Creek for a while longer; I saw Vette Guy with some girl. We totally made eye contact too, but he didn't say anything to me. The girl he was with was ugly too! And I looked super hot! HA! Lol. Then Friend Boy asked if there were any other cool places around. Charlotte said she was ready to go too.
"Well where do you guys wanna go?" I asked.
"Let's go to Drake! I've never been there, and I really wanna go!" Charlotte said.
"Ok! Yea, Drake is awesome on Saturday nights. Who else is gonna come?"
"Well Amanda's with me, so she's coming." Charlotte replied.
"Ok, well we should get going then, it's already 12."
So me, Amanda, Charlotte, Friend Boy, and one of the other guys all headed out. We all piled into Charlotte's car, and that's when I noticed I had a couple texts. From Andrew. His text said to come to Drake. Small world! So I wrote him back saying we were on our way there.
We valeted the car, and got in line. They always have such a long line at Drake, but I can usually get in first with club courtesy. I espied Andrew waiting in the line a few people ahead of us. I went over to say hi to him. He kissed me on the cheek, and gave me a hug. I chatted with him for about 5 minutes, then I headed back over to our group, telling him to text me if he got in first. But he didn't. ;)
We had so much fun at Drake! We danced, took a few shots, and lots of pictures! I introduced Friend Boy to surfers on acid. He really liked them. I never ended up seeing Andrew again. He texted me saying they wouldn't let one of his friends in because of his shoes or something... But he said he would be at Rich's afterhours. So I asked the group if they were down for afterhours at Rich's.
"No, we're going to (Friend Boy)'s!" Charlotte squealed.
"You should come, I have plenty of alcohol, and Guitar Hero!" Friend Boy said with a sheepish grin.
"Ok." I blushed.

But our first order of business was to get everybody to their cars. There ended up being 3 cars, and the rest of the guys that stayed at Whiskey Creek met up with us as well. Then I was the only person in a car alone! So I jumped inside the car with the boys and asked if someone would ride with me, hoping, of course, that Friend Boy would. And he totally took the bate! In fact, he immediately jumped out of the car and said, "Sure! I'll ride with you!"
I can't really remember what we talked about as we drove, because conversation just flowed, and I remember laughing a lot. He's pretty funny too! So then we got to his house, and took the elevator from the parking garage up Friend Boy's apartment.
I followed Charlotte and Amanda into the bathroom where they changed into their PJ's. That was when things between Charlotte and I started to get weird... Amanda said something about Friend Boy and I hitting it off, and Charlotte suddenly got very territorial.
"Peyton...Friend Boy and his girlfriend are trying to work things out. You don't wanna get in the middle of that."
"I thought he was breaking up with her? That's what Amanda told me."
"Well he's not." she snapped.
"Ok..."
"Just...don't talk to any of my friends, ok?"
I almost laughed out loud when she said this, because it sounded so absurd! Who is she to tell me who I can and can't talk to!? But all I managed was an, "uuuhh..."
"Well, I'm just looking out for you. Because I mean, you don't wanna mess things up for them, and you'll just end up getting hurt." Charlotte tried to cover for her faux-pas.
"Well, you're right, I don't wanna get involved in any of that. But, I'm not trying to like...be his girlfriend or anything! I just think he's a cool person. And I'm just barely getting to know him." I defended myself. I mean, I don't wanna step on anyone's toes, but it was getting ridiculous. I left the bathroom feeling a bit unsettled.

Melissa definitely wasn't kidding when she said he came from money. He's 23 years old, and this was the nicest apartment I've ever been in! All wood floors, 2 full bathrooms, a huge kitchen, a study... It was super swank! I kept running and sliding across the floors in my socks! We had so much fun goofing off. They had the full Guitar Hero set too, drums, mic and all! And all the guys were playing shirtless, because "that's what real bands do". It was hilarious. I wish I woulda taken some pictures of that! I did notice that Friend Boy has a niiiice body!
After they finished with Guitar Hero, Friend Boy whipped out the Grey Goose and made everyone shots. Lol. Which we hastily chased with Sprite. At some point, Friend Boy and I ended up out on his balcony talking. And then he was kissing me... I pulled away suddenly.
"You know...I'm gonna get in trouble for this!" I giggled.
"What? Why?" he asked.
"Well...let's just say I've been warned about you."
"Warned?" he seemed genuinely confused.
"Charlotte told me you have a girlfriend and to stay away from you." I blurted out.
"What!?" I watched with amusement, as a range of emotions flickered across his face. Shock, confusion, annoyance, anger, determination...
"Well that's not true. I don't have a girlfriend. And she knows that."
"You don't? Well...she said you guys were trying to "work stuff out" or something..."
He sighed.
"The truth is, my girlfriend cheated on me, and I broke up with her, and there is nothing to work out. I just haven't really told anyone about her cheating. But...it was a long time coming I guess. I just let it drag out for too long."
"Oh. I'm sorry. That really sucks."
We sat in silence for a few minutes just staring out at the amazing view.
"Well, can I kiss you now?" he said, breaking the silence.
I smiled, and leaned into him. He really is an amazing kisser. And he kept telling me I was sexy. ((blush))
We must have been out on the patio for a while, because by the time we got back inside, everyone was passed out in a heap of bodies on top of a pile of blankets in his study. I laughed at the sight. Again, I wish I would have taken a picture.
So Friend Boy and I headed into his room and kissing commenced. Things started getting a little heated and I had to stop myself, and him, because I'm not gonna do that again! I eventually fell asleep with his arms around me. It was sooooo nice...just to be held. And I can't quite explain it, but he and I just really clicked. And there's just this...chemistry. Sparks! And it feels amazing.
Since we were up till like 7 am, we slept in till about 3:30. Then we just laid in his bed, talking for 2 hours. We have so much in common! He rides horses, and he likes photography, and he's really smart. I honestly see potential in this guy! It's crazy that it happened so fast, and I'm sure I'm probably getting ahead of myself, and I know I'm being careless by letting him disarm me so, but... I can't help it! He walked me to my car, and told me over and over again what a great time he had hanging out with me. And he said he's definitely going to give me a call this week. Then he kissed me goodbye, and...I left!

I immediately called Melissa on my drive home to dish. She said she's really happy for me, and not to worry about Charlotte because she's obviously just jealous. She said all the guys told her he's a great guy, and that if he and I get together he'll really treat me right. :) And she even told me that I should take him to the Foo Fighters concert this Tuesday instead of her! Even though we've been planning it for a while. I told her no, don't be silly, but she insisted! So I said if he calls me before Tuesday, then I'll ask him. But I'm not going to call him first. So I guess we'll see...

Demetri Of The Day:
“‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It’s just a filler. Sort of... It doesn’t really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’... or ‘You’re going to live’... or ‘It’s a boy.’”

Something Real

Last night there was this show going on that I really, really wanted to see! I think I mentioned it before, because Gavin and Bethany said they were gonna go. Of course, everyone ended up selling out, so I just decided to go solo! I mean it was a Tool cover band! And I LOVE Tool, and I wasn't about to miss this.
So I get there, and none other than Vette Guy walks up behind me! ((sigh)) It was a pretty small venue, and this was the band's first show, so there weren't a whole lot of people there. The band was so awesome though!! I mean I have much respect for any band that can even play a Tool song, let alone 2 whole sets full of them! And they actually sounded good!
Well I ended up hanging out with Vette Guy since I was by myself, and he, apparently was being stalked by an ex-girlfriend. Yes, literally, stalked. She was one of those really in-your-face, all the time kinda girls who just talks and never shuts up. Really sweet, but reallllllly overbearing! And she kept talking my ear off about how Vette Guy is supposedly still madly in love with her. Haha.
Anyways, I've been sick for like a week, so I didn't drink or anything last night, and I hadn't shaved my legs or anything either. Hahaha! But Vette Guy invited me back to his place, so I accepted, but I warned him I wouldn't be staying. Just not a good idea on so many levels. But I figured, a little making out would be harmless, right??
WRONG.
We're goofin' off, having a good time and joking around with each other. And I was teasing him about how much of a player he is. Which, of course, he denied profusely.
"Whatever, you're so good at the game, you don't even know you're playing it." I told him.
"I don't play games! I hate games!" He insisted.
"Ha! Then why do you keep jerking me around so much?" I asked playfully.

I don't really remember exactly what he said after that, except that he suddenly got really mad, and he said he wouldn't ever call me again. I don't understand why exactly, just that I guess the words "jerk around" triggered something, and he got really pissed.

"Dude...why are you so mad? Are you kidding me right now??"
"What did you just say to me? Dude...you have no idea...Whatever. I'm just gonna go to bed. I don't even care."
"Okaaaaaaaay... Why can't you just tell me what's wrong. I wasn't being a bitch, I just wish you would be honest with me sometimes. You never tell me anything!"
"Whatever..."
"Stop saying whatever! Come on! Just tell me what your problem is all of a sudden."
"Whatever..."
"Fine. Well have a good night."
And I left.

I seriously don't get it! I mean, I couldn't count how many times I've teased him about that stuff, and he's never gotten mad. And now, I actually feel bad! ((sigh))
I sent him a text saying I just don't like feeling like a piece of ass (because the whole time I was there, he kept trying to take my clothes off and I kept telling him no). His response was something along the lines of "If that's how you feel, then I'm glad you left. I can get that at any bar, any time. I thought you were real, no drama, but apparently I was wrong. Guess I'll build higher walls next time"
WTF?!?! WHO is being dramatic in this situation!? And WHO'S the one that always gets fucked over and needs to put up walls!?
I think he's got himself confused...
I wrote back, "I just want to feel like I'm not a piece of ass, not just something that happens every few weeks! You make it so hard to get to know you! I mean this is the most emotion you've ever shown me, and it's anger! And you say you're the one who needs higher walls?? Come on! I'm honestly trying here. And I AM real. Most people just can't handle that. So it's cool. I'm used to it."

Of course, he ever responded, and I don't like to end a conversation, or a night for that matter, on bad terms. So I wrote him one more message before I went to bed.
"Look, I'm not trying to bug you, I just don't like to end things on a bad note. So I'm sorry about what I said. Bad choice of words I guess. I just want something real, and I wanna know when it's real! And lately it just seems like I don't know anything anymore...but I shouldn't have projected that on you because I know you don't see me that way. So...again, I'm sorry. Goodnight."

That last message may have been a little much, but at least I know I did everything I could. It's not like I had anything to lose anyways... ((sigh))
I'm just so tired of settling! I mean...why is it so hard to find the whole package!? The nice guys are boring, and/or unattractive, and the attractive guys are assholes and don't give a shit about you. So how do you tell the difference??
Today I spent a good hour looking at modeling shots of The Model online. I miss him. It sucks. I still have this illusion of him in my head as The Perfect Man. And I just can't change that.
Evan and I, and some friends are going to New York City. Very soon! I'm excited, but since we've started planning this trip, I can't get The Model out of my head. I think that's part of the reason why I even went home with Vette Guy last night. But I'm tired of this back and forth. I'm tired of not good enough.

I want something REAL.


Mitch Of The Day:
"I had a job interview with an insurance company, and the lady said, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I said, "Celebrating the fifth year anniversary of you asking me that question.'"

Blast From The Past

Ok let me start with Thursday. I went up to work an hour early to meet Vette Guy. I know, I know, bad move. But in a way, it was a good thing. And you're about to find out why. He was a little tipsy when I got there, and his team was losing, and he was dipping! Yea...effing sick. Well the first thing he starts talking to me about is his new promotion and how he's the youngest senior engineer and the usual me me me gab. Then he starts telling me about his next photoshoot and how he hasn't eaten for 3 days because it's a "shirts-off" shoot. Um...ok Lindsay Lohan! Oh, and he told me he's getting a new Corvette, as soon as the new ones are released, now that he's such a big shot at work and all.
Basically, if you could have seen the look on my face while I listened to him drone on about himself for 30 minutes, it wouldn't take you long to figure out what I was thinking.
Work was uneventful, and I didn't see Vette Guy again for the rest of the night.

Friday evening, while I was getting ready for our GNO, my phone rings. It was The Psycho. You know, my most recent ex. The crazy, controlling asshole one. ((Sigh)) So I answer the phone. Here is the gist of our conversation.
Me: Hello?
TP: What uuuup.
Me: Ummm, not a lot. What's going on?
TP: Uh, thanks for ignoring my call earlier.
Me: I wasn't. I was in the shower.
TP: Yea whatever...
Me: Omg I am so over arguing with you, TP.
TP: Haha, yea right, you could argue with a wall.
Me: Ok.
((awkward silence))
TP: Well I was just callin' to see how you were doin'. Haven't talked to you in a while.
Me: I'm doing great actually. You?
TP: Same old shit...workin my ass off all the time.
Me: At least you're making some money right?
TP: Yea I guess. I'm about to move though. I can't wait to get out of here. Alaska sucks and I don't wanna spend another winter freezin' my ass off.
Me: What about your girlfriend? How does she feel about you jumpin' ship?
TP: I don't give a shit. She's stupid.
Me: ...Ok...
TP: I'm only with her out of convenience pretty much.
Me: Um, ok well I guess I can sort of understand that in your situation...sorta...
TP: You should be able to. You break up with people out of convenience.
Me: ((sigh)) Dude...you don't even wanna go opening that can of worms. Trust me.
TP: Oooook cowgirl!
Me: Don't patronize me. I'm serious. I have had a lot, a lot, a lot of time to reflect upon what happened between us, and I've reached a point in my life where I've accepted it, moved on, and...it just doesn't bother me anymore.
TP: Oh really? Well why don't you tell me about these reflections.
Me: No, it doesn't even matter. It really doesn't.
TP: Alright then. Well...I figured out that when I get out of the army I'm gonna go to school for three years, get a degree.
Me: That's awesome. Good luck.
TP: Yea...
Me: You know, you might think I'm just saying this, but really, we've been through a lot of shit together, and at this point, I think I can honestly say that I wish you the best in life. And if our paths ever cross again, so be it. But I'm not bitter towards you anymore, TP. I really just wish you the best.
TP: Whatever. I do think you're just sayin that.
Me: Well I'm not. But hey, I'm headed out for the night, so I gotta let ya go.
TP: Alright then. Do what you do.
Me: Have a good night.
TP: Yea...
Me: Bye.
((click))
There was a little more meaningless chit chat in there, but it's insignificant.
After we got off the phone, he sent me a text that said, "U know i do think u made a good decision by not comming up here. sometimes i just wish i didnt have 2 lost u over it..."
(He's a horrible speller!)
My response, "It was a good decision for both of us. Not just me."
He replied, "Cool. I can roll w that"

Sooooo, that's it I suppose! So random though... I really never thought I could speak so calmly to him again after all that he put me through. But in a way, it feels better to be the bigger person and make him realize what he's lost, than it does to be mean and let him hate me. It's always easier to hate someone. Ya know?? And I felt really good after that conversation because...he hasn't changed one bit! And I feel like I've really grown since then. And after that conversation, it's evident.

We had a blast Friday night! Hardly spent a dime. Cecilia and Jenna ended up not coming. Boo! But we started off at my bar. The Albanian and Frank bought us some shots. Then we all headed next door. Billy was working. His birthday was Saturday, and it was about midnight on Friday when we got there. So we all wished him happy birthday and he bought us a round of shots. It musta been some sort of red flag for all the guys in that bar that there were 6 beautiful girls standing around, because after that, the shots just kept coming! It was awesome!
But just when I was starting to think that everything between Billy and I was cool, and that we understood each other, he walks up and kisses me. AHHHH!!! And I was a little tipsy, and it was his birthday, so I wasn't about to make a fool of him in front of everybody. So what else could I do but kiss back?? SUCH a bad idea...
You know in the movie Wedding Crashers, when Owen Wilsons character writes a note on a napkin and gives it to a girl? And it says, "Do you wanna dance with me? Yes, No, Maybe."
Well, Billy wrote me one of those that said, "Do you wanna snuggle tonight? Yes, No"
Well I inserted my own "Maybe" box and put a check by it. Then I consulted with Melissa and Alyssa about what I should do. Alyssa said, if I just wanna make out and have fun with him, then go for it. Melissa said, "Omg he is obviously in love with you! He is so crazy about you Peyton! If you don't like him like that, you need to tell him."
((Sigh))
Well, I took Alyssa's advice. Although I actually agreed more with Melissa. I ended up staying with Billy while he closed the bar, and then a group of us went to eat at a 24 hour cafe. By the time we got back to Billy's, it was 6 am. We just completely crashed and that was it.
How can he not notice that I don't innitiate any physical contact!? I thought that would be a huge hint! But I guess not... He asked me what I was doing Saturday night, and I told him I'd be at work late cuz we do inventory, so he said to call him when I got done and "maybe we could hang out". Oh g's...
Well last night was a complete disaster zone!! Our computer system crashed around 1 am and we couldnt open or close any tabs, or run any credit cards...it was horrible. We had to do cash only for the last hour and so many people were getting attitudes with me, it was ridiculous! Needless to say, we were there extra late, and we didn't even get to take home our tips because we couldn't enter in credit card tips.
Oh, and guess who showed up??
VETTE GUY.
His cousin was in town from Louisiana and he was showing her around midtown. And he looked super smokin' too... But after what happened Thursday? I dunno...he's just a total player.
So after work, me, Bethany (another bartender), Gavin, and Jeremy (new door guy) were sitting around talking and drinking beer while they were trying to figure out what was wrong with the computers. I mentioned a local show that's going on this Thursday that I really wanna go to. Gavin was like, "Oh! The Tool cover band! I love Tool!"
And so do I, obviously.
So asked him if he was going, and he said to call him and let him know when we'd be going cuz he gets out of school at 9pm. Then we all decided we were gonna go eat at Katz's Deli. It was like 5 am and we were all starving. So Bethany and I drove over together, and Jeremy and Gavin followed. Well Gavin ended up not showing up, so I sent him a text that said, "You're a f*cking sellout!" Haha.
Well he immediately calls me! He explained away how he has to get up early and bla bla, and told me to talk to him till he gets home. So I did! Then when we got off the phone, he sent me a text.
Gavin: u working tomorrow?
Me: Yea, at 7. You?
Gavin: hell no...but i might come up there to drink around 9...will c.
Me: You suck. Well yea, I'll be there...being miserable like I am every Sunday!
Gavin: ha can't be that bad
Me: You have no idea... Sundays are the worst. It's like, hey, if you're a dumbass, come to (our bar) on Sunday!!!
Gavin: nice... well im crashing...enjoy ur 12 dollar hot dogs hehe maybe c u tomorrow night
Me: Oh I will! 12 dollars hot dogs are the best! Good night!

Was he flirting??? YES?? NO??? MAYBE???

Guess I'll find out at work tonight...

Mitch Of The Day:
"I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late."

Clarity

Ok I know it's been a while, so I have a lot to write. I'm gonna try to to this chronologically.

Last Saturday we stayed after work and played poker. It was so much fun! Annnnnnd...Gavin was there. He sat next me and we talked a bit. I know I said I was over him, but hey, he's still hot and available as far as I know! So we goofed off and drank and played cards till about 7:30 am, and then the people that were still playing decided to take the party over to DJ's house because the cleaning crew was about to show up! Gavin invited me to go smoke a bowl with him at his place, and I was soooo tempted to, just so I could hang out with him, but it was 7:30 in the morning, and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. So I went home. He said his offer still stands anytime. So we'll see...

As for Billy, we hung out a lot this past week! I stayed at his place Thursday, Sunday, and Tuesday! We ate out, and watched movies mostly, but it was fun. I did, however, realize that my fears of not wanting a boyfriend weren't actually self-sabotage. It was the truth revealing itself to me in it's own way. The thing is, Billy is a supernice guy, and he seems to be genuinely into me, which is more than I can say for any of the guys I've dated this summer. So I guess I kinda jumped at the chance to have someone there who would appreciate me, when really, he isn't the guy for me. I mean he's great, and fun, but after the excitement of having a new guy wore off, there just wasn't any chemistry. I mean, I'm not that physically attracted to him either, and I kinda feel like I'm settling, just because he likes me. So...I'm going to have to end things with Billy. I'm just not really sure how at this point. I just don't want things to get too far, and too involved, and too messy. So it's better to end it after a week, than after a couple months. Right?? I mean this might sound awful to some of you guys, like I'm just throwing back the first good guy I find, but honestly, I'm goin' with my gut on this one.
((sigh))
In other news, I've been kind of avoiding May lately. Well, not exactly avoiding, I just didn't have any desire to hang out with her because she acts so...different! She got back with the shady ex-boyfriend, and things just went downhill from there. But of course, they broke up again, and I wanted to wait it out a little and see if it would stick. So I called her up yesterday and asked if she wanted to go to dinner. Well dinner turned into going out after we'd had a couple margaritas! Haha, but we had a blast! We got ready at my house and headed to midtown to find the party. Granted, it was a Wednesday so we weren't expecting much! We went to several different places, and they were all slow, so we finally headed over to my bar. The Albanian was working. I asked him where everybody was tonight and he said, "Why aren't you at Rich's?? DJ AM is spinning tonight!"
I had heard that DJ AM (you know, the guy who dated Nicole Richie) was going to be in town, but I didn't know when, so this was definitely a pleasant surprise. The Albanian pulled 2 tickets out of his pocket and handed them to us. We thanked him a million times and bolted out of there as fast as we could!

When we got to Rich's, the place was packed! Definitely more excitement than we had bargained for on a Wednesday night! So we valeted and headed inside. I ran into Frank, and a few other people from work and we took a couple shots. I got a cute bartenders phone number too, so I guess you could say the night was a success!! ;)
Rich's stayed open till 5 am last night, but pretty much everyone left at 2 because the bar closed. So a few of us decided to go to our favorite 24 hour restaurant for some grub. May came too of course, but then she got a mysterious phone call and someone picked her up. She called me later and said she was too tired and not feeling well so she called a friend. ((shrugs))
Anyway, so it was just Frank, The Albanian, and one of our managers whom I will call Mr. S.
After dinner/breakfast Frank asked if I wanted to stop by and see the (our) apartment, since it was just down the street. I jumped at the chance because I'm supposed to be moving in in 2 weeks!
And he wasn't kidding when he said he was doing serious work on it! The apartment looked like a construction zone! The entire place was covered in dust, and there were half finished projects everywhere! But I can tell, it's gonna look bad ass when he gets finished! I mean he completely flipped it! Haha, seriously, I told him he should work in construction. It was pretty amazing. I also told him we're having a huge house-warming party. Lol.

Ok so last, but not least, in the news, Vette Guy called me yesterday. ((sigh)) Yea...a whole 'nother can of worms. He wanted to know what I was doing tomorrow (today) because he's gonna be up at my work watching the football game. I told him I'm working at 10, and he said I should come in earlier and hang out with him. So...I dunno. I'm kinda thinkin' about it, just because after the Billy situation, maybe I need a jump start?? I dunno...maybe that's just a really really bad idea. I'm leaning towards the latter. But I'm still not sure what I'm gonna do.

I have off tomorrow, for like the first time in weeks! Melissa and I have big plans to hit the town. I got the cutest dress! Jenna's coming too, and Alyssa and Cecilia!! Her mom is taking Presley for the night so she can have a girls night out with us. It's gonna be so much fun, I can't wait! Maybe I'll meet a new hot guy...or maybe I'll just have a grand time with my girls, as always!

Mitch Of The Day:
"A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage."

Austin!

This post may be a bit cumbersome cuz Jenna and I are in the car on our way to Austin! I'm typing this on my blackberry. We're gonna hit 6th St tonight and float the river tomorrow if the weather permits. It feels so good to be getting out of town! I really needed this, and I am SO excited!
I had the worst weekend ever, just as expected. Mitchell and The Model showed up at my work Saturday night and they didn't even come to the back bar to say hi! I just happened to run into them on my way to the bathroom. The Model was overly nice, acting as if nothing happened. He hugged me like 4 times. But after work I found out from Nick that he gave his number to Kristin, the new cocktail waitress!! To be honest, I've been putting off writing this post so I wouldn't have to think about it. ((sigh)) I can't even begin to explain how much that hurt me. Will I EVER get over him??
Moving on...so phase one of moving out is complete! I've been keeping track of all the money I spend and earn and I know how much I can save. So I'm moving in with Frank! I'm actually really excited about it! I love Frank; he's so much fun and we get along really well.
As for Vette Guy, I'm done. Seriously. He just likes the chase and I'm tired of running. I'm genuinely losing interest in him now, which helps!
And hey, maybe I'll even get lucky and meet a hot guy in Austin! We'll see... And I'll definiely keep ya posted!
No Mitch today, sorry guys! I don't have the resources at the moment.

Baby Presley!!!

Omg Cecilia had the baby around midnight last night. I was working, so I couldn't be there, but I jumped up outa bed this morning and dashed over to the hospital. Her name is Presley and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen!!!
I mean seriously, most newborns kinda look like aliens, but she is just...so dainty and feminine and absolutely breath-taking!! It's so weird how you can fall in love with a baby so quickly! So I am now Aunt Peyton. :D :D
I spent most of today in the hospital with Cecilia, her husband Rob, and the baby. She's sooo quiet! Even when her diaper had to be changed, she hardly fussed at all!
So I'm really excited about Baby Presley, she's absolutely adorable!
In other news, Vette Guy called me last night as I was pulling into work! What are the chances huh?? He was driving back from McAllen, which is about 5 hours away from here. Another business trip, for modeling this time. Since I was just getting to work, I could only talk to him for like 5 minutes, but he said we should get together tomorrow (now today).
And believe it or not, I just got off the phone with him! He's on his way to some meeting for another fashion show, but he said it should only last about 30 minutes and then he's gonna call me. Soooo...we'll see. I'm really trying not to put ANY eggs in this basket. And my good friend Izzie is in town, so if he bails, I've still got plans to go out with her and Megan. Megan's wedding is in about a week. I'm thinkin maybe, just maaayyybe, if all goes well with Vette Guy, I might ask him to go with me. I hate going to weddings solo. It totally sucks. But I'm not sure things between Vette Guy and I are even at that point yet, or if they will be in a week. Actually, I doubt it. But hey, it's just an idea.
So wish me luck tonight!!

Mitch Of The Day:
"I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something."

The Good and The Bad

This is going to be the worst weekend ever.
I'm scheduled to work Saturday night. Yea, the night of the Incubus show, that I have really badass tickets for. UGH. I'm so disappointed. It doesn't look like I'm going to get my shift covered either. The other night at work, Gavin was hanging out drinking, and kept bringing up the concert. I know he was just messing with me but it just REALLY SUCKS! Mark said he would do everything he could to try and get me off, but he's scheduled to manage that night, so it's not looking good.
The other reason it's gonna suck??
The Model. He and Mitchell will be in town this weekend for a wedding in their family. And of course, they're gonna be at my bar. It's pretty much Mitchell's favorite place to go. So I'm gonna have to sit there and watch as girls throw themselves at The Model, and there won't be anything I can do about it. I never heard a word from him since the incident. What a complete fucking asshole. ((Sigh))

I do have some good news to report though. Cecilia was admitted to the hospital yesterday so they could induce her into labor. Something about her blood pressure... But I went straight there after work last night and she's doing fine. I hung out with her for like 5 hours. They had her hooked up to an IV and everything in the antepartum wing, while she waited for a room to open up in the labor and delivery area. She's there now, and they already gave her the pill. The doctor's gonna check to see if she's dilated at all in about....45 minutes! I have to work at 9 tonight, but hopefully something will happen before then and I won't have to miss it! I've been texting her all day to make sure she's doing ok. It's gonna be so exciting when her baby is born!! I can't wait!

Oh, and I've been meaning to mention that things at work with The Albanian and I have just gone totally back to normal. It's almost like we never kissed! But I'm totally ok with that. I just didn't want things to get awkward. And as for Vette Guy, I asked him if everything he'd told me was true, or if he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear. He said he was being honest, but he's just not sure if he's ready for anything yet, and that "only time will tell". He also said he "better get to see me this week". I told him he better call me then. But I have yet to hear from him.
I'm SO over playing games with him. I'm just pretty much indifferent at this point. No word yet on the job in NY either. Oh, and just to clear something up, Vette Guy isn't moving anywhere! He just had a business trip.

Mitch Of The Day:
"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down. "

The Return of Vette Guy

On Friday night, as soon as I got to work, I got a text from Vette Guy asking what I was doing. I told him I was working, and that he should come visit, and he said he would! So I was really distracted at work, thinking he could walk in at any moment! I had my phone sitting behind the bar on the back counter, so I could briefly glance at it every once in a while to see if he'd texted me. Well, after about an hour, I looked back and my phone was gone!! My manager took it away because I wasn't supposed to have it behind the bar! Gay... So my night went downhill from there. And of course, Vette Guy never showed.
Finally, at the end of the night when we were counting tips, I got my phone back and I had 3 texts from him. The first one was asking if I could get him out of the long line, the second one said "I'm leaving" and the last one said something along the lines of, "I guess you had better options...hope you have a good night".
((sigh))
Well I immediately texted him back, and explained what happened. I wasn't really expecting a response though, cuz it was like 3:30 am. But on my drive home, he called me. He wanted me to go hang out with him in the hot tub, and he was obviously drunk. I told him not tonight, I was too tired, it was late, and I was already on the other side of town. Then he proceeded to get mad, because he "doesn't like being turned down"! Well tough titties, maybe he should get turned down once in a while!
So on Saturday, I called him around 4 in the afternoon to see if he even remembered talking to me. He admitted that he was indeed drunk the night before, and that he really wanted to see me. So I told him that Melissa and I, and some friends, were going out and he should meet up with us later. And he said definitely.
Well we went to my work, as usual, (as if I don't get enough of that place) and Frank was working. He gave us all a round of free drinks, and we hung out for a little while. Then we decided to check out the new bar around the corner, since I hadn't been there yet. At this point, I still had not heard from Vette Guy, so I was beginning to think he'd be another no-show. Well we headed next door, got in VIP since I bartend around the corner, and we got a free round of shots from Billy, who was working! In case you don't remember, Billy is the cutie I met on the bus to and from the employee outing last week. Then I got a text from Vette Guy asking where I was. So we had to rush back over to my work to meet him. And I have to say, he was lookin' fine in a baby blue and white striped button down, with the top 3 buttons undone! I gave him a hug, he told me I looked amazing, and we caught up for a little bit. Then we went our separate ways. Me and my friends headed back next door, and he went to meet up with his friends somewhere down the street. But he promised to call me later. I wasn't gonna hold my breath.
Well, later rolls around, the bars are closing, Melissa and her boyfriend (yes, boyfriend! She's crossed over to the dark side...) left together, and Vette Guy is actually calling me! He wanted me to come and meet him somewhere. I offered to pick him up, because he had ridden with his friends. So I went and got him and we began the drive to his place. This is where it gets interesting...
I don't know how we got on this topic, but we actually talked about our feelings! I was giving him a hard time about only hearing from him once a month before he goes MIA, and he said something like, "Whatever, it's not like you even notice or miss me!" I refuted him and told him I definitely notice! And I said, "Look, it's obvious that you're not looking for a girlfriend" but he interrupted me with "Actually...I am."
Me: Well then...why are you playing games with me? You obviously don't think that I'm girlfriend material. So why bother?
VG: No, it's just that you scare me. How can you, who I've only just met, break through my walls so easily? It's like I already feel too comfortable with you, and I'm not gonna let myself get hurt.
Me: ((jaw drops)) What?? You can't protect yourself forever you know. Everybody get's hurt. That's just life.
VG: Well I've been really screwed over, had my heart taken away from me and stomped on, and I'm not gonna let that happen again.
Me: ((sigh)) Well me too...but I guess I just wear my heart on my sleeve. Everytime you protect yourself, I'm the one who gets hurt.
VG: Nuh uh! You don't even care about me!
Me: What!? Of course I do! Look...the last relationship I was in, sucked too. And I do like you and I'm obviously attracted to you...
VG: Well I am obviously very attracted to you too!
Me: Well you really did hurt me when you gave me that whole excuse about us wanting different things. I'm tired of playing games. And that just sounded like BS to me.
VG: I just didn't think you seemed like you were that into me.
Me: Well you're wrong.

I don't remember the rest, and there was definitely more to that conversation, but I can't remember every minute detail. I think we changed the subject after that. Anyways, we'd been sitting in the car in his parking garage talking for a while now. I don't really know if we've come to some sort of agreement, or what. But before I left, he kissed me and said, "Gimme a shout tomorrow, babe."

Now it's the next day, and I'm thinking...what if that was just another one of his lines?? Or another excuse??? I don't know! I am pretty gullible. Although I found out he wasn't lying about going to London... So I don't know. Does he really like me?? Or was he just trying to get me to sleep with him?

Mitch Of The Day:
"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later."

Loose Ends

Evan and I hung out the other night, and things were just...weird. I mean it was like neither of us knew exactly how to act, or if the other was thinking yes, no, maybe? So I said "Evan...I think maybe it would be easier on both of us if we just stayed friends" and he agreed. We've just been friends for way too long, and I don't know how else to act with him! So, friends it is.

I'm still waiting to hear about the job in New York City. I want it sooooooo bad! I mean, I know I need to get my life together. I feel like I'm falling in a black hole, and I don't wanna get stuck. And moving to a new city, with a blank slate is just what I need. I hope...

Ok, I know I said I wasn't gonna do this, but I just can't keep my mouth shut! If you're going to comment on my page, please don't patronize me or talk to me like I'm a dirty slut. Because I'm not. I don't sleep around. In fact, the only guys I've ever blogged about sleeping with, are The Model, and Vette Guy. And The Model is an enigma in itself... I would freakin' marry the guy if he asked me! I think every girl has that one guy that they will always go back to, no matter what has happened in the past. And he is that guy for me. Not because he's a model...because he's him! He's fun, and goofy and crazy, and before all the drama went down, he was someone I could just be myself with. Because we didn't have any pretenses. We were just friends...with benefits! As for Vette Guy...he was definitely a mistake, but I really liked him, and I thought it was going somewhere. And nobody is perfect! So why do people have to be so judgmental? I never thought I could receive so many hurtful comments from people just because I wrote something, and I was being honest about it. I wasn't relieved that The Albanian and I didn't have sex. I did not want to sleep with him. I wrote "and no clothes came off" to emphasize the fact that there was passion, but also innocence. So some of you may have misrepresented me in your comments. I'm not asking any of you to like me, and I'm not trying to win anyone's favor. I'm just chronologging my experiences in 20-something life for my own amusement. And I'm learning from my mistakes. Oh, and please don't start comment wars on my page either! As fun as those are to read, they get out of hand pretty quickly.
So if you're enjoying my blog, and you have some advice for me, good or bad as long as you're not bitching me out, then go ahead and comment. Otherwise, seriously?? No one's forcing you to read this. If you're so disgusted by me, then don't.

G's I hope I don't have to do that again...

ANYWAYS . . .
Cecilia's baby shower is this Saturday. Her cousin and I are hosting it. I can't wait, it's gonna be so much fun! I've never really been a baby crazy type person, but I really can't wait till she has her baby! Cecilia is my first really good friend to have one. I was talking to her on the phone yesterday, and I told her she HAS to call me as soon as she goes into labor! She promised I'd be the first one she calls (besides her husband) and that I can be there in the delivery room if the doctors let me. I've seen horses give birth, but never a person. Lol, and I dunno how similar that is, but I'm looking forward to it actually! I told her she might decide she doesn't want me in there with her, but she said "Whatever, bitch! You better show up with some Starbucks!" Hahaha! I so love her! I've missed her too, being pregnant and all. But we're gonna go have some girl time today. I have some shopping to do so she's gonna come to Target with me. And tonight, Melissa and I are gonna have dinner at Friday's before I have to go to work.
So today will be a great day for girl bonding!

Mitch Of The Day:
"I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy."

Boy...Friends??

Friday was so much fun! I picked up Sophie from the airport, and we went straight to the spa to get pedicures. I caught her up on all my boy drama, while we relaxed and got our toes painted. Then I went home and got ready for work.
Friday, Sophie went to work with my mom, and I went to the mall to get something to wear. I bought Sophie a new top and a pair of shoes, because I knew she most likely wouldn't have anything appropriate to wear out to midtown. I also got myself a sexy new black top. Sophie loved the outfit I picked out for her! When she got home, I was already ready to go, so I made her sit while I did her hair and makeup. She looked absolutely fabulous when I was done!
We met up with Melissa at Friday's for dinner and cocktails. I ran into an old friend from high school while I was there too! We'll call him The Thespian because he was all into theater and acting back then. He invited me to a housewarming party he was throwing Saturday, and we exchanged numbers, and flirted a little bit. So Friday's was fun, as always, although Sophie and Melissa were already heavily buzzed by the time we left. So not fair!
Well we got downtown, and headed to Rocbar, which happens to be one of my favorite spots. They play the most kickass music! The bartender bought us our first round of drinks, and then we ended up getting free shots from somewhere...it was awesome! Evan and some of his friends met us up there after about an hour. We also saw three girls from the last season of The Bachelor!! I totally got pictures with them, and then we all danced on top of the tables. Over all it was a total blast! By the end of the night though, I was the drunkest one! So Evan offered to drive Sophie and I home. He had ridden with one of his friends, so he didn't have a car.
Sophie invited him to spend the night since he didn't have a way back to his place either way. And that's when things got a little crazy... I dragged him into my room, I don't even really know what I was thinking! And we're laying in my bed, talking about who knows what, and he says, "I'm debating whether or not I should make a move."
I giggled, and before I knew it, we were making out.
And not too long after that, the clothes started coming off...
AH! Just thinking about it makes me feel...I dunno! I can't even explain it! We didn't have sex, which is good, because I'm trying to behave. But the weird thing is, I've just never really thought about Evan that way. I mean we've known each other since junior high school, and we've always been good friends, but we've never kissed, or anything! So when I woke up at like 7 am, naked, I figured it would be a good idea to get dressed and go to Sophie's room. It would only be a matter of time before one of my parents poked their heads in the door. It was a bit awkward, but no one was any the wiser. ((whew!))
I confessed to Sophie that we kissed, but I didn't give her any details. SHE thinks I should go out with him. And I dunno, I mean...I love Evan! I really do, but...do I really wanna go there??
I've done nothing but think about it since it happened, and he told me he feels really bad about everything because I was so drunk and all. But he was drunk too. Just not as much as me! And he said he thinks I'm "effing sexy as hell" :D I couldn't help but be flattered!
Ok. So yesterday, Vette Guy and I had plans. But by 4 o'clock I still hadn't heard from him! And I was starting to wonder... Then I get a text at 4:30 that says,

"Hey u..hope u hada good wk! i hav2go 2 england n tha mrnin and my bro just got back frm rangr training..can we get 2gthr when i get back?"

((sigh)) I should have known. I deliberated in my mind for a while about what I was going to reply, and if I was going to reply. I finally wrote, "I'll think about it."
His response was, "Umm ok..or not"
I said, ";) have fun in england you turd."
I decided to go with the flippant, idontreallycarethatyou'reblowingmeoff attitude. We'll see how that works out.
So I called up The Thespian to let him know I'd be at his party.
Which turned out to be really lame, and he kept hitting on me the entire night! Ugh. Not to mention I was exhausted from lack of sleep as a result of my little trist with Evan. So I tried my hardest to get the hell out of there. Now I have a persistant and very annoying admirer. ((sigh)) I dunno what I'm gonna do about him.
But as I was driving home from The Thespian's party, I just kept thinking about Evan. And what's the worst that could happen if we tried dating?
Well for one, it could go terribly wrong and I could lose his friendship...
But maybe it could be great! I mean he's a funny, sweet guy!
But everytime I try to cross that line with one of my friends, I start to feel weird and uncomfortable about it. And I've never been uncomfortable around Evan before. I don't wanna start now!
Well, I sent him a text at like 3 am that said, "What if, maybe, I liked you?"
I got his response this morning: "Get out! ((Elaine shoves Jerry)) I'd be shocked...I'm not really a model Peyton."
AAAWWWEE!! And I loved how he put the Seinfeld allusion in there! It made me laugh, and we both totally love Jerry. ((sigh))
WHAT DO I DO!?

Sophie's graduation party is tonight, followed by the work outing. I'll post again tomorrow.

Mitch Of The Day:
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."

New Beginnings?

Sophie's here!! YAY! We're hittin' the town tonight and I literally cannot wait! I'm gonna dress Sophie up and do her makeup. She's never been one for getting dolled up, but tonight, she will be! It's Friday's at 8 for dinner with Melissa n' company, and then heading to midtown for some party time!
Tomorrow is my date with Vette Guy. Melissa says maybe he likes me, but he's insecure and doesn't know how to act around me or something, which is why he tries so hard to impress me... I dunno. I guess I won't really know what's going on till tomorrow night. But I know what's not gonna happen!
I don't even know where we're going. He better not be planning on taking me back to that same restaurant as last time! He needs to get creative. I'm gonna try to get him to take me roller skating. Haha!
Anyways, last night was relatively uneventful, as usual. ((sigh)) I think Gavin has started seeing someone or something. He never hangs out after work anymore, and he just doesn't seem...interested like he did before. And I don't seem to be getting anywhere on that front. So, I give up. I'm moving on.
Speaking of moving on...I may have a job opportunity in New York City. And I'm really considering taking it. I mean...I really want to move out of my parents house, I know I don't want to stay in Texas forever, and what exactly am I doing?? I'm just...floating. ((sigh)) The thing is, I've made new friends here, and I like my job, even though it's just bartending part-time. I was planning on keeping my bartending job even once I did get a real job. Just because it's fun! But I think I seriously might look into this job. I would be someone's personal assistant. I don't know any details yet. My best guy friend Todd's mom works for BP as like the head hauncho's secretary. So she has a lot of connections. And someone she used to work with, told her about this job. So she told me yesterday she's going to get in touch with him and try to find out some details. I know it doesn't really have anything to do with my degree, but I don't care. I just want a job that has benefits, that I enjoy. And I think I could enjoy this. Especially living in NY! I'm such a city girl! And that would definitely make some great blog entries... So we'll see.
Sunday is the Annual Summer Employee Outing! We're all taking a charter bus fully stocked with alcohol to this Texas country concert. I've never really been a huge fan of country, but I am a huge fan of friends and booze! Haha. It's gonna be so much fun, I can't wait! Sophie's graduation party is that night at 6 though, and we're supposed to meet at work at 9, so I'm gonna be cutting it close! But, I cannot miss this!! Sophie doesn't mind anyways, she's got friends to catch up with here.
Anyways, I'm gonna try my hardest to post more, it's just that I don't always have anything interesting to write! So I usually wait until I have enough dirt to post a new entry.

Mitch Of The Day:
"I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary."

A Girl Can Only Dream...

Last night I had the most amazing, most vivid dream about Gavin! We kissed, of course, and it was incredible! And then I woke up. ((sigh)) And now I'm as impatient as ever to kiss him for real! We didn't do anything Saturday night! I'm starting to think this is never going to happen. GRRR!!! Maybe I should just be patient and let the pieces lie where they fall. Not like I have any other options at this point...
So, Vette Guy called me again today. I finally answered and he's taking me out to dinner Saturday night. ((sigh)) Probably a bad idea but it's not like I have anything else going on... And I know what you're thinking and I'm NOT gonna sleep with him! I just need to go on a good date!
My sister, Sophie's coming into town Thursday! I can't wait! She'll only be here a few days but it'll be enough time for us to have some sisterly bonding time.
Friday night, Melissa, Sophie and I are going out. Saturday night is my date. Sunday night, employee outing! Another opportunity to hang out with Gavin, but I'm not holding my breath.

Mitch Of The Day:
"I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle."

DiZzY...

Well...I have kind of a lot to write, and hardly any time to do it, so here goes.

Thursday
Melissa's little sister Dee's 21st birthday celebration. We started early at Friday's with dinner and mojitos, then headed to midtown, to my bar, of course! We had a blast, and I had a little too much to drink. Eric The Skeaze showed up, and I ended up making out with him again. ((sigh)) Old habits die hard I guess. Oh well. No harm done. Said a brief hello to Gavin on my way in, but didn't have much opportunity to talk to him after that. Poo.

Friday
Frank asked me to dinner. Yea. Ugh. So much for my new roommate. I could be overreacting though, tell me what you think! He texted me Friday afternoon to see if I was working. I told him yes, at 10. Then he replies, "Want to go get something to eat before we go to work?"
I told him I didn't have time, which was true, even though I would have made up an excuse regardless. So...yea. Don't know what to make of that one.
Also, my phone had died because I'd forgotten to put it on the charger when I got home Thursday. So when I turned it back on, naturally I had texts and voicemails waiting. I had a voicemail from someone who sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place it...
"Hey it's me. I was just wonderin' if you wanted to come hang out by the pool. So...gimme a shout whenever you get this. Late."
I pressed the call-back button.
OMG. It was VETTE GUY!!
WTF?! What is he thinking calling me and saying, "hey it's me" like I just know who the hell "ME" is!? Like we just chatted over cocktails yesterday! Ugh. I did NOT call him back.
So when I got to work, I was the floater, which means they kept sending me back and forth between the 2 bars, depending on who was busier.
So I did something kind of out of character last night. I gave my number out to a guy at the bar. The only reason I can come up with as to why I did that is because he just looked like someone I wouldn't normally go for. And maybe I should give some someone different a chance. Someone that I wouldn't normally go for. So we'll see...
Gavin was there, drinking. He got off at 9. I chatted with him a little bit, but I didn't have much down time and stupid Nick (another bartender) runs up in the middle of our conversation and says, "Gosh Peyton! I know you wanna make out with Gavin and all, but why don't you get to work!?"
He is SUCH an instigator!! And he loves to spread rumors. I know he's just messing around, but still, he's totally ruining my game!! Not that I had any to begin with, but hey... ((sigh))
So I kind of kept my eye on Gavin through out the night, hoping he'd stay till after hours so we could all drink and hang out. I saw a couple of girls flirting with him, and it looked like he was flirting back, but then I'd come back and he'd be back with his boys. So I dunno...
At one point, I saw him writing something down on a piece of paper, which I could only assume, was his phone number which he was going to give to one of those girls, but I never caught him in the act. Lol, am I a total stalker or what!? I just really don't wanna miss my chance, ya know?? So he stayed till after we closed, and I was closing out credit cards. And by the time I'd finished, he was gone. ((sigh)) My hopes were dashed, yet again.

I checked my voicemail again while we were counting tips. Vette Guy called again!! That's twice in one day! Two more times than he's tried to contact me in like...the last three months! What could he possibly want?! I'm still not going to call him back.

Anyways... I'm SO clueless as to how to go about this Gavin situtation.! I don't even know if he's still remotely interested in me! There's still tonight though, so we'll see... He'll be working till close, and so will I, and most likely, drinking will ensue.
Wish me luck!!

Mitch Of The Day:
"I wish I could play little league now. I'd be way better than before."

All My Exes Live In Texas; The Guys I WANT Live Elsewhere...

Ok this is gonna be long!

First, let me talk about Friday night. After work, a bunch of people decided to go to this after hours club. It was pretty ghetto, but we had fun, and drank some more. Gavin AND The Albanian were there too. I tried to inconspicuously ask some of the girls I work with about the "single guys". Both of them told me Gavin and The Albanian were very available.
So when the club closed, at like 5, we headed over to some guys house, who I'd never met. By this point, Gavin was totally hitting on me! And I'm not gonna lie, I flirted back. So we drank a little more, and then Gavin busted out with his reefer stash. Haha, so we smoked a little. I know, I'm so bad!
Gavin was soooo baked though, it was hilarious! Then finally at like 7 we decided to call it a night, er...morning. So overall, Friday was a success!


Last night, however, was a total bust. I should have known this would happen.
Melissa and I had dinner at El Patio first, that was fun. Then we drove over to the bar where Mitchell's going away party was. By this time, I had halfway convinced myself that That Model wasn't going to be there. But they showed up a little after we did, and he was there. At first I was excited. He finally got a haircut and he looks gorgeous.
I invited him to go to the Tommy Bahama party with me tomorrow night, and he seemed excited about it and said he'd let me know tomorrow if he can go or not. Then some stupid blonde girl (why is it always a blonde!?) started talking to him, and flirting with him. Literally throwing herself at him... They used to date in like 9th grade or something. ((sigh)) I literally could not stand the sight of it. So I left to go walk around. Vette Guy AND Eric The Skeaze both made appearances last night. It was weird. I actually talked to Eric The Skeaze for a while; Vette Guy and I exchanged pleasantries. He was there with some other blonde. She was sweet, but uh...not so cute. It felt really good to blow him off and go back to the party.
But yea, back to the party...The Model was still with that girl. He hardly said 2 words to me. I saw her kiss him once. It was one of those, grab his face suddenly and plant one on him type of kisses. And he actually had the gall to look at me and say, "I just got a kiss! Did you see that!?"
After that, I left. Mitchell had been talking about getting a hotel room and continuing the party, but I kept getting mental images of The Model and The Blonde in a hotel room, and it was making me sick. I cried the whole way home, and then some more when I got there. It was horrible. And today I feel like shit. Not physically, just...worn down.
I can't get over him.
No matter how hard I try...over the years it's always been him for me. I compare every guy I ever date to him! I guess I've always hoped that one day, when he decides he's tired of modeling, he'll want to find a girl and be in a relationship. And I hoped I'd still be in the picture at that point. But right now, I just feel like it's probably better for me if I never talk to him again. Because he hurts me so bad and he doesn't even know it. I can't tell him how I feel, because it would be fruitless and disturb the balance. It's like teetering on the edge of a really high cliff with jagged rocks below me. ((sigh))
What do I DO????

Mitch Of The Day:
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. "

Anticlimax

Well, there's really not much to write about as far as this weekend goes. We didn't even hang out after work last night! Everybody kinda just...went home. But I ended up having to work today, so I'm kind of glad I got my sleep.
Work today TOTALLY sucked! Some stupid drunken idiot knocked over a table, some chairs, some drinks and his friend (who happened to be wearing a short skirt and everyone saw her panties)!! Haha. I guess it's kind of funny in retrospect but not when you're having to babysit and bartend at the same time. And hello!? It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon! On Sunday! What is wrong with people...
I did see The Albanian after work on Saturday night though. We didn't talk much cuz we were counting money. But I did notice that he got a nice tan from being in Mexico. And here's what's weird, I had a dream about him last night! I dreamt that we were walking through some city together with some mutual friends, probably work people, and he dragged me inside some place because he said he had to tell me something. And in the dream, I was sure he just wanted to kiss me! So I must have looked at him like...like I dunno, like I thought he was about to kiss me, but really he did just want to tell me something! Haha. But then, when he saw that I wanted to kiss him, he kissed me anyways, and it was like...omg. The most amazingly charged kiss! Not just , or sparks. It was like, even when the kiss is over, you just sit there, with your eyes still closed trying to regain your composure. THAT'S what it was.
Freakin. Amazing.
And it was just a dream!! Soooo I'm thinkin maybe I should give The Albanian a shot. It's just I had kind of already decided he's too much like my ex-fiance...really laid back, not super masculine, but really sweet. Ya know? And it's always nice to have a guy that treats you right, but in the case of my ex, he just let me walk all over him. And THAT is a turn-off. So we'll see I guess...I'm not working with him again till Thursday. Poo...
In other news, Vette Guy is now my friend on facebook. Lol. I'd sent him the request ages ago and forgotten about it, and apparently he rarely checks it. But he accepted me, and I looked at his pictures, and he definitely needs a teeth whitening. Haha. I know that sounds really mean, but hey! He blew me off, and it makes me feel better!
...and he calls himself a model...

As far as the comments go, YES, I am a real person! Come on, if this was fake, I think I could come up with some better story lines...
And no, I don't really want to go into detail about what I do in the shower.
As for everyone else, thanks for the compliments! I'm glad you all are enjoying the blog! I sure am having fun writing it! And it's nice to know I'm not just blogging to myself ya know? There are actually people out there who have in interest in what I have to say. So that's cool...

I've decided to add something to my blog also! The Mitch Quote Of The Day! I dunno how many of you are Mitch Hedberg fans, but I just can't get enough of his randomness! So here it is:

"I know a lot about cars. I can look at a cars headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."

Hopefully I'll have some more tantalizing stuff to write about next time!

Oh and P.S. I finished HP7 in less than 12 hours!!! LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED IT!!

Wee Hours

I had to close the bar last night. Most would say that sucks, but actually, Saturday closing shifts are my favorites!
We do inventory and major cleaning every Saturday night when we close, which means extra money and major drinking! Haha. Didn't finish counting tips till about 4:30am... Then we all headed over to Gill's apartment and played poker.
I had so much fun, just hanging out, passing around a bottle of Jack like its communion wine, and goofing off. I really love my coworkers, and it's always great to make new friends! And of course, there's always the super hot door guy, Gavin...
I know I sound totally boy crazy, but that's only because I'm totally boy crazy! Actually, I'm just desperate to find some kind of distraction! From Vette Guy, from The Model... I've realized that I've been selling myself short. Especially with The Model. I've been crazy about him since high school, but I know that I can't have him because he lives in NY, and even if he did live here, I still don't know that he'd want me. ((sigh)) So I've settled for these casual encounters, thinking I can handle them and not get wrapped up in it, but I SOOOO can't deal with this! I am a serial monogamist by nature. It's really hard for me to have true feelings for more than one guy at a time. Interests come and go with the wind but I'll never get over The Model. I'd hoped that once we hooked up, I'd be over it. And I've never been more wrong. ((sigh))
So I'm pretty much damned if I do, damned if I don't. I just wish I knew how to read guys' minds!! If just ONE GUY would tell me honestly how he feels about me, right off the bat, it would spare me so much time, effort, disappointment and grief. But that's what all girls wish for, isn't it?

(Not So) Freaky Friday

Well, yesterday was definitely...interesting.
I got off work around 9. The Model and his crew showed up for drinks, and that was cool, but it was as if last night had never happened. I know I'm not supposed to expect anything, but when Mitchell and Melissa are hanging all over each other by their second date, I can't help but get a little jealous. ((sigh))
It's so hard to not get your feelings invested when there's history (and sex) involved.

In other news, I finally heard back from Vette Guy. Which, I might add, couldn't have come at a more opportune time!

His message:

"Hey you. Thanks for the call, I just got your message today. I’m doing ok, just… well you know.

Anyways, I’m keeping it pretty low key for a while, me and Maddi (<-- his dog) are going to be even better friends! Lol. Let me know if you ever want to sit around and do little to nothing, cause I’m your guy!!! Hope everything is going stellar for you…"

I wrote him back a short, sweet, flirty message, telling him anytime he wants some company, to give me a shout. Although with his phone not working, I really don't know how he's gonna do that. So...once again, we'll see. And I'll probably be waiting expectantly for his next message, as usual.

You know, they shouldn't call it The Dating Game, they should call it The WAITING Game. Cause that's all it ever is really. And I'm starting to lose my patience!!

The Waiting Game...

Ok, so apparently I've been completely misjudging Vette Guy's actions.
Or have I?

I got this email yesterday:

"Hey. So on Saturday I got in a wreck on 59 coming home @ 6pm or so. The vette is totaled and I was arrested for DWI – I blew a .10 (legal is .08), I literally had 4 beers over the afternoon. Just wanted to let you know that I’m totally not ignoring you or anything, but my phone is toast as well and I don’t have any numbers or anyway to get in contact with anyone. I feel like such a piece of shit, just sooo broken. I think this is the first time in my life that I don’t know what to do, how to do it or where to start. Anyways, you can call and leave a vm, I’ll call back as soon as I get it, or email me. I’m soo sorry…"

(P.S. Saturday is the day after I last saw him!)

I honestly have NO idea what to make of this! I mean, I suppose I believe him, but I wrote him back, told him I was glad he's ok and not to worry; everything will work out. And I got up this morning expecting a response, because I know he checks his email when he gets to work, but nothing. No email.

So here I am, waiting, again. ((sigh))
Why do I have so much trouble reading this guy?? I can't tell if he's genuinely interested, or if he's just playing me. And it's driving me nuts. GRRRR!!

Also, me being the online stalker that I am, found his blog page on myspace. He told me before he didn't have a myspace page, and technically he doesn't, because all it is is blogs, but still...
Anyway, I read a few of them. The last one was posted in 2006 though so I can't really set much stock by them. But he definitely had a girlfriend in his last post! I guess I just really wanna figure him out, ya know?? Why does he have to be so mysterious all the time?! Why can't he just TELL me what what he wants??

Why are men always so evasive and ambiguous??

First Blog Ever!

So I'm starting this blog in secret kinda...that is, I'm not telling anyone I know about it. I just like to vent and need to do it anonymously sometimes.
((sigh))

A little bit about me...well my name is Peyton, I recently graduated from college and I'm a bartender in a big city. I'm also single, and pretty much hopeless when it comes to dating.
What is it with guys anyway??
G's...they kill me.
The last guy I met seemed perfect...too perfect. Maybe it's because of his amazing job, the fact that he models on the side, or because he drives a brand new Corvette??
I dunno...but for the sake of his privacy, I'll call him Vette Guy. We met, we liked, we hung out. But no dates. I was actually kind of on a dating hiatus at the time...but he was just too hott to pass up! I guess I shouldn't have been so quick to settle for last minute hang outs with him. At least I didn't sleep with him. Two weeks go by and I get the "we want different things" text message.
Wtf??
((sigh)) So I got upset, got mad, got drunk, got over it.
And that was that.
NOT.
Just when I was starting to forget about him, he sends me this email telling me he's taking me to a wine tasting and picking me up at 6.
I tried to make him sweat it a little, and said I had to check my schedule, but I guess I'm just a sucker.
I don't regret going though! It was an amazing date! We ended up buying and drinking a bottle of wine at the tasting, then he made reservations at a super nice, high rise restaurant, where we went through 2 bottles of champagne! It was awesome...
However, the happy drunk that I was couldn't resist those deep blue eyes, or those rock hard abs, and lets just say I ended up spending the night.
I haven't heard from him since either.
So apparently he wants to play The Game. Which is fine... I've never been very good at The Game; I always get attached too quickly. But I'm determined now!! It's been 3 days and I have made NO attempts to contact him.
Hey, even if I never hear from him again, at least I got an amazing date, right??
And there's always that really cute Albanian guy at work...