Wee Hours

I had to close the bar last night. Most would say that sucks, but actually, Saturday closing shifts are my favorites!
We do inventory and major cleaning every Saturday night when we close, which means extra money and major drinking! Haha. Didn't finish counting tips till about 4:30am... Then we all headed over to Gill's apartment and played poker.
I had so much fun, just hanging out, passing around a bottle of Jack like its communion wine, and goofing off. I really love my coworkers, and it's always great to make new friends! And of course, there's always the super hot door guy, Gavin...
I know I sound totally boy crazy, but that's only because I'm totally boy crazy! Actually, I'm just desperate to find some kind of distraction! From Vette Guy, from The Model... I've realized that I've been selling myself short. Especially with The Model. I've been crazy about him since high school, but I know that I can't have him because he lives in NY, and even if he did live here, I still don't know that he'd want me. ((sigh)) So I've settled for these casual encounters, thinking I can handle them and not get wrapped up in it, but I SOOOO can't deal with this! I am a serial monogamist by nature. It's really hard for me to have true feelings for more than one guy at a time. Interests come and go with the wind but I'll never get over The Model. I'd hoped that once we hooked up, I'd be over it. And I've never been more wrong. ((sigh))
So I'm pretty much damned if I do, damned if I don't. I just wish I knew how to read guys' minds!! If just ONE GUY would tell me honestly how he feels about me, right off the bat, it would spare me so much time, effort, disappointment and grief. But that's what all girls wish for, isn't it?