So this morning I woke up with a lot of stuff on my mind about friends.
May totally sold out on me last night, and I'm realllly get tired of it. She promised me she wouldn't flake out on me, like she usually does, and then when it came time to leave, she didn't answer the phone, or respond to any of my messages. SO! I left without her, and I have no intentions of calling her any time soon. It's just getting really old, ya know?? I mean the whole time she was with her boyfriend, it was as if she had crawled in a hole or something, and I never saw or heard from her. Except on those rare occasions when she was bored because he was working. And now that they're broken up, and she's all heart broken, she just expects all of her friends, whom she ditched for the past 8 months, to be there for her! And I mean, I love May, and I do sympathize, breakups are hard. But really!? Friendships are not one-sided. At least, they shouldn't be. And in the past 8 months, when did she ever call to see how I was doing or what was going on in my life??
Point in case.
And then there's Emma. Emma and I were inseparable at one point. In seventh grade, I had just transferred to public school, and I didn't know anybody, and of course, I was a huge nerd. But so was she! And we became best friends. Then we went through high school, and then college, and now it's like we hardly know each other at all.
I think the true test of friendship is time.
When you're in high school, it's easy to be someone's friend. You see them every day, you know all the same people... But once you graduate, and go your separate ways, you have to actually go out of your way to be there for someone. And that's when you find out who your true friends are.
I will always be a friend to Emma, but...it just isn't the same. She calls me only when it's convenient for her, or when she needs something, and I'm just tired of it! She's been dating the same guy for like 2 years now, and I love him too, but I CANNOT hang out with them. They hang all over each other constantly, and she talks to him in baby voices...it's disgusting. And she doesn't even seem to care that it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Frankly, she doesn't seem to care what I think or feel at all these days!
Now our friend from high school, Megan, is getting married in September. And she's having a shower the first weekend in August. So of course, Emma's been calling me off the hook wanting to know if I'm going, because she no longer speaks to any of those girls! And who's fault is that?!? I've really realized that Emma and I wouldn't be friends at all if it weren't for me. ((Sigh))
So, after all this thinking I've done, I have come to the conclusion that I have 5 best friends: Sophie (my sister and bestest friend in the whole world!!), Jenna (my cousin), Alyssa, Cecilia, and Izzie. I used to work with Alyssa and Cecilia. Cecilia is married and pregnant, so obviously she can't really go out or anything, Alyssa is in Cali with her boyfriend right now, my sister lives in Florida, Izzie lives in Austin and is also married, and Jenna and I only see each other once a week probably because we have opposite schedules.
I'm really glad I've started hanging out with Melissa though. Because the way things are looking, I could use a few new friends!
So what do you do about these so-called friends?? How do you tell someone that you've been friends with for years, that you don't really consider them a friend anymore? How do you tell someone that you feel you can no longer depend on them for anything?
Basically, how do you tell someone, "You're a shitty friend"??