Blah

I'm trying to post at least once a week, if not more, but unfortunately I don't always have something to write about once a week. I just finished editing all the photos from my cousin's photoshoot last week, and I'm sooooo happy with them! As is she, which I guess should be more important. Lol. Actually, I was working on them just 2 days ago when guess who texted me? John. He wanted to know if I had recovered the photos. I didn't respond right away because I was busy, and I didn't see his message till about 20 minutes after he'd sent it. Then I stewed for about 10 minutes wondering what to say. Because I'm mad at him! He blew me off. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And that's just shitty. And I want him to know it's shitty! But, believe it or not, I have learned a thing or two from my experiences with men over the years, and I knew I had to tread carefully. I didn't want to come off bitchy, or psycho, or needy, or desperate, or sad, etc...you get the point. So I simply responded by answering his question. No more, no less. I just said, "Yep." And then he wrote back, "Good job. I'm happy it worked out." And I said, "Yea, me too." And that was that. If he had really wanted to talk to me, he would have made more of an effort, but he never responded again after that. And since I intentionally didn't write something open ended, as if I wanted to continue the conversation, I knew it would be up to him to do so. And he didn't. So I guess I have my answer as far as John is concerned. It's still kind of hard for me to let go of the idea of him though. I mean, despite this situation, I know he isn't like any other guy I've ever known. But perhaps that isn't such a good thing. I dunno... Guys just suck in general, don't they?

UGH!!

Once again, sorry for the Twitter spam, guys. I didn't think it would continue to send out those invites, but I have figured out how to stop them. Unfortunately, Twitter is down today so I haven't been able to fix it yet. I will keep checking and take care of it as soon as I can.

Aside from that, I am literally having the worst day ever! I'm in NOLA because my Aunt and Uncle hired me to take my cousins high school graduation photos. My uncle is a pilot so he even got me buddy passes to come here for free. So today, Macie and I were out walking around (and I was carrying my camera equipment, plus all her stuff) in the city all day. It was fun, but exhausting, and Macie can be kind of a pain in the ass.
First she got makeup all over her white dress right when we were about to leave. Then she forgot her shoes, and we had already left the house, and I had to turn around and drive back. Then, after driving around forever and finally finding a parking spot in the Quarter, she realized she had forgotten her jeans! I told her forget it, we weren't going back and we were wasting time, but she whined about the jeans all day.
The shoot was fun, overall, and we even managed to get onto a hotel room balcony in the French Quarter for free! Then we got home, and she insisted I take more pictures of her in the jeans, and I obliged, since she's family, even though no photographer would normally do an all day photoshoot like that just for senior pictures. But still, I was soooo excited to see all the awesome photos I took, and immediately went upstairs and plugged my SD card into my laptop. Low and behold, there was NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL ON THE CARD.
I put the card back in the camera. "Card Not Formatted" flashed at me. The photos were just gone. ALL OF THEM! And I still have no idea how!! I didn't erase or reformat anything! I just did what I always do, everything time I go to upload my photos and they just weren't there! My whole trip for nothing, my entire day of hard work! Not to mention, and I haven't told you guys this yet, but on Saturday I went straight to the airport after work for a 9am flight that I wasn't able to get on. I didn't actually get on a flight till 8pm that night and it didn't even take me to NOLA! I had to go to Houston first and then drive to NOLA with my uncle in a rental car!! It was fucking terrible!! I spent the whole day in the airport and went 2 straight days with no sleep. For nothing!!!!
Ugh. So I spent this entire evening looking into recovery software, and it seemed to be working at first; or at least, it seemed to be doing something, but after 4 hours I still had no results and I started panicking again. Luckily, my Mom's new boyfriend just happens to be a photographer. Actually, he's Pulitzer winning photographer, and a very, very nice man, because he offered to take a look at my SD card and it is now 1 in the morning. My very, very nice mother, is driving over to his place right now so he can look at it. He must really like my mom now that I think about it. I'm so so grateful that he is doing this, because that means there is still hope! But I don't know how I can possibly sleep. I haven't mentioned any of this to my Aunt and Uncle, or to Macie. I'm hoping I won't have to. I mean I'm dreading having to do that! I really hope that's not the case. Uuuuuuggghhhh!! I mean I flew all the way here, and I don't know when I would be able to make it back... Plus Macie skipped school today for this. Ok...enough about the photos. I'm just having a hard time thinking about anything else.

My one night in Houston was actually fun, aside from the fact that Taryn drove to the wrong airport to pick me up. Yep. After all that shit, and I finally get out of the airport, and we had plans to go out and get wasted, I forget to tell her which airport. Stupid, stupid me. Oh well, we still went out. And John was in town, and was on his way to meet us, but he got pulled over for not completely stopping at a stop sign, and then asked to do a field sobriety test! So he didn't make it. And he wasn't answering his phone at all, so at the time I just assumed he was blowing me off. And of course Taryn was telling me I shouldn't put up with that, and if he was really into me and knew I was in town, he would make every effort to see me. And I agreed with her. Until the next morning when he texted me about almost going to jail, and then I felt bad. So I asked him if I was going to get to see him or what? He responded that he was already on his way back to Louisiana because he was having stuff delivered to his apartment and he needed to be there. Then I said, "Oh, I didn't mean today" (my uncle was already on his way to get me from Taryn's place) and he just never responded again. I mean, when I told him I was going to be in Louisiana, which just happens to be where he lives, I thought surely we would get an opportunity to see each other. Clearly, I was wrong. He knew I was here all week and didn't even text me once. ((Sigh)) I really thought he was different. And maybe he is, but clearly his priorities don't include me. He's a workhorse, and I get it, but it wasn't work this time. He just...blew me off. There's no other explanation. And that's really hard for me to accept. But I guess I don't really have a choice.
Speaking of getting blown off, you know who else blew me off this week??
Todd.
And how is it that I manage to still be surprised by these things??
Guys are dicks.
FML.



***UPDATE***
I was able to recover all the photos!! YAYYYYY!!!!! :)

Give Up

I think I'm literally having the worst day of my life. I went to the lake with Jasper today to take pictures for my project that's due this week. The sun was out, it was a great day for shooting. I had my tripod and everything set up, and we were at the harbor, where it's flat and cement, good surface for a tripod. Well as I'm taking a picture, a huge gust of wind comes and blows my tripod camera and all into the lake. It's still there, somewhere 9 feet under the freezing cold water, never to be seen again.
Brand new $1400 camera gone. Lens gone. Tripod gone. Project gone. Memory card gone. Pictures gone.
LIFE gone.

This is the second time in 2 weeks that I've suddenly been confronted with a situation where I need to spend thousands of dollars. Last week it was the dentist, now this. I can't stop balling, I'm just so devastated. NOw I don't have a camera, and I can't finish my project for school. I mean, photography is the main reason I came up here to this fucking concrete jungle and now I don't even have a camera! I JUST bought that camera! What am I going to do/??? I just wanna die right now. I can never seem to get anything fucking right. EVerything is a mistake. I just keep FUCKING EVERYTHING UP!!? I just wanna quit school and move back to Houston and be done with it. I've failed. And I have NO ONE here. NO ONE. I've called my mom like 12 times and even she doesn't answer. I've drifted apart from all the good friends I had in Houston, and I don't really have any good friends here. At least none that I can call when I'm crying hysterically. I don't have a boyfriend, or someone to hold me when I'm sad or just need a shoulder to cry on. There's just Sophie. And I hardly ever see her. I just wanna give up.
I wanna give up on everything.

Getting Fed Up

Today I had to do a photoshoot up at work, for a promotion they're doing for private football parties. Cameryn had posted a bulletin in the back telling anyone who was interested to show up at 4 in their favorite team's jersey.
So as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, the first thing I saw was Brandon's car.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! I thought, What is he doing here???
((Sigh))
So I went inside and started setting up my equipment, and I immediately texted Cameryn.
"I don't mean to be annoying, but could you please send Brandon home, cuz I just can't stand the sight of him right now"
About 10 minutes later, Cameryn came out of the office.
"What happened??" She asked.
"Oh, you didn't hear?"
"....No..." She said.
"Well, Brandon broke up with my on Friday because he said he's not physically attracted to me...he's coming. I'll tell you about it later."
"I'm sorry!" She mouthed silently.
The next 2 and a half hours were absolutely miserable. I mean...I can't stand to look at him, let alone take pictures of him! Ugh...
He even had the gall to come up to me and say, "What's up Peyton?"
I did not respond, look at him, or acknowledge him at all, whatsoever.

After the shoot, Cameryn asked me what the story was her. I told her everything as I packed up my things.
She asked if I'd talked to any of our mutual friends, and if anyone had any insight.
"No, I mean it's not like this is the first time he's done this. It's always about him."
"If it had been me, I probably would have laughed in his face." Cameryn said.
"Yea, well...I wish I could have done that."
"Well...he cant just not be attracted to you, or he wouldn't have wasted his time with you in the first place." She said.
"That's what I thought, but apparently he's a really good faker."
I finished packing up my things and left immediately afterwards.
I still can't believe he had the audacity to show up to my shoot. Knowing I was gonna be taking those pictures! Is he trying to torture me?!? I mean wtf?!
((Sigh))
Melissa's birthday is Labor Day Weekend. I'm taking a much needed trip to Austin.

Learning To Cope

So as you all know, my day started out horribly. I came home, laid in bed and cried for the better part of the day. I mean I just couldn't stop. It was like the levee had finally broken, and I just couldn't stop the flood. ((sigh))
But in a way, it was a relief to finally get it out of my system. I talked to Jenna about it on the phone, and she made me feel a little better... Something I forgot to mention earlier; the girl he cheated on me with
1) is UGLY, and
2) HAS MY FUCKING NAME!!!!
WTF?!? NOT that many people have the name Peyton, but of course, she has to have it. Ugh. I hate her. And I hate him even more.

Anyways, I eventually cried myself to sleep. But I had to get up all too soon because I had a photoshoot scheduled at 5.
I almost canceled it, because my eyes were practically swollen shut, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop sobbing long enough to be seen in public, but I thought to myself, No. I have to go about my life, and move on eventually. And photography is what I love, and I'm gonna do it because it makes me happy.
And I did! And the shoot went great! My model was a girl who came into the bar a couple weeks ago, and she has this beautifully unique, exotic look to her. And I just gave her my business card and asked if she'd be interested in modeling. And we had so much fun! I'm uploading the pix right now, and so far they all look great.
After the shoot, I called Cecilia. It had been a while since we'd hung out, and I was in need of some serious girl time. So I picked up some takeout, and headed straight to her house.
On my drive over to Cecilia's, Alyssa texted me...for the first time since Daniel and I broke up. She's been oddly distant lately, and I was starting to get the feeling she was avoiding me, because she didn't wanna talk about Daniel. Which, on the one hand, I can understand, but on the other hand, she's one of my best friends, and I really could use some support right about now. So she asked me what was wrong, and I said nothing, and then she said, "Are you upset about Daniel?"
Me: Of course I'm upset about Daniel! That fucker cheated on me! And we don't have to talk about it, I know you don't want to. I'm just so mad at myself, and so humiliated. But he seriously broke my heart and I don't know how I could've let that happen. Please don't say I told you so.
Alyssa: Yea, I figured. Do you know who it was with??
Me: Another chick named PEYTON!!! Please don't say anything to him about this.
Alyssa: Ohh, eww! How'd you find out?? I won't say anything.
Me: Who is she??? You know her?????
Alyssa: She works with him... If it makes you feel better, she's totally NOT cute. Yea, I met her once...it was last week, we went to the icehouse and she was there. I was annoyed after that and left. She was all cracked out.
Me: Well he's totally fucking her and definitely didn't waste any time, and it makes me sick.
Alyssa: How'd you find out??
Me: Resources... It doesn't matter. I seriously feel like puking.
Alyssa: Either way, you shouldn't let it get to you this much. I just have never seen you like this before...
Me: Well...he totally fucking had me. I mean I completely let myself fall for him. I dunno what I was thinking. He made such a fool out of me. I hate him. I dunno what I'll do if I ever run into him.

That was pretty much the end of our conversation, but it felt so good to finally tell Alyssa everything that was on my mind about Daniel. I always feel weird talking to her when it comes to him. ((sigh))
Anyways, I got to Cecilia's and we had the best time. There's nothing like a happy baby to cheer you up! Presley is getting so big, and so beautiful! And she's all smiles. I absolutely love her. I stayed over there from 7 till 12:30. We played with the baby most of the time, and then watched Family Guy till Cecilia got tired. It was really nice catching up with her. I was able to vent all I wanted about Daniel, and she just listened, and took my side, and offered advice and input, like a best friend should. I really miss her. I wish I could see her and Presley more often. I'm definitely gonna try to do that, at least once every 2 weeks.
So as miserable as my day started out, it ended well. And I'm kind of glad I know about Daniel now, because it made me realize that a part of me was still waiting for his email, hoping maybe we'd get back together. But now that I know what a lying, cheating, scumball, sleazy, sack of shit he is, I don't want anything to do with him.
I am gonna see him tomorrow, when his company comes into my work for their happy hour party.
And I still don't know how I'm going to react.
But whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna make sure I look drop dead gorgeous doin' it.

Our First Fight

Yesterday I did a photoshoot with Bethany, which went awesome by the way! And then we went and had Mexican food and margs, and we still had plans to do our usual Wednesday night gig; cocktails in midtown. Daniel and his friend, Ronny were supposed to meet up with us at 10:30. So we both got all dolled up and headed to Pandora, which is our new favorite Wednesday night spot.
Did I mention that Daniel's phone is shut off?? Yea...I mean seriously! What is it with these guys and their phone bills?! Sheesh... So anyways, Daniel told me he was gonna call me from Ronny's phone. Well, 10:30 rolls around and still haven't seen or heard from him. So I was starting to get a little annoyed. Especially since 2 of Bethany's guy friends were there, and I felt a little out of the loop with no one to talk to.
Well, finally they show up! And the first thing the 2 of them do is say hello, and walk off to the bar by themselves. But hey, no big deal, they were just getting drinks. So then they come back and join us, and I suggest we go sit down on one of the couches. So Bethany and I walk over to the couch and sit down, and I look up, and Daniel and Ronny are gone!! I was already peeved by this point, and the fact that Daniel seemed to be more into Ronny than me, was starting to piss me off. They literally disappeared for about 15 minutes, before it occurred to me that they probably went outside to smoke.
Yes, Daniel smokes. I know, I've broken up with guys for less than that, but Daniel's smoking doesn't really bother me because 1) I can never smell or taste it on him, and 2) He doesn't do it that often. In fact, I think he mostly just does it when he's with Ronny.
Well, 5 more minutes go by before they come back inside, and take a seat on the couch across from us! I was sitting smack in the middle of the couch, I mean there was plenty of room for Daniel to sit next to me, but he chose to sit across from me, next to Ronny. Weird. So I beckon for him to come over and sit by me, and we talk for about 10 minutes. And then, he gets up and disappears somewhere with Ronny again. By this time I was so pissed off, I hardly noticed when one of Bethany's friends approached and sat down.
"Hey, I'll be right back." I said to Bethany. She just nodded in acknowledgement and continued talking to her friend. I walked over the bar nearest the patio, and offered to by the bartender a shot. I mean I didn't wanna drink alone. She accepted and ended up buying the round. I stood there for a while and people watched, and just stewed in my frustration. Then someone taps me on the back. It's Daniel. And he has 2 other strange guys with him. One of them was a sleazy 5o-something year old who kept making really cheap passes at me. I tried at least 3 times to make eye contact with Daniel, just hoping he would notice that this guy was bothering me, and help me out. But not once did he look in my direction!! I must have been steaming at the ears by this time. So I grabbed my drink, and pushed right past Daniel without saying a word, and went to go find Bethany.
She was at the other bar, with her friend ordering shots. I told her what had happened, and that I was pissed, and she suggested we go back over there. But by the time we got there, he was gone again. ((sigh)) So we had a couple shots and stayed where we were.
Then finally, I get a text from Ronny's phone.

"Where are you?"
"Back bar." I responded.

Then they appeared again.

"Oh my god! You guys are still here??" I said to Daniel, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"We were just looking for you." Ronny said.
"Hm. I'm surprised you even noticed." I said.
"What's the matter?" Daniel asked.
"Nothing. But if you just wanted to spend your night with Ronny, you didn't have to bother coming to meet up with me and my friends." I said.
"What!?" He seemed genuinely surprised.
"Um...hello?!?! You've hardly said 2 words to me since you've been here! The only person you've spoken to is Ronny!"
"Wait... Are we fighting right now??" He asked.
"YES." I said.
"Well you just walked away without saying anything earlier! I didn't think you wanted to hang out with me." He countered.
"Apparently you didn't notice that nasty old man practically humping my leg."
"What!??"
"Yea! You were standing right there, and you didn't even notice! I didn't even think you noticed when I walked away!"
"Well I did." He said.
He looked down, his brow furrowed.
"I'm sorry." I could tell he meant it. "I just...I'm shy around people I don't know, and Ronny is like...a comfort zone. I didn't mean to ignore you. I really do wanna hang out with you."
All I could do was sigh. I mean what do you say in the heat of an argument when your opponent genuinely apologizes??

I drove him home that night, and we talked. About his issues, and mine, and we just...worked it all out! He promised not to ignore me when Ronny is around again, and he kept apologizing to me. Then he told me that he's so head over heels for me, I don't even realize. :)

((sigh))
Everything he said was like...the right thing to say. Almost too perfect. And I don't know if this is the cynical side of me that's questioning everything he does, or if it's instinct. But I'm starting to really like this guy...

Demetri Of The Day:
"I wonder what the word for dots looks like in braille."

Emotional Baggage

BJ did end up calling me today. Actually, it was while I was still at Starbucks! Although I was there for 3 hours editing photos from the shoot I did with Alyssa on Tuesday. Anyways! He called from his Dad's cell; he's staying with him for the rest of the weekend. We talked for a bit, caught up, etc. Apparently, he didn't have the greatest time in Florida. Lol. He got 2 tickets, and came back 2 days early. Hahaha. I told him that's what happens when you hang out with people who are underage all spring break.


Well, lucky for me, before I got lulled into a sense of security, BJ and I became myspace friends today. Probably a bad idea. I saw 2 wall posts from his most recent ex, who just happens to reside in Florida. Why did that never occur to me before today!?? Ugh. Anyways, he left her a comment first. Here is their conversation:


March 14, 4:27PM
XGF: you have my id ):


March 15, 4:35AM
BJ: Yes and I also have your hoodie. I just got back to Huntsville so I will probably ship them both out on Monday. Love You.


March 15, 11:45AM
XGF: um, how about you just bring them to me instead (; love you back.


He hasn't writeen her back...yet...UGH. So, I dunno if that was a friendly "I love you" on his part, like you know, an "I really care about you but I'm not in love with you I love you", or like an actual "I LOVE YOU". But I have no doubt how she meant it! And it's pretty much driving me insane.


And I really wanted to call him and talk to him about it but his stupid phone is still shut off!! So, I did the next best thing. I wrote him a message. Here it is.


"i would have just called you and talked to you about this on the phone, but its 2:45 in the morning, and you're at your dads without a cell phone so... i have a lot of shit i need to get off my chest and i need to say it now before i lose my thunder.
basically, i'm not saying this to be bitchy, or start shit, or whatever, but if you have unresolved shit with other girls, lingering feelings, possibilities of getting back together, or ANY of that baggage, please don't get me involved. i have literally sat here all week while you were gone, thinking about this situation with you and i, and considering the possibility that, i dunno, maybe we could work. but for that to happen i'm gonna need full disclosure from you. we have too much history, and shit under the rug for me to be doing guess work.
i know you were in florida, which is, coincidentally where your ex lives, so if something happened there, and you're having second thoughts about me, fine. just tell me. please don't lead me into a false sense of security with you. i'm NOT accusing you of anything, it's just, like i said, too much shit in the past for me to be drawing my own conclusions. i'm the type of person who always gives people the benefit of the doubt, and that's usually what fucks me in the end. i just need you to be honest with me, and don't fuck around. i seriously don't play games, and i feel like i've known you long enough to tell you, very bluntly, what's on my mind. so here it is.
and if i am way out in left field, tell me. this isn't me, fishing for compliments, or being insecure. this is me, wondering what is going on on your end. so don't feel like you have to tell me what you think i wanna hear.
i'm not gonna compete with a gorgeous girl that you happen to have serious history with. in fact, i'm not gonna compete with anyone. so please, just tell me what you want. whether or not the truth is pleasant, it will still set my mind at ease just to know what's going on with you.
that is all.
have a good night.

late."

That's what I sent him. And yes, his ex is gorgeous. ((sigh)) Oh, and I don't use capitalization in myspace messages. Heh... I hate this! Why does everything involving guys have to be so...dramatic!? I mean, I obviously like him, and I thought he liked me...but maybe I was wrong? Maybe he was just looking for another distraction.

Demetri Of The Day:
My friend Steve likes cats. People are always saying “Oh, Steve’s really a cat person”. No he’s not. If Steve were a cat person it’d be, like, “Hey, Steve never goes in the pool”.

Moving On

Ok, being a person with a human nature, I don't think there is anything wrong with defending myself. People call me defensive like it is a bad quality to have, but people are naturally defensive. If someone formed an inaccurate opinion of you, or made a wrong assumption about you, wouldn't you want to correct them? Now, I'm not going to say anything else in reference to the debates that have been going on. So please let's all move on!

Things in Florida have been nice, and relaxing. Sophie manages a local tea shop and I've been popping in there for lunch everyday, then we go to the gym, and then usually read and hang out. Brent comes over every day too of course, since his wife lives here. Haha, that's still weird to say! But it's so awesome to have a brother-in-law! They're not living together yet though because they both have leases at their respective apartments, which sucks for them I guess, but they still see plenty of each other. In fact, the 3 of us are all going out dancing tonight because Sophie doesn't have to work tomorrow, yay! Oh, and guess what!? ((GASP!!!)) I bet there will be drinking involved!!! :-0 Lol, sorry that was acatty and passive agressive comment, but I just can't bring myself to erase it. Hee.
So anyways, I finally got all the photo's from Amy's shoot touched up and sent to her. And she loves all of them! YAY! It's so nice to feel like I'm doing something right. And people say I'm really good at it, so...I dunno. It's just a good feeling. Now I have to start on the photos of Sophie and Brent's "wedding". And Melissa told me today that she's entering a Latina beauty pageant, so she wants me to take some head shots of her. That should be fun!
Tomorrow I head back to Houston, but I'm kinda glad because I do miss my girlfriends... Oh, and guess who messaged me last night?? Andrew. And he says he misses me, and wants to see me, and wishes he would have kissed me when he had the chance. Lol. So I might be seeing him tomorrow night...we'll see.
Melissa, Amanda, Charlotte, Mackenzie, Bethany's boyfriend, Tugg, and basically a huge group of friends are all heading out to the newest bar in Houston tomorrow night! We're all really excited! Well, that's all for now! Oh, and I'm going to make you guys a family tree, and update my name key, cuz there have been a lot of new people as of late! And I'm thinking about changing my Mitch Of The Days to a new comedian. Cuz I'm starting to run out of quotes, considering he's not around anymore to make new ones. :( So, maybe Demetri Martin or Dane Cook. Any suggestions?

Mitch Of The Day:
"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying "Here, you throw this away.'"

The Accident

Ok I just got home from work, and I have to write about this now because by morning, the details will be fuzzy!
Well first, let me start off by saying, the photoshoot this morning went great! I got a lot of really awesome shots, and I know we'll both be happy with them. It was fun too!
Ok, now before I can get to the real story, I have to tell you guys what happened last night. I was in a pretty good mood at work, just doing my thing and having a good time. And in pops The Model. Of course. He always has to show up and ruin my night!! Well, he and his friend ordered a round of drinks, and when they came back for round 2, I said, "Do you guys want shots?" And I gestured as if to take a shot, because I was trying to talk to them over a loud crowd, and usually body language helps. But The Model shook his head and made a face.
"Oh come on!" I teased him, "Don't be a wimp!"
The Model shook his head, "You're a lush!" he said with a huge stupid grin on his face.
"What?!" I said. It took me a second to actually understand him.
"You're a lush!" He repeated. At first, I just thought he meant because I take shots with my favorite customers, as do all the other bartenders. But then I realized what he was really implying, and it started to piss me off.
"If I'm a lush, then you're a lush!" I retorted.
But he just shook his head as if to say "no way".
"It's not like I was trying to get you to buy me a shot!" I clarified. He never got a chance to respond because I got called away. But the more I thought about what he said, the madder I got. Where does he come off saying that to me!? I mean how many times have I hooked him up with free drinks?! What the hell do I need him to buy me shit for?! I work there! If I really wanted to get fucked up on the job, it wouldn't be that hard. Oh, I was so mad!
"He's an asshole, I don't know why you even still talk to the guy." Nick said after I vented to him about what happened.
"Well...I don't know either! But I can't help myself!"
Later, The Model's friend came back and said anytime I wanted a shot, he'd take one with me.
"Well, I was offering to buy you guys a shot, not suggesting you buy me one. Why does (The Model) have to be a dick about it??"
"I dunno...because he's Princess [insert The Model's name here]!" he answered.
I laughed, "Wow, I think I might actually use that one."
Ugh. So I was pissed about that for most of the rest of the night, until he left.
Then tonight at work, everything was going along like usual, except that I was keeping my eyes peeled for The Model. But he never showed, thank God. Anyways, John came in around 1 am, totally obliviated! I mean really...he was so drunk. However, I didn't realize this right off the bat, because he puts on a pretty good front. But when I went to go talk to him, I teasingly gave him a push on the shoulder, and he fell over backwards and hit his head on a stool!!! Mr. S. had to call the paramedics because his head was bleeding everywhere! It was terrible! For about 15 minutes, I felt so horrible... I mean I thought I'd killed John! The look on his face when we helped him up and Mr. S. dragged him into the back room... It wasn't good. And I just had to go back behind the bar and keep working! But I couldn't concentrate on anything else, and I was so worried about him, and I just felt so bad! Finally we turned on the lights for last call, and I ran into the back to see how he was doing. He was sitting on an empty beer keg with a rag and a bag of ice on his head. He has kind of long hair, so I bent over and lifted up his hair.
"John...?? I'm sooooo so so so sorry! Please forgive me! I didn't mean to knock you over! Are you ok???" I asked.
He looked up at me with a sheepish, drunken grin.
"Don't worry about it..." he said.
"Well...is there anything I can do for you? Do you need some water? I'll go get you some water." I immediately ran out and got him an Ozarka.
He was standing up when I got back.
"I'm so sorry John!" I hugged him. He kinda laughed.
"It's ok...really. I'm fine." he slurred.
"Well I owe you big! I'll buy you a steak dinner! Anything you want!"
"All you have to do...is watch the Harry Potter movies with me." he said deliriously.
"What? OK! Sure! We can watch all 5 of them! I'll give you all 5 of them!"
"No, you don't have to give me them. Just me and you. Watch them." he said. He clearly had stars in his eyes.
"Ok John. No problem." I felt a little better when I walked back to the bar. If he felt well enough to flirt with me, then he would eventually be fine. I offered to drive him home, since clearly he was in no shape to drive. Gavin and I went and picked up his car and put it in the parking lot. Then he and I helped John into the car.
"Call me if you get lost. I know how to get to his house." Gavin said, "You have my number, right?"
"Yea. I'll definitely give you a call if he passes out again." I said.
So I drove John home. It was a little strange under the circumstances. I tried to keep him talking so that he wouldn't pass out. He has a habit of doing that even when he hasn't hurt his head. When we got to his driveway I asked him if he needed help into the house.
"Sure, if you want." he said.
"Um...ok I'll help you." I felt responsible for him! And the last thing I wanted was for him to get all the way home, and then trip out my car door and crack his head on the curb!
So we got out of the car, and he seemed to be fine on his own, but he put his arm around me anyway. Then he started skipping. Yea! Skipping!
"Ok John, I guess you'll be fine on your own then. Just make sure you turn on the lights when you get inside so you don't trip." I teased.
"Do you have to work tomorrow?" he asked.
"Nope!"
"Well then do you wanna hang out a while?"
I sighed. "Not tonight. I can't cuz my parents are out of town, and I gotta feed all the animals and stuff."
"Ok, well goodnight Peyton."
"Goodnight John."
I wasn't lying about the parents being gone thing. They left for Florida yesterday. But as I drove off I started second guessing myself. Maybe I should have stayed? I dunno... I mean, I do like John, and he's a nice, smart guy (who tends to drink a little too much every once in a while, but who doesn't?) and he has a lot going for him. He's a good guy. But...he's not the guy for me. And I'm tired of wasting my time. And why should I waste his? Maybe I'm thinking too long term but, hey. What would be the point? I already know it wouldn't work out. Plus, I still get butterflies when I talk to Gavin. Especially today in the car. He gives really good hugs. ((blush))

Well...that's my story!
And I still have to watch 5 movies with John.

Mitch Of The Day:
"I don't like grouper fish. Well, they're okay. They hang around star fish. Because they're grouper fish."

Grand Opening!

YAY for Christmas!!
Sophie got here on Christmas Eve, which I had to work, so that kinda sucked... The other thing that I'd been feeling apprehensive about lately was The Model. I knew he was going to be in town, and Melissa said Mitchell had texted her and said they'd be going up to my work at some point.
But Christmas Day was nice! And I finally got my own CAMERA! Like a really nice Sony SLR. I'm so excited! ANNNNND, Jenna's sister, Amy, saw the pics I took of Jenna in our photoshoot, and now Amy wants me to do a boudoir shoot of her as a wedding present to her fiance! So that's gonna be exciting! I may actually be able to get this business off the ground!
So in other news, I took Sophie out to midtown Christmas night for her late 21st birthday celebration. She just turned 21 on the 22nd. Melissa and the gang met up, and we had an awesome time! We just hung out at my bar mostly because they were the only place that was open. But I managed to get Sophie drunk, so it was a success!
Unfortunately, Sophie was only here for 3 days, and she left yesterday afternoon, so that was kind of a bummer. We spend the day after Christmas at Todd's family's house. They're English and we always have a traditional Boxing Day celebration at their house. Everyone rewraps a goofy present and brings it to exchange. It's really fun. And I haven't really gotten to hang out with Todd much cuz he's been gone at school. He's on the football team and he's definitely going to be drafted into the NFL! He's set all kinds of records this year. I'm so proud of him! So while we were there, I invited Todd to come out with me to the grand opening of my works new bar. They've been working on this new shot bar for months, and The Albanian is the general manager. So of course, everyone from work was gonna be at the grand opening! So Todd said he would come!
So a few hours later, I was in my favorite white tube top, which I tied a festive red ribbon around the waste, and we were ready! Todd picked me up in his brand new red BMW. SOOO nice...
And the shot bar is freakin' awesome! It's like a new home away from home! Same people, same owners, just a different location! I love it! And I don't think I spent a penny all night! My cousin Paul, and Melissa met us up too that night. Paul was acting very strangely though...he kinda had me worried cuz of his recent stint in rehab for concaine. But anyways, I got soooooo hammered!
And I have to add that Mr. P. is like one of the sexiest men EVER! But the thing that really sticks out in my mind about that night, is how well Todd took care of me. I ended up getting so drunk, I puked in the bathroom, and confessed my undying love for Todd to Alyssa. At least I can trust her!
But...I mean, it's kind of true. Todd has always been one of my best friends, and he's such a great guy. I love him to death! AND he meets all of my standards: tall, attractive, smart, kind, he has everything going for him...
Except that he's not single. ((sigh)) What is it with me always wanting the guys I can't have?? Do I just like to torchure myself or something? ((sigh))
I've been harboring these feelings for Todd for quite some time now, but I've just been in denial about it because...well number one, he has a girlfriend who I really like! And obviously he loves her. And number 2, if they break up, I dunno what to do! I mean, I don't know how to be anything other than his friend! And it's not like I can be my usual forward self with him. I mean, like the way I am with guys I'm crushing on. Grrr this is so frustrating! I can hardly wrap my head around it.
Moving on...
Ok I'm not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but Sophie is getting married! Yea, married. January 8th. Because she and Brent are hippies and they're joining the Peace Corps, and in order to go together they have to be married for 6 months beforehand. So they're having an anti-ceremony in just a few days. Of course I'm gonna go! So I'll be in Florida for about a week in January. It seems so crazy, right!?

Ok, and New Years Eve? I have to work. And it's gonna suck. Although I did give invites to Jenna, Melissa, Charlotte, Mackenzie, and Amanda. I dunno, maybe it'll be fun. We'll see...

Mitch Of The Day:
"I've got a wallet, it's orange. In case I wanna buy a deer. That doesn't make any sense at all."

Charlotte's Birthday

About a week after I got back from New York, Jenna and I did a photoshoot! My first photoshoot! And it was so much fun!! Not to mention the pics came out awesome! I'm really excited because I think this will help me get my freelance photography business off the ground! Woohoo!!

In other news, Melissa is single again! I mean, it kinda sucks for her, because her stupid boyfriend dumped her for his slutty ex, but she's definitely better off! And as soon as I got back from New York, we started to hang out a lot. It was just like old times! Well, she introduced me to a few of her friends, which I began to see a lot of when we went out. First, there's Amanda. She's my age, single, a second grade teacher, really goofy and sweet. Then there's Charlotte. She has a job where she gets to travel a lot, but I'm not really sure what she does. When I met her, her and her boyfriend of 4 years had recently split. Then there's Mackenzie. She's a promo girl for Tito's vodka, so I see her at work a lot. Anyways, all three of them are great, and the 5 of us always have a blast when we hang out!
So Charlotte's birthday was a couple weeks ago, and we all decided to make a trip to Austin for the night to celebrate. I was able to get my shift picked up at the last minute, lucky me!
We all drove together in Charlotte's company car. We had so much fun talking, and singing loudly and horribly to Justin Timberlake in the car. I texted Tommy to tell him to come hang out, but he was in Houston! What are the chances...
We stayed at a really nice hotel in the heart of Austin, just a few blocks from 6th Street! It was perfect!
So we all got dressed and ready in the hotel room and then went to have dinner at Truluck's, which is a fancy steakhouse in Austin, with the best blueberry martinis! Dinner was amazing, and we all left feeling content.
The first place we headed was 6th St. We went to Josh's bar, and he gave us a couple rounds of shots, as usual, in exchange for a kiss. Although, I noticed there's not really any sparks between us anymore. It's more of a routine than anything. He told me to come back later and see him though.
We hit up the usual bars, getting tons of free drinks along the way! It was so much fun!
But later on in the night, we got split up into 2 groups. Me, Melissa and Charlotte, and Amanda and Mackenzie. For some reason, I was feeling quite sober, while Melissa and Charlotte were quite the opposite! Charlotte was talking to every person she encountered, and practically tripping over her own feet by the time we made it to 4th Street. I was also the only one who was smart enough to bring a jacket, so Melissa and Charlotte wouldn't stop whining about how cold it was. I ended up just giving them my coat to share, so I wouldn't have to listen to them complain anymore.
Well, I was started to get irritated, being the only sober person, and Melissa was starting to get mad, because she was convinced that Amanda and Mackenzie had ditched us. So things were starting to go downhill by this point. Then we went back to Josh's bar to see him, and the door guy wouldn't let us back in. This sent Melissa flying off the handle! It's pretty funny, in retrospect, but at the time, she was scary! I thought she was gonna spit on the guys shoes! So we left, and started heading towards a pizza stand, Melissa still mumbling strings of profanities about the door guy. She had also ignored probably 6 of Amanda's calls, because she was mad at her too. Lol.
When we got inside the pizza parlor, Charlotte started crying. No warnings! Just tears! She was so drunk, she could hardly walk or talk, and now she was sobbing too! So Melissa and I got the pizza and started our trek back the hotel, practically supporting Charlotte. We both kept telling her to stop crying, but she just couldn't stop!
"Why are you crying Charlotte?! It's your birthday, and you've had a great time, and you have no reason to be crying! STOP CRYING!" Melissa scolded her.
"I know," Charlotte sniffled. "I just can't help it!" she continued to sob.
We both knew it was about her ex, but there was no comforting her. She just wanted to cry!
So there I was, walking down the street with Mad and Sad. What a sight we were! And I was freezing my ass off, in a halter top with no coat. When we got back to the hotel, Mackenzie and Amanda were already there waiting. We had both room keys. Melissa said something snippish to Mackenzie about them leaving us, and got in the elevator without us. Amanda tried comforting Charlotte and Mackenzie was asking me why Melissa was mad at them. DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA! I just wanted to scream!
"Look, we've all been drinking, let's just go to bed and deal with this crap in the morning!" I said.
So that's what we did. But by the time we were all in bed, everyone had made up, and Charlotte had stopped crying, and everything was fine again. Except that it literally took me a good 30 minutes to thaw out and stop shivering! Plus I was sharing a bed with Melissa and Charlotte so I hardly slept a wink.
But I think it was worth it.
I love my girls!

Mitch Of The Day:
"I think a rotisserie is a really morbid Ferris wheel for chickens. We will take a chicken, impale it, and then rotate it. Spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water. I like dizzy chickens!"