Thursday, June 19, 2008

Learning To Cope

So as you all know, my day started out horribly. I came home, laid in bed and cried for the better part of the day. I mean I just couldn't stop. It was like the levee had finally broken, and I just couldn't stop the flood. ((sigh))
But in a way, it was a relief to finally get it out of my system. I talked to Jenna about it on the phone, and she made me feel a little better... Something I forgot to mention earlier; the girl he cheated on me with
1) is UGLY, and
WTF?!? NOT that many people have the name Peyton, but of course, she has to have it. Ugh. I hate her. And I hate him even more.

Anyways, I eventually cried myself to sleep. But I had to get up all too soon because I had a photoshoot scheduled at 5.
I almost canceled it, because my eyes were practically swollen shut, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop sobbing long enough to be seen in public, but I thought to myself, No. I have to go about my life, and move on eventually. And photography is what I love, and I'm gonna do it because it makes me happy.
And I did! And the shoot went great! My model was a girl who came into the bar a couple weeks ago, and she has this beautifully unique, exotic look to her. And I just gave her my business card and asked if she'd be interested in modeling. And we had so much fun! I'm uploading the pix right now, and so far they all look great.
After the shoot, I called Cecilia. It had been a while since we'd hung out, and I was in need of some serious girl time. So I picked up some takeout, and headed straight to her house.
On my drive over to Cecilia's, Alyssa texted me...for the first time since Daniel and I broke up. She's been oddly distant lately, and I was starting to get the feeling she was avoiding me, because she didn't wanna talk about Daniel. Which, on the one hand, I can understand, but on the other hand, she's one of my best friends, and I really could use some support right about now. So she asked me what was wrong, and I said nothing, and then she said, "Are you upset about Daniel?"
Me: Of course I'm upset about Daniel! That fucker cheated on me! And we don't have to talk about it, I know you don't want to. I'm just so mad at myself, and so humiliated. But he seriously broke my heart and I don't know how I could've let that happen. Please don't say I told you so.
Alyssa: Yea, I figured. Do you know who it was with??
Me: Another chick named PEYTON!!! Please don't say anything to him about this.
Alyssa: Ohh, eww! How'd you find out?? I won't say anything.
Me: Who is she??? You know her?????
Alyssa: She works with him... If it makes you feel better, she's totally NOT cute. Yea, I met her once...it was last week, we went to the icehouse and she was there. I was annoyed after that and left. She was all cracked out.
Me: Well he's totally fucking her and definitely didn't waste any time, and it makes me sick.
Alyssa: How'd you find out??
Me: Resources... It doesn't matter. I seriously feel like puking.
Alyssa: Either way, you shouldn't let it get to you this much. I just have never seen you like this before...
Me: Well...he totally fucking had me. I mean I completely let myself fall for him. I dunno what I was thinking. He made such a fool out of me. I hate him. I dunno what I'll do if I ever run into him.

That was pretty much the end of our conversation, but it felt so good to finally tell Alyssa everything that was on my mind about Daniel. I always feel weird talking to her when it comes to him. ((sigh))
Anyways, I got to Cecilia's and we had the best time. There's nothing like a happy baby to cheer you up! Presley is getting so big, and so beautiful! And she's all smiles. I absolutely love her. I stayed over there from 7 till 12:30. We played with the baby most of the time, and then watched Family Guy till Cecilia got tired. It was really nice catching up with her. I was able to vent all I wanted about Daniel, and she just listened, and took my side, and offered advice and input, like a best friend should. I really miss her. I wish I could see her and Presley more often. I'm definitely gonna try to do that, at least once every 2 weeks.
So as miserable as my day started out, it ended well. And I'm kind of glad I know about Daniel now, because it made me realize that a part of me was still waiting for his email, hoping maybe we'd get back together. But now that I know what a lying, cheating, scumball, sleazy, sack of shit he is, I don't want anything to do with him.
I am gonna see him tomorrow, when his company comes into my work for their happy hour party.
And I still don't know how I'm going to react.
But whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna make sure I look drop dead gorgeous doin' it.


K said...

The best revenge is looking drop dead gorgeous and COMPLETELY IGNORING HIM!!! Don't even look at him if you can help it. If he happens to order from you, do your BEST to treat him like any other customer. That will kill him. If he tries to talk to you about the breakup, just look him in the eyes and tell him "I don't want to talk about it. You're not worth my time." Or something to that effect. I have faith in you! I know you are probably freaking out about seeing him, but you have to stay strong and not let him know he broke your heart. Seriously... don't give him the satisfact, and don't give him anything to go talk about with the Evil Peyton!

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Seems like to me this whole time he liked me more then you since I knew about you all along. That's pretty pathetic the only bad thing you can come up about me is me being ugly. PLEASE! How old are we, 12? Nice one! Oh yeah, Alyssa is so lying to you. maybe she feels sorry for you since you guys are friends, but we had a fab time at the ice house the other week. We even hung out a few more times after that.

P.S. Don't worry about "trying" to look good for him tomorrow at the happy hour party. Cuz I'll be there with him and I'm sure he won't even notice you'll be there! See you then Sweetie!