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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Comfortably Numb

Today has been long.
And gruelling.
I went out last night with Bethany for Tug's birthday. I figured it would be a good idea to get out of the house and take my mind off things, and well, drink away my sorrows. Evan met us at the bar, and I must have had a decent time, because I don't remember much. Evan had to drive me home last night, because I was so tanked. He ended up just driving me to his place since I live so far. I was puking my guts out the whole way home, and I paid for it all day today. I woke up with the world's worst hangover, and nothing to do all day except think about Daniel.
I'm so lucky to have my friends. I talked to Melissa on the phone for a long time, and she always makes me feel better. And Bethany picked me up and drove me to my car this afternoon. And then of course, Evan took care of me last night when I was practically incapacitated. Ugh... I am never going to do that again. I don't even know how it happened. I wasn't even in much of a sociable mood. I just...didn't wanna think. About anything. So I drank. Wayyyyy too much. It's 2am the next night, and I still feel sick. I've been in bed reading and watching TV all day.
I still feel kind of...numb about the whole Daniel situation. I haven't even really cried about it yet. I guess I'm still waiting for it all to hit. Or maybe I'm just numb because I was kind of expecting this to happen. ((sigh))
The thing that just drives me crazy though, is that he's out with Alyssa and his ex-gf from Cali right now. The ex who he complained to me so much about. And now he's hanging out with her, conveniently enough, the day after we break up. I dunno, maybe you wouldn't really call her an ex. They went to high school together, but never talked. She contacted him via myspace, and I guess they just talked on the phone for a month, and then she flew down from Cali for a week in March. And as soon as she left, he and I got together. But he told me she was crazy, and stalkerish and all this crap. So I dunno...
Right now I'm just so whatever about everything. I don't wanna care about anything. I especially don't wanna care about him.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This sucks.. I'm sorry. I know you must feel like crap. Hang in there though, it does get better.

Kate said...

Guys are jerks... you deserve better than what Daniel is giving you. I know how much it sucks to break up with somebody because you start to miss the, but if they arent giving you what you want out a relationship, its time to move on. Although Todd isnt available, you seem like a girl that has no trouble getting a guys attention, so I would hang in there, because I'm sure it'll be worth the wait.

Anonymous said...

i think it could save you A LOT of heartbreak and drama, if you realized that when a guy really wants to be with you then he will go out of his way to try and be with you, and he will do all the pursuing and work to try to date you. this may seem old fashioned (and believe me, im not) but relationships always work out better this way. i had to learn this the hard way, but now i am a with a great guy who loves me and treats me well. we are living together and are planning a future together, and i have never had such a great relationship before him.

just relax a little, and wait for a guy who is willing to work hard to be with you. you dont need to push it so much.

thats my two cents.