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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Beneath The Surface

I don't know if I can do this. I miss Daniel. WHY do I miss him so much??? Why can't I just forget about him?! He's a jerk, and a waste of my time. And yet...I still love him.
((sigh))
Brady and I went on our first date tonight. It was nice to finally meet him in person. He's really nice and I like him and everything, but...I just can't help but think about Daniel. Everything Brady and I talked about made me think of him. It's like a virus! And it's spreading and I can't make it stop!
I dunno if I'm ready for this. Dating.
I thought it would be a good distraction. And it seemed like a good idea at the time... I thought I was doing so much better, I thought I was moving on...but it seems like all I've really done is bury him, deep inside of me. But he's still very much there, just waiting to resurface when I'm feeling most vulnerable.

5 comments:

Ashley said...

Let Daniel go. It isn't an easy thing to do, but once you've committed yourself to the idea don't let YOURSELF down. Give as much to yourself as you do others and maybe things will start going in your favor instead of theirs.

Katie said...

I know how you feel...Even though he was such a jerk to you, you keep thinking of the times that he wasn't a jerk and that's what you miss. And it's so confusing because you didn't do anything to make him change. You're going to have to wait this one out, because eventually it won't feel terrible anymore. It takes time.

K said...

Maybe it's too soon...? It might be a good idea to just immerse yourself in your hobbies (photography, etc.) and your friends. You need some "Peyton" time...

Anonymous said...

What you're feeling is normal; I believe when you truly love someone, even if the relationship ends, you never stop loving them. I was in a volatile relationship for 2 years, and it finally ended over 5 years ago. I still think about him, I still miss him, even. But I know we weren't good for each other, but it doesn't change the fact that I still care.... It'll get easier as time passes....

Anonymous said...

It's normal to hang on to those feelings, and this is all very fresh Peyton.. give yourself time. I still think about someone I broke up with 4 years ago! It doesn't mean that I really WANT that relationship back.. but there was something in that relationshp that fed a need. You will move on and move forward.. you will be ok. You just have to give yourself time.

Have you heard from him or seen him? Did he come into the bar that night?