______________________________________________________________________

Monday, June 9, 2008

Conflicted

Since Sophie and Brent here, things have been pretty hectic! They're sleeping in my bedroom, so I haven't really had access to my computer. The other odd thing I've noticed is, Daniel has been pretty much MIA all weekend! I mean, I know he has his daughter this weekend, and I'm sure she's been keeping him preoccupied, but...he hasn't even called! And I had mentioned something to him about having dinner with Sophie and Brent and that he could bring Delilah. But I never heard back from him. So I didn't call him, cuz I figured it was his turn to call.
On Saturday night, we had some family and close friends over for dinner and drinks so that everyone could finally meet Brent. Todd and his family were there, since we've known them since I was in grade school. Every time I see Todd it's like...he takes my breath away. I can't really explain it. I mean he's just too perfect to be real it seems. And he and his girlfriend recently broke up, and I can't deny the fact that he has been constantly in the back of my mind lately. But since everything with Daniel, I've been kind of preoccupied with that. And now I can't help but wonder, what if Daniel and hadn't gotten back together? Would I have had a chance with Todd? Would I even be ready to take that chance?? Because some part of me believes that if I ever started dating Todd, I'd fall madly in love with him and never want anyone else. And the whole idea of that kind of scares me. Plus, he's younger than me, and still in school, and super busy with football... ((sigh)) I dunno, maybe I'm just in denial because I'm afraid.
But, like I said, this has all just been in the back of my head. Daniel has been in the front. And I think about him nonstop. Wondering what he's doing, why he hasn't called, and should I start trying to play hard to get again? I dunno! It's driving me crazy!
So the end of Sunday rolled around... Me and the family had been in New Braunfels at Schlitterbahn all day, which was a blast! And I gave in and decided to call Daniel on my way home. He answered the phone, and said he was watching a movie with Delilah, his mom, and Whitney, so I asked him if he wanted me to let him go. He said yea, and he'd call me back.
Well 2 more hours go by and I still haven't heard from him! So I called him again. I argued with myself about calling him, because I didn't wanna seem annoying but...he's my boyfriend! I should be able to talk to my boyfriend once in 3 days, right!? Whitney answered the phone. Ugh...
"Hey, is Daniel around?" I asked.
"Yea, he's in his room with 4 girls though, I'll go get him." He joked.
"Ha. Ha." I said.
Then finally Daniel came to the phone. I tried to sound cheerful and light, so he wouldn't know anything was bothering me. I asked him about his weekend, and told him about my day at Schlitterbahn.
"Yea, you sound really tired." He said.
"Yea...I mean I've been out in the sun all day, and I worked last night, so I guess I am kinda tired." I said.
"Well you should get some rest. Do you want me to call you tomorrow?"
Was he trying to get rid of me??
"Are you working tomorrow?" I hedged.
"No, I'm off the next 2 days."
"Well how long will you have Delilah?"
"Till 4 tomorrow. Want me to call you when I wake up?" He asked again.
"Sure." I said, secretly crestfallen. I was hoping he'd at least mention something about missing me. But maybe he's just not a phone person.
"Ok, I'll talk to you tomorrow." He said.
And that was it.

As I lay there, trying to fall asleep, my thoughts drifted back to Todd, and my brain began rattling off comparisons. How Todd would never blow me off like that, and how perfect he is... But then I couldn't help but thinking how helplessly addicted I am to Daniel, and how all I want is for him to feel the same.
((sigh))

It's 4 o'clock on Monday. He still hasn't called.

2 comments:

DDgirl said...

Don't worry Peyton!!!

Men are not like us, they just don't THINK that when they say "I'll call you in two hours" it means in 2 friggin' hours!!

Have a nice week!!

Jadeny said...

If Whitney has anything to do with this, I'll fly down and help you kcik his ass! lol