Sunday, June 15, 2008

How Much Longer?

I can't listen to music anymore.
Every song makes me think of him, or reminds me of him.

I flinch every time someone says his name.

My mom and I went and looked at some apartments today, and she really wanted to stop and eat at this one particular restaurant, which happens to be right across the street from his work. I almost had a panic attack. Seriously. My heart was racing, and my breaths were coming fast and shallow.

What is wrong with me?!

I hate feeling like he's angry with me, for any reason. It's unsettling.
And I miss him so much, that it's killing me.

Why won't he just email me, like last time.
Why won't he just miss me?

I don't know how much longer I can stand this before I start to come apart.


Jadeny said...

Maybe he wanted to see you in person? That could be why he blew up when you wouldn't go get your stuff. Perhaps he was looking to talk...either way, he is behaving like a jerk! I feel for you.

*Amber* said...

This sucks. And there's no other way to put it. :(

Laura said...

Hey i just started reading your blog and I have to say..we've ALL been there!!

But no guy should ever make you feel this miserable! I was in a relationship for years and got treated like crap until I realized I deserve so much more than this bullshit he was putting me through.

Also, go buy the book "It's called a Breakup because its broken"..it actually helped me out a lot.

Anonymous said...

Why would he be angry at you? He ended the relationship. I tend to think that he is expressing anger because he can't deal with his own emotions. Clearly he is having difficulty. Try to keep yourself busy and in time it will get better... I promise. I've been there before. Time heals all.