Ketchup

Sorry it's been so long since I've written. Things have just been so hectic since the new job and everything...
The first night I worked there, I absolutely hated it. And I was sure I wouldn't come back. I didn't get to work at the same bar as Summer or Bethany, and the place was just a total...clusterfuck! But it was busy. REALLY busy. And we ended up making so much money that night that I figured I couldn't afford to quit. And I figured I should give it another chance.
So I went back the next night, and it wasn't as bad. I still didn't get to work at the same bar as my friends, but I figured I need to get to know the other bartenders anyway. It's all girls and one guy. And right now, there are only 7 of us.
Last night, being a Thursday there weren't as many bartenders working, and Bethany and I are trading off every other week. And it was actually kind of fun! I got to know Jim, our only male bartender, since we were working in the back bar together. Then Jim went home at midnight and Summer came back to work with me. So she and I had fun together. Although...sometimes, she'll say something, or do something, a facial expression, or a gesture, that makes me think of Brandon. And it's like I have to look away. They're just so much alike. ((Sigh))
After work, all us girls went and ate at IHOP and that was really fun. There's this girl, Tara, who just moved here from Boston, and guess who she's dating?! Hot Dereck!! Lol. Small world, huh?
I was so surprised when I found out cuz...well frankly, he used to be a total manwhore! But good for him, I guess he's got his shit together. And Tara's a really sweet, cool, girl. Cute, but not your cookie cutter, run of the mill, blond with big boobs. She has a great personality! So anyways, she's my favorite one out of our bartenders. And then there's Cailee. She's young, blond, tall, and pretty. And very...well, young. You know, shes all into the scene, drinks a lot at work. A total party girl. But...I think she means well. I hope she does anyways. It's hard to tell with girls like her, because they're at a point where they could go either way...
And then there's Andrea. The 6 feet tall bombshell. Huge fake boobs, brunette, and happens to be dating Justin. One of the owners. Who also happens to be Jayme's ex-boyfriend. Lol. It's weird how everything seems to tie in.
So that's everybody! I'm sure you guys will be hearing more about them in the future.

Now, let me get you guys caught up on the non-work stuff. Sunday was Jayme's birthday party. Which was at my old bar. And sure enough, Brandon was there. I was having a good time, managed to avoid him for most of the day, until the very end of the night. Which, again, sent me heading home, sad and not in the mood to socialize.
The funny thing is, Gavin texted me and asked what I was doing. When I told him I was heading home, he asked me if I wanted some company, cuz he was bored. So...he came over! And nothing happened. I mean, he and Sierra are still on and off or whatever, and I would never wanna go there. It was just...really awkward. We watched half a movie, while sitting on opposite ends of the couch. He left after about an hour. But I have to say, it was nice to have his company, if only to distract me from my thoughts of Brandon. ((Sigh))
Monday night, I went out with Cameryn and DJ to this Stoli Apple release party. There were aerialists and dancers, and free alcohol! It was awesome. And it was so awesome to hang out with some of my friends from my old job. I miss everybody so much!
Of course, I ended up getting a little too drunk, and when I got home, I *67ed Brandon a few times. ((Sigh)) I KNOW, it was stupid. REALLY stupid. I knew even as I was dialing. But I just...couldn't stop thinking about him! No one answered the first couple times, and then on like...the 4th try, someone answered. A girl.
I was in so much shock I just choked. She hung up. I looked at my phone to make sure I dialed the right number. Did I dial the right number?? I don't know! I still don't know! I immediately dialed Summer. She didn't answer. I cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, when I woke up, I had a text from Summer.
"Is everything ok?"
"Yea I just got a little too drunk last night, called your brother, and a girl answered the phone. I sorta had a mini meldown."
She was just as shocked as I was. But she said she'd try to find out who it was, if I even dialed the right number. I mean, I'm hoping I dialed the wrong number, obviously, but I know better than to hope for that. But I just can't help thinking, he hardly had time for me when we were dating, and he's so self absorbed and busy with golf, how could he possibly have had time to find a new girl already!?! ((Sigh)) Summer agreed with me on that front. But I really need to just stop obsessing.
Which is where Cory comes in! He and I went to high school together, and we had a lot of mutual friends, but never really hung out. So we're friends on Facebook, and he recently got dumped too. And we've been commiserating a lot. And the thing is...he's attractive, funny, tall, smart, sarcastic, and very genuine. And I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Especially since he told me he's coming to Houston next weekend. Yea, that's the only downside. He's going to school in San Antonio. But there's been a lot of flirting going on. Even when I was in Austin! I invited him to go to the river with us, but then we ended up not going. But he was gonna come! So he makes it a point to tell me he's coming to Houston, and I can't help but feel...good about this! I mean, usually I wouldn't let myself get my hopes up about something so uncertain, but I'd rather think about Cory and what could possibly happen, than think about Brandon and how much I miss him. I still cry myself to sleep at night. I just...miss him so much. It's like a piece of me is gone.
((Sigh)) So, I'm trying to be positive. About the Cory thing. Tonight all us girls from the new bar are going out to eat, and have margs before work. It's gonna be really fun. I'm glad I'm finally starting to get to know everybody, and sort of find my place in the world. That is, my small, cloistered little world. Well, I'm off to jump in the shower and get ready!

Let's Make A Deal

Wow. Less than an hour after I wrote my last post, I called Bethany, she called her manager/bar owner, and got me a job. They want me to start next weekend! Of course, Bethany told him that I still need to put in my 2 weeks. So then I went up to work to talk to Mr. S. Cameryn was in the office too.
I told them that I didn't want to quit, but that I had another offer, and I'm not making enough money, living paycheck to paycheck, etc. So I asked if I could just change my availability to only working during the week.
But then Mr. S. told me that now would be a really bad time for me to quit, with football season about to start, and that they gave me a really good schedule next week, blabla...
I told him I wanted to be able to pick up shifts at one of the other bars, and he said he'd bring it up in their manager's meeting tonight, but that the reason I've stayed there, is because he thinks I'm a good fit there in particular. I come in ready to work, with a good attitude, and I'm outgoing, etc...
And I told him that I could still be good at the shot bar or something, and that it's been especially hard for me here lately, having to work with Brandon. And he said he understands, and that he's been trying to separate us. I said not to worry about it, it's my bed...I have to lay in it.
But he said no, it's still a work issue. ((Sigh))
Either way, what started out as me going in to give my notice, and request off next weekend, turned into a 30 minute bargaining session, in which I gave in and decided to give it one week.
ONE WEEK.
I'm still going to meet with Bethany's manager tonight though. I'll just have to tell him that I'm not available to work for 2 weeks because the schedule has already been made. But...I'm serious about this Brandon thing. I can't do it anymore.
Greg was there working when I came out of the office. He says I shouldn't let Brandon have the satisfaction of knowing he made me quit. But you know what? I don't care. Why should I stay there just to spite him? I'm the one that's going to be better off by leaving. The only person that's hurting is me. And I just need to get out of there. Besides, it'll be fun working with Bethany and Summer again. ((Sigh))
I just don't know how I'm going to tell them.

Getting Fed Up

Today I had to do a photoshoot up at work, for a promotion they're doing for private football parties. Cameryn had posted a bulletin in the back telling anyone who was interested to show up at 4 in their favorite team's jersey.
So as soon as I pulled into the parking lot, the first thing I saw was Brandon's car.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! I thought, What is he doing here???
((Sigh))
So I went inside and started setting up my equipment, and I immediately texted Cameryn.
"I don't mean to be annoying, but could you please send Brandon home, cuz I just can't stand the sight of him right now"
About 10 minutes later, Cameryn came out of the office.
"What happened??" She asked.
"Oh, you didn't hear?"
"....No..." She said.
"Well, Brandon broke up with my on Friday because he said he's not physically attracted to me...he's coming. I'll tell you about it later."
"I'm sorry!" She mouthed silently.
The next 2 and a half hours were absolutely miserable. I mean...I can't stand to look at him, let alone take pictures of him! Ugh...
He even had the gall to come up to me and say, "What's up Peyton?"
I did not respond, look at him, or acknowledge him at all, whatsoever.

After the shoot, Cameryn asked me what the story was her. I told her everything as I packed up my things.
She asked if I'd talked to any of our mutual friends, and if anyone had any insight.
"No, I mean it's not like this is the first time he's done this. It's always about him."
"If it had been me, I probably would have laughed in his face." Cameryn said.
"Yea, well...I wish I could have done that."
"Well...he cant just not be attracted to you, or he wouldn't have wasted his time with you in the first place." She said.
"That's what I thought, but apparently he's a really good faker."
I finished packing up my things and left immediately afterwards.
I still can't believe he had the audacity to show up to my shoot. Knowing I was gonna be taking those pictures! Is he trying to torture me?!? I mean wtf?!
((Sigh))
Melissa's birthday is Labor Day Weekend. I'm taking a much needed trip to Austin.

Spontaneous Trippage

Since I've been back, I've been doing a lot of partying with my coworkers. And it's been awesome! And Tuesday it was somebody's birthday, so naturally, all of us were out. Including Brandon and I.
In the midst of all our partying, Cameryn, one of my managers, asked us if we wanted to go to Austin tomorrow. All the managers had been invited to some huge party, hosted by Dos Equis, and hotel rooms were already paid for, etc. Brandon was hesitant at first, but I talked him into it.
So Wednesday afternoon, Brandon, me and Sheila, another one of my coworkers, all headed out to Austin together. By the time we got there, it was like 7:30, and Mr. P, Cameryn, DJ, Mark, Ali, Blinn, and The Albanian were ready and waiting for us. So we jumped in the van, and we were off! The castle where the party was being held was about an hour and a half outside of Austin. So we stopped and picked up some beers on the way (don't worry, we were being chauffeured). By the time we got there, it was about 9:30, because we had to make several stops for bathroom breaks. Lol. This place was literally out in the middle of nowhere, and there were cars everywhere. And cops, and buses, and people walking around in the middle of the street... It was complete chaos!! The cops were trying to shut down the party, and weren't letting anyone else pass. All of us were pissed, but especially DJ, cuz he had friends in there or something. But we just figured, what the hell! We're in Austin, let's head back and hit downtown. So we left.
Once we got back into Austin, the van dropped us off at the bar of Mr. P.'s choosing, and we got started on the shots. I seriously don't think I spent a penny all night, between Mr. P. and Blinn buying us all rounds. Brandon, Mark and I smoked a little reefer too, so we were startin' to feel pretty good! After about an hour, we headed to 5th Street, and planted ourselves in another bar. We took more shots, danced, and just had an amazing time! It was so much fun! And I've never gotten to see Brandon dance before, so it was pretty hot.
Me and Brandon, Sheila and Mark were sharing a hotel room , so when we got back to the hotel, we all went in the bathroom and smoked some more. Lol. Mark is the biggest pothead ever. Blinn and The Albanian stopped by our room, and Blinn was wildly drunk. He took a handful of Brandon's weed and ate it!! ]
He kept saying "This tastes like sourdough!" Lol. I took pictures.
This morning, I was surprisingly not hungover, but I was exhausted, and my memory was a little fuzzy. I just kept thinking what a whirlwind adventure that was, and how much fun we had. Oh, and I kept thinking how Mark has now seen me in my underwear. ((Sigh)) Oh well.

Ok, now I wanna update you all on the new girl at work that I hate. Her name is Kate, and she just turned 20, and she constantly is throwing herself at Brandon. That's the first reason why I don't like her. The second reason, is because the first shift I worked with her was her first paid shift. And all she kept asking at the end of the night was how much money she could expect to make, and how she made $350 every Friday at her last job, and blablabla... I just wanted to smack her.
So I flat out told her, "Yea, you're not gonna make that here. You're never gonna get the shifts that make that money, because those shifts go to the people with seniority. And right now, you're at the bottom of the totem pole. So don't expect to make that."
Then she went on about how she's so used to being a big fish in a little pond, pulled out a wad of cash, and said, "See this is how much money I made at my other job last night!"
I pointedly did not look. What a stupid bitch.
If you like your other job so much, why the fuck are you working here??
Ugh... So then, Greg said something about me and Brandon, and she immediately turns to look at me and goes, "You and Brandon are together??"
"Yea." I said flatly.
"Oh... Well how long has that been going on??" She asked.
Bitch! It doesn't matter if it's been going on 2 seconds, cuz you still don't have a chance, now back the fuck off!
That was what I wanted to say.
But Greg interjected for me. "Like nine years!" He said, laughing.
I laughed it off too, but I could tell she wasn't happy about it.
Did I mention she wears crop tops, cut off shorts and dark pink old lady lipstick?? WTF??

UGH!! This girl just totally rubs me the wrong way.
And I'm not the only one. Bethany and Alyssa don't like her either, and I've heard from about 4 others that she's not their favorite person. So we'll see how long she lasts, what with everyone disliking her and all. Haha. At least she's under 21, and she won't be at the boat party this Monday. It's gonna be so much fun, I can't wait!!!

Well, I'm about to go to work now. Brandon's picking me up :), so I gotta go!

The Make Up

Friday was mostly miserable. All I could think about was Rusty, and by the time it was time to go to Todd's tailgate party, I didn't even feel like getting dressed. I just wasn't in a social mood. But I made myself go, and I brought Oliver and sat outside in the blistering heat for about an hour, before ducking out early to head back home. I kept my phone in my pocket the whole time, hoping he would call, but he didn't.
So after the party, I went back to sleep. I figured I could probably use the sleep, since I hadn't had a full night in about 5 days. Plus, at least when I was sleeping, I wasn't worrying about Rusty.
I woke up around 8:30 and started getting ready to go out. I had made up my mind. I would just go up to work, approach him, and apologize. Just explain it to him. And if he didn't wanna talk to me, well then...fine. So I put on one of my sexiest tops, and some tight fitting jeans and headed out. As I was walking up to the door of my bar, I could hear him singing from inside. He sounded great as always. I took a deep breath and went in. Cameryn and a couple of the waitresses had just gotten off work, so I went and chilled with them for a while. Cameryn mentioned something about Rusty being "Peyton's dude" in front of the other girls. I was completely shocked! First of all, because the only people at work who know are Alyssa and Bethany, and second because she's a manager and I just didn't figure she'd bother with gossip. After a little bit, they all decided to head over the shot bar, but I stayed to wait for Rusty's set to be over. Then Sharon came up to hang out. She's one of my coworker's girlfriends, and she's the one who was puppysitting for me on Thursday night.
Finally his set ended. As soon as he set his guitar down, we made eye contact. I flushed and turned back around. The next thing I knew, he was right behind me.
"Hey," he said, "You came!" He seemed genuinely happy to see me.
"Yea." I said, and couldn't help but smile.
"So...you don't hate me?" He asked hesitantly.
"What??? No! Look...I'm sorry I freaked out on you last night. I just...I was kind of drunk, and my feelings were hurt, and I overreacted a little."
"It's ok," he said, "Why didn't you call me today? I wasn't expecting you to show up after I didn't hear from you."
"Well I tried calling you last night, but you didn't answer, so I just figured you didn't wanna talk to me. And I thought if you did, then you'd call." I told him.
"Oh. Well I was waiting for you to call, cuz you were the one that was mad."
"Well, yea, I was but..."
"Look, I just can't trust my roommate alone in the apartment when there's people over. I mean I have a lot of expensive equipment in there and I don't want it to get stolen. And he was really drunk... I had to stay home. I wasn't planning on it or anything." He explained.
"It's fine. We can talk about it later if you want." I said, and then he kissed me! And it was like in that moment, my whole day went from being crappy, to being wonderful. :) I mean he was just so cool about the whole thing. No drama whatsoever. It was just...over. That's it!
So Sharon and I hung out for a while, and watched him play, then we went over to the shot bar for a while, then we went back. It was a really fun night over all. The best part being that Rusty came home with me and we cuddled all night, and all day today. :)
We went out to lunch, then I played the piano for him, and we watched Heroes in bed...
Today was complete bliss.
In fact, I just got home from work about 20 minutes ago, and he's on the phone with me right now practically begging me to come over. But I'm definitely staying home tonight.
Alyssa and Russ are having a Labor Day party tomorrow afternoon and he's coming with me. Then I have to go to work...ugh.
Anyways, I really need to direct my attention towards our phone conversation right now, because he's being very persistent about me coming over, and I think I'm losing this argument...

Party Scars

My plane landed at 10:30 am Sunday, which gave me exactly 30 minutes to get to my work, and catch the bus to the lake.
But I got there in plenty of time, changed, slathered on some tanning lotion, and bought myself an energy drink. Bethany and Tug pulled into the parking lot at the same time as me. Bethany and I smoked a bowl and then hopped on the bus.
Just as I had predicted, we didn't leave on time because we were waiting on Valerie. As usual. She is perpetually late to everything. Well we ended up leaving without her, and she just met us at the dock on the lake.
The boat was awesome! It was 2 stories high, with a slide, lots of food, and lots of liquor! I partied so hard, I can't even begin to tell you... Lol.
I brought my camera, and took tons of pictures. We anchored, and all took turns jumping and diving off the top of the boat. It was so much fun! John was there too, and surprisingly, it actually wasn't awkward between us. But that may have just been because we were both... Well we were both partying. I somehow got this huge bruise on my leg, and I have no idea how it happened, but this morning, I woke up and my entire body was hurting! I took 6 Advil (6 Advil=muscle relaxer) and I'm still in pain! But check out this bruise!

That's the outside of my thigh!

Anyways, apparently there's this new girl who just started, and she' only 19. And for some reason, she came to the party. (!?!?!?) And we'd been on the lake for oh...I dunno, an hour? And she was already puking over the side of the boat. And one of our newer bartenders had to sit and take care of her. Now everyone dislikes her. Mainly because
1) She's too young and shouldn't have come in the first place.
2) Even before she got drunk, she was just trying wayyyyyy too hard to fit in. Laughing at peoples' conversations that she wasn't even included in, trying to be funny, and cute, but just actually coming off as really desperate. Know what I mean?? And
3) She got completely wasted, and made a total fool of herself around a bunch of people she doesn't know, including her bosses!!!

I mean, we do all party together, and drink heavily at times, but we're all friends! We know each other! When I first got hired, I would have been so embarrassed to get that drunk in front of my coworkers and managers. She's only been working there 3 days! She hasn't even finished training yet! WTF!? So needless to say, everyone was really annoyed with her by the end of the day. I mean, she couldn't even be left alone!

Well, after the boat, we all went to Front Porch Pub, drank beer and ate junkfood. Lol. Of course, Mr. P. paid for everything! He ordered like 10 baskets of boneless wings and 5 buckets of Bud Light Lime. He does stuff like that when he goes into party mode. Lol.

After that, a smaller group of us went to the strip club. Lol. It was Cameryn's idea, but she had me convinced when she mentioned that they had a swimming pool! Lol. So it was me, Cameryn, Blinn, Jake the Door Guy, Valerie, Bethany, Tug, John, DJ, Mr. P., Polly (waitress/bartender), and Polly's bf. Valerie was so wasted, that nobody even wanted to be around her! She kept trying to make out with Blinn, and he kept trying to get away from her. Lol. It's pretty funny now in retrospect. So when we decided to leave, Blinn jumped at the chance to get out of there, so he could escape Valerie. Lol.

I vaguely recall John saying something to me about how I frustrated him because I told him before that he needed to be more forward, but then when he was, I wasn't into it. I tried to tell him that I just don't like the way he acts when he's drunk. Then he said that he wasn't drunk the night he asked to spend the night, but I wasn't into him then either. Then I said it was because he just sprung that on me! Anyways, our conversation didn't get past that because Cameryn was ready to leave, and I had ridden with her. But at least we both got to finally speak our thoughts on the whole situation. And at least there are no hard feelings between us now. At least, I don't think there are...

Anyways...I'm starting to feel a little better now. Perhaps those Advil are finally kicking in.

Oliver is getting here on Wednesday at 4 o'clock! I can't wait!!!

Oh, and I'm supposed to have that date tonight with JD. I'll be sure to let you guys know how it goes.

Shopping Therapy

I had such an amazing day!!

Last night at work, Bethany invited me to go shopping in Austin for the day with her and our coworker/manager, Cameryn. I was a little hesitant at first, because I've never really hung out with Cameryn outside of work. I mean, I've always liked her, but truth be told, I've always been a little intimidated by her since she's one of my managers, and since she's my only female manager. But she's also a bartender so, I actually get to work side by side with her sometimes, and she's awesome.
And we had a total blast!! Bethany picked me up around 11 this morning and we drove up to work to meet Cameryn. The drive went by quickly. We just chatted about all kinds of stuff. Then when we got to Austin, we met up with another girl, Katie, who used to work at our bar before I started working there. Now she lives in Austin with her boyfriend and works for Redken. So we had lunch, margs, and mojitos! Then Katie took us all around town to the best boutiques (most of which I had already been to). And I came home with some really great steals too! Of course now I'm exhausted from our day of running around. But I've got the whole night (er...morning...) and all day tomorrow to relax and rest up before work.

I haven't even spoken to BJ since he went back to Huntsville. He was in Spring for the Easter weekend with his dad, but now he's back to having no phone. ((sigh)) And lately I've been having these sudden, intense pangs of buyer's remorse! You know, about the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I'm just not sure I'm ready for it! And I mean...I just keep thinking, I know I'm not gonna marry this guy, he's not The One or anything like that so... So what am I doing?? Am I being selfish? Am I wasting his time? Am I wasting my time??? I mean, don't get me wrong, I like him a lot! I just...can't stop overanalyzing. ((sigh)) What is wrong with me?! Things are just so different when I'm there in Huntsville with BJ. It's like, I can just forget about everything else and enjoy myself, and enjoy his company.

I just wish I could actually talk to him. Maybe then I could stop thinking about all this crap.

Demetri Of The Day:
“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.”