So I never ended up seeing the Englishman again. Kinda disappointing, but it's probably for the best. I just started my period anyway. But what's weird is, he just accepted my facebook request TODAY. Today as in, the day he's flying back to the UK. So of course I've been stalking him.
And I forgot to mention before, the night we met, he confessed to me that he is married. That's what he said, "I'm married." So of course, I freaked out because I'd been making out with him 5 minutes prior to that, but then he went on to explain that he and his wife are separated and he's in the process of going through a divorce. In fact, he talked about it more later that night, and he seemed really upset with himself that he was going to be a 31 year old divorced guy. I checked up on this, of course, and confirmed with his friend that he is, in fact, separated from her. And then he told me that that was one of the main reasons he came to New Orleans, just to get away from it all. Apparently she wanted to have kids, and he realized that he does want kids, just not with her so...they split up. Rough.
But anyway, so I found his soon to be ex wife on facebook, and most of her photos are not private, and there's all these old wedding photos of them...it's weird. It's sooooo weird. I have never slept with a married man before, regardless of the technicality. I really hope he wasn't lying to me about that, and I didn't just participate in cheating. But then why would he have accepted my friend request? Ugh. All this is pointless. I just hate when guys act like they really like you, even after the sex, and they say all this bullshit to you about how you're so wonderful and beautiful, and they've never met anyone like you and blablabla...I'm a grown ass woman. I don't need to be coddled. Why can't you just fuck me and leave if that's all you want? What's the point of all the other crap? I'd rather they not be overly gratuitous and complimentary if they're not actually interested. Just save it.
God...this is why I told myself I wasn't gonna do the casual hookup thing anymore. Because I just CAN'T. #LessonLearned
Showing posts with label Exes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Exes. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Thursday, May 23, 2013
29
Well it's been a while. I'm sure you guys think I say that in every post. Lol. But I've been done with my semester for about a week now, and I have more spare time than I know what to do with! My birthday was this week. Another year older...((Sigh)) But that's not what I wanna talk about. I wanna talk about my past. And my exes. They both seem to be creeping up on me lately. Last weekend, Brazil came into my bar, and tried to get me to go home with him. And to be honest, I seriously thought about it, just remembering how good the sex was. I haven't seen Matt in a while. I guess I'm just...over it. For now anyway. Lol. So it's been a while for me in the sex department and there was Brazil, being all flirty and asking me if I wanted a ride on his scooter. Lol. But Warren was like, "You're not seriously going home with him are you??" And I sighed and said, "No, I'm not." When he gave me a skeptical look, I reassured him that I'm not Abbie and I don't make stupid decisions on a regular basis. Lol. And I sent Brazil home. I just can't think of him without remembering how immature and selfish he acted when we broke up last year. And how he lied and adamantly denied everything. Ugh. But he still keeps trying. He texted me that next morning and said, "So I know this is weird, and i probably shouldnt say this, but the second i saw u last light really made me wish i could kiss u. Im weird, i know. :P"
Cheeseandrice are you fucking kidding me?! Lol. My response?
"That's funny, cuz when I saw you, I thought you really wanted to kiss me. Lol."
And that was that. He didn't mention it again, although he did text me on my birthday and told me he would take me riding whenever I want. Haha. Scooter riding just isn't the same as motorcycle riding though.
Ahhhh it's been so long since I've been on the back of a motorcycle. Not since Daniel. Remember Daniel? Check that link if you don't, because here's where he enters the story. A couple weeks ago he sent me a facebook friend request out of the blue. I thought it was strange, but I didn't really think that much of it. I get blasts from my pasts requesting me out of nowhere all the time. It just...happens. But I took my time accepting him, as not to seem all eager. Haha. But once I did, I sorta just forgot about him again.
But then yesterday morning, he instant messaged me! Just to wish me a happy birthday initially, but then he started asking how I was doing, and why I'm in Chicago, etc etc, and we ended up chatting and catching up for quite a while. My first thought was that he must have just broken up with a girl or something. Because I remember him as the type to jump from one girl to the next, always having something going on in between because he can't stand the idea of actually being single. But then who knows? I thought. It's been 5 years. Yes, FIVE YEARS. I still can't really comprehend that. But anyway, maybe he's grown up a little (ha!) or changed or something in that time. I definitely can't assume to know him anymore.
So anyway, we chatted for a bit, and then I got up and went about my day. And he sent me a message here and there, but I was busy doing shit so we weren't really talking that much. But then when I got home later that night, he messaged me again. I'll paste.
D: Hope you had great birthday. Be safe have fun.
Me: i'm already in bed lol
this is how i know i am old now
D: And thanks for chatting with me today it was really nice hearing from you
Me: lol you don't have to thank me
but you're welcome anyway
D: How old are you now actually ?
Me: 29
so old
lol
D: Ah still so young
Perfect age
Me: this is my last official year of youth
D: Still look like the same pretty girl I met years ago
Then we chitchatted some more and then came this:
D: I had a dream about you awhile back
Me: seriously??
what happened?
D: That's why I hunted you down on Facebook totally random I added you don't you think?
Me: yes, it was quite random
are you going to tell me about this dream, or what?
lol
my ears are burning
D: No it's kinda embarrassing
Me: what?!
you can't just say something like that and then not tell me!
was it a sexy dream?
lol
D: Actually that brings up something else but no no no
Can't say right now
Me: if it wasn't a sexy dream, then what's so embarassing about it1?
embarrassing for me, or embarrassing for you??
D: The dream was just really intense and I was looking for or trying to get to you but it sounds cheesy if explain it
Me: dreams are always intense
the ones you remember anyway
D: Ahhhh yea your right
Me: ok tell me
D: Lol ok fine
I had a really crazy dream about my ex too recently. we have been off and on for so long and this dream was so profound that It really said something to me and I had to finally cut it off. totally sucks but I guess that's life
So anyway
Me: in my experience, if you're constantly on and off with someone, that means you can't make it work. but hell what do i know?
tell me your dream!
D: Seriously about 1 and half 2 years ago I had this dream that I found this amazing girl (like the person youre head over heals for ) and when I found her this general or high ranking military guy got in the way and basically said I had to be a part of this boot camp or military thing to be with this girl ( dreams are vague but that was implied) so I went through all this crazy shit like being stationed in different places, all this crazy boot camp stuff and conflicts with people... and throughout this experience I kept seeing this girl that I wanted to be with and she wanted to be with me, but something kept coming up and this Sergeant was like her dad, it was weird so finally I was in this other place and I finally got to where I needed to be and I found her again but then I woke up, I don't know if I actually got to be with her even though I went through all this crazy shit
But anyway when I woke up I had an image of who she was and her features and the way she ways looked and everything and the first thing I thought of was you
She resembled you so much
Me: hahahaha weird
D: I know
It was weird it was like it was you but dreams can be vague ya know
Me: that isn't embarrassing though
but yea dreams are weird
you know why??
its like when you have amnesia
and your brain can't catalog things correctly because it doesn't know what's a memory or what you just like...saw on tv or something
so everything is just jumbled up
D: Yeah
Me: but you know what ELSE?
D: ?
Me: every single face you see in your dreams is a person you've seen before
your mind never makes them up
so maybe that's why i played the role of the girl of your dreams
lol
D: That's true
Lol
Thee girl
Me: Lol
D: I did feel very intimate and close to you
Me: in the dream
?
D: No!
When we dated
Me: oh
D: Silly
I know it was very short
Me: you were an early-intense-relationship kinda guy
lol
i remember that
D: What do you mean ?
Me: but....it seems like another life to me almost. in some ways like a dream. being in houston.
a lot of my memories of the things i thought and felt then have changed or warped
its hard to explain
i guess i've just changed
i don't mean with you specifically
D: Yeah I totally know what you mean I'm very different
Me: i just went through a lot of shit right before i moved here
its like my life has a before and after period now
haha
but anyway...
D: Well I'm sorry that your past is creeping up on you but I sorta still have feelings for you... never really stopped. not saying that means anything now but I did and still do, or I guess want you to know that youre really awesome and i did think you were sexy as fuck!
Just take it as a compliment
Me: ummmm WHAT?!
lol
sorry
this is just really out of left field
D: Whatever
Me: how long ago did you get out of a relationship??
i'm not...trying to be mean, but this is seriously the last thing i was expecting.
what do you mean you never stopped having feelings for me? that cannot be possible.
D: I haven't been in relationship in a long time I do those anymore lol
Me: pardon my loose use of the word "Relationship"
D: Ugh
Me: i just use it to refer to anything...dating, casual sex, whatever
lol
i was just referring to what you said earlier
that you recently broke things off with someone
D: We are talking about like 3 things at once now
Me: hahaha
are we?
D: Haha
Me: well you're the one who opened pandoras box, so you can't expect me to NOT have a million and one questions for you
D: Who me?
We'll stop being so fucking cute then
Me: oh god
D: And you should have ignored my friend request
Jk
Me: i thought about it
lol
D: I know you did
Me: but then i thought, whats the harm?
lol
and i figured you must have had a reason for requesting me out of nowhere, so curiosity got the better of me
D: Oh we'll there you go
Me: do you even know how long it's been since you and i saw each other?? like in person?
D: 5 years
Me: fuck has it really been that long?
D: We'll I'm sure we can figure it out
Me: how long since we dated?
D: Was it 09?
O8?
I don't remember
Me: it was 08
D: I mean how long did we date it was like month then like a week or two after
So like 2 months
Me: we dated from like april to june
D: Ahhhh you remember all this
Me: well it fell during our birthdays
i remember that* (*Actually I just looked it up on the blog! lol)
so you're saying you've had feelings for me still ALLLLL this time??
i'm sorry but i'm gonna have to call bullshit on that one
lol
D: ok fine
That's not what I said exactly
Me: one of the other things i remember is that you were the one who ended things. although i can't remember why...lol
prettttttttttty sure it was another chick though
pretty sure
actually
D: Uh no
Me: its all coming back to me now
and i'm pretty sure her name was ALSO PEYTON!
the audacity of you...lol
you may present the defense
hahaha
D: No I started to see another girl named Peyton (just random) after you yes that lasted 2 weeks. She was complete trash. But that is not why I stopped taking to you. That's a fact
Me: lol
if you say so
well do you know why you stopped talking to me? because i don't.
i'm not even sure i knew then
D: I stopped talking to you because I was young and dumb
I liked you and was scared of commitment. i listened to Whitney too much
I wasn't a man I barely took care of myself, I wanted to be free and single
I was a total coward
Just simply immature
And I'm sorry
Peoples emotions are not to be messed with and I took a lot for granted
Me: i'm not asking for apologies
just reminiscing
i mean i appreciate you saying all that, i do
i forgot about whitney...he was such a thorn in my side!!
lolhe had no life of his own!! always meddling in other ppls shit...
fuckin whitney
you still talk to him??
D: You know what he is exactly the same! And no
Me: LMAO
hahahahahhahahaha
D: I totally shut him out
Me: that's good!
ppl like him never change
lol
funny though
he had a total lezzie crush on you
D: Oh god you're not the only one to tell me that
He's just hater that's all
Lol
Anyways
Me: ok...so you didn't have feelings for me all along, but you do now?
is that what you're saying?
because i don't know how that is possible either lol.
D: What
That's a trick question
Me: ok then just explain this to me:
"Well I'm sorry that your past is creeping up on you but I sorta still have feelings for you... never really stopped. not saying that means anything now but I did and still do, or I guess want you to know that youre really awesome and i did think you were sexy as fuck!"
those are your words
lol
p.s. i know i'm awesome
D: Yeah you are
Me: but thank you for acknowledging
D: lol
Me: why are you telling me this now Daniel? I am realllllllllly curious. lol.
is it just bc of that dream?
D: I can't explain why I just have been thinking about you and yes I had that dream but I sorta thought I was crazy for having it but then I thought about it again recently and I wanted to see how you where doing . I remember a lot of specific things about you that I really admired and thought you where a total foxAnd yah I really don't know what it ended I just remember being young and dumb
Me: smh...lol
you're a shameless flirt, you know that??
D: What!!
Me: hahaha
don't act so shocked
D: I only flirt with girls with beautiful smiles and strong morals
Me: BAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
you are SOOOOOOOO full of it!!
well anyway
did you know i'm gonna be in houston next week?
D: Really!?
Me: yea, my friends are flying me in to take their engagement photos
i'll be there for a week
D: I didn't even know you were in ChicagoBut since youre coming here I might try to steal a couple kisses if I get the chance
Me: baha!
lol
you're so
lol
D: Lol
What
Me: i'm going to bed now
but you have my number still?
D: Don't be mad
Me: [my number]
loser
D: Too cute
Good night
Me: shutup
call me or something before next week
that way you won't be all weird when i see you
lol
Sorry that was so long, but it was just too much to paraphrase, and I think the language is important. I want your opinions people! I'm going to Houston next Wednesday to shoot Taryn's engagement photos. So I'll most likely see Daniel, and maybe even go for a motorcycle ride ;)
But what do you guys think? Is he full of shit? Or does it even matter since I'll probably only see him a couple times and then not for a really long time, if ever, once I move back. He's just so...
I know how this goes, ya know? He acts super interested and I get used to talking to him or whatever, just like with BJ and then suddenly BAM! He's gone. But I guess it's irrelevant anyway. What are the chances of this actually working out? Who says I even want it to work out??
All I know is, right now I feel like I have something more to look forward to on my trip to Houston. Even if it is just a stolen kiss.
Cheeseandrice are you fucking kidding me?! Lol. My response?
"That's funny, cuz when I saw you, I thought you really wanted to kiss me. Lol."
And that was that. He didn't mention it again, although he did text me on my birthday and told me he would take me riding whenever I want. Haha. Scooter riding just isn't the same as motorcycle riding though.
Ahhhh it's been so long since I've been on the back of a motorcycle. Not since Daniel. Remember Daniel? Check that link if you don't, because here's where he enters the story. A couple weeks ago he sent me a facebook friend request out of the blue. I thought it was strange, but I didn't really think that much of it. I get blasts from my pasts requesting me out of nowhere all the time. It just...happens. But I took my time accepting him, as not to seem all eager. Haha. But once I did, I sorta just forgot about him again.
But then yesterday morning, he instant messaged me! Just to wish me a happy birthday initially, but then he started asking how I was doing, and why I'm in Chicago, etc etc, and we ended up chatting and catching up for quite a while. My first thought was that he must have just broken up with a girl or something. Because I remember him as the type to jump from one girl to the next, always having something going on in between because he can't stand the idea of actually being single. But then who knows? I thought. It's been 5 years. Yes, FIVE YEARS. I still can't really comprehend that. But anyway, maybe he's grown up a little (ha!) or changed or something in that time. I definitely can't assume to know him anymore.
So anyway, we chatted for a bit, and then I got up and went about my day. And he sent me a message here and there, but I was busy doing shit so we weren't really talking that much. But then when I got home later that night, he messaged me again. I'll paste.
D: Hope you had great birthday. Be safe have fun.
Me: i'm already in bed lol
this is how i know i am old now
D: And thanks for chatting with me today it was really nice hearing from you
Me: lol you don't have to thank me
but you're welcome anyway
D: How old are you now actually ?
Me: 29
so old
lol
D: Ah still so young
Perfect age
Me: this is my last official year of youth
D: Still look like the same pretty girl I met years ago
Then we chitchatted some more and then came this:
D: I had a dream about you awhile back
Me: seriously??
what happened?
D: That's why I hunted you down on Facebook totally random I added you don't you think?
Me: yes, it was quite random
are you going to tell me about this dream, or what?
lol
my ears are burning
D: No it's kinda embarrassing
Me: what?!
you can't just say something like that and then not tell me!
was it a sexy dream?
lol
D: Actually that brings up something else but no no no
Can't say right now
Me: if it wasn't a sexy dream, then what's so embarassing about it1?
embarrassing for me, or embarrassing for you??
D: The dream was just really intense and I was looking for or trying to get to you but it sounds cheesy if explain it
Me: dreams are always intense
the ones you remember anyway
D: Ahhhh yea your right
Me: ok tell me
D: Lol ok fine
I had a really crazy dream about my ex too recently. we have been off and on for so long and this dream was so profound that It really said something to me and I had to finally cut it off. totally sucks but I guess that's life
So anyway
Me: in my experience, if you're constantly on and off with someone, that means you can't make it work. but hell what do i know?
tell me your dream!
D: Seriously about 1 and half 2 years ago I had this dream that I found this amazing girl (like the person youre head over heals for ) and when I found her this general or high ranking military guy got in the way and basically said I had to be a part of this boot camp or military thing to be with this girl ( dreams are vague but that was implied) so I went through all this crazy shit like being stationed in different places, all this crazy boot camp stuff and conflicts with people... and throughout this experience I kept seeing this girl that I wanted to be with and she wanted to be with me, but something kept coming up and this Sergeant was like her dad, it was weird so finally I was in this other place and I finally got to where I needed to be and I found her again but then I woke up, I don't know if I actually got to be with her even though I went through all this crazy shit
But anyway when I woke up I had an image of who she was and her features and the way she ways looked and everything and the first thing I thought of was you
She resembled you so much
Me: hahahaha weird
D: I know
It was weird it was like it was you but dreams can be vague ya know
Me: that isn't embarrassing though
but yea dreams are weird
you know why??
its like when you have amnesia
and your brain can't catalog things correctly because it doesn't know what's a memory or what you just like...saw on tv or something
so everything is just jumbled up
D: Yeah
Me: but you know what ELSE?
D: ?
Me: every single face you see in your dreams is a person you've seen before
your mind never makes them up
so maybe that's why i played the role of the girl of your dreams
lol
D: That's true
Lol
Thee girl
Me: Lol
D: I did feel very intimate and close to you
Me: in the dream
?
D: No!
When we dated
Me: oh
D: Silly
I know it was very short
Me: you were an early-intense-relationship kinda guy
lol
i remember that
D: What do you mean ?
Me: but....it seems like another life to me almost. in some ways like a dream. being in houston.
a lot of my memories of the things i thought and felt then have changed or warped
its hard to explain
i guess i've just changed
i don't mean with you specifically
D: Yeah I totally know what you mean I'm very different
Me: i just went through a lot of shit right before i moved here
its like my life has a before and after period now
haha
but anyway...
D: Well I'm sorry that your past is creeping up on you but I sorta still have feelings for you... never really stopped. not saying that means anything now but I did and still do, or I guess want you to know that youre really awesome and i did think you were sexy as fuck!
Just take it as a compliment
Me: ummmm WHAT?!
lol
sorry
this is just really out of left field
D: Whatever
Me: how long ago did you get out of a relationship??
i'm not...trying to be mean, but this is seriously the last thing i was expecting.
what do you mean you never stopped having feelings for me? that cannot be possible.
D: I haven't been in relationship in a long time I do those anymore lol
Me: pardon my loose use of the word "Relationship"
D: Ugh
Me: i just use it to refer to anything...dating, casual sex, whatever
lol
i was just referring to what you said earlier
that you recently broke things off with someone
D: We are talking about like 3 things at once now
Me: hahaha
are we?
D: Haha
Me: well you're the one who opened pandoras box, so you can't expect me to NOT have a million and one questions for you
D: Who me?
We'll stop being so fucking cute then
Me: oh god
D: And you should have ignored my friend request
Jk
Me: i thought about it
lol
D: I know you did
Me: but then i thought, whats the harm?
lol
and i figured you must have had a reason for requesting me out of nowhere, so curiosity got the better of me
D: Oh we'll there you go
Me: do you even know how long it's been since you and i saw each other?? like in person?
D: 5 years
Me: fuck has it really been that long?
D: We'll I'm sure we can figure it out
Me: how long since we dated?
D: Was it 09?
O8?
I don't remember
Me: it was 08
D: I mean how long did we date it was like month then like a week or two after
So like 2 months
Me: we dated from like april to june
D: Ahhhh you remember all this
Me: well it fell during our birthdays
i remember that* (*Actually I just looked it up on the blog! lol)
so you're saying you've had feelings for me still ALLLLL this time??
i'm sorry but i'm gonna have to call bullshit on that one
lol
D: ok fine
That's not what I said exactly
Me: one of the other things i remember is that you were the one who ended things. although i can't remember why...lol
prettttttttttty sure it was another chick though
pretty sure
actually
D: Uh no
Me: its all coming back to me now
and i'm pretty sure her name was ALSO PEYTON!
the audacity of you...lol
you may present the defense
hahaha
D: No I started to see another girl named Peyton (just random) after you yes that lasted 2 weeks. She was complete trash. But that is not why I stopped taking to you. That's a fact
Me: lol
if you say so
well do you know why you stopped talking to me? because i don't.
i'm not even sure i knew then
D: I stopped talking to you because I was young and dumb
I liked you and was scared of commitment. i listened to Whitney too much
I wasn't a man I barely took care of myself, I wanted to be free and single
I was a total coward
Just simply immature
And I'm sorry
Peoples emotions are not to be messed with and I took a lot for granted
Me: i'm not asking for apologies
just reminiscing
i mean i appreciate you saying all that, i do
i forgot about whitney...he was such a thorn in my side!!
lolhe had no life of his own!! always meddling in other ppls shit...
fuckin whitney
you still talk to him??
D: You know what he is exactly the same! And no
Me: LMAO
hahahahahhahahaha
D: I totally shut him out
Me: that's good!
ppl like him never change
lol
funny though
he had a total lezzie crush on you
D: Oh god you're not the only one to tell me that
He's just hater that's all
Lol
Anyways
Me: ok...so you didn't have feelings for me all along, but you do now?
is that what you're saying?
because i don't know how that is possible either lol.
D: What
That's a trick question
Me: ok then just explain this to me:
"Well I'm sorry that your past is creeping up on you but I sorta still have feelings for you... never really stopped. not saying that means anything now but I did and still do, or I guess want you to know that youre really awesome and i did think you were sexy as fuck!"
those are your words
lol
p.s. i know i'm awesome
D: Yeah you are
Me: but thank you for acknowledging
D: lol
Me: why are you telling me this now Daniel? I am realllllllllly curious. lol.
is it just bc of that dream?
D: I can't explain why I just have been thinking about you and yes I had that dream but I sorta thought I was crazy for having it but then I thought about it again recently and I wanted to see how you where doing . I remember a lot of specific things about you that I really admired and thought you where a total foxAnd yah I really don't know what it ended I just remember being young and dumb
Me: smh...lol
you're a shameless flirt, you know that??
D: What!!
Me: hahaha
don't act so shocked
D: I only flirt with girls with beautiful smiles and strong morals
Me: BAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA
you are SOOOOOOOO full of it!!
well anyway
did you know i'm gonna be in houston next week?
D: Really!?
Me: yea, my friends are flying me in to take their engagement photos
i'll be there for a week
D: I didn't even know you were in ChicagoBut since youre coming here I might try to steal a couple kisses if I get the chance
Me: baha!
lol
you're so
lol
D: Lol
What
Me: i'm going to bed now
but you have my number still?
D: Don't be mad
Me: [my number]
loser
D: Too cute
Good night
Me: shutup
call me or something before next week
that way you won't be all weird when i see you
lol
Sorry that was so long, but it was just too much to paraphrase, and I think the language is important. I want your opinions people! I'm going to Houston next Wednesday to shoot Taryn's engagement photos. So I'll most likely see Daniel, and maybe even go for a motorcycle ride ;)
But what do you guys think? Is he full of shit? Or does it even matter since I'll probably only see him a couple times and then not for a really long time, if ever, once I move back. He's just so...
I know how this goes, ya know? He acts super interested and I get used to talking to him or whatever, just like with BJ and then suddenly BAM! He's gone. But I guess it's irrelevant anyway. What are the chances of this actually working out? Who says I even want it to work out??
All I know is, right now I feel like I have something more to look forward to on my trip to Houston. Even if it is just a stolen kiss.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Float On
First off, thanks everyone for the comforting words. Lol. I did have a little bit of a freak out the other day, but you are all right. It was premature. And now that BJ and I have gotten past that initial hump of "Ohmygodwe'retalkingagain!" things are sort of...calming down a bit between us. Which is nice, because I don't feel as much pressure anymore. I'm just gonna try to relax and when he gets here, I'll take it from there.
Anyway, my friend, Katie, from school, has a friend coming in town in a couple weeks that she wants me to take out for drinks one night. He's her best friends older brother and they live in Cali. Alex (the guy - duh) will be here for one weekend, mid-October. She said she's not trying to set me up with him, it's just that she's underage, so she can't really take him anywhere, and he's not a big party animal, so he most likely wouldn't mesh well with most of her partying pals. She goes, "He's old like you, and he doesn't like going to clubs, he likes to go to bars and just chill." My response? "Gee thanks for reminded me that I'm so 'old'". Lol. She's so funny. But anyway, I agreed to take this guy out for drinks the Friday that he's here. Hopefully I can get the night off work. Katie said she would bring him into my bar Thursday night so we could actually meet first, that way it wouldn't be like we were meeting for the first time Friday night. And she showed me pictures of him, and he looks attractive. Also, he's tall, and she said she heard from a friend that slept with him that he has the biggest penis in the world. No, I am not joking. Lol. The timing is almost poetic. Hahaha. So again, we'll just see what happens...
OMG I just got a random text from my OTHER ex, Nate like JUST NOW. Wtf is going on in the cosmos right now!? This is so weird.... He wants to know 'how I'm doing'. Lol. Well at least I know there is absolutely NO chance of me ever getting back with him. He's too weird and awkward. Lol. G's...
I'm so tired and it's only 9:30. I'm already ready for bed. I normally would be at work, but they're doing construction downstairs so the basement bar was closed tonight. I bartend down there on Thursdays now. It's been ok so far, but kinda slow since no one really knows to come in yet. Katie has come to visit me every week so far. Haha. So that's been cool. At least I'm not fucking waiting tables on Thursdays anymore! That's a definite improvement. Well, I'm gonna try to read a little and go to sleep. I don't think I can keep my eyes open much longer.
Anyway, my friend, Katie, from school, has a friend coming in town in a couple weeks that she wants me to take out for drinks one night. He's her best friends older brother and they live in Cali. Alex (the guy - duh) will be here for one weekend, mid-October. She said she's not trying to set me up with him, it's just that she's underage, so she can't really take him anywhere, and he's not a big party animal, so he most likely wouldn't mesh well with most of her partying pals. She goes, "He's old like you, and he doesn't like going to clubs, he likes to go to bars and just chill." My response? "Gee thanks for reminded me that I'm so 'old'". Lol. She's so funny. But anyway, I agreed to take this guy out for drinks the Friday that he's here. Hopefully I can get the night off work. Katie said she would bring him into my bar Thursday night so we could actually meet first, that way it wouldn't be like we were meeting for the first time Friday night. And she showed me pictures of him, and he looks attractive. Also, he's tall, and she said she heard from a friend that slept with him that he has the biggest penis in the world. No, I am not joking. Lol. The timing is almost poetic. Hahaha. So again, we'll just see what happens...
OMG I just got a random text from my OTHER ex, Nate like JUST NOW. Wtf is going on in the cosmos right now!? This is so weird.... He wants to know 'how I'm doing'. Lol. Well at least I know there is absolutely NO chance of me ever getting back with him. He's too weird and awkward. Lol. G's...
I'm so tired and it's only 9:30. I'm already ready for bed. I normally would be at work, but they're doing construction downstairs so the basement bar was closed tonight. I bartend down there on Thursdays now. It's been ok so far, but kinda slow since no one really knows to come in yet. Katie has come to visit me every week so far. Haha. So that's been cool. At least I'm not fucking waiting tables on Thursdays anymore! That's a definite improvement. Well, I'm gonna try to read a little and go to sleep. I don't think I can keep my eyes open much longer.
Flame on muthafuckaz!
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Weekend of Exes
Remember a couple weeks ago when Brazil sent me a friend request? Well, I accepted it. Mostly out of morbid curiosity. I just wanted to know what he wanted. Well, 2 weeks went by, and nothing happened, so I deleted him again. And then I made Abbie delete him from her friends too. So that was that.
Now let's take an even longer trip down memory lane, shall we? Remember my old boyfriend BJ? (<-- Visit this link to catch up) Well Friday morning, I had a dream about him, sorta. In the dream he had this really beautiful horse, and I wanted to show a picture of the horse to my girlfriend (can't remember who). So I had BJ's phone, and I was scrolling through his pics looking for the pic of his horse. And I came across this picture of a bunch of us at the beach, and I was in the background of this picture, adjusting my swimsuit top, and my boob was totally showing. So I was like, "OMG you have to delete this!" And he was like, "Oh well I have copies" and for some reason, in the dream, I was just like, "haha, oh well!" It was like we were together in the dream or something. I dunno, but I woke up with this...renewed interest (?) in him. And of course I had to text him about the dream immediately. And I said, "So....do you have any naked pictures of me?"
And he didn't respond for quite a long time, so I started to think maybe he was weirded out or something by my text. And then I was like, "Oh shit, maybe he thinks I want to send him some naked pics?" Lol. So I texted him again to clarify, "Fyi I wasn't offering to send you a naked pic. Lol. I just had a dream last night that you had a picture of me, in which I had a wardrobe malfunction. Lol."
And again, he didn't respond! And it's just very unlike him to ignore a text like that, especially since we recently had a brief conversation. So I sent him a facebook message, asking if he changed his number. He responded immediately with the new number. LOL.
Here's our conversation....
Me: Dude, did you change your #??
BJ: Lol yes (phone number)
Me: Omg...good to know. I texted someone something weird this morning. Hhaha!
BJ: Lol please tell me they texted you back.
Me: Haha no, that's why I messaged you! But I said, "So...do you have any naked pictures of me?" And then there was no reply so I thought maybe I freaked you out or something and I felt the need to clarify so then I wrote:
Fyi I wasn't offering to send you a naked pic. Lol. I just had a dream last night that you had a picture of me, in which I had a wardrobe malfunction. Lol.
BJ: Lol if someone would've gotten that it seriously would've made my year.
Me: I really hope so .
Anyway, it was a funny dream.
BJ: Sounds like it, I'll be there next month, pencil me in
Me: When?
BJ: Oct 26
Me: How long are you staying here? And where are you staying? Lol sorry for the 20 questions
BJ: Just for the weekend
Me: Well where are you staying?
BJ: I may get a hotel I may stay at my buddies house haven't decided
Me: Stay with MEEEE!! Lol. Who do you know that lives here?
BJ: One of my best friends from the military
Me: Oh I see. Well you're welcome to crash with me if you want. I live near wrigley field.
BJ: Uh that sounds like greatness
So that was just our facebook conversation, which we were having while I was working, so it got busy and I wasn't able to respond t.o him for a while. But later, just before I left work, I texted him, and we small talked for a while, I'll spare you the boring stuff. Eventually he brought up the dream again.
BJ: So about those naked pictures of you, should I delete them....or.....
Me: Lol. In the ream it wasn't really a naked picture. [I explain the dream]
BJ: Lol I have mixed feelings about this story. Humor, obviously, envy of Dream Me, and jealousy because this wasn't real.
Me: BAHAHAHAHA!! I have mixed feelings about it as well, bc clearly, Dream Me didn't mind that you had this pic of me, and when I woke up I had this unexplainable urge to make out with you. Haha.
BJ: Dream You needs to do all of your thinking
Me: Hahaha. Is that so??
BJ: Uh yea, I miss your face, and have for a long time.
Me: You do??? Well that honestly surprises me since we hardly saw each other when I was living in Houston.
BJ: Lol well we chose different paths, I'm not cool, trendy, or hip so I didn't know what to do when you broke up with me. I was angry and confused, but that doesn't mean my feelings ever changed.
Me: What do you mean your feelings never changed?? I broke up with you mainly bc I felt like you were in a different place in your life than I was.* You were big into the frat/college scene and I wasn't really. I mean it was fun for a while, but I was kinda trying to figure my own life/shit out at the time. Plus, you lived an hour away! And I just wasn't ready for anything serious at the time.
*Side note: Also there was also Daniel...which obviously, I didn't include in my explanation, but I was young. It was what it was.
BJ: And you weren't wrong, but that's still not what I wanted.
Me: What's not what you wanted?
BJ: Breaking up
Me: Well don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you've never been exactly forthcoming with your feelings. And you were so hostile to me afterwards that I just assumed you didn't want anything to do with me. Also, I feel the need to ask, are you drunk right now?? [It was like 3am]
BJ: No, if I get a DUI, I get fired and fuck that shit! My job is too good to lose.
Me: Lol ok just wondering.... Well I'm sorry for all that. A lot has changed since then. I am much more...I dunno what work to use, experienced/pragmatic/realistic/grown up now. I have always considered you at least a friend, if not a good friend. But I guess I've never really known your feelings/opinions.
BJ: I know what you mean, I think the same is true for both of us, and I'm very aware that I'm not forthcoming with feelings, lol. To be honest, whether you realize it or not, you know more about me than probably anybody on the planet.
Me: What??? I find that very hard to believe...
BJ: It's very true, but I'm not going to explain why or how. I think I've maxed myself out on feelings sharing.
Me: Nooooo! Lol.
BJ: Lol what you don't realize is you've always had me.
BJ: I know that's probably not what a woman wants to hear because it's not challenging but it is what it is.
Me: You might be the most self-contradicting, confusing person I've ever met. I mean...it's just hard for me to accept that as truth after you pretty much dated all my friends! And I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it bc I had a huge thing for you in hs and you went after first Rikki, then Emma. And I won't even bring up the Cecilia thing, lol, but it just...doesn't make sense to me! I just...always thought you weren't that into me. Anyway, what does "challenging" have to do with anything?? I'm not 22 anymore.
BJ: Rikki was before I knew you liked me and Emma and I were always just friends. And Cecilia happened after I flew home for your birthday and found out you were making out with some other guy outside.
Me: I wasn't trying to put you on the defensive. you don't have to explain anything. That is all long in the past. I was just trying to explain why this is confusing for me. Not to mention the part where you never even hinted at any of this. You realize we fight like cats and dogs, right?? You act all macho in front of your friends, and I know it's just an act and it drives me crazy cuz I can't figure out why you act that way. And I'm confrontational and stubborn and weird and flighty and probably selfish and frustrating. This isn't exactly a 2+2=4 kind of equation. Anyway, I'm sorry for whatever pain and suffering I'm sure I caused you in the past. I hope that at least we can put all that behind us. [finally!]
BJ: But that's not even the point. Those aren't the girls who I've fought with, worked things out with and came back to for the last 12 years.
Me: You've worked things out with me bc I MADE you! I'm not the type to let go of friends easily. And I know the things we argue about are usually dumb. Definitely not worth losing a friendship over.
BJ: Everything you just say about us is 100% true, but I don't know, I really liked all of that, and I'm much less of a macho d-bag these days.
Me: Hahahaha well it's nice to know you're aware of your old habits... As for the rest, I agree, it kept things interesting. And it means a lot what you said, but I'm not sure that your feelings are really for ME, as I am now, and not just the idea of me, or the way you remember me. You have dated a lot of crazy broads, maybe I'm just the most agreeable out of all them. Lol. But really, it's been a long time since we've hung out and I'm not the same person anymore. I mean I am, but I'm not. You know?
BJ: Lol first you are not the most agreeable woman I've ever dated by a long shot, and I can imagine that you've grown and changed, that happens as we go through life, and in all reality you may such, I'm pretty sure I'm kind of lame these days, but I'm happy so screw it. And I'm visiting in a month so that'll be a chance to find out.
Me: True...but I don't want it to feel like we're putting a lot of pressure on one wkend. I am gonna have to work, ya know, it's Halloween. But we should try and catch up before then. So it's not like I'm talking to you for the first time in a million yrs.
BJ: Also, I wasn't trying to spring this on you, nor do I expect anything. These were just things I should've said a long time ago. Lol but I have a lot of plans that weekend, I was just saying we could get a meal together. No pressure at all.
Me: Well my offer still stands if you wanna stay with me. When are you flying back?
BJ: I still have to book my return ticket for Sunday.
Me: Well you should make it late. Lol. Cuz Sunday is the only day I won't have to work.
BJ: I can do that. Ok gorgeous I have to go to sleep. Sweet dreams.
BJ: Dream about sending me naked pictures, or just do. Lol.
Me: (: Night
So that was that conversation.
MIND IS BLOWN.
Right?? I mean I'm still trying to sort through all this. Mostly I can't figure out how I really feel about it, about him, because on the one hand, there's excitement you know, and it feels good to hear things like that from someone. But I don't know if I actually want to pursue this or not. And if he really feels that way about me, I don't want to lead him on either. Because I do really care about him as a friend, regardless of our romantic status. ((Sigh)) So confusing. We texted a bit today as well. So I know he wasn't just drunk word-vomiting Friday night.
Despite the quagmire that is my feelings, I'm not gonna lie, I feel...happy about it. Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?? Anyone???
Ok, now for tonight, Saturday night. Went to work, and it was me, Abbie and Warren as usual. Well around 11ish, Warren disappeared into the office to do some server closeouts and it's just me and Abbie behind the bar. And it's just starting to really get busy when GUESS WHO WALKS UP TO THE BAR??
If you guessed Brazil, you would be correct.
I just looked up and there he was, right in front of me, and I said, "What the fuck!" because I was surprised. And he was like ,"What, am I not allowed to be here?" And I said, "What? I didn't say that..."
And then he said, "You pretty much said that."
And I said, "No, I just said 'What the fuck' because you surprised me."
Then he asked how I was doing (great!) and how is Jasper and where am I living. And I was trying to be...unaffected and as nice as possible. But it was just so awkward! Finally he took his 2 beers and left, and we were busy so I had enough to be getting on with. He and his friend lurked in front of the bar until some people got up and then they sat down and stayed for at least an hour. I completely ignored him. I served drinks to people on either sides of him without even making eye contact with him. I just pretended he wasn't there pretty much. He made another attempt to talk to me once when I walked by. He asked how I was doing, and I just said, "Fine, just busy working" and walked away.
Then finally, Warren comes back from the office just as Brazil is about to leave. And he's standing at the end of the bar, obviously waiting to say goodbye to me, but I just kept ignoring him, and eventually he left. And Warren goes, "Hey was that that guy that-"
"Yes," I interrupted him before he could make fun of me, "I don't know what he was doing here, I'm just glad he's finally gone."
"He was here trying to get laid." Warren said.
And then I told him that after our initial encounter at the bar, I seriously doubted that he thought he was gonna get laid. But Warren just said, "Guys are dumb. He probably still hopes he's gonna get laid." And I was just like, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me, I mean, no way!"
Well very shortly after that, Brazil texted me.
"Hey, sorry if it was akward (yes, he spelled it wrong) of me showing up out of nowhere today. Anyways, it was good to see you"
So I show Warren the text and he's like "I told you!" and then I was like, "Well what should I say??"
Well Warren had this awesome idea, which I am proud to say I used. Lol. Here is what I responded with:
Me: It was just really busy. So are you busy later?
Brazil: Im just at home now, surfing the web n stuff.. I guess that means .. Not busy?
Me: Wanna hang out when I get off work?
Brazil: For sure, if by any chance I don't respond is probably cause im passed out sleeping.
Brazil: But anyways, u have idea whne u will be done? Dont mean to bother, i know ur really busy
Me: Oh wait, hang on...I just remembered you're THE DOUCHEST BAG. But you're welcome at [our bar] anytime. Sweet dreams.
Brazil: That was unecessary, and you know it's not true.. Not cool peyton. You have no reason to say that to me, even if you think you do. Anyway, i hope ur doing fine, I'll disregard the insults.
A couple minutes go by...
Brazil: Douchest bag ever? WTF?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!!!
I'm sorry, I know it was terrible, and immature, yada yada, but it just felt soooo good!! And me and Warren seriously laughed about it for at least 20 minutes. It definitely made my night. ((Sigh))
I didn't respond to him any more after that. It was just great. I just can't believe he was dumb enough to think that after I deleted him from my friends TWICE, and then completely ignored him at the bar, he thought I would wanna go over to his place?? In the words of Ron Weasley, "How thick can you get?"
LOL.
Also on a side note, it's really hard for me to type all his misspellings. Lol. Idiot.
Anyway, this is has been one interesting weekend. On another unrelated note, I gave my number to a hot guy on Friday night. Perhaps I'll hear from him, perhaps I won't? Meh...
Anyway, I really could use some advice on the BJ situation? I mean I'm gonna see him in about a month, but I don't wanna like...invest too much into that right now because it just seems kind of silly. I dunno... Let me know what you all think.
Now let's take an even longer trip down memory lane, shall we? Remember my old boyfriend BJ? (<-- Visit this link to catch up) Well Friday morning, I had a dream about him, sorta. In the dream he had this really beautiful horse, and I wanted to show a picture of the horse to my girlfriend (can't remember who). So I had BJ's phone, and I was scrolling through his pics looking for the pic of his horse. And I came across this picture of a bunch of us at the beach, and I was in the background of this picture, adjusting my swimsuit top, and my boob was totally showing. So I was like, "OMG you have to delete this!" And he was like, "Oh well I have copies" and for some reason, in the dream, I was just like, "haha, oh well!" It was like we were together in the dream or something. I dunno, but I woke up with this...renewed interest (?) in him. And of course I had to text him about the dream immediately. And I said, "So....do you have any naked pictures of me?"
And he didn't respond for quite a long time, so I started to think maybe he was weirded out or something by my text. And then I was like, "Oh shit, maybe he thinks I want to send him some naked pics?" Lol. So I texted him again to clarify, "Fyi I wasn't offering to send you a naked pic. Lol. I just had a dream last night that you had a picture of me, in which I had a wardrobe malfunction. Lol."
And again, he didn't respond! And it's just very unlike him to ignore a text like that, especially since we recently had a brief conversation. So I sent him a facebook message, asking if he changed his number. He responded immediately with the new number. LOL.
Here's our conversation....
Me: Dude, did you change your #??
BJ: Lol yes (phone number)
Me: Omg...good to know. I texted someone something weird this morning. Hhaha!
BJ: Lol please tell me they texted you back.
Me: Haha no, that's why I messaged you! But I said, "So...do you have any naked pictures of me?" And then there was no reply so I thought maybe I freaked you out or something and I felt the need to clarify so then I wrote:
Fyi I wasn't offering to send you a naked pic. Lol. I just had a dream last night that you had a picture of me, in which I had a wardrobe malfunction. Lol.
BJ: Lol if someone would've gotten that it seriously would've made my year.
Me: I really hope so .
Anyway, it was a funny dream.
BJ: Sounds like it, I'll be there next month, pencil me in
Me: When?
BJ: Oct 26
Me: How long are you staying here? And where are you staying? Lol sorry for the 20 questions
BJ: Just for the weekend
Me: Well where are you staying?
BJ: I may get a hotel I may stay at my buddies house haven't decided
Me: Stay with MEEEE!! Lol. Who do you know that lives here?
BJ: One of my best friends from the military
Me: Oh I see. Well you're welcome to crash with me if you want. I live near wrigley field.
BJ: Uh that sounds like greatness
So that was just our facebook conversation, which we were having while I was working, so it got busy and I wasn't able to respond t.o him for a while. But later, just before I left work, I texted him, and we small talked for a while, I'll spare you the boring stuff. Eventually he brought up the dream again.
BJ: So about those naked pictures of you, should I delete them....or.....
Me: Lol. In the ream it wasn't really a naked picture. [I explain the dream]
BJ: Lol I have mixed feelings about this story. Humor, obviously, envy of Dream Me, and jealousy because this wasn't real.
Me: BAHAHAHAHA!! I have mixed feelings about it as well, bc clearly, Dream Me didn't mind that you had this pic of me, and when I woke up I had this unexplainable urge to make out with you. Haha.
BJ: Dream You needs to do all of your thinking
Me: Hahaha. Is that so??
BJ: Uh yea, I miss your face, and have for a long time.
Me: You do??? Well that honestly surprises me since we hardly saw each other when I was living in Houston.
BJ: Lol well we chose different paths, I'm not cool, trendy, or hip so I didn't know what to do when you broke up with me. I was angry and confused, but that doesn't mean my feelings ever changed.
Me: What do you mean your feelings never changed?? I broke up with you mainly bc I felt like you were in a different place in your life than I was.* You were big into the frat/college scene and I wasn't really. I mean it was fun for a while, but I was kinda trying to figure my own life/shit out at the time. Plus, you lived an hour away! And I just wasn't ready for anything serious at the time.
*Side note: Also there was also Daniel...which obviously, I didn't include in my explanation, but I was young. It was what it was.
BJ: And you weren't wrong, but that's still not what I wanted.
Me: What's not what you wanted?
BJ: Breaking up
Me: Well don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you've never been exactly forthcoming with your feelings. And you were so hostile to me afterwards that I just assumed you didn't want anything to do with me. Also, I feel the need to ask, are you drunk right now?? [It was like 3am]
BJ: No, if I get a DUI, I get fired and fuck that shit! My job is too good to lose.
Me: Lol ok just wondering.... Well I'm sorry for all that. A lot has changed since then. I am much more...I dunno what work to use, experienced/pragmatic/realistic/grown up now. I have always considered you at least a friend, if not a good friend. But I guess I've never really known your feelings/opinions.
BJ: I know what you mean, I think the same is true for both of us, and I'm very aware that I'm not forthcoming with feelings, lol. To be honest, whether you realize it or not, you know more about me than probably anybody on the planet.
Me: What??? I find that very hard to believe...
BJ: It's very true, but I'm not going to explain why or how. I think I've maxed myself out on feelings sharing.
Me: Nooooo! Lol.
BJ: Lol what you don't realize is you've always had me.
BJ: I know that's probably not what a woman wants to hear because it's not challenging but it is what it is.
Me: You might be the most self-contradicting, confusing person I've ever met. I mean...it's just hard for me to accept that as truth after you pretty much dated all my friends! And I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm saying it bc I had a huge thing for you in hs and you went after first Rikki, then Emma. And I won't even bring up the Cecilia thing, lol, but it just...doesn't make sense to me! I just...always thought you weren't that into me. Anyway, what does "challenging" have to do with anything?? I'm not 22 anymore.
BJ: Rikki was before I knew you liked me and Emma and I were always just friends. And Cecilia happened after I flew home for your birthday and found out you were making out with some other guy outside.
Me: I wasn't trying to put you on the defensive. you don't have to explain anything. That is all long in the past. I was just trying to explain why this is confusing for me. Not to mention the part where you never even hinted at any of this. You realize we fight like cats and dogs, right?? You act all macho in front of your friends, and I know it's just an act and it drives me crazy cuz I can't figure out why you act that way. And I'm confrontational and stubborn and weird and flighty and probably selfish and frustrating. This isn't exactly a 2+2=4 kind of equation. Anyway, I'm sorry for whatever pain and suffering I'm sure I caused you in the past. I hope that at least we can put all that behind us. [finally!]
BJ: But that's not even the point. Those aren't the girls who I've fought with, worked things out with and came back to for the last 12 years.
Me: You've worked things out with me bc I MADE you! I'm not the type to let go of friends easily. And I know the things we argue about are usually dumb. Definitely not worth losing a friendship over.
BJ: Everything you just say about us is 100% true, but I don't know, I really liked all of that, and I'm much less of a macho d-bag these days.
Me: Hahahaha well it's nice to know you're aware of your old habits... As for the rest, I agree, it kept things interesting. And it means a lot what you said, but I'm not sure that your feelings are really for ME, as I am now, and not just the idea of me, or the way you remember me. You have dated a lot of crazy broads, maybe I'm just the most agreeable out of all them. Lol. But really, it's been a long time since we've hung out and I'm not the same person anymore. I mean I am, but I'm not. You know?
BJ: Lol first you are not the most agreeable woman I've ever dated by a long shot, and I can imagine that you've grown and changed, that happens as we go through life, and in all reality you may such, I'm pretty sure I'm kind of lame these days, but I'm happy so screw it. And I'm visiting in a month so that'll be a chance to find out.
Me: True...but I don't want it to feel like we're putting a lot of pressure on one wkend. I am gonna have to work, ya know, it's Halloween. But we should try and catch up before then. So it's not like I'm talking to you for the first time in a million yrs.
BJ: Also, I wasn't trying to spring this on you, nor do I expect anything. These were just things I should've said a long time ago. Lol but I have a lot of plans that weekend, I was just saying we could get a meal together. No pressure at all.
Me: Well my offer still stands if you wanna stay with me. When are you flying back?
BJ: I still have to book my return ticket for Sunday.
Me: Well you should make it late. Lol. Cuz Sunday is the only day I won't have to work.
BJ: I can do that. Ok gorgeous I have to go to sleep. Sweet dreams.
BJ: Dream about sending me naked pictures, or just do. Lol.
Me: (: Night
So that was that conversation.
MIND IS BLOWN.
Right?? I mean I'm still trying to sort through all this. Mostly I can't figure out how I really feel about it, about him, because on the one hand, there's excitement you know, and it feels good to hear things like that from someone. But I don't know if I actually want to pursue this or not. And if he really feels that way about me, I don't want to lead him on either. Because I do really care about him as a friend, regardless of our romantic status. ((Sigh)) So confusing. We texted a bit today as well. So I know he wasn't just drunk word-vomiting Friday night.
Despite the quagmire that is my feelings, I'm not gonna lie, I feel...happy about it. Thoughts? Opinions? Advice?? Anyone???
Ok, now for tonight, Saturday night. Went to work, and it was me, Abbie and Warren as usual. Well around 11ish, Warren disappeared into the office to do some server closeouts and it's just me and Abbie behind the bar. And it's just starting to really get busy when GUESS WHO WALKS UP TO THE BAR??
If you guessed Brazil, you would be correct.
I just looked up and there he was, right in front of me, and I said, "What the fuck!" because I was surprised. And he was like ,"What, am I not allowed to be here?" And I said, "What? I didn't say that..."
And then he said, "You pretty much said that."
And I said, "No, I just said 'What the fuck' because you surprised me."
Then he asked how I was doing (great!) and how is Jasper and where am I living. And I was trying to be...unaffected and as nice as possible. But it was just so awkward! Finally he took his 2 beers and left, and we were busy so I had enough to be getting on with. He and his friend lurked in front of the bar until some people got up and then they sat down and stayed for at least an hour. I completely ignored him. I served drinks to people on either sides of him without even making eye contact with him. I just pretended he wasn't there pretty much. He made another attempt to talk to me once when I walked by. He asked how I was doing, and I just said, "Fine, just busy working" and walked away.
Then finally, Warren comes back from the office just as Brazil is about to leave. And he's standing at the end of the bar, obviously waiting to say goodbye to me, but I just kept ignoring him, and eventually he left. And Warren goes, "Hey was that that guy that-"
"Yes," I interrupted him before he could make fun of me, "I don't know what he was doing here, I'm just glad he's finally gone."
"He was here trying to get laid." Warren said.
And then I told him that after our initial encounter at the bar, I seriously doubted that he thought he was gonna get laid. But Warren just said, "Guys are dumb. He probably still hopes he's gonna get laid." And I was just like, "You've gotta be fucking kidding me, I mean, no way!"
Well very shortly after that, Brazil texted me.
"Hey, sorry if it was akward (yes, he spelled it wrong) of me showing up out of nowhere today. Anyways, it was good to see you"
So I show Warren the text and he's like "I told you!" and then I was like, "Well what should I say??"
Well Warren had this awesome idea, which I am proud to say I used. Lol. Here is what I responded with:
Me: It was just really busy. So are you busy later?
Brazil: Im just at home now, surfing the web n stuff.. I guess that means .. Not busy?
Me: Wanna hang out when I get off work?
Brazil: For sure, if by any chance I don't respond is probably cause im passed out sleeping.
Brazil: But anyways, u have idea whne u will be done? Dont mean to bother, i know ur really busy
Me: Oh wait, hang on...I just remembered you're THE DOUCHEST BAG. But you're welcome at [our bar] anytime. Sweet dreams.
Brazil: That was unecessary, and you know it's not true.. Not cool peyton. You have no reason to say that to me, even if you think you do. Anyway, i hope ur doing fine, I'll disregard the insults.
A couple minutes go by...
Brazil: Douchest bag ever? WTF?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAA!!!!!
I'm sorry, I know it was terrible, and immature, yada yada, but it just felt soooo good!! And me and Warren seriously laughed about it for at least 20 minutes. It definitely made my night. ((Sigh))
I didn't respond to him any more after that. It was just great. I just can't believe he was dumb enough to think that after I deleted him from my friends TWICE, and then completely ignored him at the bar, he thought I would wanna go over to his place?? In the words of Ron Weasley, "How thick can you get?"
LOL.
Also on a side note, it's really hard for me to type all his misspellings. Lol. Idiot.
Anyway, this is has been one interesting weekend. On another unrelated note, I gave my number to a hot guy on Friday night. Perhaps I'll hear from him, perhaps I won't? Meh...
Anyway, I really could use some advice on the BJ situation? I mean I'm gonna see him in about a month, but I don't wanna like...invest too much into that right now because it just seems kind of silly. I dunno... Let me know what you all think.
Flame on, muthafuckaz!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Endure
I'm going to see him in an hour. I will definitely post when I get home from work tonight, which probably won't be till about 5am, but by tomorrow we'll all know what happens. ((Sigh))
Also, I just wanna clarify something, because Warren did point this out to me last night, which definitely doesn't excuse his behavior (!!!) but, I think it is a valid point worth mentioning. And that is that he and I are not exclusive. Also, Stephanie did dump him back in the beginning of December, and I'm pretty sure they never officially got back together. He just referred to her as his gf in that conversation because obviously that girl didn't know anything about their history. So I guess Brazil was just trying to see if he could work things out with Stephanie, because she said she wanted him back. But of course, the fact still remains that he lied to me about it. And that's the bottom line. So I'm not going to be cutting him any slack. Wish me luck. :/
Also, I just wanna clarify something, because Warren did point this out to me last night, which definitely doesn't excuse his behavior (!!!) but, I think it is a valid point worth mentioning. And that is that he and I are not exclusive. Also, Stephanie did dump him back in the beginning of December, and I'm pretty sure they never officially got back together. He just referred to her as his gf in that conversation because obviously that girl didn't know anything about their history. So I guess Brazil was just trying to see if he could work things out with Stephanie, because she said she wanted him back. But of course, the fact still remains that he lied to me about it. And that's the bottom line. So I'm not going to be cutting him any slack. Wish me luck. :/
I see our fate, I see our past
And all the things that could not last
It’s heavy on these eyes, frozen as I hold this photograph
It’s all we’re left that’s of any worth
And it’s so much more than a thousand words
Now in this frame is our only way we can endure
And all the things that could not last
It’s heavy on these eyes, frozen as I hold this photograph
It’s all we’re left that’s of any worth
And it’s so much more than a thousand words
Now in this frame is our only way we can endure
Friday, February 24, 2012
I Stumbled Upon Something Bad...
I stayed with Brazil last night, everything was fine and dandy. We talked about stuff, mainly Stephanie, his ex. He said she keeps trying to contact him and it's bringing him down blablabla... I basically told him I was getting tired of hearing about Stephanie all the time, because I don't know what he wants me to do with this information! I mean there's nothing I can do about it. So how is that supposed to make me feel that he's constantly thinking about his ex, and getting all depressed over her? ((Sigh)) He said he was sorry, and that he's trying to get over her, but he can't just change his number, more blablabla.
So then this morning, he left early for work and I slept till like noon. When I got up, I went to his computer to check my email, facebook, etc. Well the browser opened automatically to his facebook, cuz he never signs out. And I saw a conversation open with some girl named Britney. And I saw the name Stephanie in that conversation, so I read it. Maybe it was against my better judgement, but guess what?? He apparently just broke up with her over the weekend!! Read below...
Britney: What's going on?
Brazil: broke up with the girl I was seeing this weekend :/
Britney: I didn't know you were seeing anyone. I'm so sorry. It just wasn't working out? What happened?
Brazil: it's a really long and sad story
Britney: Just tell me
Brazil: well i'm just heartbroken, I really fell for her, big time. I just feel used, and I am so angry, frustrated and sad
Britney: What did she do?
Brazil: Several things since I met her, but this weekend it reached the point where I had enough
Britney: What was the breaking point?
Brazil: this will be long so bear with me:
Britney: Ok
Brazil: So, she had to be away during valentine's day. She was doing training for her company in Ohio. Understandable, I had no problems with that at all.
Brazil: So we planned to celebrate our valentine's day on friday when she got back, i'd pick her up in the airport and we would have dinner afterwards
Brazil: i don't know if you know, but I don't have a car
Brazil: so I rented one, bought a nice card, bought a super nice gift (which i knew she really wanted already), made a reservation at this awesome restaurant in the burbs, I basically made sure she would have a great night once she got here
Britney: wow [Brazil], wow
Brazil: at first when she arrived, everything seemed to be fine, she seemed to be super happy to see me, she really enjoyed the gifts too, so far so good.
Brazil: Then at dinner, everything went fine, the food was great, we had wine, she enjoyed her meal, all good.
Brazil: then we drove back to her place, so we could spend the night together once we got there, she basically didn't even let me go up, saying she was too tired and wanted to be alone.
Brazil: lets not forget she didn't give me shit for vday, just for the record. as soon as she left the car, i just could not believe what happened
Britney: oh boy
Brazil: then, the next day, she refused to answer the phone all day, completely ignoring me. That's when i said i had enough. She's done this several times before, so it was not like it was the first time.
Brazil: not to say that all the times i was at the hospital she did not come visit me once, one of the times she said she couldn't because she was having dinner with her girlfriends
Britney: Omg [Brazil], that would have been it for me right there
Brazil: so the dinner on friday, i was kinda giving it a last try, made sure i tried everything. i made sure i did everything as best as I could, so if something went wrong, i knew it would not have been my fault.
Brazil: and then, that shit happened, so I finally gave up
Britney: I'm sorry to hear that.
Yea, I'm sorry to hear that too, because I never want to see Brazil again. He fucking lied to me! After all that BULLSHIT about being honest, not matter what! He fucking lied. And what if he was sleeping with her?!? I feel like such a fool. I should have known better. He's young, he's not over his ex, wtf was I thinking!?? I know this is bad karma for reading a private conversation, but I guess it's better that I know. I just don't know what to do now. I mean I can't unlearn this information, and I can't pretend I don't know about it either. But how I can tell him I know?? What do I say to him?? And is it sad that there's some part of me that's hoping he'll have some sort of valiant explanation and everything will work out??
Oh yea, before I forget, guess who just sent me a friend request on facebook?? THE MODEL. Ughh.....
So then this morning, he left early for work and I slept till like noon. When I got up, I went to his computer to check my email, facebook, etc. Well the browser opened automatically to his facebook, cuz he never signs out. And I saw a conversation open with some girl named Britney. And I saw the name Stephanie in that conversation, so I read it. Maybe it was against my better judgement, but guess what?? He apparently just broke up with her over the weekend!! Read below...
Britney: What's going on?
Brazil: broke up with the girl I was seeing this weekend :/
Britney: I didn't know you were seeing anyone. I'm so sorry. It just wasn't working out? What happened?
Brazil: it's a really long and sad story
Britney: Just tell me
Brazil: well i'm just heartbroken, I really fell for her, big time. I just feel used, and I am so angry, frustrated and sad
Britney: What did she do?
Brazil: Several things since I met her, but this weekend it reached the point where I had enough
Britney: What was the breaking point?
Brazil: this will be long so bear with me:
Britney: Ok
Brazil: So, she had to be away during valentine's day. She was doing training for her company in Ohio. Understandable, I had no problems with that at all.
Brazil: So we planned to celebrate our valentine's day on friday when she got back, i'd pick her up in the airport and we would have dinner afterwards
Brazil: i don't know if you know, but I don't have a car
Brazil: so I rented one, bought a nice card, bought a super nice gift (which i knew she really wanted already), made a reservation at this awesome restaurant in the burbs, I basically made sure she would have a great night once she got here
Britney: wow [Brazil], wow
Brazil: at first when she arrived, everything seemed to be fine, she seemed to be super happy to see me, she really enjoyed the gifts too, so far so good.
Brazil: Then at dinner, everything went fine, the food was great, we had wine, she enjoyed her meal, all good.
Brazil: then we drove back to her place, so we could spend the night together once we got there, she basically didn't even let me go up, saying she was too tired and wanted to be alone.
Brazil: lets not forget she didn't give me shit for vday, just for the record. as soon as she left the car, i just could not believe what happened
Britney: oh boy
Brazil: then, the next day, she refused to answer the phone all day, completely ignoring me. That's when i said i had enough. She's done this several times before, so it was not like it was the first time.
Brazil: not to say that all the times i was at the hospital she did not come visit me once, one of the times she said she couldn't because she was having dinner with her girlfriends
Britney: Omg [Brazil], that would have been it for me right there
Brazil: so the dinner on friday, i was kinda giving it a last try, made sure i tried everything. i made sure i did everything as best as I could, so if something went wrong, i knew it would not have been my fault.
Brazil: and then, that shit happened, so I finally gave up
Britney: I'm sorry to hear that.
Yea, I'm sorry to hear that too, because I never want to see Brazil again. He fucking lied to me! After all that BULLSHIT about being honest, not matter what! He fucking lied. And what if he was sleeping with her?!? I feel like such a fool. I should have known better. He's young, he's not over his ex, wtf was I thinking!?? I know this is bad karma for reading a private conversation, but I guess it's better that I know. I just don't know what to do now. I mean I can't unlearn this information, and I can't pretend I don't know about it either. But how I can tell him I know?? What do I say to him?? And is it sad that there's some part of me that's hoping he'll have some sort of valiant explanation and everything will work out??
Oh yea, before I forget, guess who just sent me a friend request on facebook?? THE MODEL. Ughh.....
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Someone To Take Care Of
While I'm still not really sure what I'm doing with Brazil in the long run, I think we've made some steps in the right direction. After I posted yesterday, he texted me, asking if I wanted to hang out before work, and he mentioned going to dinner, so that I wouldn't be hungry at 3 in the morning like on Friday night. :/ He really is a sweetheart. But I just couldn't stop thinking about the thing with his ex. So I sent him this...
Me: I've been thinking about everything you said. And I'm kind of...scared to keep doing what we're doing. I mean I understand what you're going through, almost all too well, which is why it makes me really nervous that you still have feelings for your ex. I can't compete with that, and I don't want to. I have to protect myself too, and I don't want to become attached to someone who is emotionally unavailable. I just don't want to be in a situation like that again, it never ends well for me. I'm not saying I don't want to keep seeing you, because I do, but I just feel like you should know where I'm at right now.
Then several minutes went by and I started to second guess myself saying that to him, and agonizing over what he must be thinking, and I started to feel like a real asshole. So I just curled up in bed and laid there for a while. Finally, he responded...
(Keep in mind he's foreign, so sometimes his diction is a little...different. Lol.)
Brazil: I mean it's fair enough. I would not say I'm emotionally unavailable, but I'm recovering from something, and I'm playing it very safe cause the last thing I want is the same thing to happen again. The feelings I have towards Stephanie are hate, and anger, they're not pretty. I just need time so it will all wash away. I'd love to keep seeing you, cause I enjoy being around you more with everytime we meet. I also understand you have to protect yourself. Anyway, I'm here and I'm willing.
Me: Willing to what?
Brazil: To see you, and give this a try. All I ask is for us to take our time, that's all. As I said, I'll always be honest, just like I was this morning.
Me: I understand playing it safe, I don't have any problems with you or the way you're handling things. It's just my past experiences have shaped me as well, and I've learned it's generally not a good idea to get involved with someone fresh out of a relationship because there's too much hurt/frustration/residual feelings that can often lead to ups and downs and back and forths, and that's like...torture for me. I don't want to sit around wondering if the ex is just going to pop up out of nowhere and reenter the picture. It's happened to me before.
I appreciate you being honest with me, it's one of the things I really like about you, but it still puts me on my guard. I can't help it.
Brazil: I understand, even though it might not be beneficial for me, I won't lie cause I don't want to hurt anyone. But as I said, if I wanted to be with her now, I could. I don't think it's gonna happen. I'd rather have you respect me now, even though you might not want to see me as often, or as much as we were. It's not what I want, but I respect your position.
Me: I still want to hang out with you, I just think we should be more...normal.
Brazil: Lol ok. Cause we too weird, right? Haha I'll be home all afternoon as I said, and if you want to come by, the offer still stands.
After that I went on to explain that I just want us to spend more time getting to know each other outside of "My place or your place?" situations and we both basically came to the conclusion that we want the same things right now, but the future is still up in the air. So we're just gonna...go with it and see what happens.
After work last night, I crashed at his place, since it's close by. He did stay at my place on Friday night, so I guess I'm gonna let that situation slide...for now. He even bought cereal and milk! Just for me!! Because I was teasing him about never having any food at his place, and he knows how much I love breakfast. :)
This morning, he had to get up around 10 and go to band practice, but instead of waking me, he kissed the exposed side of my neck and told me to stay and sleep as long as I wanted. So when I finally got up this afternoon, I did a little cleaning up around his place for him. :) He literally just got home and found it a minute ago. Haha. After his band practice, he went over to a friends place to watch the Superbowl so I told him he'd find some surprises when he got home. I'll paste...
Brazil: Harry Potter takeover on my laptop?? Lol.
I put a HP desktop background on his computer. Hehehe...
Me: Hahaha congratulations! You found surprise number 1!
Brazil: Ha!! My table is cleaned! :D
He literally had the most cluttered kitchen table I've ever seen in my life! It took me like an hour just to go through all the crap he had!!
Brazil: Temper Trap? Lol.
I downloaded their Conditions album and added it to his iTunes. Then I proceeded to listen to it while I did his dishes. Lol.
Brazil: Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :) ;)
Me: Lol yessss...there's just one more.
Brazil: DISHES!!! :D
Me: DINGDINGDINGDING!!! Lol, that's all of them, unless you want to count my subway sandwich that I forgot in your fridge. :(
Brazil: Thanks for doing that, it would have probably taken me ages to touch that table
Me: Lol I've never seen so many pill bottles in my life. Or unopened mail!! I left the trash in those bags on the chair, just in case you wanna look through them and check I didn't throw out anything you need.
Brazil: :P K, thanks, I'll go through it!
So clearly he needs to do some organizing. But I'm finding that sometimes, I like having someone to take care of. :)
Me: I've been thinking about everything you said. And I'm kind of...scared to keep doing what we're doing. I mean I understand what you're going through, almost all too well, which is why it makes me really nervous that you still have feelings for your ex. I can't compete with that, and I don't want to. I have to protect myself too, and I don't want to become attached to someone who is emotionally unavailable. I just don't want to be in a situation like that again, it never ends well for me. I'm not saying I don't want to keep seeing you, because I do, but I just feel like you should know where I'm at right now.
Then several minutes went by and I started to second guess myself saying that to him, and agonizing over what he must be thinking, and I started to feel like a real asshole. So I just curled up in bed and laid there for a while. Finally, he responded...
(Keep in mind he's foreign, so sometimes his diction is a little...different. Lol.)
Brazil: I mean it's fair enough. I would not say I'm emotionally unavailable, but I'm recovering from something, and I'm playing it very safe cause the last thing I want is the same thing to happen again. The feelings I have towards Stephanie are hate, and anger, they're not pretty. I just need time so it will all wash away. I'd love to keep seeing you, cause I enjoy being around you more with everytime we meet. I also understand you have to protect yourself. Anyway, I'm here and I'm willing.
Me: Willing to what?
Brazil: To see you, and give this a try. All I ask is for us to take our time, that's all. As I said, I'll always be honest, just like I was this morning.
Me: I understand playing it safe, I don't have any problems with you or the way you're handling things. It's just my past experiences have shaped me as well, and I've learned it's generally not a good idea to get involved with someone fresh out of a relationship because there's too much hurt/frustration/residual feelings that can often lead to ups and downs and back and forths, and that's like...torture for me. I don't want to sit around wondering if the ex is just going to pop up out of nowhere and reenter the picture. It's happened to me before.
I appreciate you being honest with me, it's one of the things I really like about you, but it still puts me on my guard. I can't help it.
Brazil: I understand, even though it might not be beneficial for me, I won't lie cause I don't want to hurt anyone. But as I said, if I wanted to be with her now, I could. I don't think it's gonna happen. I'd rather have you respect me now, even though you might not want to see me as often, or as much as we were. It's not what I want, but I respect your position.
Me: I still want to hang out with you, I just think we should be more...normal.
Brazil: Lol ok. Cause we too weird, right? Haha I'll be home all afternoon as I said, and if you want to come by, the offer still stands.
After that I went on to explain that I just want us to spend more time getting to know each other outside of "My place or your place?" situations and we both basically came to the conclusion that we want the same things right now, but the future is still up in the air. So we're just gonna...go with it and see what happens.
After work last night, I crashed at his place, since it's close by. He did stay at my place on Friday night, so I guess I'm gonna let that situation slide...for now. He even bought cereal and milk! Just for me!! Because I was teasing him about never having any food at his place, and he knows how much I love breakfast. :)
This morning, he had to get up around 10 and go to band practice, but instead of waking me, he kissed the exposed side of my neck and told me to stay and sleep as long as I wanted. So when I finally got up this afternoon, I did a little cleaning up around his place for him. :) He literally just got home and found it a minute ago. Haha. After his band practice, he went over to a friends place to watch the Superbowl so I told him he'd find some surprises when he got home. I'll paste...
Brazil: Harry Potter takeover on my laptop?? Lol.
I put a HP desktop background on his computer. Hehehe...
Me: Hahaha congratulations! You found surprise number 1!
Brazil: Ha!! My table is cleaned! :D
He literally had the most cluttered kitchen table I've ever seen in my life! It took me like an hour just to go through all the crap he had!!
Brazil: Temper Trap? Lol.
I downloaded their Conditions album and added it to his iTunes. Then I proceeded to listen to it while I did his dishes. Lol.
Brazil: Thanks a lot!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :) ;)
Me: Lol yessss...there's just one more.
Brazil: DISHES!!! :D
Me: DINGDINGDINGDING!!! Lol, that's all of them, unless you want to count my subway sandwich that I forgot in your fridge. :(
Brazil: Thanks for doing that, it would have probably taken me ages to touch that table
Me: Lol I've never seen so many pill bottles in my life. Or unopened mail!! I left the trash in those bags on the chair, just in case you wanna look through them and check I didn't throw out anything you need.
Brazil: :P K, thanks, I'll go through it!
So clearly he needs to do some organizing. But I'm finding that sometimes, I like having someone to take care of. :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Brazil's Got Baggage
In my practically post-coitus bliss Monday morning, I forgot to mention a few things regarding Brazil...
He finally came clean to me about his ex. His very recent ex... Apparently everything was copasetic until got a job promotion at the bank she works at. That was about a month ago. Then suddenly started "freaking out" and being a total bitch to him. Then on top of that, one of Brazil's friends committed suicide and she told him he was making too much of a big deal out of it. [WTF?!?] So they had a blowout and she ended things. According to him, this happened in the same week that we met. So obviously not a lot of time in between... And when he was here, he told me he was really dreading having to go over to her house the next day and pick up his stuff. He said he's not over it yet; that he's still angry with her for the way she treated him. And I mean I can totally understand that but...it's not something I wanna have to deal with either way.
So Monday night while I was at work (it was totally dead) he sent me a facebook message and I asked him about it. Here's our conversation...
Me: So how was it today?
Brazil: tough
Me: That sucks. I'm sorry.
Brazil: its cool, its just gonna take time to get over all of it
Me: Was she at least nice to you?
Brazil: yeah, she regrets it...putting pressure on me and stuff, i kinda dont wanna talk about it if you dont mind.
Me: np
Brazil: im sorry about bothering you with my baggage, its been too recent
Me: you're not bothering me. i'll let you know if you do. you know me, i don't put up with a lot of bullshit ;) and everyone has baggage.
Brazil: i get that, and as i promised i'll always be honest with you
Me: good to know
Brazil: I had a good time last night :)
Me: me too
So that pretty much sums up our conversation on that topic. I just hope he doesn't still have feelings for her, or loose ends that he hasn't tied up concerning their relationship. Because I don't want to be his rebound, and I don't want to get in the middle of any drama. ((Sigh)) Should I be concerned?
I mean I understand where he's coming from, it's just....scary.
He finally came clean to me about his ex. His very recent ex... Apparently everything was copasetic until got a job promotion at the bank she works at. That was about a month ago. Then suddenly started "freaking out" and being a total bitch to him. Then on top of that, one of Brazil's friends committed suicide and she told him he was making too much of a big deal out of it. [WTF?!?] So they had a blowout and she ended things. According to him, this happened in the same week that we met. So obviously not a lot of time in between... And when he was here, he told me he was really dreading having to go over to her house the next day and pick up his stuff. He said he's not over it yet; that he's still angry with her for the way she treated him. And I mean I can totally understand that but...it's not something I wanna have to deal with either way.
So Monday night while I was at work (it was totally dead) he sent me a facebook message and I asked him about it. Here's our conversation...
Me: So how was it today?
Brazil: tough
Me: That sucks. I'm sorry.
Brazil: its cool, its just gonna take time to get over all of it
Me: Was she at least nice to you?
Brazil: yeah, she regrets it...putting pressure on me and stuff, i kinda dont wanna talk about it if you dont mind.
Me: np
Brazil: im sorry about bothering you with my baggage, its been too recent
Me: you're not bothering me. i'll let you know if you do. you know me, i don't put up with a lot of bullshit ;) and everyone has baggage.
Brazil: i get that, and as i promised i'll always be honest with you
i always tell people, I'd rather have someone hating me once for being honest, than hating me forever for being a liar. I just need to go slow, thats all
Me: good to know
Brazil: I had a good time last night :)
Me: me too
So that pretty much sums up our conversation on that topic. I just hope he doesn't still have feelings for her, or loose ends that he hasn't tied up concerning their relationship. Because I don't want to be his rebound, and I don't want to get in the middle of any drama. ((Sigh)) Should I be concerned?
I mean I understand where he's coming from, it's just....scary.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)