Caught Up In A Book

I know I haven't written in a while, but it's because I'm reading The Pillars of the Earth and I CANNOT put it down! It's so good!!

Anyways, I finally talked to Todd. Monday night I noticed on his FB page that he and Andrew are throwing their party this weekend, and my feelings were really hurt that he didn't invite me. But then again...I did tell him that I didn't wanna talk to him for a while, so I figured it was my own fault. And I decided to call him.
He answered the phone on the first ring. He was in the car with Andrew. We chatted for a bit, but I still felt kind of awkward. He did invite me to the party, but obviously, at such late notice there was no way I would be able to get off work at the bar. I wouldn't have gone anyways, it's just...still a little weird for me. Mostly I just feel discredited, and like he thinks I'm crazy or something. Melissa has told me so many things that Jayme has said about me, like that I told her I was going to "murder her in her sleep" for dating Todd, etc etc... So I'm sure she repeated those things to Todd, and I dunno... I just feel like when it comes to Jayme, Todd is completely deaf to everything I say. Our conversation was short, and unfulfilling, and I got off the phone with him still feeling sad, and empty about our relationship. He's going to be home for Easter though, so I'm hoping we can talk and hang out and maybe things can start getting back to normal.

I just got a text message from Brandon. What. Thefuck.

Oh. He just wanted to know if I'm working tonight because he has my Christmas present from Summer. Yea, that's how long it's been since Summer and I have hung out! I miss her. I can't wait till it gets warm again and we can start going out on Mark's boat on Sundays! I hope we do anyway. He has a "serious" girlfriend now, and I'm not sure how she will feel about all us girls coming along on their weekend expeditions to the lake. But we'll see...

There are a couple things I would like to mention about Brandon, since we're sort of on the subject. The last 2 weeks at work have been weird. Not as far as I'm concerned, because it's gotten to the point where I can really be nice to Brandon now. I'm not mad at him anymore, and I don't feel the need to be hostile or defensive. It's all faded away, finally. Which is nice. And I think because of that, he feels like he doesn't know how to act around me?? I'm not sure. But 2 people have said some strange things to me in the past couple of weeks.

1) Greg made a comment 2 weeks ago, while he and I were doing inventory. I was talking about saving the elephants (they are endangered and there are only enough of them left on the planet to fill 1/3 of a football stadium!!!) and Brandon said something negative, I can't even remember what. But he said it just for the sake of disagreeing with me, because that's what he always does. And I just said, "Well I think you are being negative, and I don't like it", in a jokingly haughty tone. And Greg said, "You two stop flirting so we can finish inventory!"
And I was so shocked, and taken aback by his comment that I was speechless! Literally. Speechless. So I continued calling bottles out to him without another word.
Then later that same night, I was telling Greg about how Nick, my creepy neighbor, was stalking me, and I laughingly pleaded him to come home with me and pretend to be my boyfriend. Brandon was standing nearby, but he wasn't part of our conversation, and I didn't even think he was listening, but he said something unintelligible to Greg, and then Greg said something unintelligible back, but I heard my name.

"What did you say??" I asked Greg.

"Oh, nothing! I'm not going to repeat it or I might get my ass kicked!" He said.

"WHAT?? Tell me what you said!" I protested, but he wouldn't.

Then, finally, when Brandon left the room, he told me that he said, "Well if you wanna go home with Peyton, I'll cover for you."

And I was like, "WHY would you say that???" But he just shook his head, shrugged and smiled.

????

2) One of our kind of new girls (not so new anymore, but still new to me), her name is Amelia, who I actually really like, made a comment last week, that Brandon still flirts with me all the time. And I argued that he doesn't, but she just smiled and raised her eyebrows at me, and insisted that he does.

But I don't know. I'm still sticking by my theory that he just doesn't know how to act around me anymore. But the idea that he might someday realize what he threw away, and beg me to take him back, is still somewhat thrilling. I know I don't want to be with him, and it would never work out between us, but there are still residual feelings there, lying dormant, deep inside of me somewhere. Because even now, my heart is still racing after seeing his name pop up unexpectedly on my phone. ((sigh))

I wish he didn't have that power over me. I don't even know why he does. It's just like, every time I see him, I'm so aware of him, it drives me crazy!

Anyways, I'm officially calling it quits with Tennis Shoes Dave. I'm just not attracted to him, and I just can't make myself be attracted to him. I'm tired of wasting my time with guys I'm not really that into. He's nice and all but...the chemistry's just not there. And I'm so busy, all I wanna do is have fun and be single when I have spare time.
Ali and I have been hanging out a lot lately, because she just got dumped, and she's been really depressed. So she's been calling me and texting me every day, and we went to the movies on Tuesday. Last Sunday, Taryn and I did a little bit of Sunday Funday. I miss that! Being able to go out all day Sundays, and have fun with my girlfriends. So now, me, Ali, Taryn, and technically Bethany (but not really, cuz she's been seeing Ben's cousin, unofficially) are all single!
Alli and I are gonna hang out this Sunday, so Taryn will probably come too.

And next Saturday, I got the night off! Jenna and I are supposed to hang out, and Todd's gonna be in town, but I haven't decided if I'm gonna invite him out with us yet. I'm sure Jenna will be against that.

But right now I feel like things are really looking up. This morning, me, Veronica and Dana (my officemates) had a meeting with the head honcho boss lady about our projects. We were all really nervous about it, cuz she asks a lot of hard hitting, randomb, obscure questions, that almost no one knows the answers to off the top of their head, but it went surprisingly well! And she thanked us, and told us we were really helpful. So things at work have been good.
And I am really, completely, actually and totally no strings attached. To anyone!

And I feel so carefree! Tonight is going to be a good night at work. I can tell, cuz I'm in such a good mood!

Thanks, But No Thanks

So I ended up typing out a note, on my computer, in really large letters, and clipping it to my door.

Nick-

Thanks, but no thanks.
I am seeing someone.
Please stop leaving me notes.

P.S. My name isn't Pam.

So I'm pretty sure he got the hint. I left the note there for 2 days, and I finally took it down this morning. And, I haven't gotten any more notes! YAYY!! So hopefully, that's the end of that, and he'll stop lurking around my courtyard.

Well I hope everyone had a fun and safe St. Patrick's Day. I, myself, stayed home and went to bed early. I'm just not really into St. Pat's. I mean, in the past, I always had to bartend, and put up with all the drunken idiots. And now that I don't have to bartend, I still can't do anything, since I have to get up early in the morning. Plus, me and Mary, and my 2 new officemates, Veronica and Dana, are going out for drinks after work today. So I figured 2 days in a row might not be a good idea.
So yesterday, I stayed home, watched a movie with Jasper, and worked on my new photography website. The designing part is finished, and looks awesome, I just need to add more photos to it.
And while I was laying in bed yesterday, I got a text from Law School, asking if I was out. I told him no, I wasn't feeling great so I stayed home. Which is true, cuz I woke up with a sore throat on Tuesday morning. I think I kicked that already though, with vitamins and Emergen-C packets. Thank God! But it has been a while since I've heard from Law School. He left a message on my Facebook yesterday too. Some stupid corny joke. Lol. I still have a birthday card for him from a month ago! Maybe I'll give him a call tonight and stop by and give it to him.

So I'm not sure if I mentioned before, that I moved into a new office, with Veronica and Dana. At first I really didn't wanna move, cuz I really liked sitting by Mary, and I was in a cubicle that had PRIVACY. Mary wasn't thrilled about me leaving either. Lol. But now I'm ok with it I guess. I mean, I share this office with Dana and Veronica, but we all face away from each other, and pretty much mind our own business. But I like that I have an actual desk with drawers! So I hung up some of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes comics, along with some photos. And now I can keep my books and purse in a drawer. So even though I don't get as much privacy, and I see my boss a lot more than I used to, it's not so bad being in here.

Dave and I were supposed to go motorcycle riding this weekend. But he was going to rent one, and there are no rentals left in Houston! :( He had a bike when he first moved here, but he sold it cuz he said it was so hot that summer, and now he regrets it. We've been having a lot of nice weather lately! So he said he's gonna get another bike soon. And I do think it's really awesome that he rides. I LOOOOOOVE riding motorcycles. That's the one thing I miss about Daniel. Haha. Last I heard though, he sold his Ducati, and got something else. LAME. But whatever. Dave and I can't go regardless. Maybe next weekend.

Things with all my friends are getting better. Bethany and I are good, Melissa and I are good, and Alyssa and I are the road to being good. We still haven't really hung out or had a chance to talk, but now that she's working back at the bar again, I see her more, so we get to goof off and chit chat during our shifts. She texted me asking me if I was doing anything last night too. Maybe she and I can get together this weekend since Dave and I can't go riding. She has a bridal shower coming up too. I better go check my calendar and find out when it is. I still need to get her something!

Dave just texted me that he is renting a bike for the weekend! Yay!! I wonder where he got it from?? I guess our plans are still on then. I hope he has helmets...

Resolutions

Well everything ended up working out fine with my bartending job. Here is my final draft that I sent to Mr. S. and Mr. P.:

I'm sending this email to you guys so that I can discuss something that may or may not have gone unnoticed. I enjoy working at [my bar] and believe that for the most part you guys take care of us and watch out for us in good intentions. However, I have requested not to work on Sundays because Sundays are my only day off to RELAX and do things that I really need take care of, that I'm not able to do during the week. However, I am scheduled for this Sunday at 2. I do realize that there are 2 specific games this weekend that will contribute to a busier than normal Sunday, and I will work, and not complain. I just hope that when scheduling was done, it was taken into account that some of us do work Monday morning and will need to be out at an earlier time prior to the games being completed.
Secondly, I would like to bring to your attention the fact that I would really like the opportunity to pick up a shift or 2 at one of the other bars. Mr. S., I have tried asking you about this several times, but you're always too busy, or I get brushed off, or completely ignored. Am I being punished for something?? Because it's starting to feel that way. I mean, look at the facts: Ali, Aaron, Brandon, Sierra and Taryn ALL pick up shifts at the other bars. And 2 of those people haven't even been working for this company as long as I have. I just don't get it. Maybe this has just never occurred to you before, so I'm bringing it to your attention. I mean, I work hard, I'm always on time, I don't no call/no show, which is more than I can say for a lot of people that are currently working at [-]. I understand that business is not as busy as in previous years, however I'm now back to getting 10pm shifts every Saturday. I know I have a day job now, but so do Ali and Aaron. And their shifts don't seem to be suffering.
I mean, obviously I want to work at [-], and I enjoy it; you all are like my second family. If that was not the case, I would have quit when I started this new job. And I don't know if you guys realized this, but I'm looking at working 65 hours this week, with NO day off.

Anyways, my whole point to this email is, I just kind of feel like I've been swept under the rug. And I just don't want to be filed away with those who are new and incapable. So if somebody could please give me some answers, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks,

Peyton

Mr. P. wrote back almost immediately, and his response was exactly what I was hoping for. Here it is:


When you left those couple months, you lost all seniority! You are now bottom of the barrel, and we will continue to treat you like garbage, since you now work for [insert new job here]. Haha. I am of course kidding. Yes I will move you around on occasion. Kind of just forgot about it. The 10pm's are because we know you have a day job, and figured you wanted to keep this part-time, so the less hours the better. Thanks for working this Sunday, we need everyone, and don't worry, we will get the day job people out as soon as possible.

Anything Else Harry Potter?**

Thanks,
Mr. P

**Harry Potter is one of the many nicknames Mr. P. has given me. Lol. I don't think an explanation is necessary.
Anyways, he and I bantered back and forth via email for a while, but I'm glad I brought that to his attention, because next Saturday, I'm working at the Washington bar! Yay! Finally! It'll be a nice change of scenery! I just need to go over there sometime this week and familiarize myself with their computer system.

As for my day job, it's been reallllly busy! We have all these new projects to work on. And by we, I mean Veronica and I. So at least I have someone to help me! And just to clarify, I do my job here, and I do it well. I don't fuck around all day. It just seems that I manage my time a lot better than my boss does. He's inexperienced in his current position. I mean he's nice and everything he's just kind of...vague. I mean Veronica has only been here a couple weeks and she's already noticing it! He assigns us tasks, but doesn't fully explain what it is he wants done! So half the time we're just like....uhhhh...??? You know?? So when I made that comment in my last post about him asking me where were on a project, the reason I couldn't give him an adequate answer is because never told us we had to do anything else! He asked us to make a spreadsheet, we made it, then he never said anything else about it! So me and Veronica thought that was it!
Anyways, just thought I'd clarify.

And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for...
The Superbowl.
Not sure sure if I'm going yet, but I'm going to call Todd on my way home from work. I don't wanna count my chickens before they hatch, but things are looking up!! :D
That's all I can say for now.

As for Law School, I don't think I'm gonna take him if I do go. He's just too...wishy washy. I mean if he really wanted to go, he'd be all over it. And he's not. He's just...I dunno. I think I'm gonna take my Dad. Maybe. I mean I know he'd love to go, it's just....I'm gonna be partying, and staying out till all hours of the night, and what if I meet a guy or something??
So with all that going on, I don't wanna be sharing a hotel room with my DAD. And I can't really afford to get one by myself. There's still the option of staying with Reese and her boyfriend. But she hasn't said anything to me about it since that weekend, and I feel kind of awkward asking. I mean cuz I don't know her that well. But we'll see...

Well that's all I have time for today. Back to work!

Just Can't Wait!

Ok, first of all, I did not make up this whole thing with my dog just so I could get close to Brandon again. That's fucking ridiculous. And I did finally talk to him, and he agreed to do it, and we had a 5 minute conversation, which ended on a good note. He's going to stop acting like an asshole and being so weird around me at work!
So that's the end of that. And I haven't really talked to him since. He did text me once, asking me to send him a picture of Jasper, and I did. The end.
So tonight, Melissa and I are leaving to go to Todd's game. I'm so excited!!! I really need this weekend away. The beginning of my week started out pretty horrible. On Tuesday, some guy hit my car AS I WAS TURNING INTO WORK!! Ugh... But it was his fault, so he has to pay for it. It sucks though, cuz I had to get a shitty rental car. Good thing Melissa's driving tonight, and not me! The other good news is, I ordered Todd's jersey online this past Sunday, and I was just hoping against hope that it would get here in time. And I just checked the tracking online, and the package got to Houston this morning!! So it looks like I'll be sporting Todd's number at the game tomorrow. WOOHOO!!
As far as guys go, at the moment, I have none. And at first, I was a little sad about it, but now, I just don't care! Gavin was recently spotted canoodling with his ex, and Law School and I haven't talked since last Thursday. So, oh well. I'm just not gonna worry about it, and I'm determined have a good time! At that shouldn't be too hard this weekend!
Work has been rather crappy lately, but Mary (the girl who sits next to me) and I have really hit it off. And I actually like the new girl too. Her name is Veronica. Us 3 girls have been gabbing it up during lunch, and sharing half gallons of ice cream. Haha. At this rate, I'm definitely gonna need to start exercising more! Oh well. My boss has kind of been pissing me off though. He always waits till the last minute when he needs to turn something in to his boss, to delegate something to me and Veronica, and when he hands me projects, he waits till like the very end of the day! And then he expects me to finish them before I leave!!! It's sooooooo annoying!
Today, Veronica and I were frantically working on this spreadsheet, which required lots of research, data collection, and cross referencing, while he stood over us, telling us to hurry. But he only gave us one hour to do it!! And I knew it was because he was supposed to turn it in to Sara at 10am. So then he just hands off our work to her, and says it's his. Ugh. Is that really the way bosses are supposed to be?? That just doesn't seem right, or fair. I mean, I know delegation is a major part of their job, but they could at least give us these assignments in a timely manner. ((Sigh)) Anyways, my lunch break is almost over, so I better get back to work.
I really can't wait for tomorrow!!!

Stupid Sh*t

Todd is home! YAYY! Our families are going out to dinner tonight, for my Dad's birthday. It's gonna be so much fun! Family, friends, and Italian food! MMMMMM...
Lately it's like, I get so excited at the thought of even getting to talk to Todd. And some may speculate it's because he's suddenly pseudo famous, but really it's just because I have a huge crush on him, and he's so busy all the time now and he lives so far away that I never get to talk to him, let alone see him. Todd and I used to see each other all the time! Even when he was away at school. So I'm really looking forward to tonight. And I'm gonna ask him if he's planning to marry Laura. I mean, rumor has it that she was hoping for a ring this Christmas, but she obviously didn't get one. And I'm thinking, if he hasn't asked her by now, I don't think he's going to! I mean, it's not like Todd doesn't have the means to support her! And they've been together for a long time. I just, honestly, all feelings for him set aside, I don't think they're meant to be together. She just has too much baggage, and emotional issues, and Todd is just so...simple and nice and logical and...drama free! SO not like Laura. But I'm gonna ask him. And I know he'll be honest with me, I'm his best friend!
Anyway, we hired a new girl at work this week, who supposedly I am going to be "working closely with". She seems nice. But I noticed that she's young and pretty, and that's got me wondering if my boss only hires young, pretty girls. Cuz there's really not an abundant supply of them around here right now. But I think I'm the first person he hired. He hasn't been in his position very long.
Well maybe she'll turn out to be really cool, and we can be friends. She actually lives on my side of town! Unlike everyone else in the office. My commute is about 45 minutes a day. Ugh...

I've been so tired at work in the mornings the past couple of days. I think it's because I got used to staying up late and sleeping in after my 4 day weekend. Plus, the project I'm currently working on has me uploading stuff that takes forever! So I literally just have to sit here, and wait for it to upload, and try not to fall asleep. ((Sigh))

I still haven't heard from Law School and he's been back since Sunday. Another ((Sigh)). And I haven't really heard from Gavin this week either. In fact, I've been rather lonely.

Oh! And let me just get something off my chest real quick.

Bethany.

I've been pretty pissed at her lately. Because you know, it's like I go from weeks without hearing from her at all, she doesn't return my messages, and she never thanked me for getting her free tickets to Todd's game (which I was pretty pissed about after all the stupid drama she ignited). And then suddenly, she breaks up with Tugg and "needs" me, and expects me to just...drop everything for her because I'm "supposed to be her best friend". And I'm thinking, Oh, so I'm supposed to be your best friend, but you don't have to be mine?? How is that fair??

I mean she was so quick to replace me with Summer as soon as I got a new job! Ugh... And you can really only say the same things to someone so many times. She's called me at all hours of the night, all weekend, going on and on about the same shit, and asking me what I think, and I just keep telling her the same shit! She already knows what I think! They need to just be apart. REALLY apart! At least for a month, if not permanently, which is what I think they need. But she doesn't ever listen to me, so I dunno why she asks for my advice anyway.

Oh, and she got mad at me, because I left an encouraging message on Tugg's Facebook page. She actually had the audacity to tell me that I shouldn't be saying nice things to him, because I'm her friend, and I'm supposed to be on her side! And I'm like, "WHAT!? That's crazy!" It's not like I went over to his house and let him cry on my shoulder or anything, it was just a stupid Facebook comment! And I asked her, if Summer broke up with Ben, would she just never speak to him again?? And of course she saw my point, but still. She's being ridiculously self-absorbed and silly. I like Tugg, regardless of their relationship status. And all she's done for the past 6 months is talk about how much she hates Tugg and can't stand him because of this and that, and how she wishes she was single, because she really likes Ben's cousin. Oh, and then there's the fact that she cheated on Tugg and slept with some guy she works with 2 months ago!! I'm just so sick of her bullshit drama! And the fact that she expects me to always be there for her, but she never seems to be there for me. Plus, she's been flirting with Todd on facebook! Everytime I leave him a comment saying "good game today" or something to that effect, she has to leave a message after me and like...one-up me or something! SO ANNOYING.

And Ali just told me that she and Tugg are trying to "date and work things out". And they went out on a date last night. OMG. If anyone can testify to how bad of an idea that is, it's me. You can't move backwards in a relationship. You can't unsay things, or undo things. And they've both said and done a lot of things to each other the last few days. And if they couldn't figure their shit out in the six years that they were together, they're sure as hell aren't going to now! Ugh...

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now, I just really needed to get that off my chest. And just so you all know, I haven't mentioned any of this to Bethany. I'm not completely insensitive, and I know she's dealing with a lot, and I'm not gonna add to it. I have tried to be there for her, and I've comforted her, and encouraged her, and all that crap. But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

Ali's birthday party is this Sunday evening and both of them are going to be there, and I just have this really bad feeling that there's gonna be drama, and the night will end up being all about Bethany and Tugg, instead of Ali. And it's her birthday!

Man, I need a stiff drink. This is the longest day ever!! I can't wait till dinner tonight. I'm sure Todd would love to hear all about my Bethany drama. Haha, jk.