Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Getting Readjusted

Ok, so I've talked to some of my friends, and I've been reading all your comments, and you're right. I'm being...over critical and paranoid. It's just...hard for me. Because I feel like, we're back right where we used to be! ((Sigh)) I mean, working together. Except the dynamic has changed, and it's just...weird. I'm not used to it.
And he really has been strangely distant the past couple days. But finally today, I feel like he's...starting to get over it. I mean, two and half days of not talking at all, I was starting to wonder.
So I sent him a text around 6:30 that just said, "Hey, you wanna hang out tonight?"
About 15 minutes later, he finally responded.
"I can't, I have to work."
"Ok. Have a good night then." I said.
I figured, better to keep it short and sweet, and not act...disappointed. So I went to my piano lesson, and did a few things.
Then I sent him another text.
"Are you doing sound for the game?"
"Well what are you gonna do when you get off?"
"Go home."
"Well why don't you come over?"
"I don't wanna be out late. I have a lot of things to do tomorrow morning before I have to play golf in the afternoon."
"Fine." I replied.
I took a chance, put myself out there, invited him over, and he shot me down. He's pushing me away again! I almost said something else but I figured, what's the point? Sometimes he just gets in these unresponsive moods, and there's just no talking to him. So I decided to just give him space.
"Sorry." He replied.
I didn't respond.
A few minutes later, he texted me again.
"How was your day today?"
Finally, we're getting somewhere!
I waited a while before I wrote back. And I made sure to make my day seem great.
We had a short chat via text after that. So I guess the situation isn't completely hopeless.

My dad finally came over to fix my car this evening. And after he replaced the alternator, which took like....2 hours, he figured out that wasn't even the problem! Ugh... I need a new air conditioning fan. That's what was making all the weird noises. So he disconnected it for now, and he has to order me a new one. ((Sigh)) At least the weather is nice!

I'm crossing my fingers that I hear from Brandon tomorrow. Wednesday would have been our one year anniversary. And I was really hoping we'd be able to do something together that night. Even though he probably doesn't know it's our would-be one year anniversary. :/ But he has to work Wednesday night. And Wednesday is also my mom's birthday, so I'm just gonna go over to my parent's house. Well, I'm gonna put on my PJ's and watch some Cold Case. Wish me luck with Brandon! I'm definitely gonna need it.


Anonymous said...

Even if you are a little paranoid right now, I think it's understandable. Hopefully things keep going well and eventually you will just trust him again. Takes time I guess.

Anonymous said...

By texting him first, and then when he doesn't respond, or doesn't give you the answer that you want you seem like you paw at him like a puppy, and then when he doesn't do or act or say what you want you sulk inside. Then you feel that you need to play a game with him to get his attention. Just let it go, stop thinking about it constantly. After he said no he didn't want to hang out with you, you should have just dropped it. Instead however you sent him another text, and then asked why he wouldn't come over, and then got sulky about that. You know that he gets in these moods, you KNOW he had issues with you being a clingy little puppy before, but you're jumping right back into that dynamic. It's pathetic and from the sounds of it he thinks that it is as well. Why not let him chase you for a change?

Anonymous said...

Did you ever notice how your blog and that of the "Bedroom Blog" kind of paralell each other? I mean as soon as you start getting back together with Brandon, the Bedroom blog starts working on her relationship with her Brandon, and then she goes to visit Texas, which is where you are from, and both your mother and the fictional bloggers mother had cancer at the same time. I mean other than the fact that she is successful and you're just a waitress there are some really weird similarities

Peyton said...

OK, Anonymous Number 1:
I have already addressed the similarities between my blog and K's several times. And guess what!? SHE'S FUCKING FICTIONAL!!! So I don't know where Jessica Hewlett is getting her material from, but I get mine from REAL LIFE!! I don't make this shit up!
And secondly, it's rather harsh of you to say that a fictional character is more successful than I am, considering SHE'S NOT REAL!!! And guess what, if I were fictional, I'd probably have my dream job too!
I have a degree from a reputable university, I have my own photography business, and I BARTEND, not waitress, to pay my bills. I don't plan on doing that forever. But NEWS FLASH!!! THE ECONOMY SUCKS!!! What do YOU do for a living??? Oh wait, that's right, you clearly have no room to talk, or else you wouldn't be posting anonymously.

Autumn said...

It's not just Brandon that needs to make a change. Don't get me wrong, he has LOTS to work on, but there are changes you need to make too, if you want to work this thing out. Both of you made mistakes in the relationship and both of you need to fix them. He is right about not wanting to socialize too much while working, but he does have a history of pushing you away. HOWEVER you have a history of chasing after him, and making yourself too accessible. The puppy analogy might seem a bit harsh that anon used, but I think it is kind of fitting. Brandon WANTS to do the chasing, he WANTS a little mystery, to have to work for it. It is YOUR job to MAKE him work for it. You need to distance yourself (not only to protect your heart) but to make him want you more. The trick is to not make this into a game, though. Make it so that it is genuine.

Just relax. Give him space. Focus on YOU. I hope it works out for you!

Ginny said...

I know I've said dump brandon, and I FIRMLY stick to it that you should move on from him, he is a sorry excuse for a bf... but that being said... (and I dont beelieve in playing games but to get his attention it seems like you have to play hard to get. The more available you are, the less interested he is. It is a cycle thats there, go back and read all you blogs about him and the pattern is there! The minute you say you love him, you want him, or "put yourself out there" he regects that, and the minute you break up, and you start to ignore him, he comes crawling back. SO if you really want him, you apparently have to play games (but personally I think thats a waste of time, and if someone truly loves you, after one year, these games shouldnt be there)

Tarilyn said...

Ouch! Just a waitress? She's not even a waitress, she's a bartender, and like Peyton said, if she was fictional then she would have her dream job too.

Peyton, ignore the rude anonymous comments. That person is probably just choked because bedroom blog has issues, and never updates. You actually answer your comments, where anon probably doesn't get any response from bedroom blog.

I do think you should let Brandon chase you a little. I once went out with a guy who was kinda like Brandon, and I was always chasing him. Once I stopped being available for him all the time, and didn't call him back right away, it freaked him out a bit, and suddenly he was the one chasing me. Let him work for it!

Take care, and keep blogging!