Friday, October 2, 2009

Can't Move Forward

I saw him last night. I went home, and I cried. It was pouring down rain. REalllly hard. Then he texted me. Said it was "good to see me" even though I "want nothing to do with him".
We ended up talking on the phone. Till like 6:30am. He said he wants to be friends. And that he still cares about me. He told me he's sorry for everything he said to me that hurt my feelings. Oh, and he's fucking some new girl. And he doesn't want to get back together. He made sure to tell me that wasn't the purpose of his phone call.
I cried myself to sleep. Woke up around 2pm. Cried some more. Went back to sleep. I finally got up at 7pm. Figure I should start getting ready for work soon. I don't wanna be around anyone. I don't wanna talk to anyone. I don't wanna see anyone. I just wanna stay in bed. Forever.

1 comment:

RusticPoison said...

I know what you mean. MY Ex and I were together for almost 2 1/2 years, and then out of the blue, he dumped me-- via instant message! Ya, that's a big burn to get over. I still find myself randomly thinking about him, him popping up in daydreams where I'm dating other guys (he broke up with me back in March, ten days before I was to come home for spring break from college). Found out in may, while recovering from gallbladder surgery that he was back with the girl he had been dating right before me this last time (we had dated twice in high school. slightly pathetic on my part, i know, but he was my first love:/ ) It's not easy, but it doesn't hurt as much anymore. The problem is we have the same core group of friends, So we're bound to run into each other at some point. I'm not looking forward to it at all, seeing as the last time I saw him was shortly after my surgery, when I gave him back a trashbag full of the "gifts" he had given me, all representing lies. I know, I've partially succumbed to the bitter side, but that's why I'm taking a dating hiatus to figure out what I truly want in a man, and to get over him as close to completely as I can get.