Monday, January 14, 2008

A Game Of Charades

Wow, I honestly was not expecting much of a response to my little rant, but clearly I was wrong! Haha. It was definitely fun reading all your comments.
Just so you all know, I don't hate my job. Far from it in fact! I love my job! I love my coworkers, my managers and owners, and yes, even my customers. Most of them are great, and I have a lot of regulars. There's just like that 10% of uneducated people that really drive me nuts. And since I can't be rude to them, I figured I'd vent a little on here. And also, the managers/owners at my bar are not a group of money-loving, selfish, uncaring bastards. They genuinely care about everyone who works for them. Which is what makes it so great to work there! We have employee outings, and parties, and we all hang out together. We really take care of our own, ya know?
I don't expect those of you who have never worked in the industry to understand the frustrations we bartenders put up with on a daily basis, but... For those of you who do know, I'm sure you get my drift.
So no, I don't want to quit. Lol.
In other news, my kitty finally returned!! She ran away about a month ago, and my mom and I were devastated. We've been leaving food out for her almost every night, and she was eating it! But finally today, she just walked up to my mom and started rubbing on her leg! So we just picked her up and brought her inside. She has a big oozing sore on her neck from her collar though. It somehow got twisted around her right front leg. But it doesn't seem to be bothering her now, so hopefully she'll be fine. I'm gonna take her to the vet this week.

Last night, Andrew and I messaged for a while on myspace. I'll paste.

Andrew: i was gonna try to hang out with you 2night...
me: well why don't you CALL me??
Andrew: everybody is asleep at my house because school starts tomorrow. and i don't have a phone so i can't call you......i can't wait till i get my phone turned on...i'm sorry...i really wanted to see you...
me: *Sigh*...it's always the same story with you isn't it? How bout you give me a call when you have a phone.
Andrew: stop...i'm getting that shit (car and phone) all this week. finally making good money from my company. and we'll hang out all of the time...
me: i'm sorry. it's just been a long, shitty day and i'm getting to the point where i'm really losing my patience with people!! that, coupled with the fact that you make me...nervous, and things being what they are, and going the way they are going...i'm just getting frustrated.
Andrew: nervous in what kind of way?
me: well...in a number of ways. first of all, because i don't seem to have any problem telling you exactly what i'm feeling, which is...good and bad i guess. bad because that usually either pisses guys off, or freaks them out. and lately, what i've been feeling is mostly annoyance. lol. because you can't seem to get your...shit, or whatever, together! secondly, because everytime these occurrences happen, i kick myself in the ass for even entertaining these ideas! because you're young, and i'm pretty sure we don't want the same things. so i keep second-guessing myself because of that. and it's hard to act on your immediate feelings when you're constantly second guessing yourself. here's the thing Andrew, i'm not going to waste my time with someone who isn't going to make an effort. if you WANT to spend time with me, that's cool, but you have to make an effort. don't make me wait around, or whatever. because i've put up with a lot of that shit in the past and i think it's really honed my...i don't wanna say standards, but basically there's a lot less shit that i'll put up with these days than i would have in the past. does that make any sense to you?? or am i way out in left field?
Andrew: haha...nah, we're on the same page babe. our wants are the same, i think you are bad ass, and sexy as hell! i really don't mean to stand you up, i mean, i'm definitely into you, and i'm finally getting shit together... and i'll be focused on "trying for a relationship", and you definitely seem like a bad ass chick, not saying that's what you were shooting for with me, but i definitely see you as having that potential. i'm finally getting over all of the unexpected crazy stuff that went down recently. ((his step mom died on Christmas, so sad!!)) but i'm excited about my company, and ready to get my shit together..lol. i completely understand why your standards are high, and a girl like you should def keep them high. don't get mad.....and you're not gonna freak me out. i've known you for a long time. we'll start hanging out, and whatever happens..happens.. i mean i def wouldn't wanna lose a friendship..

So...I'm not really sure what to do. He seems to know exactly what to say, but I dunno if it's genuine or not. And how the hell does he know what I want?? I mean, I do want a boyfriend, but that's not what I'm looking for in him. And I can't tell him that, because it would probably hurt his feelings! I'm just lonely. And some companionship would be nice. So I dunno. Any suggestions??

Photography class started back up tonight. It's a much bigger class than last session. And there's a guy in it, who I can already tell, is an insufferable know-it-all. Ugh. But we'll see how great he is when we show our assignments next week! HA!
I have the photoshoot with Melissa tomorrow afternoon. And then we're going to the movies. Alyssa might join us too. And next Friday, the 25th, Alyssa and I are taking Cecilia out to midtown for her very belated 21st birthday celebration! So that's gonna be fun. I've got a pretty busy rest of the month coming up!
Kitty looks so peaceful and content sleeping on my bed. I bet she's glad to be inside where it's warm instead of out battling the elements! Well that's all for today. I'll write more soon. Hopefully something exciting will happen in the near future. Haha...

Demetri Of The Day:
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack."


K said...

Ok, let me get this straight. You told him all that stuff about your "standards" and that he needs to "make an effort" if he wants to spend time with you, and you don't want him as a boyfriend????

He basically told you he likes you and wants a relationship with you (he'll be focused on "trying for a relationship"). Obviously you two are not on the same page, and my suggestion is to fix that, before you hurt him more. Yeah, he'll be hurt now when you tell him you don't see him as bf potential, but that's better than letting him take you out and spend money on you when you have no intention of getting serious with him.

You're totally leading him on. :-(

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I agree. By what you said to him I thought you wanted to be in a relationship with him.... and saw him as BF material... then at the end of your post you said that you are not on the same page and you do not see him as BF material.. you need to figure out your intentions with him .. or you will end up hurting him the way you say others have hurt you. That would NOT be cool girl.

Peyton said...

You are both right, and I shouldn't lead him on. The thing that gets me though, is that I know I would want to pursue a relationship with him if he were older. And I also don't think I'm being fair by judging him based on his age. So I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place! And I just don't know what to do!!

Anonymous said...

How much of an age difference is there Peyton?

Anonymous said...

i think that you should give him a try. You don't know what he can really give you if you dont go for it...It's not fair to judge him on his age eitherm he can really surprise you!!! :)

Just me said...


Peyton said...

He's 2 1/2 years younger than I am! :/

Anonymous said...

omg that's nothing. Get over it girlfriend!