Monday, January 14, 2008

A Bartender's Rant

Ok, today at work, I experienced several things that really just GRIND MY GEARS!!! So people, please take the time to read this, and really CONSIDER what I am about to say, because I can promise you, I speak for more than just myself.

First of all, when you are a customer at a bar, please heed the following:

1) If it's your turn to order, KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT! Don't stand there with your thumb up your ass till the bartender comes to you and asks what you want and then say, "Uhhh....uhhhh..." Because that's really annoying. And a waste of everyone's time. That includes other people in your group as well! If you're ordering for anyone other than yourself, don't go, "I need 4, uh..." and then turn around to your friends and ask what they want. Point being?? HAVE YOUR ORDER READY!

2) SPEAK CLEARLY, AND TO THE BARTENDER! Don't mumble, or cover your mouth with your hand, or say, "I want a vodka redbull and (Idiot turns around to point at who he is ordering for, while still speaking.)" I can't hear you when you're turned all the way around pointing at someone and saying, "she wants a martini." I don't care who the fuck the drinks are all for, just tell me what you need so I can get to making them!

3) NEVER WHISTLE AT US! We're not dogs, and I promise you, if you whistle to get my attention I will do one of the following: ignore you, or rip you a new asshole for being such an ignorant bastard.

4) WAIT YOUR FUCKING TURN!!! We all learned to wait in lines in grade school, right?? Apparently not. If I'm taking someone else's order, I'm not going to take yours until I'm damn ready. DON'T fucking interupt me taking someone else's order! You can just wait. Ordering a drink is not a life or death situation. So chill the fuck out. I'll get to you when I get to you.

5) DON'T WAVE YOUR HAND AT ME, DON'T WAVE A NAPKIN AT ME, DON'T YELL "MISS!" OR "MAM!" OR "HEY!"I will proceed to ignore you while you jump around like a cracked out gorilla. We do see you. We see everyone. And believe it or not, we have a system that you may not be able to detect. So when it's your turn, I WILL COME TO YOU. Again, not a life or death situation. And you look like a fucking idiot.

6) DON'T MAKE ME RUN ALL OVER THE BAR 8 TIMES, JUST TO TAKE YOUR ORDER. Know your ENTIRE order when you place it. Don't order 2 beers... Then 2 more beers... Then 3 shots. Order 4 beers, and 3 shots. We're good at our jobs, and we can remember drink orders IN THEIR ENTIRETY! And I can promise you, you'll have to wait longer the next time you come to the bar if you do this. We aren't your slaves, and we have plenty of other customers to assist besides you.

7) TIP BY THE DRINK! For example, if you order 2 vodka tonics, and 2 shots, then you should tip for the vodka, and the shot. Because that's 2 different things we had to make you, and it makes sense that we should get tipped for each. If you think that's too much, then you don't need to be going out.

8) ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND that you are not our only responsibility. We have several, not just including the other bar guests, and the waitresses. So don't call us over to you every 5 seconds. It's annoying, and we'll start to avoid you.

9) I don't think I should have to say this but...I better just in case. DON'T BE AN ASS!@! If you piss one of us off, not only will that person you pissed off not serve you, chances are, NONE OF US WILL. And you may even be asked to leave if your childish behavior reaches an inappropriate level. That means IF WE ASK YOU TO STOP DOING SOMETHING, STOP. DON'T ARGUE. DON'T BE DIFFICULT. DON'T BE A PERV. DON'T BE ANNOYING. DON'T GET AN ATTITUDE. We're just trying to do our jobs. We WANT you guys to be happy! So don't be so quick to pounce on us.

That pretty much sums it up i think...

Demetri Of The Day:
"Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal."


Anonymous said...

Hmm.. You're in the customer service business. Unfortunately I think that means you have to suck it up. Sorry buttercup.

Anonymous said...

uh....whoa!!!!!! BACK OFF BITCH!!!!

K said...

Come on guys... cut her some slack. I doubt this "rant" came up after one night... I'm sure this has been building for a long time. And just because she's ranting on her blog doesn't mean she'll actually be rude to a customer's face (unless they deserve it). I think those who say something negative about this post are probably guilty of at least one of the things she mentioned.

I have a lot of friends who are bartenders, and I always wait patiently, have my order ready and tip VERY well. Consequently, I remembered when I order again or come in on another night- bartenders remember my drink and often don't charge me for one or two, or give me and friends free shots.

Anonymous said...

Please. Everything listed in this post is just basic etiquette for clubs.

Of course, if you don't care if you come across as a social retard, then no one's forcing you to follow the rules.

Just me said...

I've been in customer service since I was 14. Yes, there are some things that you have to suck up but she's totally right in most of this post. Some customers are stupid and need to know certain things.

I think that the person who said "suck it up" is probably one of those people that always piss the people in customer service off! haha

Anonymous said...

Actually, I never give those in the service industry a hard time considering I've had part-time jobs that were just that. However, if you're not happy with the whole customer aspect of it (and yes there WILL be rude customers) then get a new job. Complaining about it won't help.

Anonymous said...

Right, I guess everyone who ever complains about their working conditions should just "get a new job". So easy!

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here laughing about A)"suck it up. Sorry buttercup (it's a little funny.. come on now... admit it) B)The instant uproar by the blog readers ("BACK OFF BITCH")C) The silliness of it all.

We all truly need to chill out. Come on people..

Anonymous said...

You realize that being apart of the service industry means that you have to comply to the customers wishes. I'm sorry to say but your bosses dont actually care about you or the customers. They just care about the amount of money that they get. So, it is therefore your job to put up with customer complaints and stupidity and make your company money. That's how capitalism works, hun.

jehara said...

most bars won't let customers treat their bartenders like crap. they are very protective of their personnel. and no matter how much a person likes her job, there are going to be aspects that can be annoying. especially customer service. it's inescapable because there are a lot of rude, inconsiderate assholes out there. and while a person working might have her game face on, she needs a place to vent. just because peyton is letting off some steam doesn't mean she is bad at her job, dislikes her job or is rude to her customers. surely everyone has had a bad day at work and needed to unload. . .

Kate said...

LOL... I'm with Peyton on this one... some people need reminders on social norms. I used to work at Baskin Robbins (I know is different than a bar) but we would have lines out the door, I would hate people that wait in line for 2 hours, then come up to the front, and then start thinking about which ice cream they want, the famous "uhhhhhhhhhhh......" and then turn around ask their family/friends, and in the meantime theyve completely held up the line. Those type of people always make the line/wait longer than it needs to be.

Everyone has aspects of their jobs they hate, its fine to rant about it. Personally, all my college jobs in customer service, there were fun aspects, but there were definitely days i need to let out steam.

Brigitte Plouffe said...

"Right, I guess everyone who ever complains about their working conditions should just "get a new job". So easy!"

this person said it best. haha.