Thursday, February 9, 2012

What Should I Expect?

Things with Brazil and I have been going very well. Almost...too well? Lol maybe I'm just being weird, but I can't help but waiting for the other shoe to drop. He says he enjoys my company more and more every time he sees me, and when I'm busy with school, which is pretty often these days, he asks, "Well when am I gonna see you?" Lol. It's sweet! Although, one of my readers, Janelle, has brought up an interesting point in the comments. It doesn't really seem like we are taking it slow, so...what are we doing? I mean he's told me a couple times that he wants to go slow, but it doesn't seem like we are, so I don't know what that means. I think I'll ask him...
Anyway, Valentine's Day is coming up ((barf!)) and it's starting to make me nervous because I don't know what or if I should expect anything? I don't mean like gifts or anything, I never expect stuff like that. But I mean I don't know if he's gonna want to hang out, or just pretend V-Day doesn't exist? I just don't know!
What I do know is that this might be the most honest "relationship" (for lack of a better word) that I've ever been in. I don't have to worry about ever walking on eggshells, or saying the wrong thing to him because he doesn't play games with me! He tells me what he wants, and what he's thinking, and I do the same. But this situation is a little hairy...I don't want to bring up Valentine's Day to him, because then he's automatically going to think I want or expect something. But I don't wanna tell him like, "Oh, let's not celebrate Valentine's Day" either, because if he does want to do something, I don't wanna discourage him either! ((Sigh))

Ok he and I are having a facebook conversation right now (he's at work) about taking it slow, and he what he means by it. Lol. Here ya go:

Me: Hey are you busy? I have to ask you something.

Brazil: ask!

Me: well a while back you told me you wanted to take things slow, but I don't really feel like we are...do you?? lol. I guess I just wanna know what your definition of "take it slow" is.

Brazil: mmm 
Brazil: idk 
Brazil: lol

Me: lol well i don't know either!

Brazil: i guess we are. I mean, we're not seeing each other everyday... there are no big commitments made... we're kinda taking it day by day i'd say

Me: well no...but i don't see any one person EVERY DAY. except Jasper

Brazil: haha right

Me: hmmm
Me: well i'm happy with the way things are now, but if you meet someone else, i want to know. especially if you start seeing someone else, because...that would be weird.

Brazil: oh yeah, fair enough!
Brazil: of course id say
Brazil: i have lots of consideration for u
Brazil: to be quite honest, i feel like im getting to know u, and feeling the ground to see if we're compatible... i like what i see so far, thats all i can say
Brazil: meeting someone else its not on the agenda so far btw.. lol

Me: so how do you know if someone is compatible or not??

Brazil: time

Me: well yes, obviously, but i mean...how do you know? lol
Me: i feel like that's something i know right away. but your definitely of compatible might be different than mine

Brazil: i'll say this, im kinda of afraid of being mega committed right now, you know why, but at the same time im not going to go out and start seeing other people as if i was mega available, you know what i mean?
Brazil: im not that clueless
Brazil: lol

Me: You say "mega" alot. lol.

Brazil: cause its MEGA!!! :P

Me: lol you're ridiculous.
Me: ok so what you're saying is, you don't want to make a commitment to anyone, but you're not acting like you're available either
Me: am I right?

Brazil: im saying i dont want a huge commitment right now, Im still dealing with shit, and even though every day things get easier, and i get more light headed, Im still getting back to normal. Yes, im not gonna go out hooking up to anyone ramdomly if thats what ur asking
Brazil: right now, im going out with you, and If i ever felt interested or felt the need to see someone else, you'd be the first to know

So there you have it, my friends. Thoughts?


Bonnie-Lynn said...

You need to stop reading into everything lol. Sounds like you are driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what "this" is.

I know it is hard but he has told you multiple times he is just going to go with the flow. If you keep pushing him it will just push him away, so go with the flow.........but also keep your guard up some as well.

Anonymous said...

Don't even mention Valentine's Day. If he wants to do something about it, he will. You seem like you don't care about it anyway.
The rest is so much talk! I can't say I've ever talked to a guy that in depth about what we were both expecting. But like you said, it's honest and definitely not a bad thing.
I say just try to relax and enjoy it, let it develop how it's going to.

Anonymous said...

I'd say that that sounds okay! There's no been no 'official' conversation of beig exclusive, and you don't see each other everyday... So it sounds like you're moving moderately slow? Lol. Even I don't see my bf everyday, even though we've been together for a few years, but that's mostly because of work schedules.
Do you guys text/talk everyday if you don't see each other? Dating with this much technology around makes communication interesting..
Either way, I'd say just keep going the way you are going and I'm sure things will be fine. Keep living in the moment for now, don't think about the what it's of the future yet. You guys are still getting to know each other, and it seems as though it's going well, so celebrate that :)

Laura said...

I personally think nothing is wrong with bringing up what your guys' V-day expectations are. Just phrase it as wanting to be on the same page. All you're doing is communicating and NOTHING is wrong with that.

I especially think sharing expectations is important, otherwise someone is bound to get hurt when their expectations are not met. That's what it seems like what you're doing with trying to figure out what you guys are doing.

Although, you can go too far and over think things. Just figure out what you want, ask him what he thinks, and take that at face value. If it doesn't fit into what you want, then you know what to do.

Ashley said...

I think you are overthinking all of this.

Anonymous said...

Omg it drives me crazy how you over think everything and then force these guys to have "the talk" all the time. You're being such a typical girl and you're going to push him away! I love this blog but honestly girl. Chill!!!!

Anonymous said...

Ah I got a shot out in the post!!! Omg I am so sorry if my comment about it seeming like you all not taking it slow caused you to overthink things, that wasn't my intention...I was just voicing an opinion :) I'd say both of you seem to be happy with the way things are progressing and as long as both of you are happy that's all that really matters. Also, you seem to be on the same page of what you expect from each other so for now it seems like you can just relax and enjoy the relationship!


Anonymous said...

I am glad I am not the only thinking she takes it to fast reading into stuff. You are such a sweet and lovely girl, but damn girl slow your mouse down in the back of the head!!!

I wouldn't say anything about Valentines day, but let's say on Tuesday, send a quick text say "thinking about you and wanted to wish you a happy Valentines Day". Nothing wrong with that all.. He is a friend so shouldn't get all ugly with that.

Try it hun!