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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

It Could Be Worse

Well I think I'm over the crying part, but I'm still listening to Taylor Swift and Jeff Buckley and thinking about Brazil constantly. ((Sigh))
I just miss him. I miss talking to him, I miss texting him, I miss looking forward to seeing him on the weekends, and of course I miss the sex, but that's not what's killing me. It's that we got along so well, we had a lot of fun together, and things were just...easy. It wasn't like we had to try hard, ya know? But now he's just gone. Absent. This missing piece of the puzzle. Apparently it's a piece that's always been missing, I just didn't realize it till recently... :/
In my sudden craving for a rebound guy, I texted Bill the other night. Remember Bill? The tall guy from my improv class, we went out on like 1 real date, but then I strangely never heard from him again? Well...we've been texting pretty much ever since. He even said we should hang out. But I'm not trying to rush into everything. I'd forgotten how funny he is though! Brazil wasn't funny, and neither are most of my ex-boyfriends now that I think about it.... I like having someone to laugh with. Someone really actually funny. Bill is really actually funny. Lol.
Anyway... I've been spending a lot of time lately with Katie and Abbie. Not at the same time, but you know they're like my 2 best girlfriends here at the moment, and that's definitely what I need. Abbie couldn't believe the shit that went down with Brazil. She actually met him, unlike any of my other friends. But that's only because he would come into the bar when we were both working. But I've been having fun just doing girl things. Mostly shopping... I'm realizing I have a stress-induced shopping habit. But oh well, at least I don't smoke cigarettes or eat in my sleep. It could be worse? I got some really great steals on some outfits for spring too, so I don't have any complaints.
I came across this song the other day, and I haven't been able to stop listening to it. One, because it's Foo Fighters and they're one of my top 3 favorite bands of all time, and two, because it's like it's literally about me. It's weird because I've listened to the song many times before, I just never really listened to it, before now...


I should have known that it would end this way
I should have known there was no other way
Didn't hear your warning
Damn my heart gone deaf

I should have known

Look at the shape you're in
I should have known
But I dove right in
One thing is for certain
As I'm standing here
I should have known

Lay your hands in mine

Heal me one last time
Though I cannot forgive you yet
No I cannot forgive you yet
You leave my heart in debt

I should have known

I was inside of you
I should have known
There was that side of you
Came without a warning
Caught me unaware

I should have known

I've been here before
I should have known
Don't want it anymore
One thing is for certain
I'm still standing here
I should have known

Lay your hands in mine

Heal me one last time
Though I cannot forgive you yet
No I cannot forgive you yet
You leave my heart in debt

No I cannot forgive you yet

No I cannot forgive you yet
You leave my heart in debt
I should have known

Maybe you was right

Didn't want a fight
I should have known
Couldn't read the signs
Couldn't see the lie
I should have known

Though I cannot forgive you yet

No I cannot forgive you yet
You leave my heart in debt
No I cannot forgive you yet
No I cannot forgive you yet
You leave my heart in debt
No I cannot forgive you yet
No I cannot forgive you yet
To leave us all in debt

I should have known.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm a little surprised that you've never dated someone funny. Being with someone who makes you laugh is one of the best things in life. I highly recommend it.

A said...

i think its a terrible idea of you to immediately start hanging out with someone else. You obvs cared a lot about Brazil and now you are just trying to get over him by hanging out with Bill. I think you should take some time and be alone and figure out how, even though you told B to be honest, he totally played you.

Ashley said...

Dating just sucks, huh? Totally dig the song. I can relate.

With dating, good comes with the bad, I suppose. It seems like there should be something sensical about it all, but there never really is. I'm glad the crying has stopped and that you've distracted yourself with shopping.