So I'm getting my haircut tomorrow, and I was talking to Sophie about it, and she sent me a link to one of my old photos on facebook of Todd and me at the Superbowl afterparty. I had just gotten a haircut, it just brushed my shoulders. I didn't like it, I remember. I was in a total state of panic because I had no idea how to style it! Well anyways, underneath that picture was a comment, from Melissa. Remember her? Since I blocked her, ages ago when I cut ties with her, there's no picture, and no link to her profile, but the comment is still there. It said, "You look so beautiful. I love your hair!"
And right then in that moment I just...thought about her. You know, wondered what she's up to, how she's doing, etc. Last I heard she was moving somewhere 4 hours away from Chicago. But I never looked into it or anything, and never asked why. It was just something a mutual friend of ours wrote on my page in passing.
So I signed out of my facebook account and logged into Amanda's account. You guys probably won't remember her, she was someone I met through Melissa a long time ago. Really sweet girl, but we didn't stay in touch. Anyway, ages ago she shared her login info with Melissa and I so we could stalk our exes or some shit like that...
So I logged onto Amanda's profile and looked Melissa up. And as it turned out, she's now living in Madison, Wisconsin, and engaged! And believe it or not, I actually felt happy for her. After everything that happened...I still felt kinda proud of her in a small way. That she finally got out of her parents house and moved all the way across the country. Plus I can relate to that. Moving really far away from home...
So I thought to myself, You know what? Maybe I'll just drop her a line.
And I started to type out an email. This is what it says:
I know I'm probably the last person you expected to hear from, but I heard you moved to the midwest, and that you're engaged. I know we aren't friends anymore, but I just wanted to tell you that I don't harbor any ill will towards you and I'm happy to hear you're doing well. I wish you all the best.
That was as far as I got. Then I started to wonder if it was even a good idea to send her a message, so I asked Sophie about it. She had some very interesting insight on the matter...
Me: do you think it would be a bad idea for me to reach out to Melissa after all this time?
i have experienced times of weakness/loneliness/curiosity when i have considered reaching out to people i cut ties with, but ultimately, i always realize that i cut those ties for a reason
Me: lol, well i just found out that she moved a few hours away from here, and she's engaged
i don't want to be her friend again or anything
Sophie: that's good to feel glad for her i guess
or what reaching out to her would accomplish
Me: well...i just thought it might be nice to just say hey, glad to hear you're doing well
Sophie: i suppose you could do that...but i think it would invite further contact
Me: i don't know that SHE could actually contribute anything positive to my life, but i kind of feel like just mending that broken bridge, even only a little bit, might contribute something positive to my life
Sophie: i would, if you can, mail her something that says that
Me: well i don't know her address or anything..
Sophie: obviously, it is up to you
Me: but you think it's a bad idea?
or that i'd be asking for trouble?
Sophie: i mean, if how things were left is a source of regret for you
then maybe you should do it
Me: no...its NOT a source of regret
Sophie: but i don't think i would let it go farther than one email
Me: and when i stopped talking to her everything got a lot simpler
Sophie: right, so you don't owe her anything
Me: it's not that i feel i OWE her something
Sophie: i think if you reach out to her, it might send HER the message that you DO regret it and then she will think that you did things wrong and are now sorry for it and she is free from blame
Sophie: which, then, will teach her nothing
Me: yea...i guess that's true
So that's the end of that. Do you think it's a bad or good idea reach out to Melissa??