Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I Want I Want!!

Annnnd yet another one of my friends has gotten married. My good friend Dan from college. He was always that dorky, irresponsible, perpetually single guy that you never thought would end up married.
On Sunday.
I am happy for him, I mean, as goofy as he was back then, he's a good guy. I just...can't help but wonder if I'll ever get married, and how long I'm gonna have to wait around. ((Sigh))
I mean I love Brandon, and he's the best boyfriend I've had yet, but I know he's not thinking about marriage. And I don't think he will anytime soon.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm sitting around, pining, and planning my dream wedding in my head or anything. Just every once in a while, I see someone's wedding photos, or you know, another one of my married friends pops out a baby, and I just wonder if my life will ever get past this...plateau.
Did I mention that Izzie had her baby?? I really need to get up to Austin and see them!
Anyways, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I'm at a point in my life where this transitional phase needs to end, but I don't know how to make the next step forward. I think I know which direction I wanna go it, but how??? Practically nobody's hiring right now!
And every time I do a job search, if I manage to find an open position, the description is filled with all this...technical jargon that I can hardly understand! How am I supposed to know if I'm qualified if I can't even understand what the job position is??? ((SIGH!)) It's so frustrating.
I want to move on with my life. I'm tired of being a college graduate with nothing to show for it. I'm tired of bartending. I'm tired of living in an apartment, with no savings, and living paycheck to paycheck. I'm tired of living this...bachelor's lifestyle. I'm not even a bachelor!!
I'm a smart girl, I have a degree from a great university, I'm attractive, and outgoing, and I want a real job, and I want to get married before I turn 30!!!
Are any of my readers in their 30's? Have any of you been where I am, felt the way I'm feeling, and gotten through this?? Does anybody have some sound advice for me?? Cuz I could really use it.


Anonymous said...

I'm 30 and about to turn 31. And I have deffinately been in your position. If you want change- you have to make it happen yourself. No one is going to make these life changes for you. First, tackle the job thing. You are living the life of a college student still. If you are not finding jobs in your area - have you considered moving? Search outside of your immediate area. Maybe a move is just what you need to kick start these changes? As for marriage - don't dwell on it. It really will happen when it happens. When I was little I thought I would be married and have kids at 19 (because that was sooo old when you're little). I'm single now - but living with my boyfriend and looking at rings. If it weren't for all the crapy relationship stuff I've been through - then I wouldn't have met the man of my dreams 2 years ago!...it will happen - just don't force anything. Good luck!!!

Annie said...

I am almost 30 in two years. I am married and have a little girl who is 4. All i can tell you if give B a year or maybe two. If he doesnt come around to wanting to kno how you feel, then you may need to move on and find that someone who feels how you feel about gettin married and havin kids. Cause you cant wait around for the rest of your life for someone who cant show how he feels.

Anonymous said...

Advice, no, not any. I was married at 24, house, life I thought would be perfect, he walked out with my best friend when I was 28. NOW I live the life I want, being the person I am, where I want to be, Happy. I know it sounds silly, but I got lost, and although he broke my heart, I also realize that I may feel pangs of jealousy, regret, or sadness when I see my friends in there "perfect" lives, but then I realize, mine is perfect for me, the way it is. Not always sunshine and roses, but mine to have, my mistakes to make, my joys to look back on and share with people who love me back, all of whom, I wouldn't trade for the world. Still, somedays, what I wouldn't give for a nice man to curl up and hug me goodnight, that I could depend on, that I could laugh with. All in all, this side of 36 looks pretty darn good tho, and I wouldn't go back and change a thing!

Anonymous said...

I will be 30 in November, and I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year. Even before we got together, I was feeling like I was running out of time. My bf is wonderful - kind, thoughtful, affectionate, and absolutely adores me, but he's not ready to get married because he wants a steady career before we do anything like that. But I'm feeling my clock beating right through my chest now! I love him, and will wait for him for a while, but once I turn 30, 35 is just around the corner, and I need to have babies before then. Guys don't feel the same pressure, so they take their time. But if Brandon is right for you, then he's worth the wait!

~J said...

Ohh yea.. I feel that way all the time and I'll be 31 this year! I too have a blog.. it isn't real exciting, just me venting most of the time about family, friends, money, life in general. (and sometimes not being nice about it either! haha) check it out if you'd like. http://lifeandtimesofasinglegirl.blogspot.com/
Let me know what you think! Thanks :)