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Thursday, August 13, 2009

Frustrated and Confused

I decided to just...stop trying. Just for a day or 2. See what happens. So...yesterday, I didn't call him. All day. He sent me a text at 4:40 that said, "Hey what's up!"
I didn't respond. I was holding my ground.
All day. He never called.
Today, I did the same thing.
At 5 o'clock, he sent me a text, same as yesterday, "Hey what's up!"
I waited 20 minutes, and then I figured I better respond, or he'll think I'm mad at him.
So I just said, "Hey."
"What are you doing?"
I waited another 20 minutes.
"Just got out of the shower."
And he never wrote me back! And he never called!
WTF?!?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM!?!! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR TEACHING GUYS HOW TO BE GOOD BOYFRIENDS, BECAUSE WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU MUST HAVE MISSED BRANDON!!!!!
((Sigh)) I'm so stressed out, about work, and money, and everything right now, and I could really use a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen, and he's not even there! And he doesn't even seem to notice, let alone care that we haven't seen or spoken to each other AT ALL in 2 days.
I don't like this. I don't like it at all.
You wanna know who was there for me, who listened, who responded right away to my text??
Law School.
He's been more of a boyfriend lately than Brandon!
It's just not fair. I'm in love with a guy who's been holding out on me because he's afraid to verbally affirm his feelings? Because he believes emotions are sign of weakness? Because he's too lazy to put the effort into our relationship? Because he takes me for granted? Because he's so absorbed in golf, that he doesn't have two shits to spare for me??
I don't know.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know!

9 comments:

Nic said...

hugs!

(Possible) Boyfriends are just rubbish at texting.

My guy friends in Scotland texted back within minutes, while dates took days (sometimes even a week)to text back.

Men! But let on our their beerbuddies text them and they'll have a reply within minutes.

Average said...

Peyton, Sometimes you have to value yourself more than you value someone else. Brandon is most likely a very sweet man but like the book, the movie, and everyone is fond of saying, "He's just not that into you". I don't take pleasure from saying that, trust me, I just ended a 5 1/2 year relationship with someone because in the end, he just wasn't that into me. And it turns out, when I stepped away and had sometime to hurt, cry, heal and move on, I realize I was just not that into him as well.

I keep some quotes by my desk and some that stick out the most are........No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. Don't waste your time on a man/woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you. And.......Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

I know this comment is long, and no one can tell you when it is time to move on except yourself. But sweetheart, you are young and beautiful and while you might be struggling right now, there is no room to hold on to someone that doesn't enhance every day of your life.

Be happy today and tomorrow and the next day know that you are defined by everything wonderful that you are......your friends, your family, your photography, your spirit of adventure (remember Europe?) and NOT by a realtionship. Especially one in which he can't be bothered to call you once in 2 days.

Jadeny said...

honey, I'm sorry to say this out loud, but I have been reading for a while and I really think the famous saying applies here "He's jut not that into you."

I don't mean to sound mean or crass because that's not at all how I feel, but I think he has proven time and time again that he is more about himself than about you. You seem like a great person. Don't settle for anything less in a relationship.

HEATHER said...

i hate to say this but most guys aren't going understand that you're upset just by you not calling them for two days.. they will more likely assume you're busy and will call when you get the time. you have to tell a guy why you're upset or they'll never get it. sorry if this post seems harsh, but i've dealt with the same things with my boyfriend in the past.

*L* said...

I know you love him, but I think it's time to be done. If he's ever going to come around, it probably won't be with him having a gf, as harsh as that is.
You've given him SO SO much and you have tried your hardest and your best to be understanding. But, he still isn't what you need.
There are plenty of guys out there that can be everything you ask for and everything you need. Relationships DO take work, but it needs to come from both people. And frankly, it sounds like he's just not willing to put the effort in. You definitely deserve someone who's willing to do that for you.
*hugs*

Anonymous said...

Time to go after the Law student..:)

Anika said...

Sweetie, isn't it time to dump him? sure you love him, but it sounds like you're looking for a real relationship. Not someone who ignores you, and won't show affection towards you. Or you could be the on to initiate things, he could think that you're the one ignoring him?

Anonymous said...

OK.. so I've been reading your blog for a bit and I have to agree with the rest of your readers. I think it's time to move on too. I mean, take a step back and really LOOK at the situation. Pretend that a friend has come to you and told you that her b/f did all the things that B has done to you, what advice would you give her? I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, no one would. But I believe it's in your best interest to walk away now. He isn't giving you what you want and need. You've tried talking to him in the past and all he's done is made up excuses WHY he can't be a 'real' boyfriend. Seems to me that you 2 are more friends than anything. Cus think about it, any other man would want to be touched, want to spend time with you, WANTS to get down and dirty between the sheets, and frankly.. B isn't into any of that. It's not just a girl thing, any guy who is truly into a girl wants to spend time with them....

I think his actions are speaking MUCH louder than his words. Also, sounds like Lawyer guy is much better b/f material! He's atleast there for you when you need him! I say drop B and move on to Lawyer!! :) Best of luck! :)

Anonymous said...

With the best intentions I just want to say that you need to be done with this! Once and for all. First of all I agree that most guys don't realize what you need just from you deciding not to answer texts or call them...that is the point of communication. And if you can't communicate with him, which you obviously can't (be it you tried and he just won't open up, or you both have completely different styles of how to handle a relationship) then the relationship is doomed to fail. Even though it will hurt like hell you just need to stop complaining and deal with the harsh reality that Brandon isn't for you. You deserve much more.