Monday, March 17, 2008

St.Patrick's Day Promise

Ok here's the response I got from BJ on myspace.


Well i saw Lindsey while I was in florida, and Chase, Lindsey and I had dinner and some drinks and then we went out to harpoon harrys and then I took her home. Nothing happened, i didn't sleep with her or anything. As for us I am so confused. You tell me to just let it ride, so I dont really know how to act around other girls because im worried its gonna upset things with us, but at the same time I dont know what things with us are, so its all a bit confusing. So I mean I'm kinda doing my own thing and trying to let you do yours because i dont wanna be pushy or anything so I guess let me know when you figure it out. As for the Lindsey situation, I will always probably love her Im just not in love with her anymore. She asked me to sleep with her and I told her no the best way i could. So if that doesn't make you comfortable with the situation I dont know what will. If there is something that I can do to make the situation better just let me know. Ok im going to the gym now.
Ohh and im cool like you soooo.....Late."

I wrote back:

"((sigh)) Well i'm not asking you to do, or not do anything, other than just be honest with me. You said you knew what you wanted, but I'm getting the impression, that maybe you don't have as much conviction as you thought. Which is fine! I'm just...I dunno... I care about you, but I have a hard time trusting you, so of course things are going to get complicated. I mean I WANT to trust you, it's just hard for me to let my guard down with you because of our history. And let me explain to you EXACTLY what I mean by "let it ride". Lol. Basically, I just wanna take things slow in the dating/relationship department. Because, like I said, I need to trust you more, and spend more time with you, etc etc... So I think we should keep hanging out and just let things fall where they lie. Make sense? I mean what you do, and who you make out with/sleep with/WHATEVER, is your business. And I'm not gonna tell you "no, don't do this", or "hey, you need to do this", because that isn't my place. But that doesn't mean that I don't think about those things, or that it doesn't bother me at all. In my experience the truth always comes out in the end. So...I may as well hear it from you. And I appreciate you telling me that. Ok, that's all I have to say on that topic.
What's the deal for Wednesday?

p.s. you'll never be cool like me."

And he wrote back again.

I do know what I want and what I want is a normal relationship with you. I do however, understand your hesitancy in the whole trust department, and I am sure I have rightfully earned that. But, to be honest, I just got done wasting about 5 months letting it ride and dating and it just didn't work. Mainly because to me I am either committed or I'm not and I guarantee one of us is going to end up hurt if this is the way we go about this. So the decision is ultimately up to you and I will respect which ever way you decide. Im leaning for the relationship decision just so you know.

Ohh and I've always been cooler than you.

Then I said,

"well, you do realize that in any situation, whether you knew the girl before or not, you can't just JUMP right into a committed relationship with someone, right? i mean, are you pretty much giving me a time limit? because, judging by what you've told me in the past couple weeks, you've had feelings for me on and off for years, so what's a month or 2? i'm not saying i'm gonna drag you around for 5 months. it doesn't usually take me that long to figure shit out.
btw, you never answered my question about wednesday. you told me to get off on the 19th, so i did. and what are you doing tomorrow??

p.s. somebody lied to you."


"Ok, Fine I can give you two months but I make no promises on how well it will go. I have no plans tomorrow and the st. patricks party is on wed. but to be honest I am definitely over partying for a while so i dont think I am gonna go. At some point this week I would like to see you so let me know when you have off and potentially would like to hang out. Kay."


"i'm off tomorrow, and wednesday. and just so you know, i don't like ultimatums. that's not cool. and what do you mean by you make no promises?? if you want this to work, then my advice to you is, don't fuck it up. it's pretty damn simple. i just need some time to get my mind right. this isn't rocket science. why are you always so damn dramatic??? g's... ;)
i obviously wanna see you, and hang out with you, so we agree on something, right? and when the hell are you gonna drive down here for a change??"


"LoL ok I wont fuck it up as you say and I promise I will drive down there as soon as I get my money back. I was extremely irresponsible this month. So when you coming to visit?"

So that's pretty much it. Hopefully we've worked out those kinks. Although I'm still a little unnerved by the fact that he's "giving me 2 months". Who does that!??? Why can't he just let things take their natural course?? But anyways, I switched shifts with somebody so that I can be off Tuesday and Wednesday instead of today and Wednesday, and now I can go visit him for 2 days instead of 1. Plus, it's gonna be really good money tonight since it's St. Patty's Day!!
Except now I gotta run out and find something green to wear!

Demetri Of The Day:
My friend had a burrito. The next day he said, “That burrito did not agree with me.” I was like, “Was the disagreement over whether or not you’d have diarrhea? Let me guess who won.” “I tried to reason with it, I insisted, you know. I was like, 'I wanna go outside, I like these pants, but the burrito had his way.'”


Anonymous said...

You don't have a friggen clue what you want.. therefore you should not bust his chops like you just did. That was unfair, and to be honest it put him in a no-win situation. Try to look at it with roles reversed. How would you feel if a guy told you that he cares about you, doesn't like hearing about other girls, but won't commit to trying a relationship and that he needs time.. and when you say to him that you do want a relationship with him, and you care about him, and will give it a couple of months if that's what he needs.. but you don't want to be strung along with no promises.. then he goes off on you and tells you that you better not f*ck it up if you want to date him.

wtf Peyton!??

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with that comment..I honestly think you need to take a step back from all guys and figure out what it is you really want in a relationship before you start going off on some poor guy about his ex and then in the next breath telling him you dont know if you even want a relationship..that isnt fair to him at all..i dont mean to sound harsh but maybe thats what you need..a wake up call to remind you that you are not the only girl out there and if you continue to "ride it out" he will find someone who wants to actually be with him.

Peyton said...

No no, I was just teasing him when I said not to fuck it up. We're really mean to each other. That's how we flirt. It's just a mutual understanding we had.
And as for the other stuff...I just wish things were that black and white.

Anonymous said...

That seems like a really poor way to develop a love relationship.. to talk that way to eachother. But I guess, different strokes for different folks.

Anonymous said...

i've always thought that if you REALLY like someone than you don't need time to decide if you want to be in a relationship with them. you just know that he/she is who you want and you don't want to see anyone else. i understand that you have trust issues but if you don't let your guard down than you may end up letting someone great go because of your reservations.

Anonymous said...

To be in a relationship should NOT be this hard to start out with. It could be black and white as you say but you are making it confusing for yourself and him. Why are you making it so hard to be with this guy? If I were him I would of already jumped ship. I think you better act fast. From past experiences I've learned the longer you wait, it's going to give him more time to realize that he doesn't wanna wait anymore and thats when YOU realize you shouldn't of strung him along for so long.

Anonymous said...

he sounds like what he wants, and its you!!! perfect. i think that you should go for it. the two month-thing sounds kinda reasonable, bc if he liked you for that long, maybe he doesnt want to go through another perdiod in his llife where you guys are only a 'maybe'.
i thought the message you wrote was harsh, until i realized you joking. and then i laughed. :) i think he knew u were joking too so thats good.
good luck!

Anonymous said...

i just had a crap day and needed cheering up, so i decided to check your blog. and you had another post! so thanks for making my day a bit better.