Aniticipating Distraction

Well, this weekend was...interesting, to say the least. So I'm gonna work my way backwards...
Last night I had a dream that Brandon and I got back together...that we talked, well mostly he talked, and I listened, and we kissed and...everything was good again. ((Sigh)) I woke up way too early, thinking about him, and wondering if he thinks about me, and wanting to call him, text him...
Of course, I didn't. But it was just so...heart wrenching. Because I wish so bad, that I could have that. A dream come true.
But I know it's not right. Not meant to be. We can't go back. Ever.
((Sigh))
Work last night was uneventful. Brandon hasn't made any more attempts to talk to me. And now I wish he would. Even though I still probably wouldn't listen. It would just be nice to know that he still cared on some level.

Friday night was actually, pretty good!
Ali and I got a little tipsy behind the bar. Lol. It was so slow, and I was...well you know. Working with Brandon.
So, my blast from the past, Mike, came into my work again that night. And he and I took some shots together, and we just kind hung out for a bit.
"So, Peyton! When are we gonna hang out? You know, like...really hang out?" He asked.
"What do you mean?? You've got my number!" I said.
"No! I don't actually! I mean, I thought I did, but I don't!"
"Ok, ok, well here!" I said, as I jotted my number down on a scrap of paper, "Now you don't have any excuses!"
"Awesome! I won't lose it!" And he folded it up and put it in his shirt pocket.
He left soon afterwards, but I'm sure I haven't heard the last of him.

Not too long afterwards, I served this really mysteriously sexy guy a couple times. He was really...quiet, and under the radar, ya know? Very intriguing... So when he asked me to close his tab, I made sure to look at his credit card, and get his first name. Logan. Then I wrote him a little note, and slid it into his check presenter.
"I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and give you my number..." And I left him my number!

Then last night, he texted me!! I was at work though, so I didn't get it till like...4am. But it said, "Hey what are you up to tonight?"
And then, "Sorry, I forgot you didn't have my number... This is Logan from last night. You wrote your number on my tab."
So I wrote him back, much later, "Well hello, Logan! Sorry, I just got your text. I know you're probably passed out by now, but I am still at work!"

Well, it is now 9pm the next day, and I never heard back from him again, so... Who knows? Maybe he'll never call! But, at least I put myself out there! Right?
Oh, and Mike Facebook messaged me today! He wants me to go watch his band next Thursday. I told him I'd try to make it, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to get off work.

Jasper's been sick the past week. He's had like...chronic, explosive diarrhea! I mean...literally, he can't make it through the night! And I've been losing sleep, because I keep having to get up and take him out, or get up and clean up his kennel, because he shat all over it. ((Sigh))
So I got up yesterday morning, after only 4 hours of sleep, and took him to the vet. Then I spent the entire day worrying about him, because the vet tech said he would need a parvo test. Ugh...
He ended up being fine in the end. Just stressed from moving. They gave him some antibiotics, and they're already starting to work!

So I guess, all in all, my weekend has been really...up and down. Every time I think I'm starting to move on, or...learn to live without Brandon, I get knocked down again. Something always happens! ((Sigh))
Hopefully a distraction will come soon.
Austin next weekend! I can't wait!!

It Is What It Is

Today was actually not bad at all! I had to get up earlier than I would have liked, to make it to my waxing appointment. And that, was obviously not fun, but much needed. Afterwards, I ran some errands, and then Taryn texted me and invited me out for happy hour. Since it was only 5, I figured, why not? I wasn't supposed to be at work till 9. So I met up with her and 2 of her very tall, very attractive male friends and we had a couple drinks. Then we went to a Mexican restaurant for some grub.
I had a margarita with a Chamborde floater. Mmmm....
When I got to work, I was slightly buzzed, and in a good mood! And we were actually kind of busy!
OH! And Law School is back from visiting his parents up north. So he came in today. It was nice to see him. And we even talked about Austin next weekend! He and Mitchell* are thinking about joining Shane and I for a float down the river on Labor Day!!

*Note:* I introduced Law School to Mitchell one night right after Law School moved here, and now they're friends and they hang out all the time. Weird, huh?

So all night at work, I couldn't stop thinking about how much fun that would be! We could all 4 split a hotel room, or we could crash at Shane's, if it's cool with her, and it would just be a total blast! Tug was working with me tonight, and I mentioned it to him. He says if Bethany wants, they might come too! I'm so excited! Even if it ends up being just me and Shane, I'm sure we'll pull some tail, just us girls, and still have an amazing time!

Tomorrow I've got a piano lesson, and then I'm going to get a long overdue pedicure! I work at 10pm, and Brandon will be there already when I get there. ((Sigh))
But I'm going to try and pull some strings and see if I can't get transferred over to another one of our bars... Usually they're not very accommodating about that, but lately they've been making some changes, so we'll see...
All in all, today was a good day. I only cried about Brandon once, and I think I might actually get to fall asleep without crying again! I know it sounds pathetic but...it is what it is.

New Level of Bummed

He changed his myspace status to single.
Why does that, of all things, have to hurt so much?
I sat at my computer and cried for a few minutes.
Thought about texting him.
Thought about calling him.
But I didn't.
But I have absolutely nothing to distract me, nothing to take my mind off how terrible I feel.
I wish I could just not care.
I wish I could just forget him.

Interesting Developments

OMG. I'm kind of drunk right now. And I didn't mean to get drunk. But I was eating leftover wings, and all I had to drink was bottled water, or wine. So I opened this bottle of sparkling wine that Brandon and I bought about a week ago, and I poured myself a glass. I figured, what the hell? And the wings were a bit spicey, so I ended up chugging my first glass, and then my second, and well...here I am! Drunk! Hahaha.

So I'm pretty buzzed, chatting on Facebook, and guess who messages me?

You guys probably don't remember him, but back when we met, I referred to him as The Good Guy. We actually "met" on a dating website, and he knew Bethany. Well, every now and then, he comes into my bar, or we run into each other. I've just never mentioned it before, cuz I never thought it was really relevant. Ya know? But tonight, he sent me a FB chat message, and when I went ot write back, he had signed off. So I texted him.

Me: You hung up on me!

TGG: My computer is being a biatch. Whats up?

Me: I dunno, you messaged me!

TGG: Yea, I was looking forward to some FB chat but alas, my computer is ridiculous. Just sayin hey.

Me: Ah...yes. FB chat is my only form of entertainment at my new place till the cable gets set up.

TGG: Where's your new place?

Me: (description)

TGG: Cool. I'm still at the same place. This is gonna sound weird, but I had a dream about you last night.

Me: Aaahahaha! About what?

(Ten minutes goes by...)

Me: Comeon...The suspense is killing me!

TGG: The fact that I'm not going to tell you what the dream was about will probably give you a good idea of what was involved. So yea... It was interesting.

Me: OMG. WE HAD DREAM SEX!?

TGG: Lol yes. We did. I woke up as surprised as you are.

Me: Surprised and satisfied! Haha. You know what that means, right?

TGG: It means I woke up with a boner and had to pee really bad.

Me: Lmao, Well yes, but it also means you have deep rooted sexual frustration that you secretly want to take out on me.

(Several minutes go by...)

Me: [TGG]. There's no need to be embarassed. We're both consenting adults. Lol.

TGG: Ah! I just got every text back to back all at once. now my phone is being a bitch.

Me: Man...technology must really be out to get you.

TGG: Yep. Well FYI, you were a good lay in the dream. Just sayin...

Me: Lol. Well FYI, I'm not just good in dreams. Just sayin...

TGG: So what are you saying, Peyton? I'm listening.

Me: Well...I thought I was being pretty clear. Heh.

TGG: I'll keep that in mind. I'm just chilling at my place by the way.

Me: Oh really? Same here.

TGG: Feeling froggy? Why don't you jump on over here?

Me: While that is rather tempting, I am covered in paint and in desperate need of a shower. Lol. I had to repaint/clean my old apt today. So I'm going to request a raincheck. And I don't mean "i'mblowingyouoffandcallingitaraincheck", I mean an actual raincheck.

TGG: Ok cool stuff. I'll take a raincheck. On that note, though, I must depart and call it a night. We'll chat soon though.

Me: Very well then. Hopefully I'll make another appearance in your dreams. ;)



That concluded our conversation. And reading it back, I almost feel ashamed at my tipsy, randy self, but oh well! It was fun!

And who knows what may happen. A rebound may commence...



Although, unfortunately, I do have to give you all a Brandon update.

Saturday night, I was in a really good mood at work again, because Todd played really good in his game, and I got to watch most of it.

Anyways, Brandon got to work 2 hours after me, and I ignored him, as usual. But around last call, the lights came on, and I was closing out a tab, and he walks up right night to me at the computer.

"So you're not gonna talk to me tonight either?" He asked.

"Nope." I said, as I swiped the credit card.

"Why not?"

"Because I have nothing to say to you." The stupid credit card wouldn't go through!

"Well I just want to talk to you about-"

"I don't care. I'm not going to waste any more time, effort, or words on you, Brandon. Just leave me alone." I grabbed the check presenter and made for the other computer, since that one wasn't working anyway.

He followed me!

I don't know what he was saying, because I wasn't listening, but he was hissing in my ear, stuff about our relationship, that he wanted to talk about.

I physically pushed him away from me.

"Leave me alone! If you wanna go fuck other girls, that's your business, but I don't want to hear about it." I walked off again. By this time, I was starting to get upset. He was still following me.

When I got to the other end of the bar, I asked Mark to please tell Brandon that I now was not the time or place to talk to me.

Mark looked up from what he was doing, glanced over at Brandon, and nodded.

But Brandon still persisted!

"It's not about other girls!" He said.

My eyes were flooding with tears, and my face was hot with anger.

I just can't deal with this. Especially not now, I thought.

Magically, Mr. S. appeared at the end of the bar. I hurried over to him.

"Could you please tell Brandon to leave me alone. I can't deal with this right now." I pleaded to him, tears starting to spill over.

He looked sympathetic.

"Come over here. You can go to the back bar. We'll send Sierra up front." He said.

I had to walk back past Brandon to leave the bar. I was so upset at him for doing this to me, now at work, and for almost making me cry, in front of everyone! I shoved him as hard as I could up against the beer cooler.

"You're a piece of shit!" I yelled over the loud music as I stormed off.

The rest of the night went by without incident.

I still don't understand why he's doing this to me.

I just want to move on!



Maybe The Good Guy will be a nice distraction, or even a rebound.

I'm getting a bikini wax Wednesday. ((Sigh))

Perhaps I'll give him a call...