Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Wall

I've hit it. The Wall. In fact, I haven't just hit The Wall, I've broken through The Wall, and now I am indefinitely on the other side of it.
And I like it here.
No more drama.
I don't wanna deal with it.
I don't wanna hear about it.
I'm sick of giving out advice to people who don't listen, they just want to hear themselves talk.
I'm sick of trying to please everyone else.
I'm tired of always trying to be everyone's "Best Friend", when I can't really say the same for many of them.
So, I'm done.
They are out there, and I am in here.
And that's the end of that.

Last night after our extended family dinner, Todd and I went out for a couple drinks. I asked him about Laura. And he basically told me he's not even thinking about marriage! He's too young, and he won't know if he wants to marry Laura until he's ready to think about it. A smart approach too, if you ask me. And I asked him if ever thought about being single, or you know, wondered what he could be missing out on. And he said he thinks about it all the time. And that he knows if he was single, he'd be living the dream right now. So after our conversation, I'm sure of 2 things:

1) He definitely plans on being single sometime in the near future, at least before he plans on being married.
2) He's not sure he wants to marry Laura.

So I guess...I just have to keep waiting for the right moment. He did bring up and old pact we made, that if we turned 30 and still weren't married, we'd marry each other. Lol. I was pleasantly surprised he remembered that.
"Well then you don't have much time, Todd!" I said, "In 5 years, you're gonna have to tell Laura 'Sorry, I've got other obligations!'"
We laughed about that.
Then he invited me to another one of his games!! Two more free tickets!!! Which of course, I absolutely could not refuse! I had so much fun last time, I wouldn't miss it for the world!! So I definitely need to start saving all my money! It's not gonna be like last time with a free place to stay. Although I guess I could stay at Todd's place. But he lives outside the city, so that's not always safe when you're out drinking all night...
So anyway, I decided to bring my friend Amy. I don't think I've ever mentioned her name in my blog before, because she and I have never really hung out just the 2 of us before. I mean I know I've mentioned her, just never by name, cuz it wasn't really relevant. But I've known her for like 3 years, and I love her to death, and she's very down-to-earth. Plus, she's my age, and more mature than some of my other girlfriends. And of course she's dying to go, but there's a catch. She, of course, is a bartender too, and she's not sure yet if she'll be able to get off that weekend. But she said she'll tell me tomorrow night whether or not she can swing it. And if she can't go, I dunno who to invite! I mean...I'm definitely not bringing the same crew as last time. And definitely not bringing Melissa (remember the Dallas incident!??). I want somebody single, who I can have fun with, without any tears, fights, or other miscellaneous drama!
I thought about asking Misty, Mr. S.'s fiance, but she said she has to work that day. So...I dunno! Anybody have any ideas? I'm
starting think maybe I really should get some new friends...

After Todd dropped me off, I sent him a text that said, "Todd, promise me that no matter what happens, or who you marry, or who I marry, that we'll always be friends??"
And he said, "That is a promise... We will always be friends no matter what."

So this Saturday, I'm off work. Mr. S. coerced me into picking up a Sunday football shift, and I agreed under the condition that he give me Saturday night off. And it's Ali's birthday weekend, so I'm gonna go out with her crew. And I'm hoping, just a little bit hoping, that I'll run into Law School that night. Izzie agreed that if I don't hear from him by this weekend, I'd probably be safe just sending him a friendly text saying I'll be out Saturday night, if he's out too, and wants to meet up somewhere. You know, very nonchalant and non-implicit. So..we'll see. Once I'm out, I'm usually pretty good about not texting boys, because I'm so busy having fun, and you know, living in the moment! Which is good. But we'll see what happens...

I may hang out with Todd again tonight. He doesn't have anything going on, but I'm still pretty tired from staying out too late with him last night! And we were only out till like midnight. But my brain just can't handle it anymore!! Lol. So we'll see. If we do make plans, I'm definitely gonna need a nap first!

By the way, aren't you guys glad I've been posting so frequently??


Jen said...

Not only am I glad you're posting more frequently.. but happy that your blogs are so cherry too! Seems you have officially gotten out of your 'Brandon funk' and are living life again. Way to go! :)

I don't blame you on the drama-free friends. I had to do a little housekeeping on mine too. Got rid of all the emotional draining leaches in my life and since then, I'm SO much happier! I didn't realize how much 1 or 2 ppl complaining all the time (and drama) stressed me out and made me irritable! You'll see too.. it's quiet refreshing actually! :)
Good luck! :)

Anonymous said...

YES i'm so glad you're posting more. feel better, we're all pulling for you!

Jadeny said...

I think you should go alone. Give you some time to explore wherever it is you will be and also allow you to hang with Todd without all the hassle of worrying about other ppl. Could be fun.

Amy said...

Glad to see you feeling so carefree! (and posting so often!)

Hurray for cleaning out the drama department. Did that a little while ago myself. FEELS GREAT! Eventually those people may grow up; but until then, you don't have to deal with their crap.
Excited to see where your life takes you! So glad that you're sharing it with us. :)

Anonymous said...

Very excited about the frequent posts!! And seriously i love Todd, the sound of him!!

Have fun drama free and all that!! ENJOY!

DDgirl said...

Maybe Sophie could come? You could have fun and surely no drama!
Love frequent posts!

Anonymous said...

soooo glad you are posting more often! love hearing your funny stories and about your drama filled friends- makes me feel better that i'm not the only one :)
i'm also happy for you that you are happier. i hope you stay that way. have a fun weekend! :)