Slapped In the Face During Sex

Yes. It happened. Lol. And it was kinda hot...

Katie's friend, Lex (his name is short for something long and Greek, lol) came into town last Wednesday and we went to the improv. That was alright, and he seemed cool, and pretty easy on the eyes. Then Thursday they both came into the bar while I was working, and he attempted to teach me to salsa dance. Lol. That was fun, and kinda sexy. Afterwards, we went to a 4am bar and hung out, and then we all ended up back at my place drinking even later, and hanging out. And then finally Katie called a cab, and Lex seemed disappointed that they were leaving. He said something to me like, "I thought we were gonna hang out longer and get to know each other?"
But I later found out that he's only TWENTY THREE!!! We were having coffee and I nearly spit mine all over the place when he told me! Katie had said he was 27!!! But that explains his lack of experience in the sack. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers, right? Haha, kidding. But really, it wasn't bad, it was just...well you know.
So anyway, I didn't see them at all Saturday after he left. But Sunday the three of us had prearranged plans to go to brunch, so we still did that. And when we finished eating, Katie basically said she had to watch some foreign film and write a paper on it for class, so she wanted me to hang out with Lex for a couple of hours. I wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea, because I usually enjoy spending my Sundays in my PJ's, catching up on TV, and I was already really exhausted from partying/working all weekend. But I obliged anyway.  So we went for coffee, and just talked. That was when I found out his age, and I actually learned some things about him. He's still in that stage where he thinks he's gonna be rich by 30, and lounging around his mansion in a 3-piece suit, smoking cigars all day. Lol. It's great that he has ambitions, but he still lives with his mom. Apparently he's looking for roommates now. Man, I wonder if I still would have slept with him if I'd known all that beforehand? He's also never been in a relationship in his life, because he thinks there's no point in being in one, unless he's ready to get serious and start a family..!??! LOL. WOW. Well, needless to say, it never would have worked out between us. I mean, not that I was ever thinking/hoping it would, but it just feels better knowing, I guess. We went to a movie afterwards, and surprisingly it wasn't that awkward. Then we went our separate ways. Never to see each other again. ((Sigh)) The End.

Well, at least that's the end of the story of me and Lex. The story of me and BJ however, is still having it's ups and downs. And I really have no idea what, if anything, is going to come from this. I called him like 3 hours ago and he didn't answer. And I just saw that he posted on facebook like 4 seconds ago, so I know he's not busy. Ugh... Well whatever. I have no say in when or if he calls me, so I just have to deal with it. The only problem is, if this thing with BJ turns out to be nothing and just blows over, then what am I gonna do?? I'm just supposed to go back to my boring, single, spinster life???

On Hiatus...

...until I can't keep my thoughts in my head any longer. But right now, I'm doing ok sans blogging. So until next time, adieu.

Goodbye

I can't stop crying. I'm on the verge of hyperventilating. Summer and Bethany found a cell phone in a cab tonight. And it just happens to be Law School's. What are the fucking chances???
They read me most of the text messages between him and Melissa, which go back like 3 weeks. She told him everything I said. About how I had feelings for him, I was just trying to suppress them.. That whole conversation I posted!!! She fucking sent it to him!!! Just like Jayme did. And they even joked about who's friend I was. Now they both talk like I'm some psycho, and she is supposedly my "Best friend??"" Who does that??

I'm sorry if you guys don't understand where I'm coming from.

I can't write in this blog anymore. i just can't deal with everything I'm being forced to deal with, on top of all the criticism.
I can't trust anyone.
Not even my "best friend".

So this is it.
I'm done.

The Wall

I've hit it. The Wall. In fact, I haven't just hit The Wall, I've broken through The Wall, and now I am indefinitely on the other side of it.
And I like it here.
No more drama.
I don't wanna deal with it.
I don't wanna hear about it.
I'm sick of giving out advice to people who don't listen, they just want to hear themselves talk.
I'm sick of trying to please everyone else.
I'm tired of always trying to be everyone's "Best Friend", when I can't really say the same for many of them.
So, I'm done.
They are out there, and I am in here.
And that's the end of that.

Last night after our extended family dinner, Todd and I went out for a couple drinks. I asked him about Laura. And he basically told me he's not even thinking about marriage! He's too young, and he won't know if he wants to marry Laura until he's ready to think about it. A smart approach too, if you ask me. And I asked him if ever thought about being single, or you know, wondered what he could be missing out on. And he said he thinks about it all the time. And that he knows if he was single, he'd be living the dream right now. So after our conversation, I'm sure of 2 things:

1) He definitely plans on being single sometime in the near future, at least before he plans on being married.
2) He's not sure he wants to marry Laura.

So I guess...I just have to keep waiting for the right moment. He did bring up and old pact we made, that if we turned 30 and still weren't married, we'd marry each other. Lol. I was pleasantly surprised he remembered that.
"Well then you don't have much time, Todd!" I said, "In 5 years, you're gonna have to tell Laura 'Sorry, I've got other obligations!'"
We laughed about that.
Then he invited me to another one of his games!! Two more free tickets!!! Which of course, I absolutely could not refuse! I had so much fun last time, I wouldn't miss it for the world!! So I definitely need to start saving all my money! It's not gonna be like last time with a free place to stay. Although I guess I could stay at Todd's place. But he lives outside the city, so that's not always safe when you're out drinking all night...
So anyway, I decided to bring my friend Amy. I don't think I've ever mentioned her name in my blog before, because she and I have never really hung out just the 2 of us before. I mean I know I've mentioned her, just never by name, cuz it wasn't really relevant. But I've known her for like 3 years, and I love her to death, and she's very down-to-earth. Plus, she's my age, and more mature than some of my other girlfriends. And of course she's dying to go, but there's a catch. She, of course, is a bartender too, and she's not sure yet if she'll be able to get off that weekend. But she said she'll tell me tomorrow night whether or not she can swing it. And if she can't go, I dunno who to invite! I mean...I'm definitely not bringing the same crew as last time. And definitely not bringing Melissa (remember the Dallas incident!??). I want somebody single, who I can have fun with, without any tears, fights, or other miscellaneous drama!
I thought about asking Misty, Mr. S.'s fiance, but she said she has to work that day. So...I dunno! Anybody have any ideas? I'm
starting think maybe I really should get some new friends...

After Todd dropped me off, I sent him a text that said, "Todd, promise me that no matter what happens, or who you marry, or who I marry, that we'll always be friends??"
And he said, "That is a promise... We will always be friends no matter what."
:)

So this Saturday, I'm off work. Mr. S. coerced me into picking up a Sunday football shift, and I agreed under the condition that he give me Saturday night off. And it's Ali's birthday weekend, so I'm gonna go out with her crew. And I'm hoping, just a little bit hoping, that I'll run into Law School that night. Izzie agreed that if I don't hear from him by this weekend, I'd probably be safe just sending him a friendly text saying I'll be out Saturday night, if he's out too, and wants to meet up somewhere. You know, very nonchalant and non-implicit. So..we'll see. Once I'm out, I'm usually pretty good about not texting boys, because I'm so busy having fun, and you know, living in the moment! Which is good. But we'll see what happens...

I may hang out with Todd again tonight. He doesn't have anything going on, but I'm still pretty tired from staying out too late with him last night! And we were only out till like midnight. But my brain just can't handle it anymore!! Lol. So we'll see. If we do make plans, I'm definitely gonna need a nap first!

By the way, aren't you guys glad I've been posting so frequently??

A Farewell Message...

Ok look. I know to most of you, I'm just this...faceless, blogging entity, but I am a real person. With real feelings. And I've been putting myself out there, as flawed, and human as I am, in this blog, for you all to read. And it was fun at first, but it's not fun anymore. It seems like all I get is criticism from most people. And I know I shouldn't let it bother me, because none of you really know me, but nobody can handle constant criticism all the time. Nobody likes to come home from a rough day and read about what a shitty person they are on their own blog. Nobody wants to second guess everything they do, because some group of strangers thinks you date too many guys.
In the end, it all just starts to wear you down.
So I'm not even going to bother defending myself. Say whatever you will about me...I'm pussing out, or I'm a slut, or a bad friend or...whatever.
I'm just done.