The Last Supper

Well...the date didn't exactly go as planned. He showed up late, I could tell he didn't really want to be here, and he was drunk! Not hammered or anything, but buzzed, and obviously under the influence.

And he doesn't want a relationship right now.

It's over.

I don't know why he keeps dragging me through the mud like this. Why would he want to spend time with me, without sex, if he didn't care?? But he flat out told me that he just doesn't care enough to want to be in a relationship with me.

So I don't know what I'm going to do now. ((Sigh))

I've already spent the whole night, crying and kicking myself for letting him do this to me again. I feel like I'm back to where I was 2 months ago. I've accomplished nothing, other than reopening my heart to him, so he could break it all over again. And now I just...don't want to think about it anymore.

My interview yesterday went really well. So well, in fact, that I got a call this morning from my contact (the guy who got me the interview), and he told me they want to offer me the job! They just want to make sure I want the job. And I've been thinking about it, and I think I'm going to take it. I have nothing to lose at this point, and I can only move upwards from here, so why not? When I spoke to him, he asked me what I thought, and I said I was surprised! I mean, I went into it knowing I was the least qualified, and I honestly didn't expect them to offer me the job. So I said I needed a couple days to think about it, and he said no problem, to call him back this weekend.

I called my mom and talked to her, and a couple of my friends, and I think this job will be a good opportunity for me. So...hopefully it's still available. I definitely need to make that call soon.

First Interview

Well, I finally said something to Brandon. I just couldn't take it anymore! I called him last night, I was a little tipsy, so the liquid courage might have had something to do with it. And I asked him what was going on, and if he'd changed his mind about us. And he said no, he's just been doing his own thing. And so have I. Which is what I told him. I just said that I wanted to make sure he wasn't having second thoughts, because I wasn't sure he'd tell me if that was the case, and I just don't wanna invest anything more into this for nothing. He said he hasn't changed his mind, he's just been busy, and that was that! Short, sweet, and to the point. Although I'm totally not buying the "I've been busy" excuse. He's pushing me away, which I knew. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't something more serious. We talked for about 15 minutes after that, and yes, we're still on for dinner tomorrow night. I decided on a salmon dish, with pasta and basil cream sauce. I'm excited! I did all my shopping today, so I'm prepared!

Tomorrow morning is my dreaded interview. Not only is it going to be pouring down rain tomorrow morning, but the commute is probably gonna be like an hour! Which means I'm gonna have to leave at like 7am. Ugh... I don't even know if I'm gonna be able to get to sleep tonight! My usual bedtime is somewhere around 4am! ((Sigh)) I'll just be so glad when this is over.

I was invited to a pumpkin carving party Wednesday night, and Summer, Ben, Taryn and Ali, and a bunch of my other friends are gonna be there. I'm looking forward to it. It's my night off! I'm also supposed to go to dinner with Law School sometime this week. He got a new job, apparently, and we haven't hung out in a while, so he said he wants to catch up. And he's buying! So I told him, definitely. I was thinking about inviting him to the pumpkin party, and maybe we could grab dinner beforehand. But I dunno, that might be too...date-like. Or maybe I'm just being ridiculous. We'll see.

Well, I guess I should be getting to bed. Argh. I'm going to sleep with my fingers crossed!

Date Number 2!

We're on for Tuesday night!!

Brandon and I talked last night after work, I was in the back bar, and he was in the front. So we didn't really see much of each other during the shift, but it's probably better than way. So we talked after work, and flirted a little, and I asked him what he was doing Tuesday, and he said nothing, so I invited him over for dinner! And he said yes!

When I got home, he sent me a text that said, "Good night Peyton. Have fun tomorrow!"

Emma and I went to the Renaissance Festival today. It was really fun, but I'm totally exhausted now from my lack of sleep. And I can't stop thinking about my interview Tuesday. I'm really nervous! Tuesday is gonna be a real busy day. I have the interview at 8am, then a wax at 2:30, then work at 6, then dinner with Brandon. I told him I probably wouldn't get off work till 10 or 11, so it would be a late dinner. Now I just have to figure out what I'm gonna make! I'm thinking something French... But obviously it's gotta be something kinda easy and/or quick to make. Any ideas?

Prospects

Things with Brandon and I are still not on solid ground, but he hasn't stopped texting me. So...maybe he just needs some space. And I've been giving it to him! He mentioned that he's got a lot of stuff going on this weekend, so I'm just gonna see how it goes at work tonight. I've been back a week already, so things should have calmed down by now.

Wednesday and Thursday night, I went out with Summer, Ben, Mark and Cailee. And of course, we had a total blast! Tonight and tomorrow night I'm working, and Sunday, I'm going to the Renaissance Festival with Emma, Bethany and Tug! So I'm really looking forward to that. Plus, I'll have an excuse to wear my dress from Sophie's wedding! I can't wait.

Tuesday, I have an interview! It's at 8am, which really sucks, but it's for a project coordinator position out by InterContinental Airport. Something to do with security systems. Jayme's dad hooked me up with the interview, which is awesome, because according to him, I'm the least qualified out of all their prospects. But I'm what they call a "fresh out", which is a college graduate with basically no experience, but a hard worker and fast learner. Even if I don't get the job, at least I'll get the interview experience. I just need to go out and buy something to wear! Ugh... I'm nervous!!

I'm planning on inviting Brandon over for dinner Tuesday night. I'm gonna cook for him this time. Of course, I haven't asked him yet, but I'm gonna wait till Sunday, cuz I wanna see how tonight and tomorrow go. He's playing golf today, and I don't wanna text or call him. So...I dunno. I just really need to talk to him, face to face. It's always better that way. And hopefully we can get back on track. ((Sigh))

If all goes as planned, Tuesday will be a very busy day!! So wish me luck...with everything!