Saturday night was horrible!
We were short a bartender, and of course, it was insanely busy. Not to mention, I'm getting sick again, and I've just been so exhausted. My back was aching the whole night, and I just didn't feel like I was up to doing my best.
Then FB shows up with his friends, and literally will not leave me alone. I mean I was working the waitress well, so it wasn't even really my job to be helping the customers. They had other bartenders for that. But he's ordering rounds of EIGHTEEN SHOTS from me!! Ugh. Then he told Amanda and Melissa that he was "taking me out on a date" tomorrow. Which was so not true. Thank God for Evan! He was there too, and I grabbed him and quickly engaged him in a conversation so FB would leave me alone. FB and his crew didn't leave till close.
I saw Jake The Door Guy on my way to work, and he hardly said 2 words to me. Then after work, he came over to hang out, and he was all, "Hey lover!" and gave me a hug! I think the guy might have multiple personalies.
At the end of the night, while we were cleaning, Frank shows up, completely pants-shitting drunk. I mean, it was ridiculous. And he was talking shit to me for no reason! First he told me, "Fuck you, you fat bitch. Shut your mouth." I almost laughed at that, because it was a rather hypocritical comment.
But then later, he slapped me in the face!!! YEA! I was entering credit card tips on the computer, and minding my own business, and he walks up and says, "Stop looking at me like that!"
"Like what?" I asked.
"The way you're looking at me!" He slurred.
"I can look at you however I want." I said. I was really not in the mood to deal with him after the crappy night I'd had.
"I'll slap you in the face." He threatened.
"No you won't." I said, not even looking at him, and continuing to do credit cards.
Then he slapped me!! And not lightly either. I turned around and slapped him 3 times harder.
"Don't fucking slap me!" I said to him. I was so pissed!
And he laughed.
Then he started talking to Ali, saying that I'm a horrible photographer, and that as much as I try, I'll never be good at it. Normally, I wouldn't have let any of this bother me, but I just got off my period, I'm tired, sick, sore, and at the end of my rope, so this was just the straw that broke the camels back, ya know? I wanted to cry, but I would never do that at work. So I threw down my bar towel, and went to the back bar, to get away from him.
Nick was back there cleaning. I told him I was mad and I needed him to come eat with me after work so I could cry on his shoulder. Lol.
So we went and ate late night Mexican food at some 24 hour joint, and exchanged stories. I told him about Frank, and FB, and he told me about his psycho ex calling and listening to his voicemails.
Oh, and I feel like I have to state for the record, Nick is an awesome guy. He's not out to get into anyone's pants, and he totally respects me. He knows I'm not romantically interested in him either, so he wouldn't try to "cock block" me with Jake. What he told me is what he honestly believes to be true. And I know I can trust him.
Moving on....
Friday night was Blinn's birthday. And I forgot to mention in my last post, he has tried to make out with me twice in the past 4 days! I mean, both times he was drunk, but still... I wouldn't let him kiss me though, because 1) I was sober and 2) I'm not going to end up like Valerie!
I had to take him home after work on Thursday night, because he was wasted and his brother had his car. So that was the first time he made a move. And then Friday, a buncha people went over to his place for his birthday after work, and he started kissing my neck in front of like 3 other people!!! Omg so embarrassing! But it's ok, cuz nobody knows about what happened between us before. Except Alyssa and Bethany. And I know they won't tell anyone. But it kinda makes me wonder if he's actually interested in me, or if he's just drunk. He's always telling me I smell good, and sniffing me. Literally!
Well, sorry this post hasn't been very...detailed, but like I said, I'm exhausted! And I'm really looking forward to getting in bed and reading a book!
Thanks for reading!
Demetri Of The Day:
"The straw is a great invention. You can drink without using your wrists. The straw is your friend until you lose eye contact with the straw. Then he will betray you and make you look like an idiot. I have to pull the straw aside and be like “What the hell do you think you’re doing? The last time I checked, you were right by my mouth. What are you doing on the other side of the glass? I don’t need you; you’re a luxury!
The ice is even worse. When there’s liquid in there, yeah it’s fine; it’s like a pool party. “Hey we’re keeping everything cool.” I’m talking about when I get to the bottom and it’s just me and the ice. I’m like, ok just one of you. Come on I just want something to chew on; come on. And the ice is like, “Hold…hold…everybody now!”"
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The First Time
When she got to his house, she had no intentions of it happening. I mean, sure, she had considered it multiple times but... How do you ever know when you're ready for something like that?
Plus, she had always thought she'd wait. You know, for marriage. Most people thought such ideas were just romantic notions of naivety. But that was how she was raised, and she wasn't just going to give it up to anybody.
But he wasn't just anybody. He was special.
The night started out just like any other. They went upstairs to his room, turned off the lights, and turned on the TV. Even after so many nights of hanging out in his room, she still felt nervous. Almost awkward. She often wondered what he was thinking during those pregnant moments of silence they often shared.
As they made themselves comfortable on his bed, she was reminded how much she hated it. It was a water bed. Loud and sloshy and wiggly. Every time she started to get cozy, she began to feel as if she were drowning. It was as if they bed were trying to swallow her. Oh well. Might as well get used to it. She crawled under his comforter; it was always cold in his room. As she was laying there, staring at the television, her thoughts drifted back to their evening. The fancy dinner, the poem she'd given him. She must have spent at least 3 days perfecting it. She had never given him anything so personal before. But he said it was good. She wished he wasn't leaving tomorrow. How could she go from seeing him almost every day, to just weekends, at best?
She guessed she loved him. I mean, if this wasn't love, what was? She knew she had never felt so strongly attached to anyone before. It was as if she needed him. And the thought of not having him made her stomach knot up. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if to hold herself together. He thought she was cold, and put an arm around her.
She turned to look at him. He smiled a nervous smile and kissed her. His kiss was more intense, more...urgent than normal. She could sense it. She wanted to ask him, but he pulled away first.
"I got condoms today." He said.
"Ok." She whispered.
She swallowed hard as he reached over her for the drawer in his bedside table. Her heart began pounding almost audibly in her chest. What about waiting? What about him leaving? What would she do?
Thoughts, in the form of questions, went racing through her mind. She wasn't even aware of either of them undressing. They were still under the covers. The TV was still on, but the volume was low enough to be background noise. It was dark. She didn't even see what he looked like naked.
Breathing became something she suddenly had to think about. Just like blinking, or swallowing. She was hyper-aware of herself. What kind of underwear was she wearing? Oh no, not those ugly purple ones with the flowers... Maybe he won't see them.
Then, there was nothing else for them to do, except cross the threshold. She was hesitant. There was no turning back on this one. She would never be the same.
He had done it once before. On New Years Eve with a girl he was dating. She had been a lot more experienced than him, and he had been drunk. What kind of a first time was that? It didn't work out.
He started slowly, but she stopped him.
All her muscles were contracted. She was so tense. She took a deep breath and tried to relax.
"Are you ok?" He asked.
She nodded, quickly and nervously. Then she loosened her grip on his sides.
He tried again.
Pain!
She stopped him again. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Was it supposed to hurt this bad? I mean, she had heard that it did, the first time, but...
"Just come a little closer." She said to him.
He was very patient. She appreciated that.
"Ok, a little bit closer."
The pain was worse. She had to stop him. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now. She was afraid he would notice. He did.
"I don't wanna hurt you," He told her as he brushed the tears from her face. "We don't have to do this, if you don't want."
"No, it's ok. I do want to. Just...go slow." She whispered.
She let him enter her completely. It had to get worse before it got better, right?
It hurt so bad, it made her think of the time she first got her ears pierced. The sharp, intense pain. The breaking of skin. The hyperventilating.
But then...the pain was gone, and all she could feel was him. So close, so...beautiful. And she knew, she must love him. How could she not?
It was everything, and nothing like she had expected. She supposed she hadn't really had many expectations. Other than it would be with someone she loved. And he was so kind, so patient, so...wonderful. And now she had all of him. And he had all of her. What could be more amazing?
Plus, she had always thought she'd wait. You know, for marriage. Most people thought such ideas were just romantic notions of naivety. But that was how she was raised, and she wasn't just going to give it up to anybody.
But he wasn't just anybody. He was special.
The night started out just like any other. They went upstairs to his room, turned off the lights, and turned on the TV. Even after so many nights of hanging out in his room, she still felt nervous. Almost awkward. She often wondered what he was thinking during those pregnant moments of silence they often shared.
As they made themselves comfortable on his bed, she was reminded how much she hated it. It was a water bed. Loud and sloshy and wiggly. Every time she started to get cozy, she began to feel as if she were drowning. It was as if they bed were trying to swallow her. Oh well. Might as well get used to it. She crawled under his comforter; it was always cold in his room. As she was laying there, staring at the television, her thoughts drifted back to their evening. The fancy dinner, the poem she'd given him. She must have spent at least 3 days perfecting it. She had never given him anything so personal before. But he said it was good. She wished he wasn't leaving tomorrow. How could she go from seeing him almost every day, to just weekends, at best?
She guessed she loved him. I mean, if this wasn't love, what was? She knew she had never felt so strongly attached to anyone before. It was as if she needed him. And the thought of not having him made her stomach knot up. She subconsciously wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if to hold herself together. He thought she was cold, and put an arm around her.
She turned to look at him. He smiled a nervous smile and kissed her. His kiss was more intense, more...urgent than normal. She could sense it. She wanted to ask him, but he pulled away first.
"I got condoms today." He said.
"Ok." She whispered.
She swallowed hard as he reached over her for the drawer in his bedside table. Her heart began pounding almost audibly in her chest. What about waiting? What about him leaving? What would she do?
Thoughts, in the form of questions, went racing through her mind. She wasn't even aware of either of them undressing. They were still under the covers. The TV was still on, but the volume was low enough to be background noise. It was dark. She didn't even see what he looked like naked.
Breathing became something she suddenly had to think about. Just like blinking, or swallowing. She was hyper-aware of herself. What kind of underwear was she wearing? Oh no, not those ugly purple ones with the flowers... Maybe he won't see them.
Then, there was nothing else for them to do, except cross the threshold. She was hesitant. There was no turning back on this one. She would never be the same.
He had done it once before. On New Years Eve with a girl he was dating. She had been a lot more experienced than him, and he had been drunk. What kind of a first time was that? It didn't work out.
He started slowly, but she stopped him.
All her muscles were contracted. She was so tense. She took a deep breath and tried to relax.
"Are you ok?" He asked.
She nodded, quickly and nervously. Then she loosened her grip on his sides.
He tried again.
Pain!
She stopped him again. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. Was it supposed to hurt this bad? I mean, she had heard that it did, the first time, but...
"Just come a little closer." She said to him.
He was very patient. She appreciated that.
"Ok, a little bit closer."
The pain was worse. She had to stop him. Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now. She was afraid he would notice. He did.
"I don't wanna hurt you," He told her as he brushed the tears from her face. "We don't have to do this, if you don't want."
"No, it's ok. I do want to. Just...go slow." She whispered.
She let him enter her completely. It had to get worse before it got better, right?
It hurt so bad, it made her think of the time she first got her ears pierced. The sharp, intense pain. The breaking of skin. The hyperventilating.
But then...the pain was gone, and all she could feel was him. So close, so...beautiful. And she knew, she must love him. How could she not?
It was everything, and nothing like she had expected. She supposed she hadn't really had many expectations. Other than it would be with someone she loved. And he was so kind, so patient, so...wonderful. And now she had all of him. And he had all of her. What could be more amazing?
Friday, February 22, 2008
No More Fantasies
I recently decided to drop all notions about me and Jake The Door Guy. I'm the type of person that always gives people the benefit of the doubt. I look for the good in people. And while that may sound like a nice quality, it usually turns out to be more of a problem than anything. And in the case of Jake The Door Guy, I feel like this is one of those situations.
Nick and Jake have been kind of hanging out recently. And he knows about my little crush. And the other day while we were closing the bar together, we had a little conversation about him.
Nick: Hey, can I be completely honest with you about something, without you getting mad, or thinking that I'm trying to cock block you or something??
Me: Um...sure...?
Nick: If you're looking for a relationship, or anything serious, Jake isn't your guy. I mean if you just wanna goof off and mess around or whatever, then go for it. But seriously? He's just out to fuck.
Me: What?? How do you know that?
Nick: Because! I've spent a lot of time with him the past few days, and it's just the way he acts, the things he says... Actually, he's been tryin' pretty hard to get into Tina's pants.
Me: TINA!?! Ew! Why do all the guys like her!? I don't get it.
Nick: I dunno...cuz she's cute. But she's got lots of baggage. But guys seem to like crazy girls I guess?
Tina is the girl I used to work with at the last bar. And I really didn't want her to get a job with me, because frankly, I'm not a big fan of hers. And now apparently all the guys like her. (i.e. The Albanian, Jake The Door Guy, and a couple other bartenders) It drives me crazy! She just recently got divorced! And by recently, I mean...I don't even think the papers are finalized yet. And she's only 22! And I know for a fact that she and The Albanian are already sleeping together. ((huff!)) Anyways, so I decided, right then and there, to stop fantasizing about Jake and I, because I'm not going to delude myself.
Friend Boy keeps calling and texting me. He apparently can't seem to take a hint. I mean I feel kinda bad, but I have to cut the cord. Ya know? I'm not gonna lead him on. But it's really starting to get kind of annoying.
Last night, I had off work, so me, Melissa and Amanda went out. In the end it was just me and Melissa though, cuz Amanda went home early since she had work the next morning. We went into the shot bar, and of course Jake The Door Guy was there. I was cordial towards him, but disinterested. And I'm pretty sure he noticed. And it wasn't like I was doing it on purpose to get his attention either! I just...don't wanna bother getting to know someone if they're only going to disappoint me. If I wasn't interested in him romantically, then getting to know him wouldn't be a big deal. But I know me, and that's never going to happen. So we had a pretty low-key night, just hanging out and stuff. Then we went over to my bar, and ran into Frank, who pretty much attached himself to us, because he has a thing for Melissa. Well, all he did, all night, was talk shit about Nick! And it was really pissing me off, because Nick is a great guy, and a great friend to me. And Frank was making him sound like some dog, who just chases after girls for sex, etc. etc...which is totally not Nick! And when I would defend him, Frank would just say, "You don't know Nick as well as I do! I've known him for 2 years...blablabla..."
"Yea, but you and Nick aren't friends! There's a difference. I actually talk to Nick on the phone, and hang out with him and stuff. And he's not the way you say he is." I protested.
Ugh. I hate it when people bash others, just to make themselves look better. And that's exactly what Frank was doing to try to impress Melissa. He's so transparent...
Anyways, when Melissa and I got back to my car to go home for the night, there was a piece of pizza smeared all over the windshield of my brand new, freshly washed car!!! And I was parked over in the shot bar's parking lot, right next to The Albanian.
"It was Jake!" Melissa exclaimed, "His truck used to be right behind you."
"What an ass!" I said.
"You shoulda put that pizza on his car. Too bad he's gone already," Melissa said, "send him a text."
So I did.
"Thanks for the pizza, I was hungry!" I wrote.
"You're welcome!" he wrote back. An admission?
"You're a douchebag! Putting pizza on peoples' cars..." I wrote.
He didn't respond.
But this morning, I woke up with 2 texts from him. The first one said. "I didn't put pizza on your car." And the second one said, "5:30 in the morning?!?"
I wrote back, "What happened at 5:30 in the morning?"
Jake: You texted me. Or I just got it at 5:30?
Me: You just got it at 5:30. I sent it at like 2:15.
Jake: Oh. What ev! Loser.
Me: I'm not a loser. YOU'RE a loser.
Jake: Nice one.
Me: Lol. I was just trying to level down a bit so you wouldn't feel too intimidated by my dazzling wit.
Jake: True dat.
I didn't respond, but 5 minutes later, he's calling me!
Me: Hello?
Jake: Hey what are you doing?
Me: Um...uploading the pictures from that party at Blinn's the other night. What's up?
Jake: I didn't put pizza on your car! When you sent me that message that said thanks for the pizza, I didn't know what you were talking about, I just said you're welcome.
Me: Haha, yea I thought that was an admission!
Jake: No, it really wasn't me.
Me: Well...I really wish I knew who it was! Cuz it was smeared all over my window, and not many people know I have a new car.
Jake: Well I'm sorry about that. You're lucky it didn't ruin your paint.
We chatted for a bit longer. The whole time I was trying to figure out why he was calling me. He couldn't just be calling to chat, could he? I totally don't get him! He told me he hates his job at the gym, and we talked about what jobs we want and stuff... Then finally his other line was beeping and he said he had to go.
"I'll see you tonight!" he said.
"Ok, bye." I said and hung up.
Hmmm...
Demetri Of The Day:
“I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’”
Nick and Jake have been kind of hanging out recently. And he knows about my little crush. And the other day while we were closing the bar together, we had a little conversation about him.
Nick: Hey, can I be completely honest with you about something, without you getting mad, or thinking that I'm trying to cock block you or something??
Me: Um...sure...?
Nick: If you're looking for a relationship, or anything serious, Jake isn't your guy. I mean if you just wanna goof off and mess around or whatever, then go for it. But seriously? He's just out to fuck.
Me: What?? How do you know that?
Nick: Because! I've spent a lot of time with him the past few days, and it's just the way he acts, the things he says... Actually, he's been tryin' pretty hard to get into Tina's pants.
Me: TINA!?! Ew! Why do all the guys like her!? I don't get it.
Nick: I dunno...cuz she's cute. But she's got lots of baggage. But guys seem to like crazy girls I guess?
Tina is the girl I used to work with at the last bar. And I really didn't want her to get a job with me, because frankly, I'm not a big fan of hers. And now apparently all the guys like her. (i.e. The Albanian, Jake The Door Guy, and a couple other bartenders) It drives me crazy! She just recently got divorced! And by recently, I mean...I don't even think the papers are finalized yet. And she's only 22! And I know for a fact that she and The Albanian are already sleeping together. ((huff!)) Anyways, so I decided, right then and there, to stop fantasizing about Jake and I, because I'm not going to delude myself.
Friend Boy keeps calling and texting me. He apparently can't seem to take a hint. I mean I feel kinda bad, but I have to cut the cord. Ya know? I'm not gonna lead him on. But it's really starting to get kind of annoying.
Last night, I had off work, so me, Melissa and Amanda went out. In the end it was just me and Melissa though, cuz Amanda went home early since she had work the next morning. We went into the shot bar, and of course Jake The Door Guy was there. I was cordial towards him, but disinterested. And I'm pretty sure he noticed. And it wasn't like I was doing it on purpose to get his attention either! I just...don't wanna bother getting to know someone if they're only going to disappoint me. If I wasn't interested in him romantically, then getting to know him wouldn't be a big deal. But I know me, and that's never going to happen. So we had a pretty low-key night, just hanging out and stuff. Then we went over to my bar, and ran into Frank, who pretty much attached himself to us, because he has a thing for Melissa. Well, all he did, all night, was talk shit about Nick! And it was really pissing me off, because Nick is a great guy, and a great friend to me. And Frank was making him sound like some dog, who just chases after girls for sex, etc. etc...which is totally not Nick! And when I would defend him, Frank would just say, "You don't know Nick as well as I do! I've known him for 2 years...blablabla..."
"Yea, but you and Nick aren't friends! There's a difference. I actually talk to Nick on the phone, and hang out with him and stuff. And he's not the way you say he is." I protested.
Ugh. I hate it when people bash others, just to make themselves look better. And that's exactly what Frank was doing to try to impress Melissa. He's so transparent...
Anyways, when Melissa and I got back to my car to go home for the night, there was a piece of pizza smeared all over the windshield of my brand new, freshly washed car!!! And I was parked over in the shot bar's parking lot, right next to The Albanian.
"It was Jake!" Melissa exclaimed, "His truck used to be right behind you."
"What an ass!" I said.
"You shoulda put that pizza on his car. Too bad he's gone already," Melissa said, "send him a text."
So I did.
"Thanks for the pizza, I was hungry!" I wrote.
"You're welcome!" he wrote back. An admission?
"You're a douchebag! Putting pizza on peoples' cars..." I wrote.
He didn't respond.
But this morning, I woke up with 2 texts from him. The first one said. "I didn't put pizza on your car." And the second one said, "5:30 in the morning?!?"
I wrote back, "What happened at 5:30 in the morning?"
Jake: You texted me. Or I just got it at 5:30?
Me: You just got it at 5:30. I sent it at like 2:15.
Jake: Oh. What ev! Loser.
Me: I'm not a loser. YOU'RE a loser.
Jake: Nice one.
Me: Lol. I was just trying to level down a bit so you wouldn't feel too intimidated by my dazzling wit.
Jake: True dat.
I didn't respond, but 5 minutes later, he's calling me!
Me: Hello?
Jake: Hey what are you doing?
Me: Um...uploading the pictures from that party at Blinn's the other night. What's up?
Jake: I didn't put pizza on your car! When you sent me that message that said thanks for the pizza, I didn't know what you were talking about, I just said you're welcome.
Me: Haha, yea I thought that was an admission!
Jake: No, it really wasn't me.
Me: Well...I really wish I knew who it was! Cuz it was smeared all over my window, and not many people know I have a new car.
Jake: Well I'm sorry about that. You're lucky it didn't ruin your paint.
We chatted for a bit longer. The whole time I was trying to figure out why he was calling me. He couldn't just be calling to chat, could he? I totally don't get him! He told me he hates his job at the gym, and we talked about what jobs we want and stuff... Then finally his other line was beeping and he said he had to go.
"I'll see you tonight!" he said.
"Ok, bye." I said and hung up.
Hmmm...
Demetri Of The Day:
“I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’”
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Once Upon A Time...
The rain was coming down in sheets when the couple left the party. They exchanged looks before running out into the night. They splashed through deep puddles, laughing and holding hands. It must have been almost 3 am. The parking lot overlooked the bay. The waters were turbulent, and sailboats rocked back and forth violently on the bay.
By the time they got to her car, they were both soaked. Her hair hung in damp tendrils around her face, sending icy streams of water running down her back and shoulders. She looked up at him through dripping eyelashes. He was smiling, that familiar smile that made his blue eyes twinkle. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands finding their place in the small of her back. She wove her fingers through his wet hair as their lips met. Their clothes clung heavily to them, like a second layer of skin. She could feel the energy pulsing between them; a current as strong as the lightning flashing overhead.
However, nothing existed beyond the 2 lovers, wrapped in eachother's arms, enjoying true love's kiss. The thunder boomed loudly, and the wind howled. The rain was coming down so heavily it was as if they were standing in the center of a very wet cloud.
The kiss felt like a second, and an eternity. Time almost seemed to stand still. How long had they been standing there? He had been holding something, but he absently let it fall to the ground now. As wet as they both were, what did it matter anyway? She pulled him even closer, kissing him more firmly, and passionately. His hands moved up to her neck, and then cradled her face gently and he softened his kiss. No words were needed. She pulled away slightly and looked up into the face of the man she loved. He looked back at her with a tenderness, yet a rapture. It was a look no one else had ever given her. A look that said anything and everything words could never say.
She took a deep breath, and smiled. This would be a kiss that she would never forget.
By the time they got to her car, they were both soaked. Her hair hung in damp tendrils around her face, sending icy streams of water running down her back and shoulders. She looked up at him through dripping eyelashes. He was smiling, that familiar smile that made his blue eyes twinkle. He pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands finding their place in the small of her back. She wove her fingers through his wet hair as their lips met. Their clothes clung heavily to them, like a second layer of skin. She could feel the energy pulsing between them; a current as strong as the lightning flashing overhead.
However, nothing existed beyond the 2 lovers, wrapped in eachother's arms, enjoying true love's kiss. The thunder boomed loudly, and the wind howled. The rain was coming down so heavily it was as if they were standing in the center of a very wet cloud.
The kiss felt like a second, and an eternity. Time almost seemed to stand still. How long had they been standing there? He had been holding something, but he absently let it fall to the ground now. As wet as they both were, what did it matter anyway? She pulled him even closer, kissing him more firmly, and passionately. His hands moved up to her neck, and then cradled her face gently and he softened his kiss. No words were needed. She pulled away slightly and looked up into the face of the man she loved. He looked back at her with a tenderness, yet a rapture. It was a look no one else had ever given her. A look that said anything and everything words could never say.
She took a deep breath, and smiled. This would be a kiss that she would never forget.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)