Saturday, June 2, 2012

Girls Weekend: Part I

Alright I want to apologize in advance for this post, because it's going to be really negative. I'm not having the best day. I just quit my subscription to online dating a month early, because I just can't take it anymore! I hate it! Worst idea I ever had!! I had another really horrible date, with some pathetic loser who takes himself wayyyyy too seriously. He's in finance but is pursuing "acting" (said in the voice of Jenna Maroney). Give me a fucking break... Not to mention, he practically held me hostage for FOUR HOURS!! I have never wanted to leave a restaurant so badly. Ugh. So that's it. I quit! I am never going to meet someone in Chicago because frankly, the percentage of attractive guys here is uncommonly low, I'm talking like...6%. And the portion of guys within that percentage that are single is probably 1%. SO FML. I should just move back to Houston. Sometimes I literally sit and think about all the hot guys I just tossed aside because of some trivial flaw I found, and it makes me sick. What is wrong with me?!? I just want somebody to be with. And I don't think it makes me shallow if I prefer that he not be morbidly obese or covered in warts!! ((Sigh)) I know I am being very dramatic right now, but I need to vent.

Anyway, now let me tell you about my disaster weekend with the girls. Yes, that's right, it was a Grade A disaster. Bethany got here Wednesday afternoon. I took the train to the airport and met her in baggage claim. We were all excited and happy and the world is at our fingertips, yay!! Lol. So that night, I took her to my favorite restaurant which is now only 3 doors down. We get drinks and order appetizers and the whole time, she is texting her lame ass boyfriend. Finally I said something to her about it and she was like, "Sorry! It's just everyone wanted to know I made it here safe." So I let it slide...
Then we're trying to figure out what to do that night, because Bethany wants to do something Chicago-y. I had tried to get us tickets to a really popular show at the improv theater, but it was sold out. And then it hit me! The puppet show! (Improv puppet show at aforementioned improv theater)
Bethany says, "Whaaaat? No. I am not doing that."
"Dude, trust me. It's hilarious, and you'll love it."
And she did! HA!
Then we decided to go out for a couple drinks afterwards. I didn't want to stay out late, because I had my housewarming/birthday party the next day, and I knew we were going to be partying pretty hard the whole weekend, but some annoying guys were flirting with Bethany, and because she was enjoying the attention, she wanted to stay. So we did.
Bright and early the next morning, Carrie calls, her plane just landed. Bethany and I are still in bed. So I text Carrie the directions on how to take the train and what stop to get off at, etc, and I tell her I'll meet her at the train stop by my house. Bethany refuses to get out of bed. So I go get Carrie, and she's all smiles because this is her first trip to Chicago. So I take the girls to the lake. We lay out and relax, it's nice outside, and we're getting sun. The lake is still too cold to swim in though. So after a couple hours, we're all hungry and ready to get going. By this time, Bethany is starting to get a little tired, and...mopey. For lack of a better word. She hardly talks at all while we're at the restaurant and she complains about her panini, because it's "not what she was expecting it to be". So I ask her if something is wrong, because she seems to be acting weird and she says she's just tired. So I suggest she takes a nap while Carrie and I get ready for the party.
So we get back to my place (which looks GREAT by the way, and I couldn't be happier about that), and Bethany showers and gets in my bed. Carrie and I are making snacks, cleaning, and just you know, getting ready for the party. Of course during this time, we both have to shower, so obviously we have to go in my room. Well Bethany starts getting all pissy, cuz we're going in there while she's sleeping.
These are some of the things she said:

"OH MY GOD every time I finally fall asleep, one of you opens that door!"

Loud, obnoxious sighs and huffing.

"I swear to god, the next time one of you comes in here, I'm gonna punch you in the face."


Finally I was so fucking irritated with her, that I just didn't even wanna go in my own bedroom, which I realize now is completely ridiculous because she was being a total bitch. But I was looking forward to the party, and didn't want to get into it with her, because clearly she was cranky and needed a nap. Ugh.

Well the party went off without a hitch! It was a lot of fun, all my friends came, and we all got appropriately drunk and silly. It couldn't have gone more smoothly. Not to mention, everyone showed up with something, so now my fridge is stocked with enough beer and liquor to last me till the end of the summer. Lol.

Bethany has taken up residence in my bedroom, forcing Carrie to sleep on the couch, even though I suggested they take turns. But I wasn't about to get in the middle of it. Well, on Tuesday, which is the day before Bethany got here, I discovered that I do not have central air in my apartment. I have a thermostat control thing on the wall, so I assumed I had AC, but apparently it's just for the heat. I just never realized it till Tuesday because the weather had been so nice so I hadn't needed to turn it on. Well a heat wave came through, of course, just in time for my friends coming and my party. And I didn't have $200 set aside to buy a window unit, and knowing the weather here, I figured it would just be a hot day or two, and we could ride it out. Well, Friday morning, I'm woken up to the sounds of Bethany bitching because it's so hot. She complains until I stand up on my bed and turn the fan up higher. Then I lay back down to sleep for at least another hour.
Then the fan starts making a clicking noise and Bethany says, "Um, I don't think I can deal with that."
So I say, "Well then you can fix it." And I roll over and go back to sleep. Or at least, I try. It was pretty hot in there. Bethany sighs audibly and stands up to turn the fan back down. Finally Carrie wakes up so we all get up. Bethany wants to go shopping, because she has to buy her boyfriend Cubs gear, blablabla annoying crap about her boyfriend blabla, I wanna go shopping blabla. Carrie and I don't really wanna go shopping, but we agree, because at least it gets us out of the house and doing something. So we shop. All. Goddamn. Day. I took them downtown because Carrie wanted to see the city, as she's never been here before. And I took them to the Hancock building, and up to the 96th floor, etc. And then Bethany wants to go in the Watertower mall, and shop some more. She chose only the most expensive boutiques, and Carrie and I were literally just sitting in benches waiting for her to try on outfit after outfit. It was like we were her handmaidens or something. And god knows how much money she spent... But Carrie and I get along really well and we're both goofy so we just entertained ourselves by being silly in between Bethany's appearances, "Do you think this skirt is long enough?"

Other quoteable Bethany quotes from the day:

"OMG I was looking through this rack of clothes for my size and this girl just came up right next to me and started looking through the same clothes! And I was like, 'Uh that's ok, I wasn't looking at that or anything!'"

"Do we have to walk there?"

"WHY is that chick staring at me!? WTF is her problem!? The people here are REALLY WEIRD."

"Why is it so cold?!"

"Why is it so hot?!"

"When you say it's close, like does that mean actually close??"

Finally, after a long day of walking, and shopping, and sightseeing, we head back to my side of town, exhausted and starving. So we decide to just do a nice relaxing dinner, and then maybe a nightcap if we're up to it. Because we're all too tired to do another crazy night of drinking. So I ask where they wanna eat, and Bethany says, "I want Italian!" So I suggest this place Abbie and I went to for brunch once. It's a great little restaurant. But Bethany insists on texting Carissa to ask her if she knows of any good places. Carissa suggested some place I'd never heard of, but I assured Bethany that the restaurant I suggested is awesome! So we end up going there, and surprisingly, Bethany loves it. Carrie and I suggest ordering a bottle of red wine, but no. Bethany only drinks white. So we get a bottle anyway just for the two of us. Hehe. Then Carissa comes, because Bethany invited her, and they spend the next hour talking amongst themselves and it's basically like just Carrie and I are out to dinner. Which was great!
So dinner is finally winding down, we're all stuffed and Carrie and I are just polishing off our bottle of wine, and we're contemplating dessert, when I notice someone standing behind me in my periph, and I turn around, and it's ALI!! SURPRISE!!
A pleasant surprise of course. :) Except that this means we're going out, and I'm so beat I feel like I'm gonna fall face first into my lasagna. But I'm determined to entertain, so we bar hop. And it was a pretty good night! We danced, we drank, we laughed, and Bethany stayed with Ali in her hotel. Which meant Carrie didn't have to sleep on the couch again. Even though it was still pretty hot in my apartment.

To Be Continued...

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