Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Growing Up

Well this weekend was a killer. My dad was here, so that meant working late every night and still getting up early every morning to go do stuff. It was fun though, and nice to see my dad. But now that he's gone, it's also kind of a relief that I don't have to do anything tomorrow or the next day. Lol.
Tonight I was sitting on my couch, watching TV, and eating leftovers and thinking to myself how much I love my apartment. It might be small, and it might not have central air, but it's mine. All mine. My stuff, my space, my decor...it's just great. And I couldn't be happier about it.
Tomorrow, Warren's band is playing at a small venue downtown, and me, Abbie and another girl from work, Kylie, are all going. Speaking of Abbie, I've been feeling a little...tired of her lately. Well, that's kind of harsh for me to say, actually. Tired of her isn't the right way to put it. I've just been feeling a little too old for her lately. I mean since when did I become always the grown up?? It's so weird. But it's like...her friends all suck. Most of them do coke, and are super immature drama queens, and then it's like she hooks up with a different guy almost every weekend, and half the time she doesn't even use protection! I already had to go get Plan B for her once, and I feel like I have mother-daughter conversations with her on a weekly basis:

"Abbie. You can't just have unprotected sex with complete strangers. You could literally get an STD, or get pregnant, or worse!" 

"Abbie. Why the hell are you friends with that girl?? She was coked up the whole day and trying to pick fights with everyone." 

"Abbie. Your friend just puked on her shoes."

 "Abbie. It's 9am and you're still drunk from the night before." 

And she always just has some excuse, usually, "I know, it was stupid, I was just really wasted." 

WTF!? I've had plenty of drunk, stupid sex in my time, but I don't remember ever being that irresponsible. And it's taxing, to be honest! To be constantly listening to her tell me about all the stupid-ass situations she gets herself into with guys, and her friends who are all alcoholics and a horrible influence. Ugh... I can't wait till her twin sister, Reagan, moves back from Germany next month. She's great - married to a guy in the military (he's been stationed in Germany but is about to be deployed), she's mature, and still fun, and definitely the kind of stability I think Abbie needs in her life right now. Because I don't think I can handle any more train wreck friends. Is it selfish of me to be thinking this way?? I mean, I love Abbie, and she's probably the best friend I've made here in Chicago so far, but to me these are red flags. Right?? But I mean, she's only 2 years younger than me! I don't remember being that...crazy at 26. Was I?? Maybe I should go back and read some old posts. But it is weird reflecting on my own maturity. I may not be the best when it comes to managing my money, but when it comes to my lifestyle, my friends, school, and my health, I'm pretty damn responsible. And that's definitely more than I can say for the person I was 3 years ago.
So maybe I just need some more grown up friends. Or maybe I'm just ready to move on from...wherever it is I'm stuck right now. ((Sigh)) Baby steps.

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