Tuesday, March 2, 2010

No One

Why do I feel like Todd chose Jayme over me? I don't mean in a romantic sense, I just mean...it's like he chose to date her, rather than be friends with me. I know this sounds completely irrational, it's just...I can't help but feel that way! Ugh... He sent me a text the other night that said,

"Hey Peyton! I know you don't really want to speak right now, but just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated all the pictures and frames that you set up for me. I didn't expect anything and was really blown away. Thank you so much!"

((Sigh)) I wanted to write back and say something like..."It's not that I don't want to speak to you, I just need some time", but I just didn't respond. I just feel really hurt and trampled on. It's like he hardly knows this chick, but he's known me for 20+ years and instead of really taking my advice to heart, or even just considering it, he just completely disregards everything I say, and the way this whole situation makes me feel. I mean, what if they end up staying together?!? I will never be ok with that. Never. And I hate that he would rather spend all his time with her! I wanted to hang out with Todd while he was here, and now it's like I can't even talk to him! Part of me feels like Jayme manipulated this whole situation just to get me out of the way!!
ARRRRRRRRRRGH! I know how crazy this all sounds. Completely insane. Off the reservation. Batshit crazy. I know, I know. It's just...wtf is up with all my friends lately?? Why?? It's like just when I feel like I have someone I can really count on, they throw me under the bus. And what sucks the most is that at the end of the night, you know when you get in bed, and you kinda feel like crying, but really you just need somebody to talk to? I have no one.
No one.

Quote Of The Day:
"Stupid fucking cunty bollocks..... expialidocious."


Jen said...

I don't think Todd is choosing her over you. You made it clear to him that you didn't want to talk to him for a bit, so he's honoring your wishes and keeping his distance. He's doing what you asked. You made the choice not to go to his party, he never uninvited you.

I can understand that you would be uncomfortable if him and her become serious. But it's just 1 of those things you can't change. You can either accept it and be his friend, or walk away. The choice is yours.

You ever think that maybe your helping them spend so much time together? If you were still speaking to him, you could try to occupy a lot of his time so that she doesn't. I'm just sayin... There are other ways to keep them from getting together than just telling him you think she's shady. :)

Anonymous said...

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I'm also reading another blog, if you or anyone is interested in reading. its brand new.


Lea said...

Why are you always the victim? Why is everything always about you? Why can't Todd.. your FRIEND .. date whomever the hell he wants??


Peyton said...


The answer to your question:

Hmm...let me think...

Cuz this blog is about ME!! and MY feelings! THAT'S WHY!


Anonymous said...

I'm trying to understand where you're coming from, and I feel terrible that you feel truly hurt and the pain you feel right now is probably influencing all of your feelings about the situation. But I don't think Todd is choosing anyone over you...he wants to be your friend and JUST your friend, therefore he can date whomever he wants. And if she is shady then he will figure that out in his own time. But he is a grown adult who can make his own decisions so I don't think him disregarding what you said about Jayme (someone that he is interested in right now) is his way of choosing her over you it's simply him making a choice for himself and honestly that has nothing to do with you.

I hope none of this comes off as mean because it really isn't meant to at all. I guess I'm just trying to say that you're Todd's friend and nothing more and it just seems that you're looking at this whole situation as if you were his actual girlfriend and you're not.

Hopefully, you'll feel better soon enough :)

Lea said...

Fair enough... but please spell my name right... LEA... no "H".


Peyton said...

< :o
Sorry, Lea! It was an honest mistake.

Lea said...

ok Peyton, I will give you a pass this time ;o). You are a good girl, I just think you have some soul growing to do. don't get mad when I bust your chops... k? peace