An Unhealthy Obsession

So things with Rusty and I haven't exactly been going perfectly. I mean the whole driving down there all the time thing is getting old. And I'm starting to feel like he doesn't really appreciate it! And I'm also getting really sick of people telling me to stay away from him etc etc... I get it, ok people?! He's a bad guy, he's bad news, he's this, he's that... I DON'T CARE! I make my own decisions and my own mistakes. And if he is a mistake, then I'm going to have only myself to blame. But no matter what...I still can't get enough of him.
((sigh))
I really wanted him to come over and hang out last night, because I didn't have to work, and neither did he. But said he wasn't feeling well, and he just wanted to stay home. Even when I offered to pick him up! I vented to Melissa on the phone about it for an hour, and she told me to blow him off for the rest of the night, so I did. He called me around 11:30 and I didn't answer. Then he sent me a text at 3:30 am that said, "I can't believe you didn't call me back".
I tried calling him just a minute ago, because he usually wakes up around 4, but he didn't answer. Of course. So I sent him a text, just so that he would know I called, and couldn't pretend he didn't have any missed calls. All I said was, "Hey, I didn't get your text till today, I was passed out. Guess you're still sleeping. Call me when you wake up!"
All I wanna do is see him! Wrap my arms around him, kiss him...((sigh)) I have some serious issues. I need to get my head out of the clouds for real, and come back to reality. This is so not healthy. Ugh...
Today is Melissa's 25th birthday. We're celebrating tomorrow. I requested the opening shift tomorrow so that I could hang out with her and the girls. So hopefully that will be a fun escape from what is really going on in my life.