Well apparently Abbie's wife has been cheating on her since February with some woman she works with. Abbie's twin, Reagan, found out quite by accident. They all share a family phone plan, and Reagan was looking over the bill when she noticed that Helen's call log had been manually deleted, which was odd, as well as a strange number that was being texted a lot, late at night. So she mentioned it to Abbie, and Abbie confronted Helen, and she denied it at first, but "gradually" came clean, only admitting to a little bit at a time.
Abbie said she is heartbroken, and still loves Helen, and she thought they were still in their honeymoon phase, despite the fact that Helen has been callous and bitchy towards her recently. She cried on the phone, and said she feels like a failure and she doesn't want to tell anyone that Helen cheated. I think she's being way too accommodating. What a cunt! Ugh... I feel so bad for her. But she said her new job as a flight attendant has helped keep her distracted and busy. So that's good. Hopefully she'll meet some new people and being away from Helen will make it easier for her to move on.
So that's what's going on with that.
So for the past several months, Lauren has been kind of seeing this guy she met on Tinder who lives in Dallas. He's been here to visit a few times, and she's gone there, but she always spoke of him as if he was more of a friend than a romantic interest. Like, she thinks he's really funny and they have a good time together, but she wasn't that attracted to him physically. And then there was the fact that they basically never had sex. Apparently she tried to initiate it several times, and it just...didn't work. So that's definitely not a good sign. So based on all of that, I never really gave Dallas Guy much thought. But then she went there this past weekend and she told me on Sunday that he asked her to move in with him! IN DALLAS! Apparently the lack of sex was due to the fact that he "really really likes her" and was nervous, and after they talked about it, everything was fine in the bedroom. And she said she is actually thinking about it. If she leaves, I'll just DIE!! She is my ONLY remaining single friend! Not to mention, basically my only friend AT ALL here in NOLA. I mean, there's Bethany, but we just don't have much in common anymore and I don't feel as close to her as I did back in the day. Plus, she's completely consumed with work and wedding planning. Ugh.
If Lauren leaves, who will I go out with on the weekends? Who will be my trusty wingwoman? Who will go to last minute happy hour with me? Who will be my travel buddy on road trips to Houston??? MY SOCIAL LIFE IS GOING TO DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH! Not to mention my sex/dating life, which I pretty much owe entirely to her. I never would have met any of the guys I met this year if I wasn't out with Lauren. ((Sigh))
I know Sophie is coming, which is good, but...it's not the same as having a girlfriend my own age to pal around with. And she doesn't really go out much, and we run in very different circles. We've always had our own friends. I've had terrible anxiety over this for the last couple days, because I don't want my life to go back to the way it was. When I was boring and always at home watching tv and eating. I could gain back all the weight I lost! UGHHHHHH....
Making new friends is hard.
Meeting men is hard.
I thought I had a handle on that situation, but now all of that could go down the toilet. ((Sigh))
I haven't heard from Kyle all week either. Not since he apologized for responding late to a text I sent him. He was at a haunted house with his brother and he said he doesn't like to be on his phone when he's doing things with other people, which I understand and respect. But now he's in Miami all week, and I told myself I wouldn't text him AT ALL. And I haven't. But he hasn't texted me either, which is not a good sign.
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Sex, Dating, Marriage and Cheating
Sorry if I left you guys hanging. Apparently some of you were confused by my reaction to finding out "The Cheater" had a gf. Ok. Initially yea, maybe my reaction was inappropriately strong. But it obviously came as a complete shock to me. And yes, it's true, I knew next to nothing about the guy when I slept with him, and what we had lasted one night, and was 85% just physical. The fact still remains, I wouldn't have done any of it if I'd known he was supposed to be committed to another person. I'm not ok with that. I'm not a pure hedonist, there is always a line we have to draw. After everything that happened with Lane, I came out the other side of a dark tunnel pretty much, with my back straight and my head up, refusing to let my broken heart take me deeper into that tunnel, where surely depression and anxiety and hopelessness waited for me. I've been there before, I'm familiar with the road that leads to that, and I made a choice not to take that road. Instead, I chose the road of distraction, pleasure and indulgence. I don't regret that choice, because it's far better than the alternative, but perhaps I continued down that path a little too long. And finding out about Eric's girlfriend was sort of an eye opener. I'm not saying I'm going to revirginize myself or anything, but going forward, I want to be a bit more informed on my choices. I don't think cheating is ok, ever. Under any circumstances. I've cheated, and been cheated on. In the long run, it's hurtful to everyone involved, and any pleasure derived from the experience comes at a hefty price. Not to mention, it's baggage I just don't need! So those are my feelings on that.
Anyway, Abbie just called and dropped a huge bomb on me. She and Helen are getting a divorce. They haven't even been married a year! The selfish part of me is angry because I spent so much money to be in their wedding and had to fly to Chicago when I was broke and going through a really rough time, and so much time and thought (and more money) went into the gift I got/made for them, and so much time and grief (on my part as well as Abbie's) went into their whole courtship (I was in Chicago for all of that), and now it's all just going down the drain! The phone call was very brief, because Abbie was at work, but she did tell me that Helen cheated, and apparently her twin sister, Reagan, is the one who figured it out. She promised to call me later tonight and explain everything. ((Sigh)) I'm going to be thinking and wondering and speculating about this all day. Of course I feel awful for Abbie, and genuinely shocked. They seemed so in love! And I really did believe Helen was the best woman for the job! (Being Abbie's wife) Cuz Abbie's no walk in the park. I mean, just being her friend was pretty much a full-time job, and she's high maintenance! Maybe that's why Helen cheated? She's also pretty young. I think she was only 24 or 25 when they got married. Still! NOT AN EXCUSE TO CHEAT! Ugh...
Every time this happens I lose a little bit more hope for myself. I know, I know, it's not about me. But if any of you are one of the last TWO single people left in your group of friends, you'll understand. It's just me and Lauren now. One of us will end up in a relationship eventually, and the other one will be fucked. And I don't want it to be Lauren, but of course, I don't want it to be me either. ((Sigh))
Speaking of relationships, Chris hasn't answered my last 2 texts. At first I thought he might be traveling, because the last time I saw him, he mentioned he was gonna have to go to Detroit and somewhere else. But in the past, he's always been pretty good at responding to my messages, so either I said or did something the night of my bday that put him off or freaked him out, or it's just ran its course. Who knows? Our time together had an expiration date anyway, so perhaps it's better this way.
And Kyle promised to take me out for a late bday dinner as well. That was supposed to happen the weekend after my birthday. We had a restaurant picked out and he was going to pick me up and everything. But the morning of our date, he called and said he left his work laptop at his hotel in Dallas and had to drive all the way back to get it because he could get in big trouble. He apologized a lot and begged me not to hate him and swore he'd make it up to me, but we have yet to reschedule. ((Eye roll)) First he got sent off shore, and this weekend I'm super busy with work, and on Sunday he's leaving for a work conference in Miami for a week. Ugh! I'm not sure if this will ever happen. Maybe in another 2 years? Lol. As much as I would like to see him and find out if we still have that chemistry we had 2 years ago, I'm not holding my breath. But in the meantime, my bootycall well has dried up. So I'm taking that as a sign that my 6 month foray into the life of Dorian Gray has come to an end. I really do want something more meaningful than that.
Anyway, Abbie just called and dropped a huge bomb on me. She and Helen are getting a divorce. They haven't even been married a year! The selfish part of me is angry because I spent so much money to be in their wedding and had to fly to Chicago when I was broke and going through a really rough time, and so much time and thought (and more money) went into the gift I got/made for them, and so much time and grief (on my part as well as Abbie's) went into their whole courtship (I was in Chicago for all of that), and now it's all just going down the drain! The phone call was very brief, because Abbie was at work, but she did tell me that Helen cheated, and apparently her twin sister, Reagan, is the one who figured it out. She promised to call me later tonight and explain everything. ((Sigh)) I'm going to be thinking and wondering and speculating about this all day. Of course I feel awful for Abbie, and genuinely shocked. They seemed so in love! And I really did believe Helen was the best woman for the job! (Being Abbie's wife) Cuz Abbie's no walk in the park. I mean, just being her friend was pretty much a full-time job, and she's high maintenance! Maybe that's why Helen cheated? She's also pretty young. I think she was only 24 or 25 when they got married. Still! NOT AN EXCUSE TO CHEAT! Ugh...
Every time this happens I lose a little bit more hope for myself. I know, I know, it's not about me. But if any of you are one of the last TWO single people left in your group of friends, you'll understand. It's just me and Lauren now. One of us will end up in a relationship eventually, and the other one will be fucked. And I don't want it to be Lauren, but of course, I don't want it to be me either. ((Sigh))
Speaking of relationships, Chris hasn't answered my last 2 texts. At first I thought he might be traveling, because the last time I saw him, he mentioned he was gonna have to go to Detroit and somewhere else. But in the past, he's always been pretty good at responding to my messages, so either I said or did something the night of my bday that put him off or freaked him out, or it's just ran its course. Who knows? Our time together had an expiration date anyway, so perhaps it's better this way.
And Kyle promised to take me out for a late bday dinner as well. That was supposed to happen the weekend after my birthday. We had a restaurant picked out and he was going to pick me up and everything. But the morning of our date, he called and said he left his work laptop at his hotel in Dallas and had to drive all the way back to get it because he could get in big trouble. He apologized a lot and begged me not to hate him and swore he'd make it up to me, but we have yet to reschedule. ((Eye roll)) First he got sent off shore, and this weekend I'm super busy with work, and on Sunday he's leaving for a work conference in Miami for a week. Ugh! I'm not sure if this will ever happen. Maybe in another 2 years? Lol. As much as I would like to see him and find out if we still have that chemistry we had 2 years ago, I'm not holding my breath. But in the meantime, my bootycall well has dried up. So I'm taking that as a sign that my 6 month foray into the life of Dorian Gray has come to an end. I really do want something more meaningful than that.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Cheater
I wanted to blog yesterday, but my laptop charger stopped working and I was trying to save my computer battery before I went and bought a new one. Anyway...birthday weekend was a huge success! Lauren and Bethany and I went out for brunch, then some day drinking, and I finished the night off by getting together with Chris, and having some mind blowing bday sex. His flight got in at 5pm ON MY BIRTHDAY so it worked out perfectly. This weekend coming up should be a good one too, because Kyle will be back in town, and he says he's taking me out for a late birthday dinner. We've been texting all day. And I keep telling myself that I am NOT going to sleep with him. I mean it's been 2 years since I've seen him, so what's the rush? Maybe I can actually squeeze a few dates out this guy, who knows? All I know is, it seems like I'm actually having my needs met in the sex dept right now, and I want more than that. So I'm going to give Kyle a shot.
Speaking of the sex dept, that guy I hooked up with from Austin a couple weeks ago, the half Chinese really beautiful one with the longish hair? He texted me the other day asking me when I was coming to Austin and we were chatting for a bit. He made some comment about us sleeping in "my bed" and I was like, "Uh, what about YOUR bed? You're the one who lives in Austin, not me."
And he said, "Nah, I never let people sleep in my bed." RED FLAG!
So I said, "Why? Do you have a thing for bedwetters or something?" Trying to keep it light.
"Haha, no, it just always causes trouble."
"Trouble? What kind of trouble? Doooo you sleep in a cardboard box? Have voyeurs for roommates? Are you married? Wtf??"
"I do have 2 roommates, ya. And no, I'm not married, but I do have a gf."
"You're joking, right?"
"I don't lie."
"Well you failed to mention that when we met. That's considered a lie of omission. Now you're saying you wanna hook up again?? Clearly, something isn't right in your so-called relationship. Perhaps you should spend some time figuring that out instead of cheating on your gf. Because I don't want any part of that."
"That's fine, I respect that. I'm not trying to do anything you're not comfortable with. It's a long distance thing, and she's weird, but it is what it is."
This went on for a while, him basically making up excuses, and trying to convince me that it's okay for him to cheat, and me trying to explain that while maybe he thinks it's ok, I do not, and it's totally not cool that he made me a party to his cheating without even telling me! Then he was like, "Ok well you don't have to be so mean about it" and I was basically like, "HA! I'm not going to apologize for what I said. I was just being honest. You're the one who is in the wrong, not me."
After that I fell asleep, because it was late. He sent me like 3 more texts saying I should just let it go and not be mad cuz that will make me miserable. ((Eye roll)) What a dolt! Ugh. I'm not even mad really, I'm just so disgusted. I guess now I have to flat out ask every guy I meet if he's actually single!? And I'm really surprised that after my initial reaction of disapproval, he continued to text me as if he either cares what I think, or he still thinks he has a chance of hooking up with me. In fucking September!
I seriously don't understand dudes... I mean he is younger than most of the guys I date/hook up with, but I knew going into it that it was just a one night thing, I wasn't expecting anything else. Certainly not that he'd end up having a girlfriend! ((Sigh))
I made sure to ask Chris if he was single the other night. He gave me a weird look and confirmed that he is, in fact single. What a relief.
Speaking of the sex dept, that guy I hooked up with from Austin a couple weeks ago, the half Chinese really beautiful one with the longish hair? He texted me the other day asking me when I was coming to Austin and we were chatting for a bit. He made some comment about us sleeping in "my bed" and I was like, "Uh, what about YOUR bed? You're the one who lives in Austin, not me."
And he said, "Nah, I never let people sleep in my bed." RED FLAG!
So I said, "Why? Do you have a thing for bedwetters or something?" Trying to keep it light.
"Haha, no, it just always causes trouble."
"Trouble? What kind of trouble? Doooo you sleep in a cardboard box? Have voyeurs for roommates? Are you married? Wtf??"
"I do have 2 roommates, ya. And no, I'm not married, but I do have a gf."
"You're joking, right?"
"I don't lie."
"Well you failed to mention that when we met. That's considered a lie of omission. Now you're saying you wanna hook up again?? Clearly, something isn't right in your so-called relationship. Perhaps you should spend some time figuring that out instead of cheating on your gf. Because I don't want any part of that."
"That's fine, I respect that. I'm not trying to do anything you're not comfortable with. It's a long distance thing, and she's weird, but it is what it is."
This went on for a while, him basically making up excuses, and trying to convince me that it's okay for him to cheat, and me trying to explain that while maybe he thinks it's ok, I do not, and it's totally not cool that he made me a party to his cheating without even telling me! Then he was like, "Ok well you don't have to be so mean about it" and I was basically like, "HA! I'm not going to apologize for what I said. I was just being honest. You're the one who is in the wrong, not me."
After that I fell asleep, because it was late. He sent me like 3 more texts saying I should just let it go and not be mad cuz that will make me miserable. ((Eye roll)) What a dolt! Ugh. I'm not even mad really, I'm just so disgusted. I guess now I have to flat out ask every guy I meet if he's actually single!? And I'm really surprised that after my initial reaction of disapproval, he continued to text me as if he either cares what I think, or he still thinks he has a chance of hooking up with me. In fucking September!
I seriously don't understand dudes... I mean he is younger than most of the guys I date/hook up with, but I knew going into it that it was just a one night thing, I wasn't expecting anything else. Certainly not that he'd end up having a girlfriend! ((Sigh))
I made sure to ask Chris if he was single the other night. He gave me a weird look and confirmed that he is, in fact single. What a relief.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Blah
Well I haven't seen or spoken to Adam since that night, so clearly, that's over. Chris is still in California, ugh... Not a whole lot has been going on, actually. I'm fostering a 3 week old kitten who needs bottle feeding, and that's about all the excitement I've got right now! The kitten is really cute though. He's tiny with HUGE eyes and teeny nose, and a cute little pot belly. Lol. Anyway, I did have a one night stand with a really hot guy in town from Austin a couple weekends ago. He's half Chinese, half white, with shoulder length hair, and he's gorgeous. But of course, he doesn't live here. I might see him again though, because Bethany's bachelorette party is gonna be in Austin, and I mentioned it to him. We exchanged numbers, but haven't talked since I dropped him off at the airport the next morning. So we'll see.
I've been texting on and off with this guy, Kyle, I met here in NOLA on my 30th bday. I briefly mentioned him in my blog 2 years ago. We met on my bday, and really hit it off, and exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth for quite a while, but I went back to Chicago, so it fizzled after a while. But we've texted here and there over the past 2 years, and it's picked up a bit more recently. We actually haven't even seen each other since the night we met. He was in flight school for a while, and now he's...well I dunno where he is exactly. In Louisiana, but not in New Orleans. I have a feeling we may see each other soon though. I hope so anyway. There's a lot of chemistry there.
Ok enough about guys. Sophie is moving in when my roommate's lease is up and I'm really excited! We have all these plans. We're gonna paint and redecorate, and throw a party! And it'll be nice having her around. Although we haven't actually lived together since we were both under our parents' roof. I think it'll be good though. We (generally) travel well together, so I think we'll live well together.
My birthday is coming up again in a couple weeks. I can't believe I'm gonna be 32. I feel like I should have accomplished so much more by this point. ((Sigh)) It's probably gonna be an uneventful birthday. I'm gonna do brunch with Bethany and Lauren, just the 3 of us, since my cousins will be out of town, and Carrie and Taryn both have too much going on to make the trip up from Houston, apparently.
Anyway, I guess that's it really. Hopefully things get more exciting around here soon!
I've been texting on and off with this guy, Kyle, I met here in NOLA on my 30th bday. I briefly mentioned him in my blog 2 years ago. We met on my bday, and really hit it off, and exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth for quite a while, but I went back to Chicago, so it fizzled after a while. But we've texted here and there over the past 2 years, and it's picked up a bit more recently. We actually haven't even seen each other since the night we met. He was in flight school for a while, and now he's...well I dunno where he is exactly. In Louisiana, but not in New Orleans. I have a feeling we may see each other soon though. I hope so anyway. There's a lot of chemistry there.
Ok enough about guys. Sophie is moving in when my roommate's lease is up and I'm really excited! We have all these plans. We're gonna paint and redecorate, and throw a party! And it'll be nice having her around. Although we haven't actually lived together since we were both under our parents' roof. I think it'll be good though. We (generally) travel well together, so I think we'll live well together.
My birthday is coming up again in a couple weeks. I can't believe I'm gonna be 32. I feel like I should have accomplished so much more by this point. ((Sigh)) It's probably gonna be an uneventful birthday. I'm gonna do brunch with Bethany and Lauren, just the 3 of us, since my cousins will be out of town, and Carrie and Taryn both have too much going on to make the trip up from Houston, apparently.
Anyway, I guess that's it really. Hopefully things get more exciting around here soon!
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