So much has happened in 2 days, I dunno if I'll be able to cram it all in!
Ok, first of all, Brandon spent the night Friday and Sunday night! I think I already recapped Friday. Well, nothing happened on Friday anyway so, Sunday!
I had the day off, which was nice, and definitely well deserved. I slept in super late, and then went up to my bar to meet Nick and some coworkers. I called Brandon on my way there, and he said he'd meet up with me when he was done studying.
So we hung out there all day, and then Brandon and I headed back to my place around 12:30am. He'd been acting a little...distant through out the day I noticed. He kept leaving to talk to other people for long periods of time. But that's fine, I mean he's gonna be working with us soon, and it's good for him to get to know people I guess. So we get back to my place and I put on Across The Universe. He pretty much fell asleep, with his head on
my shoulder while we were sitting on the couch. So when the movie ended, I suggested we go to bed.
So when we got in bed, I started to get really impatient, wondering if he was ever going to kiss me. And there he was, laying right next to me, not doing a damn thing! So I started huffing. Lol. And then he asked me what was wrong. And I started giving him shit about how he must be afraid of me or something, and then suddenly, he was kissing me.
Finally!
And it was actually kind of anticlimactic. ((sigh)) I mean, we kissed for a while, and I just kept waiting for that feeling, that first kiss swooning feeling, to hit me....but it never did. :(
And I dunno if it's just because of all the waiting, and the built up anticipation, or if it's just because we don't have chemistry. But it's so frustrating!! GRRRRR!!!
So he left the next day, and I actually haven't seen him since. I mean we've talked, but he had a test this week, and he went into work late on Monday cuz his alarm didn't go off, so he's been studying and going to bed early this week. At least, that's what he's been telling me. And I've been working. And I talked to Melissa about it. She says I always do this. I really like a guy, and I chase him, and I let him chase me, and then as soon as it happens, BAM! I lose interest. And she's sort of right, but I'm not sure if I agree that it's self-sabotage. I mean, if that was the case, he'd at least be calling me still, right??? And I haven't heard from him all day. He used to send me "good morning" text messages. Haven't gotten one of those either. ((sigh)) Oh well. I'm just gonna leave him alone for a while and see what happens.
In other news! Last night, Bethany, and Tug and I went to the Ghostland Observatory show at the new House of Blues! It was AWESOME! We had so much fun! It turned out that a group of our coworkers were there, so we hung out in their booth with them, which had an amazing view, and guess who was there?? John.
The ups and downs with him never seem to end...
So after the show, we all went back to our bar for a couple drinks, and John wasn't there. I figured he'd gone home. Then Bethany, Tug and I went to BW3's for some grub and trivia and ended up staying there for about an hour. When we went back to our bar to close out our tabs there he was! With his bike in tow. Apparently he'd gone home to get his bike or whatever, and when he game back, the rest of the crew was gone. So we were all standing around talking, and he offered me a shot. I said yes, of course, and we went inside. Bethany and Tug went home, and then it was just me and John.
We took a shot, and had a couple drinks and just talked for a while. It was kind of nice actually. Because both of us were sober, unlike every other time we hang out. Then it started pouring down rain! So John moved his bike inside through the back door. I ended up taking him back to my place, since he couldn't drive his bike. Don gave us a lot of shit as we were leaving, saying stupid things like, "Be safe! Use a condom!"
I yelled at him to shutup. When we got back to my apartment, I put on a movie (John wanted to watch 21) and we just made ourselves comfortable in bed. Before long, John was passed out, and my eyes were fighting to stay open. So I turned off the movie and went to sleep. And that was that! Just like last time. No kissing, no cuddling, no touching even! But I knew what to expect this time around, so it wasn't that weird. And I think I might be starting to get over him. All the runaround, the up and downs, the games, the ambiguity... It's gotten old. I just don't wanna do it anymore.
Tall Dark and Handsome still texts me btw... I'm not even really sure why, because he never texts me to make plans! He just asks what I'm doing! That's getting pretty old too. If he doesn't ask me out soon, I'm going to delete his phone number. I think I've just had it up to here with guys who can't make up their minds. I don't want someone who doesn't know what they want! I want a guy who's sure. A guy who's attractive, smart, funny, and nice. Somebody I can be myself with.
And do you know who I just described??
Todd.
Oh, and did I mention that Melissa and I are going to Dallas this weekend to see his game? I'm so excited!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Waiting It Out
Brandon and I hung out Wednesday and Thursday night. Thursday, after we went out, we went to IHOP with Bethany and Brandon's roommate, because they had ridden together. Afterwards, he told his roommate to wait while he walked me to my car. I was so sure he was going to kiss me, but it was like he wouldn't come closer to me than 3 feet! And then his stupid roommate pulled around the corner and started honking his horn. ((sigh)) So no kiss. But he did call me when he got home, and we ended up talking on the phone till almost 7am Friday morning!
So Friday night, I had to work, obviously, and Brandon went out with his sister. After work, a couple people were hangin' out, drinking beer, and Brandon calls me. He's at his sister's apartment with Jayme and his roommate and he wants me to come over.
Well, I was sitting at a table outside with John, Mark and Blinn, and they were all talking about going over to Blinn's for drinks and poker. So I was really torn. Brandon? Or John?
AH!
So I told Brandon I was gonna chill for a minute, and finish my beer, and then give him a call in a little bit. So we all walked out to the parking lot after a while, and John asks me if I'm ready for that motorcycle ride.
"Well that depends," I said, "Is is a one way ticket? Are you gonna drive me back here to my car?"
"I can." He said, "Or we can just take a ride around the block and then I can bring you back over here if you want."
"Well if you just wanna get this over with, then sure!" I said teasingly.
"Ok, some other time then." He grinned.
So I walked to my car, and he got on his bike, and we all headed over to Blinn's.
We hung out and drank, smoked a little...the usual. But I couldn't stop thinking about Brandon. ((Sigh)) AND John. John was acting very....elusive. Confusing. He's just so hard to read. And it drives me crazy! I mean, I don't wanna wait around for some guy who's possibly not sure how he feels about me! And even if he is sure of his feelings for me, the least he could do is act on them in some way, shape or form! And not just when he's drunk.
So I decided to duck out early. I called Brandon and asked him if he still wanted to hang out. But he said that everyone had already left, and he was just gonna crash on his sister's couch. So I figured, what the hell! And I invited him over.
When we got to my apartment, he immediately started playing with Oliver. And Oliver loves him! It's so cute how Brandon talks to him. Lol. I swear, it was like I was competing for his attention. Haha. By the time we went to bed, the sun was up, and still no kiss. Not even a suggestive touch! ((huff!)) I was starting to second guess myself!
We laid there and talked for a while, and I was teasing him about being stand-offish. And he said something along the lines of, "I just don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. I like to take my time with people. Not just get in, bang bang! get out. I mean I used to do that, but I'm not like that anymore and I just....don't want you to see me that way. I dunno...I guess I'm just rambling."
We passed out soon afterwards and I woke up this morning not even remembering having made the decision to go to sleep. In fact, the whole time we were talking, all I kept thinking about was how I was just gonna kiss him and get it over with! Break the ice! Ya know? Because I really wanted to! But I never plucked up the courage. Oh well...
So we got up around 2pm, lol, and I made corndogs and we watched Seinfeld. Then I walked him out to his car, because my mom was on her way over. STILL no kiss.
Well my mom and I had plans to go to this wig shop by my house. We got there about 30 minutes before they closed, and she tried on several different wigs. It was really interesting to see her with all these hip hairstyles! Lol, it almost made me wanna try one on!
So I spent the afternoon with my mom; we went the bookstore, and out to dinner after the wig shopping. And almost the entire time, Brandon was texting me.
First I asked him what he wanted me to think of him. You know since he doesn't want me to think he's a manwhore, or a player, but he won't kiss me either! It's like he thinks I'm the plague! Lol.
His response?
"I don't know, but I like to take my time with people. But for your information, I like you and want to see you again."
Me: That's cool, I like to take my time too. Well, I try, but I'm just kind of impatient by nature."
B: Well, you don't always have to be the one that makes all the moves you know. But I'm not going to keep doing this if that is what you think.
Me: Oh really?? Well then what ARE you going to do?
B: I don't know, but I want to see you again. And I left my watch over there, so I guess that means I HAVE to see you again!
B: Maybe I can stay with you tonight??
Me: Sure
That's pretty much the gyst of it. He didn't end up staying tonight though, obviously. I mean it's Saturday and we do inventory and we didn't get out of there till late. I talked to him around 3:30am and he was already in bed. Apparently he has to take some clients out golfing at 9am. Lol. But he told me he's gonna call me when he's done and then we're gonna hang out.
Sunday's are my friend days though. So he's just gonna have to put up with me AND Bethany, cuz we always do Sunday Fundays together.
But we'll just have to wait and see how tomorrow pans out. Maybe one of these days I'll get a kiss.
Before I move on to the next part of this post, let me just describe Brandon to you. He's not as tall as I would like, but he has the most beautiful smile! Big, beautiful, perfectly straight white teeth. ((sigh)) And his hair is kinda long, shaggy and glossy dark brown, almost black. He looks really Native American. He says he's Cherokee. He has the nice olive skin, and high cheekbones too. But he has a very boyish look about him that I like. Anyways, that's pretty much it I suppose. So, moving on!
Melissa and I are taking a road trip to Dallas to go see Todd's football game next weekend! I'm so excited! We haven't really gotten to hang out in a while, plus it's been forever since I've driven anywhere besides Austin. And I've yet to see one of Todd's games!
Oh, and guess what else? Todd and his girlfriend broke up!!!!!!
So Friday night, I had to work, obviously, and Brandon went out with his sister. After work, a couple people were hangin' out, drinking beer, and Brandon calls me. He's at his sister's apartment with Jayme and his roommate and he wants me to come over.
Well, I was sitting at a table outside with John, Mark and Blinn, and they were all talking about going over to Blinn's for drinks and poker. So I was really torn. Brandon? Or John?
AH!
So I told Brandon I was gonna chill for a minute, and finish my beer, and then give him a call in a little bit. So we all walked out to the parking lot after a while, and John asks me if I'm ready for that motorcycle ride.
"Well that depends," I said, "Is is a one way ticket? Are you gonna drive me back here to my car?"
"I can." He said, "Or we can just take a ride around the block and then I can bring you back over here if you want."
"Well if you just wanna get this over with, then sure!" I said teasingly.
"Ok, some other time then." He grinned.
So I walked to my car, and he got on his bike, and we all headed over to Blinn's.
We hung out and drank, smoked a little...the usual. But I couldn't stop thinking about Brandon. ((Sigh)) AND John. John was acting very....elusive. Confusing. He's just so hard to read. And it drives me crazy! I mean, I don't wanna wait around for some guy who's possibly not sure how he feels about me! And even if he is sure of his feelings for me, the least he could do is act on them in some way, shape or form! And not just when he's drunk.
So I decided to duck out early. I called Brandon and asked him if he still wanted to hang out. But he said that everyone had already left, and he was just gonna crash on his sister's couch. So I figured, what the hell! And I invited him over.
When we got to my apartment, he immediately started playing with Oliver. And Oliver loves him! It's so cute how Brandon talks to him. Lol. I swear, it was like I was competing for his attention. Haha. By the time we went to bed, the sun was up, and still no kiss. Not even a suggestive touch! ((huff!)) I was starting to second guess myself!
We laid there and talked for a while, and I was teasing him about being stand-offish. And he said something along the lines of, "I just don't want you to get the wrong impression of me. I like to take my time with people. Not just get in, bang bang! get out. I mean I used to do that, but I'm not like that anymore and I just....don't want you to see me that way. I dunno...I guess I'm just rambling."
We passed out soon afterwards and I woke up this morning not even remembering having made the decision to go to sleep. In fact, the whole time we were talking, all I kept thinking about was how I was just gonna kiss him and get it over with! Break the ice! Ya know? Because I really wanted to! But I never plucked up the courage. Oh well...
So we got up around 2pm, lol, and I made corndogs and we watched Seinfeld. Then I walked him out to his car, because my mom was on her way over. STILL no kiss.
Well my mom and I had plans to go to this wig shop by my house. We got there about 30 minutes before they closed, and she tried on several different wigs. It was really interesting to see her with all these hip hairstyles! Lol, it almost made me wanna try one on!
So I spent the afternoon with my mom; we went the bookstore, and out to dinner after the wig shopping. And almost the entire time, Brandon was texting me.
First I asked him what he wanted me to think of him. You know since he doesn't want me to think he's a manwhore, or a player, but he won't kiss me either! It's like he thinks I'm the plague! Lol.
His response?
"I don't know, but I like to take my time with people. But for your information, I like you and want to see you again."
Me: That's cool, I like to take my time too. Well, I try, but I'm just kind of impatient by nature."
B: Well, you don't always have to be the one that makes all the moves you know. But I'm not going to keep doing this if that is what you think.
Me: Oh really?? Well then what ARE you going to do?
B: I don't know, but I want to see you again. And I left my watch over there, so I guess that means I HAVE to see you again!
B: Maybe I can stay with you tonight??
Me: Sure
That's pretty much the gyst of it. He didn't end up staying tonight though, obviously. I mean it's Saturday and we do inventory and we didn't get out of there till late. I talked to him around 3:30am and he was already in bed. Apparently he has to take some clients out golfing at 9am. Lol. But he told me he's gonna call me when he's done and then we're gonna hang out.
Sunday's are my friend days though. So he's just gonna have to put up with me AND Bethany, cuz we always do Sunday Fundays together.
But we'll just have to wait and see how tomorrow pans out. Maybe one of these days I'll get a kiss.
Before I move on to the next part of this post, let me just describe Brandon to you. He's not as tall as I would like, but he has the most beautiful smile! Big, beautiful, perfectly straight white teeth. ((sigh)) And his hair is kinda long, shaggy and glossy dark brown, almost black. He looks really Native American. He says he's Cherokee. He has the nice olive skin, and high cheekbones too. But he has a very boyish look about him that I like. Anyways, that's pretty much it I suppose. So, moving on!
Melissa and I are taking a road trip to Dallas to go see Todd's football game next weekend! I'm so excited! We haven't really gotten to hang out in a while, plus it's been forever since I've driven anywhere besides Austin. And I've yet to see one of Todd's games!
Oh, and guess what else? Todd and his girlfriend broke up!!!!!!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Joy Ride
Yesterday was very exhausting, but totally worth it! I went with Mark to his parent's ranch in Katy and rode horses all day! It was so nice to be back in the saddle, although my ass is paying for it now... Lol. But it was fun, and relaxing, and the weather was perfect! When I got home, I was tired, so I laid around for a while and watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Then Brandon called.
We ended up hanging out last night, and it was fun. But his height really bothers me! He's so hot, I wish he were taller. Oh well. So we smoked a little, and I was super high, but we had a really good time. We stopped into my bar to say hi to Bethany. On our way out I noticed a bike sitting out front that looked a lot like John's. I asked Gavin if he knew whose bike it was, but he said it was just some guy's. Hmm. Still haven't seen or heard from John since...well since last Friday! Anyways, at the end of the night Brandon walked me to my car and we stood there, kind of awkwardly. We were parked right next to each other, but I was facing forwards, and he was facing backwards, so our doors were against each other. So anyways, I'm standing there with my door open, and he's standing there with his door open... It was awkward. I mean, I couldn't tell if he was interested or not! And I mean, I wanted him to kiss me, sort of, or at least give me a hug goodbye, but he was being so stand-offish. So finally, I broke the silence.
"Well, I'll be out tomorrow so..."
"Yea, I'll be at the shot bar with my roommate." He said.
"Ok. Well...call me then."
"Ok." He said.
Then I got in my car and shut the door.
As I was driving home I wrote him a text, "Well what was that?"
B: I don't know!!! What did u want me to do?
Me: Lmao. I don't know, SOMETHING!!
B: Well I'm sorry I guess I didn't know if u wanted me to do something
Me: Well what were you leaning towards?
B: I wanted to kiss u but didn't want to get dissed!!
Me: Lol well you never know till you take a chance, right?
B: Yeah u are so right
Me: Well then why didn't you?
B: I don't know! I guess I didn't get that same vibe from u. I thought I was making an ass of myself.
Me: Lol well the vibe you were probably getting was HIGHHHH! you weren't making an ass of yourself.
B: That's cool. Didn't know if I was or not. But I was just trying to see u smile and laugh... :) :)
So that was that. He texted me this morning with, "Hey good morning. I woke up late, wanted to sleep in a bit. Had fun last night."
THEN he texted me again just a little while ago telling me he got a job at my bar as a door guy!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That means he and John are gonna be working together!!!!
COULD THIS BE ANY WORSE FOR ME?!?!?! I mean, I knew he had applied there, but he just wants to get his foot in the door cuz he's in bartending school right now. Ughhh...this sucks. I mean, why does he wanna bartend anyway?? He has a day job at an engineering firm!
((Sigh))
I'm gonna see him again tonight, you know for our original plans.
I wonder if John will be at work today...
Then Brandon called.
We ended up hanging out last night, and it was fun. But his height really bothers me! He's so hot, I wish he were taller. Oh well. So we smoked a little, and I was super high, but we had a really good time. We stopped into my bar to say hi to Bethany. On our way out I noticed a bike sitting out front that looked a lot like John's. I asked Gavin if he knew whose bike it was, but he said it was just some guy's. Hmm. Still haven't seen or heard from John since...well since last Friday! Anyways, at the end of the night Brandon walked me to my car and we stood there, kind of awkwardly. We were parked right next to each other, but I was facing forwards, and he was facing backwards, so our doors were against each other. So anyways, I'm standing there with my door open, and he's standing there with his door open... It was awkward. I mean, I couldn't tell if he was interested or not! And I mean, I wanted him to kiss me, sort of, or at least give me a hug goodbye, but he was being so stand-offish. So finally, I broke the silence.
"Well, I'll be out tomorrow so..."
"Yea, I'll be at the shot bar with my roommate." He said.
"Ok. Well...call me then."
"Ok." He said.
Then I got in my car and shut the door.
As I was driving home I wrote him a text, "Well what was that?"
B: I don't know!!! What did u want me to do?
Me: Lmao. I don't know, SOMETHING!!
B: Well I'm sorry I guess I didn't know if u wanted me to do something
Me: Well what were you leaning towards?
B: I wanted to kiss u but didn't want to get dissed!!
Me: Lol well you never know till you take a chance, right?
B: Yeah u are so right
Me: Well then why didn't you?
B: I don't know! I guess I didn't get that same vibe from u. I thought I was making an ass of myself.
Me: Lol well the vibe you were probably getting was HIGHHHH! you weren't making an ass of yourself.
B: That's cool. Didn't know if I was or not. But I was just trying to see u smile and laugh... :) :)
So that was that. He texted me this morning with, "Hey good morning. I woke up late, wanted to sleep in a bit. Had fun last night."
THEN he texted me again just a little while ago telling me he got a job at my bar as a door guy!!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That means he and John are gonna be working together!!!!
COULD THIS BE ANY WORSE FOR ME?!?!?! I mean, I knew he had applied there, but he just wants to get his foot in the door cuz he's in bartending school right now. Ughhh...this sucks. I mean, why does he wanna bartend anyway?? He has a day job at an engineering firm!
((Sigh))
I'm gonna see him again tonight, you know for our original plans.
I wonder if John will be at work today...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Decisions, Decisions...
Ok, quick update!
TDH bailed on our not exactly a date date. So I went out with Evan instead.
John has been oddly distant, but that could just be because he took off work Saturday, and I haven't seen him in a while.
TDH still texts me on a daily basis, but I can't really figure out why, since he doesn't seem to wanna make any definite plans.
And, there's a new guy in the picture.
One of the bartenders at the shot bar, her name is Summer, it's her brother. His name is Brandon. He's definitely attractive, but not as tall as I would like. But the thing I do really like about him is HE ACTUALLY CALLS ME!
And in a texting world girls, that's hard to find. I mean literally, the first day after he got my number, he called me and asked me to hang out Thursday. So! I have plans with Brandon on Thursday. Oh, and he's a lot of fun. He's goofy, and we like to give each other shit and tease each other. It's fun.
So that's that with the boys!
In other news, my mom started chemotherapy yesterday. She decided to go ahead with the chemo, because I guess the surgeon told her she needed it. And I talked to her on the phone while she was there, with the IV in her arm. She sounded so horrible it was heart breaking. I almost started crying in the grocery store. I never thought this would be so hard. I mean my job is to be strong for my mom, make her laugh, and take her mind off the bad stuff. And I'm pretty good at doing that actually! I can always make my mom laugh. But when I'm not with her, it's gut wrenching. I mean every time we get off the phone it's like...it's like a waterfall of emotions, worry, stress, sadness, regret all just comes crashing down on me. ((sigh))
It's so hard.
And finally, I'm thinking about going back to school. At the Art Institute. I spoke to someone on the phone today about the photography program, and I set up a meeting on Saturday. They wanna see my portfolio, and go over some of the classes and give me a tour. My mom is going with me too, and she's really glad I'm looking into it. I'm actually excited about it too! I mean I would really love to learn some new Photoshop stuff! I would have to get a whole 'nother bachelor's degree, which might take me a while, but at least it would be something I have a chance of using! And I think I'll really enjoy it. So...I think it might be a good idea.
I'm sorry I haven't been good about writing lately. It's just that they have me working 5 nights a week now, and when I do get a night off, I just wanna go out with my friends, ya know?
Last night was my coworker, Taryn's birthday, so Alyssa and I went out for that. Oh, and she's the one that's dating the famous pro-athlete. So he was there and I got to meet him. That was pretty awesome! Evan was so jealous! Haha...
Well, Oliver is literally running laps around my living room right now, and it's such a beautiful night! I'm gonna go take him for a walk.
TDH bailed on our not exactly a date date. So I went out with Evan instead.
John has been oddly distant, but that could just be because he took off work Saturday, and I haven't seen him in a while.
TDH still texts me on a daily basis, but I can't really figure out why, since he doesn't seem to wanna make any definite plans.
And, there's a new guy in the picture.
One of the bartenders at the shot bar, her name is Summer, it's her brother. His name is Brandon. He's definitely attractive, but not as tall as I would like. But the thing I do really like about him is HE ACTUALLY CALLS ME!
And in a texting world girls, that's hard to find. I mean literally, the first day after he got my number, he called me and asked me to hang out Thursday. So! I have plans with Brandon on Thursday. Oh, and he's a lot of fun. He's goofy, and we like to give each other shit and tease each other. It's fun.
So that's that with the boys!
In other news, my mom started chemotherapy yesterday. She decided to go ahead with the chemo, because I guess the surgeon told her she needed it. And I talked to her on the phone while she was there, with the IV in her arm. She sounded so horrible it was heart breaking. I almost started crying in the grocery store. I never thought this would be so hard. I mean my job is to be strong for my mom, make her laugh, and take her mind off the bad stuff. And I'm pretty good at doing that actually! I can always make my mom laugh. But when I'm not with her, it's gut wrenching. I mean every time we get off the phone it's like...it's like a waterfall of emotions, worry, stress, sadness, regret all just comes crashing down on me. ((sigh))
It's so hard.
And finally, I'm thinking about going back to school. At the Art Institute. I spoke to someone on the phone today about the photography program, and I set up a meeting on Saturday. They wanna see my portfolio, and go over some of the classes and give me a tour. My mom is going with me too, and she's really glad I'm looking into it. I'm actually excited about it too! I mean I would really love to learn some new Photoshop stuff! I would have to get a whole 'nother bachelor's degree, which might take me a while, but at least it would be something I have a chance of using! And I think I'll really enjoy it. So...I think it might be a good idea.
I'm sorry I haven't been good about writing lately. It's just that they have me working 5 nights a week now, and when I do get a night off, I just wanna go out with my friends, ya know?
Last night was my coworker, Taryn's birthday, so Alyssa and I went out for that. Oh, and she's the one that's dating the famous pro-athlete. So he was there and I got to meet him. That was pretty awesome! Evan was so jealous! Haha...
Well, Oliver is literally running laps around my living room right now, and it's such a beautiful night! I'm gonna go take him for a walk.
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