My Drunk Date

Well I guess I was gonna have to write about this sooner or later, so I'd rather do it now. My date last night started off great. He ordered and Uber car, and asked me if I would like him to pick me up, which was very nice of him and unexpected. So I said sure, why not. It was pretty easy to talk to him, although there were a couple of awkward silences. But the biggest problem is that I think he may be a raging alcoholic. I had two drinks. TWO. DRINKS. He had eight beers and a snifter a Grand Marnier. He was on his third beer when I was only halfway done with my first drink. I asked him if he normally drinks so fast, or if he was just nervous or something. I can't remember what he said. But the drunker he got, the louder, more attention-seeking and weird he got. Seriously, he kept randomly standing up and singing and dancing, and then loudly apologizing to all the people around us who were starting (rightfully so). The third or fourth time he went to the bathroom, he came back with two rolls of toilet paper down his shirt. WTF!? Of course this caught the attention of even more people. Also, he kept asking me to take pictures of him doing all these weird things! And then he wanted me to send him the pictures. ((rolling my eyes))
Then some random girl came over and asked if she could take our picture! When I asked her why she said she just wanted a picture of us because it was our first date, and she though that was "nice". Then she hugged me and whispered that she hopes I don't go out with him again, because I seem really nice, and I'm too pretty for him, and he's a crazy, drunk loser. Ugh... Then he started getting all googly-eyed at me, and I'd be trying to have a conversation with him and he'd interject with, "God you're so beautiful. Why are you so beautiful. You have no idea how much I just wanna make out with you right now."
UGH.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. So after two and a half hours of watching him getting progressively more wasted, I said I was tired and ready to go home. He left the waitress less than 10%, even though he told me he used to bartend. I slipped her another $10 as we were leaving. Good thing I checked to make sure he took care of her! Then he insisted we split a cab, and he wouldn't let me pay, which again, was nice, but at that point, no amount of chivalry could have made up for the rest of the night. He sent me two more text messages that night, probably while he was still in the cab.

1) "You got me!"
2) "Why are you so attractive?"

I didn't respond, for obvious reasons. Then at 8 o'clock this morning he sent me this: "Fuck...I'm sorry. No excuses, I'm just a douchebag :/ "

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!! Is this really what dating is like now?! SERIOUSLY!?!?! I'm not sure I want any part of this. John texted me this morning too, to tell me his plans to come here have to be "postponed" because he got another work assignment that starts on the 18th. ((Sigh)) What a waste of a bikini wax.