Monday, June 1, 2009

Multiple Choice Test

He wants me back.
I just know it.
We haven't actually talked yet, but there are plans to.
I just don't know what I'm gonna say, because...I haven't decided yet!
I know that I love him, and I miss him, but what I don't know is if he is right for me! I know most of you think that he's not, but in the end it's up to me to decide.

I never called him back this morning. I called Melissa and asked her advice. She said to wait until late in the afternoon. But he ended up texting me again before I even got to call him.
It was another "Hey how are you doing" text.
"I'm good, I've been at the pool all day with Melissa. I'm taking Jasper to class now. I was gonna call you afterwards." I said.
He said "Ok that's cool."
So I called him after class. He was eating out somewhere with one of his friends, and I could hardly hear anything he was saying. And I really wasn't in the mood for small talk.
"So...what did you wanna talk to me about?" I asked.
"Just about...everything in general and..." This is where I stopped being able to understand him.
"I can't understand you, hello?" I said.
"Yea, how 'bout you just call me back when you're somewhere that you can talk cuz, I can't hear you at all." I said.
"Ok then." He said.

And that was it. After Jasper's class, I headed over to my parents house. My Aunt Josie and 2 little cousins were on their way in from Louisiana, so I thought spending the night at my parents' house would be fun, and a good distraction. But before I even made it there, he texted me again.
"Do you wanna make this work out between us?"
As I was contemplating a response, he sent me another one.
"I know why I was driving you away."
Since I was driving, I couldn't respond as quickly as normal.
"I don't wanna have this conversation thru text messages." I said.
"I know, that's why I wanna meet with you when I get back [from Lake Charles]. I'm only going there for one day." He said.
"Ok well then let's just talk about it then." I said coolly.
"Ok I can't wait." He said.

He can't wait??? He better have had some sort of life-altering revelation or something! Because I don't see how he could have possibly changed in 4 days. And if we are going to work things out, a lot of things are going to have to change.
And here is the list:
1) I need him to open up and tell me how he feels. No more guessing.
2) I don't want to always feel like I'm being starved for attention.
3) I'm not gonna put up with the break up/make up thing anymore. I just can't keep doing this.
4) I'm not going to be the only one making all the effort anymore. He needs to make more time for me, make some plans, he needs to call me more, he needs to not keep everything to himself all the time.
5) No more telling me I "expect too much". I am right to have expectations, and those aren't going to change. I'm not going to lower my standards just so that he can meet them.
6) I don't wanna feel like I'm always prying, always asking too many questions. I shouldn't have to feel that way.
7) I need to know that he sees some sort of future with me, because I'm not going to continue to waste my time if he doesn't.

So those are the major things I'm going to address with him. Anything you guys think I should add?

I was right about my family being a good distraction. I had fun goofing off with Lily and Shawn. But apparently Brandon was just determined to keep my mind on him! He sent me a text around 11 that said, "Goodnight Sweetheart", and then another one at midnight that said he made it to Lake Charles alright and he misses me.
He's practically acting like we're already back together! What makes him think I'm just gonna go back with him!?
In fact...I just might have a date this week. I recently met a guy, who just moved here, fresh out of law school, really cute, really fun, very outgoing, and we totally hit it off on the friend level. I mean when we first met, things were fine with Brandon and I, so he was totally off my radar, but he came into the bar, and was just talking to me about how he doesn't know anyone in Houston. It was slow that night too, so I talked to him for a couple hours and he seemed really cool.
And now that I'm technically single, I'm free to hang out with whoever I want, completely guilt-free!
So me and Law School have tentative plans to hang out this week, away from the bar.
This should be interesting...


Anonymous said...

branden is just playing some game with you. maybe its subconscious and he is not really aware of it, but he definitely is. when you are together, he doesn't really want you, when you aren't together he does want you.

he's being really unstable. the only way you can have a good relationship is if you are with someone stable who KNOWS FOR SURE that they want to be with you.

i really, really think that you should not consider getting back with him until AFTER you get back from Europe. you REALLY need to take a REAL break (not four or five days) to figure things out.

hang out with whoever you want. do some soul searching or whatever. and keep your options open.

this will also give branden substantial time to actually miss you, and not feel like he can keep playing this cat and mouse game. that's exactly what he's doing (remember he said he was bored?) and you need to put an end to it, because it's not fair to you. otherwise it's just going to keep going on and on, until he finds another girl thats more exciting to him.

please don't let him leave you high and dry again. YOU need to take control of your own heart and life!!! you need to be the one to call the shots.

if you get back together with him this week, it's just going to end badly again eventually. and you really will have no one to blame but yourself..

Anonymous said...

All i have to say is if you deal with the points you want to in this last post with him and he says he will try harder. he says he knows why he is pushing you away and will fix it, it seems like you both love each other then I say follow your heart, my guy was like that and five years letter things are perfect but we are still together. If you follow your heart it will work. It shows he is willing by the fact he text you daily.

Anonymous said...

Ditto Anon!! You said everything I would have. She is still young and unlike us older ppl you live and learn.

Can't say how many times looking back wish I had done things different (but that's part of growing up).

So funny when you were working that night and stay away from him, everything changed. It's like he can't have what he use to have.

That's what is going on here for sure. And don't be so AVAILABLE when he text or whatever. That SHOWS you aren't in control.

Make him wait 2-3 days so he can be just as miserable as you are. Make him see what it feels like.

Us older folks now a few things and when you get much older you will know that.

Like anon says don't even discuss the relationship until Europe is over, and definately go OUT with the hunk.

Just me said...

It's really very simple....guys like the chase.

He's loving the fact that he's gotta WORK to get your attention. Once yall are back together and all you're back to being the attentive girlfriend, he'll get bored again.

There's nothing wrong with being attentive.....unless you're dealing with a person who only loves the chase. And it really sounds like Brandon only likes the chase.

Just like everyone else said....take your time. Don't let your guard down as easily. Yes we know ultimately, the decision is up to you but just keep some sort of wall up with him, atleast in the beginning hun.