Summer's End

Ahhh the last couple weeks have been exhausting...
Austin was great. I had such an amazing time with Izzie and Jenna...not to mention, Izzie's daughter referred to me as "Mermaid" the whole time I was there. Lol. That was my name, according to her. I really miss Texas, and my friends... Sometimes I wonder what would have happened/where I would be now if I had never come to Chicago. But Izzie very perceptively pointed out that even though she was selfishly sad that I left, she' glad I moved because I really needed to get out of Houston. She reminded me how unhappy I was, which I sometimes sort of forget or overlook when I'm feeling restless, lonely, or homesick. But she told me she'd never seen me so sad, and hopeless. Then she showed me this video on her phone of the last time I visited, and my hair was up in a ponytail and it was just...omg. I had forgotten how the stress and the depression had affected my hair. It was falling out like crazy! It was horrible. It's fine now, and my hair is back to it's normal full self (thank God!), but that was just kind of a reality check.
So even when I get homesick, at least I know I made the right decision coming here. I know I won't stay here forever, but it's ok for now. :)
Yesterday, Sophie and Brent and I went to the Renaissance Faire! It was such a blast... I had on my steel-boned corset, chemise and underskirt, which I haven't worn since Sophie and Brent's wedding. It sort of rained on and off all day, but it was better than being hot! Also, the three of us got to get in a ring, dressed in real armor, and fence to the death!! Lol. They tied balloons to the tops of our helms and you had to pop your opponents balloon to "kill them". It was first to 5 and I was in the lead with 3 strikes, Brent with 1 and Sophie with 0 (lol), but then I started to tire, because I could hardly breathe in my corset, and it was so hot under all that armor, and Brent caught up with me. Then I killed him again, but he kept catching up! Sophie got 2 points by default when Brent and I killed each other simultaneously. Hahaha. We played about 12 rounds, so it was very taxing! In the end, Brent beat me by 1 point. But I blame the corset!! If I hadn't been panting, unable to catch my breath and tripping over my skirts the way I was, I'm sure I would have beat him. In fact, I think if it weren't for the corsets, I would have done quite well living in the Renaissance times. Lol. But omg you should have seen my hair when they took the helm off. Bahaha...
Anyway, it was sooo much fun, and just what I needed right before school starts.
Yup, in 2 days! I can't believe summer is over already. :( Where does the time go??

This morning at 5:45am, Jasper woke me up to go to the bathroom. Which is very unusual, cuz he usually sleeps as long as I sleep, so I knew he must have had to really go. Well it was diarrhea, and it persisted. He woke me twice more after that, and the second time, there was blood in his stool! Of course, I freaked out and rushed him to the vet. Poor baby has a bacterial infection in his GI tract. So we got him some meds, and I have to boil chicken and rice for him to eat all week. And once again, I got next to no sleep. We left for the Ren Faire at 9:30 Sunday morning, and I'd only gotten 3.5 hours of sleep, so I was already exhausted, and then Jaspy got sick... ((sigh)) I don't think he got much sleep last night either. We both just woke up from a much needed nap.
Jasper is so cute at the vet. He gets sooo nervous around the doctors that he jumps in my lap, or curls up behind my legs. He literally buried his head inside my purse, which was in my lap, while we were in the exam room. The vet commented on how attached he is to me. I love him so much! What would we do without our dogs, guys am I right??

One more thing before I go... On Friday, Brazil sent me a facebook friend request. Would anyone like to give me an insightful guess as to why he would do this? I mean clearly I deleted him, and it's not like we're friends in real life. I haven't even seen him once, let alone spoken to him! What's his end game?? And I feel like if I deny his request, then I will come off as not being over it, or bitter. Ugh... So he's just sitting there for now, unconfirmed. Hmmm... Please, please someone tell me what this means!!

Well, once again, I'm sorry I haven't been blogging regularly, but until my life starts to get exciting again, you'll just have to bear with me. :/

Idle Chatter

Well I don't have too much to report, but it's another late night/early morning for me, and I can't sleep. So I figured I'd do some rambling. Well I've just realized that most of my friends are already pregnant with baby #2. ((Sigh)). So that's...depressing.
Also, is it not weird that all my serious boyfriends got married and then started having kids in the order that I dated them?? That's totally weird, right??
Ugh...

Anyway, our staff trip last week was really fun. Of course we all played Truth or Dare the first night as if we were all in high school. Hahaha. But it was hilarious, and my lips are sealed! Lol. And overall it was just a fun, relaxing trip. I drove Ronnie's parents car on the way home, cuz Ronnie was too tired to drive. And that was really nice too, cuz I enjoy driving, but since I don't have a car here in Chicago, I never get to drive. Not to mention, Ronnie's parents drive a Lexus :)

I'm going to Austin in a week too! And I'm sooooooooo excited about that! Hopefully something exciting will happen whilst I am there.

Also, I recently decided that the next guy I hook up with will not be just a hookup. I'm going to be completely celibate until I'm in a relationship. And with the way things are looking, that could be a very, very long time. So let's hope I don't go insane meanwhile. School starts right after I get back from Austin, and up until recently I've been really dreading it. But now I'm actually kind of looking forward to it, if only cuz it means I won't be spending so much time alone, and bored. I really need to get out of the house more. I've been such a homebody this summer. Mostly cuz I'm always trying not to spend any money, although I usually end up failing at that anyway.
My semester is going to be very busy this time around, because I'll be taking all studio classes, Monday through Thursday, and they all go from 9am to 4pm, with 1 hour for lunch. So I'm gonna have to try and turn around my sleep schedule before then. I'm hoping my trip to Austin will do that for me, since Izzie is an early riser.

Well I guess I'm gonna watch another episode of Breaking Bad and then attempt to get some sleep! I'm on season 3. Think I can catch up before season 5 is over??

The Place Where I Belong

If I get a little sad/discouraged/depressed/start feeling sorry for myself every time I see that another person in my social circle has gotten engaged or married, does that make me a selfish person??
Cuz I've been feeling that a lot lately. Two engagements and one wedding within a week. Ugh... It just makes me feel so inadequate. So...lonely.
And not just for a significant other, but for my family and my friends. I know I have Sophie, but she's talking about moving to NYC next year, and one good friend isn't always enough. Over the past year+ that I've been here in Chicago, I've learned something really important: that you should never take your friends for granted. Because true friends, the friends you stay in touch with for years and years, the friends you can always count on, the friends who you're not afraid to cry in front of, are really hard to find. And they're even harder to replace.
I guess I'm getting a bit homesick. It's weird because I finally have my own place here, and I actually do feel "at home", but I still feel alone. I mean I have Abbie, but she's not Izzie. She's not Jenna. She's not Taryn. I miss them all so much. Which brings me to my next point...
I'm thinking about moving to Austin. When I finish school I mean. NOLA is still in the running of course, but Austin may now be a close contender. My trip down there is only in a couple more weeks, so perhaps that will paint a clearer picture for me.
But how will I know when I've found the place where I belong? Not just geographically, but career-wise, relationship-wise, friendship-wise? Am I too late to be asking myself these questions??

Felix the Fuckwad

Well it's been slow going the last couple of weeks, but I have a few things to report...

Work stuff. There's been a lot more drama than usual going on at work, starting with Felix, my new LEAST favorite person at work. Ugh. But before I get to that, I have to tell you that the week after next, the staff is taking a trip to Wisconsin! Which I am really excited about, but before I get to that, I have to tell you what happened with Felix. I'll start from the beginning of that story...
So you all know I've been bartending for many years, and when I started working at my current bar, I agreed to take a couple serving shifts while the owner made some scheduling adjustments to get some bar shifts. Well it's been a little over a year, and I'm still only bartending once a week, which I am not happy about. And I'm getting frustrated about it too, because once school starts, I'm gonna have to give up my Thursday shift because of class. Which means I'll only be working 2 shifts a week, and I just don't think that's gonna cut it for me. So I've sort of been toying with the idea of looking for another job, possibly. But, that's just background info. So anyways, Felix is one of the bartenders, and he also makes the schedule, so he's technically a bartender/manager, even though all he does is make the schedule. He also happens to be one of the worst bartenders we have because A) he is the least experienced, B) he's slow C) he's not very good at multitasking and D) he gets easily flustered and frustrated when it gets busy. So instead of putting his head down and busting his ass, he freaks out and tends to snap at people. Ugh. Needless to say, it's hard to respect someone like that, even if he is in a position of superiority.
A couple weeks ago Felix sent out a email to all the staff asking for volunteers to work this event on a Sunday. I volunteered to bartend, and he responded telling me that the bartending slot had already been filled, but that he still needed servers if I was interested. Well I wasn't interested, so I didn't respond. I only volunteered to bartend because he said it was going to be a cash bar, whereas the servers would just be serving plates of food which was included in a flat rate tickets. Meaning, they probably wouldn't make any money.
So a week later, Felix writes me back again:

Hi Peyton,

I wanted to follow-up with you on this. Given your availability on this date, I will need to schedule you to serve as I am still in need of 2  servers. Should things change with the bartenders, you will be the first to move into that role. I expect this to be a lucrative shift for both servers and bartenders alike. Thank you for your understanding and I appreciate you being available.

-Felix


Are you fucking kidding me?! After a week, during which I've made plans, you're just TELLING me I have to work this stupid event! He didn't even ask! He just fucking scheduled me. The fucking bastard. <-- That was my initial reaction. But then I thought about it, and I was like, "You know what? I could get mad and tell him no, or I could just suck it up and work. I need the money anyway. So I wrote him back, "Ok, no problem." Ugh.

Then the following week, I was talking with some of my other coworkers about it, because no one else had volunteered to work! DUH because they all had the same thought that I had, which is that the servers weren't going to make any money. So I decided to write Felix another email. And before I sent it, I had one of the other servers read it, just to make sure it was ok to send. This is what it said:

Hey Felix,

Quick question: Are the servers going to be tipped out for this event?? Because in my experience, usually when there's a flat rate people don't really tip and I don't wanna come in and just work for free, ya know? So I'm just curious why you think its going to be a lucrative shift. I don't mean to sound bitchy, but at the end of the day, that's kinda what counts. And I know a couple other servers who are hesitant to volunteer for this reason. So just wondering what the deal is.

Thanks,

Peyton

Keep in mind that I was writing this to a fellow bartender and peer... Well several days go by and he never bothers responding, and the other girls are asking me what the deal is, etc. And I'm like, "I don't know, he never responded."
Then finally, last Thursday I got this email, FROM MY BOSS, Caleb (the owner):

I've been in discussion with Felix regarding your concerns about serving for the event on Sun July 22nd.  To be frank, I don't think you're being bitchy with the concerns about tip money, but I do think that you are being contradictory, ignorant, and short sighted with that thought process. 

Contradictory in that you shared with me on Tuesday that you are broke, so I imagine any money is better than none at all. 

Ignorant in that if I selfishly made every decision at [bar] strictly on finances and profitability, as seems to be your main concern about 7/22, that the workplace you are currently employed in would be far less desirable than it is, while most certainly more profitable for me.

Short sighted in that just days ago I sent an email regarding an employee trip and how [bar] functions as a whole.  Please let me know of the last bar that you worked at that closed for 3 days for an employee trip.  Even with the generosity of Ronnie's parents to let us use their cabin, it will be quite an expense that I'd like to think is going to be appreciated and rewarding.

Safe to say that I was surprised, hurt, and disturbed by your concerns.  Even more so when you had alluded to other servers sharing this same concern, leading me to think that I am ignorant to a budding problem at [bar]. I consider myself to be an approachable owner & manager, and would hope that if you had any legitimate concerns, financial or otherwise, that you would speak to me about them before passing a blanket judgement.

To directly answer your question about the event, I will be sure that all workers leave with an appropriate amount of money for their services on 7/22, including adding money collected from ticket sales to whatever individual tips are left by customers.  Due to a lack of ticket sales, and a disappointing lack of support from the neighborhood association who benefit most by our hosting this event, the event may be cancelled.  If the event is confirmed for 7/22, I would expect and appreciate your help that night.

Lastly, please do not be angry with Felix sharing your email with me.  As a manager, it is his job to do so.

I'll be in Sat with my family, but would rather not discuss this at that time.  If you want to discuss on the phone before I return to work on Thus 7/19, let me know and I'll arrange it.


Needless to say I was totally shocked to receive that, and the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. First of all, I think Caleb's response was a complete overreaction, and way out of line, and just plain MEAN. Secondly, I think Felix is a little BITCH! Fucking whining to Caleb, practically hiding behind his mummy's skirts because he can't deal with shit himself. I mean if I was going to send an email to Caleb I would have worded it WAY differently! But I know it's my own fault, and I should be more conscientious of what I put in writing, since I have been known to get myself in trouble for that in the past.
I just hate passive aggressive people! Fucking grow a pair!!! UUUUUUUUUGGGGGH!!!!

Well I wrote Caleb back, apologized for offending him, and explained that I think it was just a misunderstanding, and that perhaps I am ignorant about how these events are run, and that I just wanted to be kept informed. And I told him that we do appreciate everything he does for us.
(Despite the fact that I think it's fucked up he was trying to throw the staff trip back in my face when:
1) it's supposed to be his way of thanking us as his employees, and showing his appreciation to us, not the other way around, and
2) back in Houston, we took employee trips twice a year! Not once every 4, which is pretty much what it's like here, but whatever...)

Then Caleb wrote me back, "Thanks, I appreciate it, we'll chat on Thursday", which is tomorrow.
So when I talk to him tomorrow I'm going to tell him that Felix basically forced me into working it, and that I had to cancel my plans, and that I was pissed about it. I mean if you ask people to volunteer for something, and then they do, and then you basically punish them for it, that's just...fucked up! And of course I won't say it in those words, but I'm just so fucking pissed about this whole situation because if Felix wasn't such a FUCKING PUSSY none of this would have happened!!

So now I'm back to thinking about getting a new job, as much as I cringe at the idea of job hunting, it just kinda seems like a good idea right now. I just feel like Caleb has gotten the complete wrong impression of me, and the fact that I'm still waiting tables is not helping.

But the staff trip is happening in a couple weeks, and Ronnie's parents have a cabin on Green Bay that we're gonna all stay at, and it should be a lot of fun. There aren't any boys I work with who I'm even remotely interested in though, which means there will be no romance. Booo. Oh well. Abbie, Ronnie and I will have girl time.

So that's what's up with me! Sorry it's been so long!