Thursday, March 10, 2016

Dating Is The Worst

So I still haven't seen Adam since our ONE date, last Monday/Tuesday. I'm trying really hard to stay positive and not overanalyze, but let me present both sides and you all can judge for yourselves. PLEASE comment and give me your opinions.

This feels a lot like when a guy is either just not that into me, or he's not looking to get into a relationship, so he tries not to encourage the girl too much. Like, we went on the one date, and then had sex, so maybe he feels he doesn't need to pursue me anymore. Or maybe he just got what he wanted out of it and he's hoping it'll just fizzle. Over the last 4 days, our texting has slowed and I feel like I've been doing most of the initiation/driving the conversation. This worries me because I think I'm a pretty intuitive person, and generally when I start getting this vibe from someone, especially this early on, I just wanna let it go and move on before it gets worse.

PROS (or more aptly, Reasons/Excuses Why He May Seem Disinterested)
He has kept in touch with me throughout his work week, even if some of our messages were few and far between. And he did tell me it would be really hard for him to do anything during his work week because his schedule is so wack. He gets called in at weird hours, and sometimes has to work through the night and then try to sleep at the station while he waits for another ship to bring him back to the city. And then maybe the next day he works during the day and he's tired the whole shift, but then he can't sleep at night. So he doesn't sleep well and he doesn't sleep much during work weeks and is rarely home. I get that.
I was kinda hoping to maybe see him last night, because his work weeks begin and end on Wednesdays, so I knew he'd be off, but he told me an old professor of his was in town so he was going to meet up with him.
The other thing is, he's flying to LA today to meet with his friend who wants him to basically be a COO of his company or some shit. And he told me on our date that he was really nervous about it, because he doesn't have any experience in that area and he doesn't think he has enough confidence to really "own a room". He even went to the bookstore and bought a couple books on business and about being confident. So I know he's probably had a lot of his mind with that, and he won't be back until Sunday or Monday, I can't remember which.
I did tell him he'd probably be getting some drunk texts from me this weekend while he's in LA, since Sophie is here and we're going out Friday night, and he'll be 2 hours behind over there. His response was that he loves drunk texts, so that is encouraging.
The other thing is, he told me he would always be honest with me and he specifically said that if he's seeing someone and he's just not into them, that he would TELL that person that. He actually told me the last girl he briefly dated was a setup by one of his neighbors, and it turned out that they didn't really have chemistry. So he broke it off, and told her he just didn't see it going anywhere, but she still texts him apparently. So I would hope that if he wasn't into me, he would do me the same courtesy, and just tell me. And then I would NOT continue to text him.

Ok so that's everything I think. But I haven't heard from him at all today, and he hasn't even left yet. Although he did say he was getting a massage today and he sleeps a lot when he finishes a work week. Probably nice to be back in his own bed (which is super comfy, btw). So what do I do? Do I send him a text and wish him a safe flight and good luck etc, or do I wait and just drunk text him tomorrow night? Do I ask him if he wants to get together next week? Or do I do neither and wait till he gets back and see if I hear from him?
Did I completely misread him and he's blowing me off and I'm just too in denial to see it??
UGhhhh dating is the worst.


Jade said...

You're over thinking it. Look at your paragraph of cons & you novel of pros, lol. Just send him a "good luck" text. Keep yourself busy and focus on that. If he text, he text. Just don't jump the gun. Breathe and ride it out. If you don't hear from him say monday, then text him and ask what's up, but be chill and nonchalant.

I've been reading your blog for a very long time and I have to say, I have a good feeling about this. Good luck!

And no drunk texting! Not yet at least, too early in the game, imo.

Roberta Barr said...

Dating in your 30's really does suck and men are so confusing even though they say women are confusing!!!! I would send him a have a safe flight text and leave it at that if he response great if he doesn't then I would leave it till he texts you!

Autumn said...

I think you should let him take the lead on this and let him do the texting/initiating. If he does initiate something, then be encouraging, but don't take the lead yourself. I think this will make things very clear about whether or not he is interested in you and you won't have to make yourself crazy.

He could just be really busy or distracted or want to take things slow or unsure of his feelings, so just chill and see if he keeps the line of communication going himself.